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Innocent Love-AK ,pt 15, p.22

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Anandhini

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Anandhini

Joined: 05 July 2005

Posts: 916

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 10:46am | IP Logged

Hi friends,

I am starting a new fanfiction but not able to decide what to name it, so I am posting the first part now, please give me some names.

hope you all like the first part

luv

sweetySmile 



Edited by sweety223 - 15 March 2007 at 10:23pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

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Anandhini

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Anandhini

Joined: 05 July 2005

Posts: 916

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 10:48am | IP Logged

Part 1

It's a nice warm evening at a hill station, shimla

We see a girl and a boy riding on their bicycles,(we can only see their back ) sort of competition

Boy: di iss bar app mujhe harra nahin saktey

 

and he turns back but he can't find his di

 

boy: oh no iska mathlab iss bar bhi di

 

now we see a girl's back near a cliff, her hands are spread wide, her long hair is flying to along with  the wind, she is wearing this

now we can see the her face her eyes are closed gently and a beautiful smile on her lips, it looks like she is welcoming the warm air to touch her and she is enjoying the every moment of it , its KRIPA

boy: di this is cheating har bar app mujhse pehle kaise atey yaha

 

kripa turns around, her hands on her hips

 

k: kyun ki main tujhse badi hun

 

boy: app jarrur koi short cut se aye honghey

 

K: bobby harr manle aur choclate dhedhey, she forwards her hand

 

bb: appse phir  kabhi raise nahin laghavungha

 

K: oh tho thu har rooz kehtha hey chal ghar chaltey hey

 

kripa takes the choclate from her bro and they start going back

 

bb: di chaliye ajj main apse aur ek bet lagatha hun, I am sure iss bar main hi jithungha

 

k: kabhi hun kya ki kripa bet har jaye

 

bb: lekin abb jarrur hogha

 

k: pehle tho bhol na

 

bb: ajj rath ko app akheli vuss purani cottage hey na, vaha sirf panch minute bithani hey

 

k: (shocked) arey vaha tho 50 years se koi bhi nahin rehtha hey, mujeh dada ne bathaya

 

bb: iska mathlab app darr ghaye naa, chalo abhi maan lijiye ki app bet harr ghayi hey

 

k: no way, main vaha javunghi

 

bb: chalo phir ajj rath key 10:30 bhaje ko

 

k: done

 

they head back home, we see a big mansion

 

gayathri sharma: kripa and bobby's mother, she is a house wife she loves her family and always ready to do anything for kripa and bobby

 

k: mama bahuth bhuk laghi hey, papa kaha hey

 

gayathri: papa ko urgent meeting thi,  tho Mumbai chale ghaye, kal subha ki flight hey unki 

 

k: kya driver ghaye vunke sath

 

g: nahin oh akhele chale ghaye

 

k: kya mama apko kithney bar samjhaya ki papa ek heart patient hey, unko akheley drive karna acha nahin hey

 

g: arey josh bhi ghaya unkey sath

 

k: what bhaiya kaise jasaktey , unnoney tho mujeh promise kiya ki kaal mere sath gumney chalenghey

and she rushes to her room

 

g: josh sirf vune airport main drop karney ghaye hey, kaal subha thak ajayenghey

its 10:20 PM

 

bb: yaad hey na didi apko kya karna

 

k: arey abhi dus minute bakhi hey, hum jarrur jayenghey

at 10: 25 PM 

 

k: mama main radha ke gahr jaa rahi hun

 

g: iss waqt

 

k: oh kya hey radha ki ek friend ki birthday hey, tho vuss birthday party main jaa rahi hun

 

g: jaldhi anna

 

k: mama app bhi na , main kaal subha ajjavunghi

 

then kripa and bobby goes to radha's house as planned

 

radha is waiting for them

 

radha: kripa's best friend, when ever kripa comes for summer holidays to her dada's house she spends most of the time with radha

 

radha, kripa and bobby goes to the old building,

 

ra: kripa thu jaa, hum log naa tere liye yehi gadi main rehenghey, aur ye le torch

 

k: thanks

 

kripa slowly goes towards the building the whole place is quite and the only sound that can be heard is of her payal, as she is getting near to the building she starts shivering

 

k: to herself, kripa cool down, kuch nahin hogha sirf panch minute ki tho bath hey you can do it

saying that she goes and opens the gate, cottage door was a little open so she peeps inside

 

she sees a person totally covered with dust and he is struggling to get something off

 

person: arey kadi kadi vaha kya kar rhai hey jaan, come and help na

 

k:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA bhooth

 

person turns around  and kripa in a shock throws the torch at the person but it missed it and the light is gone

 

person can still see kripa's face in the moon light he is mesmerized by her beauty,

 

k: bhooth bhooth

 

person: hey main bhooth nahin hun, listen lady

 

kripa is running (we can't see the

person's face due to no light) into the woods towards the car while running her payal fells down, person follows her but he missed her, but his eye cought something shinny, its kripa's payal he picks it up now we can see the mans face in the moon light he is ANGAD  

 

a: holding the payal in his hand , she is beautiful

------------------------------------------------------------



Edited by sweety223 - 03 November 2006 at 11:00am

Dark Love

IF-Rockerz

Dark Love

Joined: 19 June 2006

Posts: 9555

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 11:19am | IP Logged
cool part! Tongue umm title, title, title, at the moment i am clueless........do u have like a concept or something...maybe that will help.....all the good ones are taken// Smile

Anandhini

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Anandhini

Joined: 05 July 2005

Posts: 916

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 11:24am | IP Logged

concept:
kripa never  back to mumbai
angad is already engaged but now he thinks he likes the girl(kripa) who he saw in the moon light and the remaining story goes around how they meet again and fall in love

sweety



Edited by sweety223 - 03 November 2006 at 11:25am

griffy.fz

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griffy.fz

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Joined: 18 January 2006

Posts: 5055

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 11:26am | IP Logged
how abt innocent love or ek pyaari si lovestory Wink

Dark Love

IF-Rockerz

Dark Love

Joined: 19 June 2006

Posts: 9555

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 11:39am | IP Logged
thanx for the conept now its going to be easier....umm....ek ladki anjani si..lol LOL ....uhh...Love At First Sight...these are lame...my brain isn't working...lol.umm....Sirf Tum Ko Chaha Confused ...umm i was listening to the song: I Just Wanna Spend from Neal n' nikki but that would be tooo long...

Edited by erier101 - 03 November 2006 at 11:41am

Chotii

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Chotii

Joined: 01 August 2006

Posts: 2434

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 11:48am | IP Logged
hey awesome start!! i'l definetly b readin dis ff of urs as well as Silence, n erm, i liked 'griffinmonster's idea - innocent love.. i think thats a nice title but other than that im not sure.. wots a nice title.. sowii but plz keep continuin cos d ff's briliant so far..! xxx
xx Saz xx

mannat.urwish

IF-Dazzler

mannat.urwish

Joined: 23 May 2006

Posts: 2690

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
awsome fic Clap Clap Clap
i also think that innocent love is a nice title.ummmm other than that pehli nazar,tumhe jo maine dekha(i was listning the song frm main hoon na so i thought so),deewana kar gayi.i can't think anything right now
cont soon Smile Smile Smile

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