FEW THINGS LEFT UNSAID:Rajveer Naina ff for LRL lovers.lu:25-6 P 108 - Page 5

part 11:

Naina was feeling so weak.she was unable to stand up..al she could do was to turn her head and say RAJ!!!! she was unable to say anything more..no feelings no emmotions were comming to her mind..no quary no reseonance no expectayions nothing..

just a few mints ago her life was meaningless,no reason to live,no reason to enjoy,even she had lost the reason to cry too..

but now.watching him infront of her she just wanted to see him...as if the world has come to an end.nothing to gain nothing to loose.just to watch the face,ohh the eyez, and the lips,that nose...its him.that was enough for her.nothing to pray for from the God...now she has him,she has everything...

and the tears just was flowing and flowing and flowing...

Raj was watching this all with so intense look..and now he couldnt controle his emmotions and hold her hand and making her satnd he put her in his strong arm as if noone can seprate her from him now.now Naina began to cry loudly.now she can feel her heart it beating so fast and loud.now she can feel his heartbeat too..she can feel her head buried in his strong chest..she can feel her arms are tied around his strong body.now she can feel his worm body against her..ohhh..this feeling is like she is in the heaven.no sorrow no pain can touch her now because now she have him,to protect her from all difficulties..
suddenly she feels something on her solder..what is it..now her hearing power is coming back..so much noice out there..but that one voice she can clearly hear was which Raj was saying her. PLZ DONT CRY..SEE I AM HERE NOW.U KNOW NA MAIN TUMHARI NAINYO ME YEA ANSHU NHI DKH SAKTA...
NAINA...

hearing that name from the person made her cry even more..

now raj lifted her head up with his hand and tried to weap off her tears.

MERI NAINA AHH SINGH ITNI BHI KAMJOR NEHI K WO KHUDKO SAMBHAL BHI NA PAYE..raj tries to cheer her up,but his voice was shaking and throte was chocking as he was also in the same state of mind after meeting her face to face after so so long.

KAHAN CHALE GAYE THE AAP MUJHE CHORKE...and she started crying again...

SHHH SH SHHH...MAIN SAB BATAUNGA..AUR MUJHE YAKEEN HAI K TUM MUJHE JAROOR SAMJHOGE,MERI MAJBURI YO KO SAMJHOGE..BAS PLZ DONT CRY..I CANT TOLRATE TEARS IN UR EYES...
I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR THAT.HASTE HASTE JAAN BHI DE DUNGA.


puting a plam on his lips. KHABARAR JO PHIR MUJHE CHORKE JANEKE BAREME SOCHA BHI TOO...ISS BAAR MAIN SACHME APNI JAAN LE LUNGI..an agrassive Naina warns Raj..

showing the cute careing a smile automatically came on Rajs face ABHI TAK WO HI AGGRETION..HUDA TUMHR THIK HI BULATA THA phoolan...

hearing this Naina smiles a little..but not that smile which she is known for.

"WAISE kisine apko bataya ki...aap iss sharee me,i mean yea sari aap pe,i mean...tum iss sharee main bahut achi laag rhi ho.u r looking ammizing..."raj said with a big smile...

Now...Naina blushed..a complete smile..when she was getting ready for the day she had no idea why to get ready for.she had no one to show for..but now she is feeling so happy after the compliment..she was happy again..

"And thats the best jewlry to compliment you in ur this look...ur smile jo ankho tak pahuchti hai...sach kahun naina..har roj tum mere dreams me aate the..behat hi jyada khubsurt lagte the...lakin...aj you are looking at ur best...bahut kuch soch k aya tha k tum ayse dikhoge waise dikhoge..pata nhi kaise dikhoge..par..aj jo tumhe aise dekh liya...itne salon se tumhe na dkhne ka jo pyaas thaa ek pal me chala gaya..kaise kar lete ho yea magic?"raj was not stoping to compliment her..now he knows he has lost enough time in thinking wht will others think..but now that he knows she was his everything he is not afraid of letting her know what exactly his mind feels about her...

NAINA was overwhelmed to hear such compliments...she only could mannage to do was to make some surprize look and blush blush and blush..

Ohhh.how relived she was feeling now..finally..she was aging ZINDAAA. She was againg finding a meaning to live.she started loving life again...she hav had her love again with her...

Now she is the happiest person in the earth as she hav him with her...

till now she was in the 7th cloud away from the surrounding.there was only she and her Raj..they were together again.he was just infront of her sight..that was the end of the world for her...
Then the time came when she had to brought back to the reality world...
Till now she was there hugging him tightly.now as she brought bak to sences she became akward and loosen her grip.standing in front of him she felt a little shy..and oh yes she was still blushing..yes she had so many ques to ask to him,so many complns to shoot..but as of now she was more than happy and satisfied to have him back in her life..

"Toooh...now can we join the ceremony?"raj asked politely..

Shy naina nooded to agree..

They both went to the place where Alekh and nilu just stand up for the PHERE..seeing Raj all the friends present there were litterelly shocked.raj nooded to Alekh and abhi and then rest of them..he can sence their quarries GUYS I WILL TELL EVERYTHING BUT NOW JUST LET THE FUNCTION END...
but no one could say anything in its support or against..they got 440 volt...they couldnt even dare to hug him to show some mannarism..

And our Dulhe raja...he was just smilling at the scene..and when Naina'S eyes met with him he make a fece which clearly says DEKHA...naina didnt say THANK YOU as it would be a sarcasm infront of what he had done for her.she only showed gratitude and thanked god for giving her a friend lik him...
And alekh..though he was getting married but there was some part which was unhappy to see his friend in that condition.but now...he is completely happy..its a prefect day for him.his love is with him and his best friend is al over happy again..

They start the phere of SAT BACHAN SAT JANAM WADA...raj and naina were looking at each other and exchanging smile every now and then.and eyes were talking...

But the rest of them...they hardly were concern about what was going on around..they couldnt withdraw their concentration from the person who was standing in front of them..after so many years...it was him..there mentor,their path finder ...he is back...but how...no one has a clue of what was going on...


Ok guyz...thats all for today,
Let me tell you.i have no idea of where the story is going.just writing anything which is comming in my mind..dont have any sketchs ready yet..feelinh so lost...if possible u can help me by saying what u want or how u want the story to go...wheather to end it quickly or to contnu it.plz gyz hlp me...felling creazy..

Lov,
Gargy
Edited by gargy4u - 8 years ago

Woah girl! Breath! Relax... You are doing good!😃 I liked the Raj Naina interaction! Their meeting was emotional and lovely. Now that they have met after so long things cannot exactly be all done! their love story isn't really complete just by meeting... because remember their last moments together before the Car accident? Raj loved her and was clear about his feelings, even though he could never show them. But Naina on the other hand was completely clueless about what Raj felt for her and She was even more oblivious to her own feelings for him. She had only started realising that she might be feeling something more than just respect and friendship for him.She confessed she loved him only after he was presumed dead. So even though they have had a very emotional reunion things are going to be a bit difficult, meaning they would not know how to act around each other now that the situation is completely different than what it was years ago... Thats your challenge! Bridging that gap between falling in love' and living happily ever after'... Now they will learn more about each other, learn to be around each other... Now they will make moments together... Now the sparks will fly between them... because unlike last time, they now know what they feel... there should be some confessions... Plus What was Raj doing all this while? Put in some nice Spy story stuff in 😉 Remember how the entire Triggers-Dr. Ritu Mishra-the spy had made things interesting in the serial? and how we enjoyed watching our super RN team fight all the problems that came their way? Make a new villain if you like... spice it up a bit! 😉

Originally posted by: passiflora4eva

Woah girl! Breath! Relax... You are doing good!😃I liked the Raj Naina interaction! Their meeting was emotional and lovely. Now that they have met after so long things cannot exactly be all done! their love story isn't really complete just by meeting... because remember their last moments together before the Car accident? Raj loved her and was clear about his feelings, even though he could never show them. But Naina on the other hand was completely clueless about what Raj felt for her and She was even more oblivious to her own feelings for him. She had only started realising that she might be feeling something more than just respect and friendship for him.She confessed she loved him only after he was presumed dead. So even though they have had a very emotional reunion things are going to be a bit difficult, meaning they would not know how to act around each other now that the situation is completely different than what it was years ago... Thats your challenge! Bridging that gap between falling in love' and living happily ever after'... Now they will learn more about each other, learn to be around each other... Now they will make moments together... Now the sparks will fly between them... because unlike last time, they now know what they feel... there should be some confessions... Plus What was Raj doing all this while? Put in some nice Spy story stuff in😉Remember how the entire Triggers-Dr. Ritu Mishra-the spy had made things interesting in the serial? and how we enjoyed watching our super RN team fight all the problems that came their way? Make a new villain if you like... spice it up a bit!😉

Btw I feel part 10 seemed a little bit rushed towards the end... Why? Like I'ev said before, take it a little easy... Kya hua tha? writer's block? 😊You are doing a nice job and I would suggest you to continue... If you need suggestions, your readers are more than happy to help you.

I would Love to read more!

Do update soon!😃

Cheers

U r a gem reader.thnq for the support and al the time u r ready to help by every possible way..thanq soo much..i wl try my best to updt with some twist and turns
Lov,
Gg

Okkk..so keeping it a little easy...ohhh gosh..its so hard to think...not at al my forte...any ways..lets try...

Part 12:

alekh and nilu completed the phere,mang bharai and tieing the mangalsutra...
During these time the rest of the friends could heardly enjoy the function and were stand still...except one..
Huda couldnt stand there and rushed to the back yard of the lawn..he was not happy at all with what was happening there..anyone can see it on his face...
He punched on a tree..tears rolled down his chick...
WHY WHY WHY...WHY HAS IT HAVE TO HAPPEN..Y..AFTER SO MANY YEARS..CAPT RAJVEER WAS SURELY A GREAT MENTOR AND TEACHER..HE WAS ALWAYS THERE WITH US..I ADMIRE HIM VERY MUCH..AND SEEING HIM ALIVE WOULD DEFFINIATELY MAKE ME HAPPY..BUT...AGAIN HE IS THE SAME PERSON FOR WHOM I CANT HAVE MY FOOLAN..I CANT HAVE MY LOVE,CANT EXPECT MY LOVE TO LOVE ME BACK...ITS ALL BECAUSE OF HIM..WHY HE HAS TO RETURN AGAIN..AFTER HE WAS GONE AT LEAST THERE WAS A CHANCE OF HAVING MY LOVE AGAIN IN MY LIFE..Y MUMMINI Y...WHY HE HAS TO CAME AGAIN..i really lov u phoolan.and i can do anything to have u back to my life...AGAR JARURAT PARE TOH..."weeping the tear Huda prepared himself for the upcomming chalenges..and he headed towrds the function..

all tge rituals were finished and tge newly wed couple were taking everyone's blessing...nilus parents blessed them a long happy prosprus life..all the friends hugged them and wish for a happy marrd life..Naina huged alekh and wish him to take care of himslf and nilu..she was happy...alekh said TU AISE HI HANSTE RAHA KAR..ACHI LAGTI HAI.. then the couples reached to raj and was about to touch his feet but he stops them and huged them and wished a great live with eachother..then they did all the rituals and sat on the car to head towrds Alekh's home...
Meanwhile the group was becoming a little bit normal and accepted the fact of Rajs existance..they all headed towrds Alekhs house except Yudi..due to some tardition he was nt allwd to go to his newly married sis's house that n8..it was surely hrd for him to keep himself away from the story...but does he hs any choice...

So after they reach the house all sat in the drawing room making a circle..and raj began to narrate what had happend to him for lst 3 years...

Accha to aj hum chalte hai.. phir kal sochenge...flnng slpy...goodn8..
Lov gargy
Edited by gargy4u - 8 years ago

wow wonderful part
raj naina r together
jo emotions dekhaye h raj naina ke bech its beautiful
i love the conversations btw raj naina
sab shadi chod ke raj se milne ja rahe the
but raj ne sabko rok liya

huda kahi koi problem na create kare
ek wohi h jo raj naina ko saath dekh kar khush nhi h
alekh is best



love naina

Originally posted by: meenuraj97

wow wonderful part
raj naina r together
jo emotions dekhaye h raj naina ke bech its beautiful
i love the conversations btw raj naina
sab shadi chod ke raj se milne ja rahe the
but raj ne sabko rok liya

huda kahi koi problem na create kare
ek wohi h jo raj naina ko saath dekh kar khush nhi h
alekh is best



love naina

Thnq dear...abhi to bus suruwad h...aur alekh..bst frnd fr evr

Guyz i hav collaged one pic of rn with the title FEW THINGS LEFT UNSAID. Plz check it on my twetr [email protected] dont knw how to updat it here..if u know plz tel me the process...

Good Going Girl!👏


Edited by passiflora4eva - 8 years ago

Originally posted by: passiflora4eva

Good Going Girl!👏

See? That was the spice I was talking about!!!!!

And this update was perfect in the description and detail... I could picture the Huda scene in my head so easily... that is how its supposed to be!👏the pace that you used while writing the Huda scene was very proper!

You were worrying for no reason. You did well!

You know I could still see Huda doing something like that despite of few years gap between now and then... I liked the way you explained why he feels, what he feels via his thoughts...

He is not bad at heart but he can be easily misled. Apparentlygood sense and logic eludes him completely when it comes to his beloved Phoolan. 😆Lol...I'm glad you stayed true to his character. Cannot wait to see what he does next! His attempts to take back what he thinks is his. Now he is no more a Cadet but an officer like his Rival. Plus the fact that there is nothing to hold Rajveer back now that he is no longer their teacher might make Huda desperate to act. Romance toh hai hi... Let there be suspense and Drama! Action baad may aramsay add kar lena...😉

Now just a small suggestion, something to keep in mind. You could totally skip this part if you like 😉...Remember that when you are adding twists and turns to your story, add one thing at a time. Never try to cram up too many things in a few lines. If you have a very big update you may still have the liberty of showing may be 2 twists in one update(actually depending on the size). But not more, otherwise too many things happening at the same time in a few lines, just ends up confusing the readers. And you WANT your twist to stand out, you do not want it to be so part of the rest of the story, ki kab aaya aur kab gaya pata bhi nahi chale... You want your readers to keep in mind the important events that take place in your story as they go on reading, So always emphasise more on them, make it detailed. 😊

Update automatically lumba ho jaega..😉😛jokes apart just trying to help you take it easy...😊

I really liked this update!!! And please don't worry cause you are doing great!😃

and I'm looking forward to the next one!

Cheers

Nice suggetions..but that two twists i had to bring togther to maintn the timnng..and as alys.everytime u r soo encourgnn and suggstiv.thnks fr being there ..

Originally posted by: gargy4u

Nice suggetions..but that two twists i had to bring togther to maintn the timnng..and as alys.everytime u r soo encourgnn and suggstiv.thnks fr being there ..