Posted: 19 May 2015 at 8:39pm | IP Logged
Finally updating my comments n so sorry for the late unres And u updated even the 2nd part So I will give my comments on both the parts
I donno what makes u say this is not worthy It has to be one of the best pieces I have read in IF ever There is a saying - "Beauty lies in simplicity" and ur writing is proof of that Ur writing feels seamless and is soul stirring to say the least, transporting the reader into a world where the characters seem more real than oneself. The first part written from Nandini's POV is heartbreaking U can feel her despair, her pain. All she can see and feel is darkness. A darkness that stole her vision and a darkness that engulfed her soul. Never had she dreamt that her beautiful world filled with love, light and a promise of being together forever would one day become a burden for her. She saw her life slipping before her eyes until she could see no more. No one wants to be a liability on their partner. Relationship strives on balance and that was snatched from her. U want to love like u have been loved, u want to care for them the way they care for u. See ur world from the other's eyes and she could no longer be that for Manik. Its easier said than done when people tell u to swallow ur pain for the sake of ur loved ones and pretend everything is OK. But the truth remains that the mask will slip one fine day. There is so much to life that we take for granted we never consider the fact that even this may not last long and its not long before u begin to crave not for something that u wish u could posses but something u had but u have lost. Manik is concerned for her and he would go to any length to keep her from harm and this feeling which once used to suffuse warmth in her heart suffocates her now. That he can never have a life of his own just because her existence depends on his constant care and support. His sweet nothings which once used to delight her, prick her every time for she knows this was how her world was meant to be but she will never be able to feel any of that, no matter how hard Manik tries to retain that in their lives.
Manik tried everything possible to make life easier for her by shifting to a house that was custom made to ensure she never hurt herself but this only made Nandini feel more helpless. It was her home, their safe haven and someone else had to set it up. How ironic it would be when Nandini should have been the one to do up their place but someone else was doing it and that too to shield her. Now the place where she was living posed to be a threat for her when every home is meant to give you a secured shelter. Attending blindness classes to adapt to life should ideally make u feel normal and help u embrace ur disability but it is not easy to do that when u had that normalcy before in ur life.
The wonderful memories which one would recall fondly now left a gaping chasm of agony in her heart. It must have been for Nandini to relive them and realise she will never have them ever again. And her fireflies! She would never see them glow for her and Manik again. The fireflies that had always been a testimony of their true love. Manik assured her they glowed but they no longer glowed for her. How could she even place her faith in Manik when she had lost faith in hope? A hope that her fireflies lit for her everytime she saw them glow?
It hurt her more when she realised Manik was throwing away his life, his dreams just because she could not have a normal life. Destiny had snatched that from her but she hoped that perhaps Manik would live their dreams for both of them but instead he overlooked them for her. That broke her down. He wants nothing more than to take care of her, be with her to protect her even at the cost of missing out on everything else in life. That is a price he is willing to pay but that is a price Nandini would never let him pay. It was heartbreaking when Manik promised to get her back but all she wanted was to be his wife. A wife who could be his soulmate in true sense, shoulder the relationship like an equal. The love that had bound them was still there but it was lost to the despair that had gripped their lives like a parasite.
Manik's determination to bring back his Nandini like he promised touched my heart and I fell in love with this Manik of yours Nandini is lost but he will not let her be. The moment when he made her kiss him awake was really touching I have no words to describe it. Nandini's pain at not seeing him smile because her disease had snatched away every bit of happiness and Manik telling her that his smile lay in hers was another beautiful moment. The title of ur OS is perfect for ur story and I realised this when Manik let her be on her own. He chose not to be her crutch but her shadow. A shadow that will always accompany u wherever u go without letting u realise that ur not alone. He guided her this time so that she could find herself again. I am sure Nandini expected Manik to flat out reject the idea of her teaching the kids to sing but he surprised her yet again by agreeing without arguing on the pros and cons. Instead of worrying over her, he gave her the confidence to go on. He gave her the space she had been longing for promising to be there for her only if she needed him not because she could not do anything without him.
I also loved the scene where Nandini comes to the orphanage and gets familiar with her old life, familiar with the place that connected her to her love for music, to the kids who adored her. She knew Manik has stuck to his word but even though Usha confirmed his absence she knew somewhere in her heart that Manik was always around her.
Now coming to part 2, I donno which one I love most. Nandini's POV or Manik's One update emphasised despair and pain and the other hope. Manik had lived the nightmare with Nandini and though Nandini could no longer see, he saw with his own eyes the devastating impact her illness had borne on their lives. She had been his light, his shining star. When he was once surrounded by darkness, she had driven it away from him bringing not only light but also the love he had been deprived of all those years. Sometimes seeing the misery ur loved ones go through hurts u more than it hurts them. But u have to live with it, u cant even express it. How can u give hope to a person when ur breaking apart urself? Manik had to be strong for her, for them. He knew she missed seeing his smile but he made her feel it to assure her that what she held dear had not perished. And love the way he set things right for her before she could even realise it Every little thing that Manik did for her, every small action, it literally makes your heart swell. He was her shadow in the literal sense if Nandini had been his star. I could literally play out that orphanage scene in my head where the kids tease him and Nandini. So he has made a pact with them now has he? Awww... it was just And even though there is hardly any interaction between Manik and the little girl Usha one can feel their bond And though Manik let her feel independent he could not leave her side. I am so overwhelmed right now. He was with her yet he never let her feel that. If Nandini had seen his love through her eyes, he made her feel it. Made her realise that she will always be able to feel it. This story made me cry, it made me smile, both at the same time And the last time I felt this way was when I read 'And The Mountains Echoed' by Hosseini
I could probably use a dozen or more adjectives to say how I feel about ur OS, but at the end of the day they will be nothing more than bleak words for they will never suffice.
Just want to give u a hug for this and this story will stay with me for a long long time to come
Edited by FieryHeart - 20 May 2015 at 12:26pm