STILL
THE LIFE GOES ON...
In
the dense forest even the sunlight cannot penetrate properly. In this gloomy
yet stuffy afternoon the Pandavas reassemble in a specific place. They have
collected enough fruits and other foods but still need some more for future
storage. They are little bit confused to make further plans. Their conscious
minds force them to continue with their hunting, but the subconscious mind
still remains with her. They have left Panchali alone in their hut. Though it
is a regular routine but nobody want to do that. From the very beginning of
their relation all five of them had a kind of possessiveness about their
extremely beautiful wife. In their innermost sense they never wanted to let
somebody else to see her or to talk to her. Draupadi used to tease them for
this peculiar attitude. But all her fun, all their pride on their love, devotion,
submission and sincerity became a pathetic ridicule on that fateful day of the
dice game. They are no more worthy to express their love, concern for her. She
has refused to entertain any of their company and abandoned all their authority
over her. Draupadi has every right to punish them--- the five brothers consciously
admit it but at the same time fail to console their confused soul and emotion.
That thirsty hearts and souls desperately want her presence, her touch, her
attention and love towards them. Though she is as sincere in her familial responsibilities
as she was in before but it is not at all sufficient to heal their wounded
heart. They are longing for the warmth of her beauty, for those unique, sensous
caresses, that physical intimacy of her which made their inner beings capable
of withstanding all the challenges of the outer world. But all their desires
have seemed to be a mere day dream for
them now. They even do not dare to talk to her freely or ask the minimum well
being of her. Life has become so painful and unbearable for them which they
never imagined of. Even when they had to take that unique decision of polyandrous
relation, they did not feel so embarrassed or helpless as they are now
experiencing after so many years of their marriage. Though five of them have
distinct emotional and sentimental feelings for Draupadi, but all of them
possess some common desires and expectations from their love lives. True, they
have failed her at that dice hall, but is it the only incident to prove their
incapability and unworthiness as husbands and lovers? Didn't they prove
anything in these years of their married life as devoted lovers and sincere
husbands? The five brothers desperately try to remember all those sweet moments
of their conjugal lives but cannot describe them before Panchali or even cannot
ask this simple question which always occurs in their minds. They do not feel
any comfort to live separately from her, but now they have to go through the
same arrangements. Panchali consciously maintains a physical and emotional
distance from them. In their inner mind they have no shame to admit the fact
that from time to time all of them try to apply some tricks to feel her touch,
her embrace. But Draupadi does not respond to these innocent yet intentional
gestures of them. Though from the very
beginning of their conjugal lives Panchali usually maintained a kind of
reserved yet sensual attitude towards them but it never made them irritated.
Rather it created a kind of enigmatic sensation which made them more desperate
and devoted to win her. Their never ending attempts to grasp that ravishing
beauty within the fourfold of their arms, their lustful desire to taste the
every facets of her extraordinary personality and youthful presence always made
them concerned and conscious about her. An immensely intelligent lady like
Draupadi must have aware of this emotional state of her husbands though she
never openly acknowledge it. Now these sweet, sourly feelings and memories of
their past remain the only solace and way to survive. Each and every day their
subconscious minds remain entangled with all these things which perhaps will
never be a reality again. Today the five helpless, mighty warriors and their
thirsty souls are again praying for the revival of their love life, return of a
beautiful, enigmatic smile on their wife's face.
A
few hours ago it seemed to be a sunny day. But the nature has started changing
fast which the five Pandava brothers did not notice properly. They were
actually fully engrossed with their dream of Panchali. Clouds begin to cover
the bright sky and the dark forest becomes darker. Suddenly a splash of light
with a heart breaking thundering of clouds has pulled them out of their trance.
Heavy shower which has already started
is becoming heavier with the passing of time. The Pandavas try to save the
foodstuffs which they have already collected and attempted to move. Don't
go'---- Sahadev cries out. We will neither find out the rout properly nor can
we protect ourselves from these calamities. It's better to wait for sometime in
these caves and then begin our journey.' The other four brothers at once
accepted his proposal and take shelter in a nearby cave.
The
Pandavas have just put down their baggage and weapons and are about to take
some rest. Oh No---- Suddenly a triggering feeling has made them jump out
within the cave. She is very much afraid of the heavy raining, thundering and
perhaps she is now alone within the hut. How much frightened and helpless will
she be now! That very idea has forced the five Pandava brothers to rush out
from the cave and they started running fanatically. In the midst of such a
heavy rainfall it is really tough to locate the proper rout within this dense
forest. But these hurdles are no longer able to distract them from their destiny.
They have already failed her and that single misdeed cost a huge loss. They
will no longer let her be alone and to think them unworthy of her love and
concern.
...TBC
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