Ponder-isms

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around

several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't

people from Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's

a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy

adultery?

5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts",

and you put your two cents in, what happens to the

other penny?

8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a

broker?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's

just stale bread to begin with.

10. When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it

say?

11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a

pianist but a person drives a race car not called

a racist?

12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

14. Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety one"?

15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in

the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the

longest sentence?

16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,

doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,

tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call

it Fed UP?

18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

19. What hair color do they put on the drivers

licenses of bald men?

20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the

Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it

dawned on me . .they're cramming for their final exam.

21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies

with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what

do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in

the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to

them? Why don't they just put their pictures on

the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them

while they delivered the mail?

23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then

what exactly are the others here for?

24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to

drive.

25. No one ever says, "It's only a game", when their

team is winning.

26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would

be if it didn't zigzag?

27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.

The mime next door went nuts.

28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

30. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby

oil come from?