IshRa SS - His Gift | For Kavya | Complete; Index Updated - Page 2

C h a p t e r 3 - T u  J o  M i l a 

"You're late," her voice echoed through his hotel room as he entered the room he had occupied for a couple of days.

Illusion.

Only he did find her sprawled on the bed, watching a collection of movies as she gorged on the weirdest selection of food one could have.

"It's good you're back, I really didn't want to spend the night alone in an unknown city," she muttered. "It's creepy."

He had taken a moment to breathe her in as he then moved to lie besides her, pulling her closer to him whilst inhaling her scent. She was here, with him.

"Age really does turn you'll around, doesn't it," she chuckled. "Any more of this and I'll think of you as my Raj. Bahut pange karne padenge!" she laughed.

"You sound amused," he chuckled, quite amused as well to find her in one of her rare moods.

"Of course I am," she smiled. "I'll be living with a 40-year-old," she said matter-of-factly, "I'm amused, you're old."

That wiped the grin right off his face. She watched the smile vanish of his face. "I'm joking, you still my Raavan Kumar," she said as she grabbed a snack.

"My gift?" he asked her.

She grinned at him, winked, and moved closer. "I'm your gift, Mr. Bhalla," she said. "We can get as kinky as you like."

"And if I say no?"

"We'll find you another one." She said moving away. She hadn't flinched or looked away. Just disappointed.

"I want a gift," he said firmly. "I want you!"

"I want to you - I want you to smile again, I want you to breathe, I want you to confess, to talk, to believe, to hope, to let go and to love. I want you to love Ishita, I want you to love me."

He fell back on the bed, adjacent to her as she turned off the television. She breathed in as the room was suddenly burdened with silence. Heavy, unwanted silence plagued by unheard desired and unsaid needs. He watched from the corner of his eyes as she crumbled and fell fall back on the bed unable to stand. He watched her eyes well up with unshed tears and it broke him to realize that he was the cause of her hurt. But what about the hurt she caused him? What about his heartbreaking every time he was plagued by question if she was indeed unhappy with him.

"But I am with you," she whispered.

It had taken him a moment to realize that his doubts had been stupid as were his allegations; but then then in them was childish need to be validated. He wanted to know he made her happy, he wanted to know she was happy, he wanted to know if she loved him - if she desired him, if she wanted him and if she needed him. He wanted to know if he made her feel loved. He wanted to know if she was happy - truly happy. He wanted to know so many things about her and time wasn't on their side.

'That's my jinx,' she confessed, crawling on the floor and hugging her knees. "That I love and I love too much, that I fall hard and harder than anyone else. That it's deeper and that I crave for more. And that scares the other person. And they leave. They leave me behind to be this crumbling self-loathing mess. You don't understand that. You don't understand what it's like to give it your all and be pushed aside. Just because you weren't pretty enough, weren't good enough, weren't nice enough. You don't know what it's like to look in the mirror every morning and feel to ugly to show up elsewhere. To hover over counters to hide the blemishes. You do not know what it's like to he an embarrassment, to be an obligation, to be an object or equivalent to it. You don't know what it feels like to be abandoned over a flaw and how that breaks you apart.'

"I loved him," she whispered. "So much, I never thought I could live without him. But I did. I woke up every morning, dragged my self out of the door and back in but I survived. I can't do that with you. I can't have you leave me. I can't have you abandon me," she looked away tears running down her cheeks. "It will kill me," she gazed. "That's how much I love you."

He had seated himself besides her as her silence answered the rest of what he was to know. It couldn't be explained how in one moment and in one confession she had pushed his needs, wants and desires. He couldn't fathom or explain how she managed to do that. Erase his entire universe in the matter of seconds. But she did that, she filled all that was him with what was her. And he loved that. He loved how she completed him.

"I won't leave, ever," he whispered over and over as he cradled. He wouldn't narrate to her how he didn't care for her flaws for he didn't see any in her. He would show her, and he would wait for her to realize that. No matter how long he took, he would make her realize that he didn't care about anything but her well-being. That he loved her and he meant. He would show her how much he loved every moment she was with him, and then maybe one day she would realize that he wouldn't break her heart like the guy before him. That he deserved her. That he cherished her, trusted her and cared for her.

What he didn't realize was that she loved him, in her own. That unlike him, her love needed no words or expressions but was hidden in the little things she did for him. It was hidden in the moments she woke up in middle of the night to check on his water and if it needed refilling, to make sure that he was well covered. It was hidden in the way she let him love her. It was hidden in the way she cared for and loved his family. It was hidden in the love she had for their kids. It was hidden in planned encounters she had with him. It was hidden in her struggle to get home from work early to be home in time for him. It was hidden in her glares, her smile, her words of awe, in the rare grins she gave him. It was hidden in the way she made sure she was at her best for him. It was hidden all around him like fireflies lightening up his world and leading him to a better future. It was hidden in the undying care she showered on him that never died. Love wasn't expressed in routine "I Love You's" but in actions, thoughts and effort. It was expressed in her care, in her desire, passion and support for him. That she was right beside him when she needed him. It was hidden in her fears, in her hurt, in her cries and in her moans. It was hidden in her but it wasn't hidden. It was right there, in her womb.

"Happy Birthday, Papa," she smiled as she played with his hair in bed later night. Smiling at and tracing his features in awe wondering just how in her warped up destiny was she lucky enough to find and be with a man like him who was scarred yet so perfect to her.

She snuck a chaste peck on his lips and giggled at her jest. She placed right another one above the one she did as she heard him moan; their previous tiff long forgotten. She blushed and struggled to hide a smile as his arms snaked around her body, pulling her closer and above him as he captured her lips leading to a very eventful night. And she sighed as she permitted herself to give into the feelings she had once denied herself of for this man praying to all gods she had ever come across that he wouldn't be mad at her for denying him his child for three months. Six months, six fortunate months and they would be flung into a different future and how she loved the thought of it. She had him - her protecter, lover and guide - and that was all she needed in this lifetime.

Him.