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Women:Mom/wife/daughter v/s proffesional. (Page 2)

d_s_g_ Goldie

Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 1824

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 6:04am | IP Logged
• The labour force participation rate of women is 22.7%, less than half of the men's rate of 51.6%

this have given me a new thought,tht is women,participation in any proffesion given the value as it shud get??for example even in such a big industry like the bollywood industry,they speak so much abt a woman's liberty and stuff,but y is it always tht the hero is the main character of the film,even if the heroine is their always her character is dominated by a hero,specialy in mainstream films.In most daily soaps it is always seen the whole situation in a new light.The gud bahu remains at home,helpin her in-laws and if necessary cuttin all ties frm her own family.but it is tht woman who works outside,is senior to her husband in the job,is independant and not a house wife,wants to plan and wait before becomin the mom,is considered the vamp.y is it takin such a fuss of kiran bedi or women astronaut,is tht somethin abnormal,neways one side its gud.The new laws passed abt women rights,even 1 % doesnt affect rural women.

P.S.Thx mods for makin it a sticky.

sowmyaa IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 6:39am | IP Logged
1.     Well, for majority of suppression to women I think it has to do with financial dependency. Some might agree and some might not, but I think it is major reason for all women suppression apart from cultural barriers. I agree with you debo, things are changing and women have started to create their own identification, but majority of women are still identified by their parents, husband and children. I think if women have financial independence she will gain lot of confidence and voice to question her family for her "pehchan" in this world.

2.     Also, the way girls in India are brought up is that they are literally brain washed to worship her husband and commit herself entirely first to the family. I don't think there is anything wrong with this. I however think that reason for low divorce rates in India is also 'coz lot of women are not too outgoing and self centered which is really good for their family. However, they do not get enough credit for their work here.

3.     Other thing is we give lot of importance to society in our culture. What will society think or what will people think if my daughter or my wife will do such thing. Most of the men in India don't help in household chores 'coz what if my neighbor sees me doing laundry and helping my wife. It would be like end of the world !!! isn't it?? Angry Like you said, if women work "people" will say that she is not good parent or good mother. Why should we care so much about "people". I think when we give way too much importance and unneeded importance to "people" say in our life it's not good.

4.     Also, the last reason I think is women herself is not sometime confident and brave enough to ask for her rights and her stand in family and society. It's like when they say "Mange bina to maa bhi khana nahi deti" – Mother also can't know that you are hungry unless you ask for food. (I really don't believe in this, but it's a phrase) Confused
pure_choclate Goldie

Joined: 18 March 2006
Posts: 2408

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 3:31pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Snape

this is true for every culture. example : we use 'hillary clinton' not 'hillary rodham clinton'
women are usually identified by their father/husband/son ( in various stages of their lives) as they become their 'protector' . But even if a women isnt working, she has the right to maintain her own identity. Just because some women are dependant in their lives, other people try to claim on their name . But being a working person doesnt mean one is not a good parent. If that were true, most guys in the world would lose the right of calling themselves 'good parent.' Fathers work to earn money for their family true, but it's the women( if housewife) who spends it to take care of the child. If the women is working, then she too earns money which she can plan to spend for her children

i agree i say the same though

keshp15 Senior Member

Joined: 05 March 2005
Posts: 604

Posted: 03 November 2006 at 10:15pm | IP Logged

Hey guys, how are you all,Smile

Hey Mithili,

Very nice poem.Big smile

Seeing women as someone who ALWAYS live for others and Never for Themselves enrages me to the core.Ouch

It is horrible as to how women through eons have been treated by the societies they live in and most importantly how they are treated by their own Families!Ouch

A person has no one to turn to other that their family members, but those whom we turn to are themselves giving their support to someone else, what are you supposed to do.ConfusedDead

Before living up to the society, it is inportant to live up to yourself and that cannot be accomplished unless you earn signity and self-respect for yourself. There is nothing wrong with forming pillars for yourself with your own effort and the new generation's women are putting their carrer as a foremost priority.Clap


Let me know what you guys think,Smile

Love KPSmile

jasmine_anih Senior Member

Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 701

Posted: 04 November 2006 at 9:14am | IP Logged

Originally posted by Debo_13

A woman when she is small are dominated by her parents,later by her husband and henceforth by her sons,she always gets the identity of "she is the Mrs.of mr. so-and-so" or " and so's daughter/mother"but rarely do we see  tht a woman has her own identity.even today when the world is said to be so advanced,majority of the population although enjoy watching independent free casual gals outside in the road,but its is only the reserved,"sushil" woman who stay in the house considered the adarsh nari.Husband's feel insecure when their wife is sucessful,parents r angry when they see their daughter talkin to a guy,or even it makes the children angry,when they dont find their mothers always behind them.A woman who is financialy independant,has a firm stand on the ground,and not dependant on neone else.People say tht if a woman works,she is not a gud parent or mother,but is her life only bouned by relations and not her own life??

As teenager, I would have agreed with you statements.  As a married woman with a child, I beg to differ. I would say life can be different but the responsibilty lies with us as women to define our roles.  

Before I had my daughter, I worked in Risk Management and made more money than my husband.  I do not think my Husband is less intelligent than I nor does he get threatened by my earning potential.  A year after my daughter was born I choose to stay at home with her.  I could have hired  a nanny and continued to work but I was not satisfied with the way another person was raising my child.

I have been a housewife for 3 years.  I still make every descision when it comes to finance (purchasing a home, car, retirement planning)in my household  my husband and I may discuss issues.  But  ususally the actuall descision comes down to my yes or no. But I am lucky because my husband considers my intelligence a sign of our strength as a couple. He once said to me since I know you take care of all the finance matters I can concentrate on income. He thinks of us as a power couple.

I think we as mothers, sisters, and daughters need to encourage the idea that smart woman in is not liablity but is a strength. If we stop buying the image of a traditional homemaker as an ideal woman than it will stop selling. If we tell our brothers and son to marry women who can add good family values and  but also miake sound financial desicisions life will be easier for them also. It takes time but it is possible.

In fact, I married into a well off traditional joint family and both my sasur and chacha sasur will ask for my advice on the stock market and they always try to encourage me to go to work or study.  Both of their wives are very homely. And no my mother in law does not give me a hard time. She is very understanding. Just my two cents.

nishi IF-Dazzler

Joined: 16 June 2004
Posts: 3192

Posted: 04 November 2006 at 10:37am | IP Logged
a women can be a wife / daughter /mother and a thorough professional at the same time !!! only thing she shouldnt mess/mix up her professional and personal lives !!!!! its all how she handles the situation !! but at the same time it also depends on the environment she is in ... i.e if ppl arnd her as in her parents / siblings / husband are supportive , then she can reach great heights !!!! but we hardly see such cases but its not that we don see them at all !!!!!
and its utter crap to say working women don make good parents !!! many instances can be shown when the mother is the sole bread earner of the family and she is a good parent too ...... and to say that a woman shouldnt be given freedom wasnt ever told by a woman ....... these rules are made by men and are changed by men for their own benifits , so why shud a woman suffer ??? she should live by rules which are set up by her and not someone else .....
IdeaQueen IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 August 2006
Posts: 3150

Posted: 18 February 2007 at 1:12am | IP Logged
Any new views!!
Too_Much IF-Rockerz

Joined: 19 November 2005
Posts: 6981

Posted: 18 February 2007 at 4:16am | IP Logged
actually i have not read complete topic but hope my views are related to topic.. Big smile

If a woman is working people might say she is not a good the same way if she is a house wife then also there are few who will tell she is not a good daughter in law Tongue for every thing it depends how we see and react.

"for every advantage there is a disadvantage."

now a days people are not so interested in seeing where there life is going but will keep a track abt others life..

I feel that if a woman gets a feeling that what ever she is doing is wrong she will correct it..this nature is not in every one. and i feel this is the strongers quality which woman has.


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