Thank you would be an understatement. This is one of the best comments i have ever received. I cant even express my exact feelings in words.This content was originally posted by: bitastaWhere were u all this time?
I surely missed reading some wonderful stuffs because u joined the forum late...This by far is my favourite ff with regards to S2 (and one of my favorite Manan stories too)...The essence of characters, the sheer beauty of their characterisations, every emotion conveyed, all feelings said and unsaid-implict and explicit, the demons each of them is facing, the turmoil each of them is surrounded with... you have nailed them all.And Manan - they are as beautiful as they were in S1 because you have still retained the crux of their love story -- no loud words or empty promises just to chicken out at time of need like in other desi dramas, but subtle acknowledgements, tender realizations, silent promises but heart warming loyalties and showing by doing among others... Oh how I miss watching them.. But through story like this, I am able to live in retrospect.. Thank you for this...I might not be regular with my comments, but just have to let you know that I will still be waiting for your updates...Love n God Bless,Anura
Chapter 31
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Flashback: 3 years ago on New Year:
"Dad isme to sirf mere tickets hain, Nandini ke tickets kahan hain?"
"Manik, listen I need to talk to you, lets just sit down for a while. Its urgent beta"
"Not now dad, I haven't even started packing.. Rat ko flight hai and abhi Nandini call karke chillayegi..and uske tickets bhi...dad, kis idiot ko diye the booking karne!!" Manik was in a mess. It was new year's day and he, sorry they had a flight to catch at 11 pm for Denmark. He hadn't even begun his packing. On top of that, her tickets were missing. If Nandini called him now, she would sure as hell blast him for being so lousy. These last minute glitches always made her nervous.
"You really love her, don't you?"
Why did dad have to ask such a dumb question now?
" Need I even answer that? Of course I do." He answered without looking up. He was busy deciding if he should carry his guitar as a cabin luggage or check it in. These international flights were notorious for misplacing luggage and his guitar was something he couldn't afford to part with, not even for a day.
"Then you shouldn't do this to her."
"Do what?" He stopped and looked questioningly at his father. What the hell was he trying to say?
"You are ruining her life Manik."
"Dad before I lose my cool, would you please explain what's this about? N please be quick because I have tons to do... n yeah while you explain all this, please ask your booking guy to get me the tickets ASAP if he wants to remain in one piece."
"Manik, stop this nonsense and listen to me." This wasn't going well. There were ominous dark clouds gathering outside and Manik began feeling increasingly uneasy.
He waited for his father to continue. "Manik you know why you are going to Denmark, because you are sick. And unfortunately your sickness doesn't have a definite cure. It's a gamble that could go either ways. But what about Nandini, aren't you spoiling her whole life by dragging her into this?"
"But she is the one who wanted to come, when did I drag her. She loves me and what she is doing is the most natural thing to do. God forbids, but if I were in her place, I would have done the same." He tried to plead. He was still unable to understand the point his dad was trying to make.
"Yes, she is doing it on her own will because she loves you. I admire her courage and I respect her feelings for you. But what about your feelings for her, how and when did you become so selfish? You have already started forgetting things AND HER. Meri baat hoti rehti hai tumhare doctor se. So i know ki zyada hope nahi hai.
And in that case, have you thought that if tomorrow they can't save your memory, what will happen to her? Woh bacchi, she is leaving her studies, her friends, her family here only to support you. It isnt as easy for her as she is making it appear. Do you have any clue how insecure she must be feeling from inside. Kalko you take her along and then if you lose your memory, imagine what will she go through alone in a foreign country. You will be in the hospital, and who will take care of her? And I am not even considering the social backlash that her family might have to bear for this naive decision of hers."
'Shit!!! why didn't it strike him before? Why didn't he convince her to stay back? His dad did have a point but it was too late now.'
"Why are you telling me now, aaapne pehle kyun nahi bataya, jab itne dino se ye sab cha raha tha, abhi kya karun main, usko jake bolun ki - Nandini thank you very much for wanting to come along but I can't take you because I have just had a eureka moment and realized that it would be unfair on you?" He was getting increasingly pissed off, but deep inside a tiny seed of doubt had been successfully planted. And this doubt, had the potential to snowball into a fire that could swallow his entire existence.
"to kya karega? What will you do, snatch away every single thing that she has, take her away from here only to push her towards an unknown, uncertain life... Wah Manik so this is what you meant by loving her.."
"Dad I can't do this, not at this moment... see its 1 pm, in 6 hours we are supposed to leave for the airport, don't do this dad, she will not be able to take this, I know her dad, she will lose it. I won't be able to stand her..I won't be able to leave her like this..." First time in years Manik was crying in front of his father. The tough shield he carried everywhere, even that couldn't stop his pain from spilling out.
"To mat bol usko, you just leave and I will manage everything.. I will make sure she understands your dilemna"
"Do you even understand what crap you are talking? You are asking me to disappear... without informing her? And break her trust for ever?"
"Don't be unreasonable Manik. If you confront her, she would never let you go. You both are young Manik and you would just flow with your emotions, you would never understand the implications of your decisions... life is not always smooth Manik. I have seen life and it can be nasty. And its not that you are leaving her for good. Once you board your flight and are out of here, I would myself go to her house and tell her. Once your treatment is over, everything will be back to normal."
"What if they can't treat me...what if ...what if ...I forget everything and ... her?" He couldn't bring himself to utter those words, he was chocking.
"If that happens, and its not that she doest know that it can't happen.. I dont know how things will be. But from my side, I can assure you ki the choice will be urs.. Whether she wants to stay with a known stranger or if you want to stay with an unknown lover, but from my end i will make sure both of you know the truth and there's no mis communication in between."
Manik was still not able to bring himself to understand the monumentality of his father's words. Was he telling him to just disappear from her life and perhaps put an abrupt end to their humesha.. Wasn't Manan for ever? Till the stars shine and the fireflies glow.. Then how did it come to this? Why him? Why, of all people, he was chosen to do this.. to give up his love, his star, the only relation in life that was not based on give and take?
This was not some 'butterflies-in-your-stomach' wala teenage puppy love. He had been there, done that for 7 years. He knew what infatuation felt like and he had had his brief spells of obsession and lust. When you are young and your hormones are on overdrive, you go through a rainbow of emotions till you stumble upon something that's real. She was that, the real deal. He couldn't live without her, he had known it when they were together and he had known it better when they were apart. After his accident, when he was bedridden for months, he had chanted her name with every breath..like a prayer. What was happening to his body was terrible, but he hardly felt that pain, because what happened inside him was way more torturous and so, one fine day when he had had enough, he simply self-discharged himself without consulting his doctor or informing his father. He didn't care about the repercussions that his incomplete treatment could have on his body and mind. Because honestly, without her he was anyways dying everyday.
Never in his life had he thought he would be using these cheezy lines but she was his everything. She was the 'home' his parents could never give him, she was the 'trust' that his friends took away from him, she was the 'hope' he sought in stars and she was the 'music' in his heartbeat.
"I can't do this. She is going with me." He wiped off his tears.
"If you take her, you do it for yourself...if you don't, you do it for her." I can't decide for you, I can only show you the picture you failed to see yourself"
"If you take her, you do it for yourself...if you don't, you do it for her." That was it. He tried to recall the two times he was in hospital, one when he was almost on the verge of getting his infected hand amputated and the other when he had collapsed without a reason and he realized that both times she had been beyond miserable. Those were minor injuries, this...what he was going for now was damn serious... Will she survive this ordeal, and even if she did, will he be there to hold her?
He loved her like a madman, enough to be able to die so that she could live.
He will disappear... and trust his dad do the rest. He would take this leap of faith.. Out of LOVE for Her and because he TRUSTED his dad.
'I will go alone" that was the last thing he spoke with a steely resolve. His eyes were burning, his heart sore. "But you have to promise me you will take care of her until I return."
"I will" His father pulled him in an assuring hug.
It tore him apart too, to see his son like this. But Mr. Malhotra held himself up, because whatever he was doing, he was doing it for Manik. Everything is fair in love.. even deceit.
Manik stuffed a few clothes in his rucksack bag and popped a few sleeping pills. On a piece of paper he scribbled 'I will always love you, till the stars shine and the fireflies glow. Forgive me for this but I will return. Wait for me..' He kept the note under his special lamp on his bed side table. He knew she would come searching for him.
'Aiyappa, Nandini's aiyappa...take care of her please' He muttered under his breath and ran down. His driver was waiting downstairs to take him to the International Airport - departure terminal. He was going to board the 6 pm flight now, alone..
His guitar lay on his bed, neither making it to the check in luggage nor to the cabin.
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