|| .: The Fandom Menace :. ||

Posted: 7 years ago


"Unusual. Impressive but very unusual."

Dr. Hannibal Lecter turned another page of the patient's medical file. It was a massive beige folder with a copious amounts of papers sticking out. Dr. Lecter controlled the urge to sketch out a new fanart of Deadpool on them but the temptation! According to the reports, the patient, who had been nicknamed "Normal Human", had been unable to complete a full session with his previous psychiatrist due to a nervous breakdown that the doctor had to go through.

"Well, this should be interesting." Dr. Lecter stated into the air, nonchalantly.

'Normal Human' walked into the room, hands rubbing against the neck, eyes darting around the expanse of the room as if someone was going to pop up and give him a surprise of his lifetime.

"Hello," Dr. Lecter greeted, his curious eyes watchful because the vibes of 'here-I-am-make-me-a-sociopath' were stronger than Facebook's security system.

Normal Human, simply nodded his head, gingerly taking his seat while his eyes continuously kept darting around.

"Are you expecting someone?"

"N-No." He stammered. "Are you?"

Hannibal knew he has found who he was waiting for. He'll make a great co owner of the new massacre Tumblr blog maybe?

"What are you so frightened of?"

"Y-You don't know?" Normal Human asked, sliding close to the edge of their seat.

"Know what?" Dr. Lecter asked.

"The... they're everywhere. It's everywhere. H-How do you not know?" Normal Human's voice choked out, with watery eyes.

"Why don't you be more elaborate? Hmm? What exactly happened?" Dr. Lecter sat back in his seat, hands clasped upon the desk.

"The darkness was bright like the words in a Fan-Fiction, the wind was filled with sounds of Bilibers, there was a broken ship in front of me looking so haunted then I heard the sound of death..." The Normal Human said with fear visible in his eyes. 

"What did it sound like?" Hannibal was so excited. His How to Get Away With Murder FF can have this convo as an intro!

Normal Human shivered, still finding it difficult to speak, he stammered, 

"OMG, MY OTP!"

"I SHIP THEM!"

He quoted, remembering his dreadful encounter as a lone tear escaped his eye.

"They're not normal. They will destroy the world. F a n d o m s will destroy the world!"


 

Dr. Hannibal Lecter never felt so happy in his life, not even when Sherlock signed his blade. He of course recognized the symptoms that Normal Human was suffering from the minute he walked in. The disease was running around like a plague, infesting the minds and souls of every individual. Consuming their bodies whole and conditioning their brains into operating their daily existence around one simple thing: fandom.

It didn't take much time for Dr. Lecter to make out how scared the Normal Human was of  f a n d o m s

The N0rmal Human was living a life full of peace and happiness, satisfaction and content until he met a group of fans. His encounter with those emotionally hyper people destroyed his life. He was scared, so damn scared.

Dr. Lecter unclasped his hands and picked up a piece of white card. "What do you see here?"

Normal Human immediately clenched the arm rests, digging chewed up fingertips into the material.

"How about this?Dr. Lecter displayed another card.

Normal Human's eyes went wide, threatening to pop out of their sockets. His upper body was stretched as far away from the display card as possible.

"Oh relax. They're not going to pop out of the picture and eat you. Only if they are not from The Ring fandom of course." smirking to himself and rolling his eyes. 

"They're simply a bunch of loony bins who are way over their heads if they believe the fate of the entire world rests on their shoulders."

"Hey! Don't you say that! You have no idea of all the sacrifices that these guys have made. All the deep and tremendous sorrow that they have faced in their young lives. Nobody is perfect in this world, but at least they haven't given up and stopped believing. They put on a brave face every day and face the harsh dangers that threaten the world and stop one catastrophe after another." Normal Human huffed out, with a redden face.

Dr. Lecter raised a bushy eyebrow. 

"My, my, my. How the tables have turned."

"What do you mean?"

"You, my dear prefer-to-live-in-denial friend, have become what you fear the most." Dr. Lecter took a long, dramatic pause, staring into the deep orbs of Normal Human.

Seconds slowly crept by, sweat dripped down Normal Human's temple. Dr. Lecter didn't bat an eyelash and for a moment, Normal Human wondered if Dr. Lecter had stopped breathing.

Gulping, Normal Human asked, "W-What have I become?"

Keeping that intense stare locked onto Normal Human, Dr. Lecter replied.

"A  fan."


Credits:
|18shabbo|
|asmaanixx| |unitatoxo.|
|-Trishh-| |.nerfherder| |DUGGUlicious| |.Leprechaun.|
|caffeinaddict.|

Edited by asmaanixx - 7 years ago
Posted: 7 years ago



"No, no, I don't believe you." Normal Human replied, refusing to believe the accusation that was being laid against him/her.

"But it is the truth. No matter how you deny it, it won't change the fact that you are a fan." Dr. Lecter spoke the last few words with a great emphasis. 

"No! You're lying!" Normal Human yelled, getting up from their chair.

"And why would I do that? There is nothing for me to gain from all of this." Dr. Lecter replied, slowly blinking his eyes. "Besides, the proof doesn't lie."

"Proof? What proof?" Normal Human inquired, slowly sitting back in the plush chair.

"I'm going to list out some fandom categories. By the time we're finished, you will realize you belong to at least one category, if not all." Dr. Lecter opened up a PowerPoint presentation on his computer and began demonstrating the multi-facets of being in a fandom.





This person knows every detail of every TV series, film actors/actresses, musicians, authors (you get the point) that he/she follows. Every episode of every season (even those which haven't aired yet); every gossip, every rumor is imprinted on their minds. Don't even bother trying to argue with them as they will beat you with their sheer intelligence of knowing the minutest of the minute details. Like how Dean wore a light purple/pink plaid shirt when meeting Castiel after a long time, or of how John held onto Sherlock's thigh to lift himself up.

If you try to have a simple discussion on what you recently watched, they will take it to a whole new level by dissecting the feature into millions of pieces in numerous different angles, all iced with personal judgments and loud shouts and screams.
In short, while they're ranting at the speed of light, you'll be searching for an off switch. But remember, you will not find that switch. Maybe six feet under.




Let's face it, we've all stalked someone at some point of our lives. Whether it's following weeks' old Twitter posts, or liking every single Instagram pic that the user has posted, we've all done something to creep people out. The fandom induced stalker is someone who follows their idols on any and every existing social network. Their morning ritual comprises of checking for any latest updates before doing more important things like opening their eyes in the real world.

It is best to avoid the stalking fans as they have no limits. They can go as far as tracking your every move to obtaining candid personal pics. When you see them, just slowly walk away because if you try and run, they will possess you.




This type of fan is found everywhere. And I mean, everywhere. They are not the type to simply like one thing and be happy about it. They are like that ravenous black hole that need more to sustain itself. But no matter how much they in take, they will never be content. The desire to fill themselves up with more fandoms, with more love and more feels, will always remain. 

The amount of mental elasticity that this fan has is unbelievable. One would expect for them to get their facts mixed up because of the vast content that is stored in their brain, but nope! Their memory storage is truly unparalleled as they remember every single minute detail.




These fans are the most timid. You would never expect them to be one until you say the magic phrase: "Do you follow any T.V. series?"

At that point the fan in question will react in the following ways:

 .Turn their head like the exorcist girl to check that you have actually asked that question.

.Their eyes will distinctly turn into two hearts.

.They will begin to vomit rainbows.

Once you open the Pandora's Box, you'll come to find that nine times out of ten they are much more fan crazed than you!





 This type of fan ships any pair. Whether it's canon, non-canon,  or a crack  - it doesn't matter. They will ship them all. Trying to make them see otherwise is futile as they won't change their minds. If they have decided that two people belong together, nothing will prevent them from shipping them together. Not even God. They'll always be there to say that they love them too much together!



"Now, where do you see yourself?" Dr.Lecter asked Normal Human, with the calm of a dragon.


"OMG," Normal Human whispered out, "They're worse than I thought..."

"I beg your pardon?" Hannibal was surprised. Maybe the second time after Luke and Leia turned out to be siblings.


"They're going to ruin the world. I-I have to stop them!" Normal Human began to get of the plush chair, their eyes darting around in agitation.

"Hey, calm down. There's no need to panic." Dr. Lecter tried to console.

"C-Calm down? How can I calm down when there are lunatics out there trying to destroy the world! I can't calm down! I have to go out there and stop them from spreading the plague. My gosh, this is worse than the black death!" Normal Human slammed the door shut on their way out.

Dr. Lecter was shocked. A potential fan was going away, denying their powers, denying their destiny, denying him a new blog!!!


"Looks like I will have to prick the mortal humans to do my biding."

Edited by unitatoxo. - 7 years ago
Posted: 7 years ago


"We would like to hear what you have acquired from your meeting with Normal Human Dr. Lecter because their unusual behaviour is quite frightening." The Jury asked and hoped that this gets wrapped up soon enough because their free Netflix was gonna expire today.

"Your Honour," Dr. Hannibal Lecter took a bow, containing his cheer and started.

Observations: The patient seems to suffer from a severe case of Fandom Fever. The encounter with the fandoms has disturbed the patient greatly and has fueled in them a desire to avenge them-self. But it is not so. Normal Human defended their cause like a comrade when the fandoms were portrayed in a bad light.  The patient shows signs of aggression bordering on violence as they vow to bring balance to the world and 'cleanse' it, i.e, wipe the mere humans off the face of this earth.

Personal Note: The patient is a threat to the normal 'watching-TV-talking-TV-but-never-accepting-TV" world. Their behavior is almost psychopathic (I would know) and demands attention. They must not be let free as they wreak havoc in the world. We need to come up with a plan for the safety of all human jokes.


"Your Honour,

After extensive interactive sessions with the patient, I've succeeded in diagnosing him. Our patient here seems to have caught the fandom fever. My Lord, let me explain how this works.




According to our sessions, our patient was first exposed to a fandom, a few days before the symptoms began to emerge. Normal Human was, to quote him/her, 'was just surfing through the internet when I tumbled across tumblr'. This is the first step, The Discovery. You come across a fandom and decide to learn about it, to see what is so special; but it sucks you in, akin to a vortex. It looks so desirable, you want to marry every single one on your screen. The Discovery takes place in several ways: coming across it on the internet or the television or through recommendation by an acquaintance or by plain curiosity. Discovery of a fandom and getting interested in it is what spells doom.

The next stage in the descent to madness is the gradual obsession you grow regarding the characters which ultimately leads into a full blown case of addiction. You grow hungry for news regarding yourfavorite show, you begin stalking anyone and everyone involved with it, you begin shipping people, read and/or write fan fictions on your OTP. Your fandom occupies every thought of every day. Now, our patient here has shown similar symptoms. Every session was filled with talks of the fandom which just proved to me that our patient here is a fan.

Normal Human's face adorns a crazed look whenever we talk about the fandoms they are a part of. The patient shows signs of delirium and acts similar to a maniac whenever his favorite character is mentioned.

"To conclude I would say that this patient is a threat to the society. A borderline obsessive fan."


"Trust me, My Lord, I am the doctor."


Dr. Hannibal Lecter stepped down from the witness box with a smug smile and took his seat, awaiting the verdict, as the patient stood before him, frozen in disbelief. The jury, for their part were horrified by the doctor's statement and the patient's report. This was a very serious issue, this 'fandom fever' , as the doctor put it. They had to do something about it.


"Order! Order! Order!"

"On the basis of Dr. Lecter's report and his testament in this court, the jury has hereby decided that the fandom fever is indeed a serious concern and thus the patient is to be locked up for eternity, for the good of the world."


"NOOO!" 

But the scream was not heard as the Normal Human was dragged to a cell where there was no wifi. An apt punishment because as Dr. Lecter knew, the lack of a thing arouses the need of it and slowly it would grow and make our Normal Human accept their obsession with the fans and ready them to take their place as a loyal acolyte to  fandoms.


Edited by -Trishh- - 7 years ago
Posted: 7 years ago
I love the sassy tone throughoutπŸ˜† Amazing writeups y'allπŸ˜† and another rocking thread from RAD! πŸ‘
Posted: 7 years ago
Gur this is such serious writing by God will take time to understand πŸ˜†
Posted: 7 years ago
Great thread guys! πŸ‘πŸΌ I looove the author(s) of this post. πŸ˜†
Posted: 7 years ago
Originally posted by Sherni_Jerry


Gur this is such serious writing by God will take time to understand πŸ˜†

LOLL, this is much lighter than what I usually write. And make do with this until I come back. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
Posted: 7 years ago
Gosh this is fantastic
Well done guys
Posted: 7 years ago
Gur, it is a very serious writing lol. I'm gonna finish reading it later! ;)Edited by _Meena_ - 7 years ago
Posted: 7 years ago
Originally posted by _Meena_


Gur, it is a very serious writing lol. I'm gonna finish reading it later! ;)

Yup! My most serious yet. xD

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