Maelstrom- A SwaSan One Shot - Page 6

Originally posted by: anu91

Awe!!! no words dear...hats off dear. ...

My mind started to imagine...how it will b if the same sequence in the show...

U described it so well dear...

Fantastic update...

Originally posted by: swa291

Hope something like thi had actually happened

This is so beautiful !!!!! Loved it !!

Originally posted by: nisha_hc_bs_dd

This is so beautiful !!!!! Loved it !!

Originally posted by: tootiefrootie11

Thanks so much for this Anu and I am really really sorry I forgot to PM you! I was so tired by the time I finished, I couldn't keep track- I'll remember next time! 

Shruti i'm so happy that you are back with another story on SwaSan 🤗
You penned it down so well. It was really very realistic, it seemed as i was watching it on the tv 👏
Sanskar was depicted in a magnificent way! You have portrayed his emotions, insecurities so well. Ohmygod simply brilliant 😳
I really loved the jealous Sanskar in front of Laksh 😆
The last part was perfect <3 When Swara asks him to not leave her alone with Laksh. Haye kash kuch eesa serial mein bhi Swara keh de
It was a marvellous story Shruti 🤗 Thank you for writing this 😳
Edited by Smilelicious - 8 years ago

Originally posted by: tootiefrootie11

Oh wow! That's an amazing compliment! I too have the same issue with poorly written English so am relieved you think I pass that test 😊. Your embarrassing me but am so glad you liked it and could especially relate to Sanskaar- needless to explain how obsessed with him I am 😳.

What's your name btw?  Oh and I am sure you write well too? Have you written anything? I'd love to read! Let me know if you have x

Originally posted by: Smilelicious

Shruti i'm so happy that you are back with another story on SwaSan 🤗
You penned it down so well. It was really very realistic, it seemed as i was watching it on the tv 👏
Sanskar was depicted in a magnificent way! You have portrayed his emotions, insecurities so well. Ohmygod simply brilliant 😳
I really loved the jealous Sanskar in front of Laksh 😆
The last part was perfect <3 When Swara asks him to not leave her alone with Laksh. Haye kash kuch eesa serial mein bhi Swara keh de
It was a marvellous story Shruti 🤗 Thank you for writing this 😳

Originally posted by: -Prithi-

awesome OS

Hey Shruti...sorry for my late comment on this as I've been catching up with lots of stuff I missed while on travel last week.

I really liked this piece. 👏 Wish the scene in the serial had delved a bit more into the "face off" involving these 3, rather than side track it almost entirely to prepare the ground for the Ragini expose. (Discussion we need to have for another time---why are they rushing tracks so fast in the serial?? 😊)

I loved the way you brought out Sanskaar's emotions here. His frustrated feelings of love and longing for Swara, his resentment, slight animus and jealousy towards Lakshya (completely understandable). I liked the bit where he sees the longing in Lucky's eyes, and feels a bit angry/ possessive at that.

And this para of yours: ""How he wished he could walk over to her and secure her in his arms, gently smooth those creases away from that smooth forehead and kiss that beautiful face until it was flushed from pleasure, rather than from unwonted embarrassment that had only came into play between them in force since recent events and consolidated by their marriage today. He wanted to absorb her pain and grant her solace and peace- just as she had done for him not long ago.""

That spoke volumes of Sanskaar's emotions for Swara. Man, when will that lady realize?

I also really liked the bit where Sanskaar decides not to torture himself and says he is going out for a bit so Swara and Lucky can talk in private. That whole stretch: his seeing the relief and hope in Lucky's eyes and immediately looking at Swara to see if she is feeling the same; and his sheer, almost disbelieving happiness when Swara rushes to him, to ask him to stay!

I wish they actually showed this in more detail in the serial: Swara's awareness of Sanskaar's pain, at whatever they went through together, the sacrifices he's made for her.


Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 8 years ago