Hi FH, been seeing your posts everywhere since yesterday. Blame it on my laziness, till the time I read each of your posts dissecting and scrutinising Nandini's every action and reaction (past & present), somebody would have already replied to you and responded to all your points "justifying Nandini" even where Nandini didn't need any justifications.
^^Oh sorry, did I just make an assumption in the last line above, about Nandini's actions not needing justifications? When you have specifically requested the readers in your NOTE vv, NOT to assume.
NOTE: This could be a very long topic. So people who want to assume I made it to bash Nandini, I request you to atleast read it before bashing me. Else if u decide to skip it then atleast dont bash me without reading what I have to say. Its a humble request
Yes your topic was too long, my lazy bad I just didn't read all of it, just start and finish. My conclusion - you made this post to bash nandini, yes yes yes.
That would be called my presumption, my premature judgement of you, right?
Then what do we call your posts since yesterday? Even when I have seen people making such lovely detail posts/threads detailing and explaining the reasons behind each of nandini's actions, in yesterday's episode as well as in the past.
You just keep sticking to your own views, not making any effort even to relate to the emotional language.
So let me put Nandini's trauma (which you are trying to quantify and qualify since yesterday) in Factual terms instead of emotional. Don't know whether FACTS will make any difference but its become a compulsion for me now.
1) Universal fact - A highly personal traumatic encounter cannot be reduced to a calculus of objective parameters.
^^You are trying to do just that. Inspite of humbly requesting us to not presume, you yourself are trying to quantify the trauma which nandini went through at the hands of Pandit, according to your preconceived notions.
2) Trauma definition according to Psychological Association -Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, violence, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships.
^^And by the above, I am NOT "attempting or claiming to equate the kidnap with RAPE" NO! I am trying to equate it with VIOLENCE, which it was.
3) Delayed onset of trauma - Is Usually because of s subsequent event linked to the original source of trauma which in this case was getting justice and Pandit where he belonged = behind bars. Nandini emotionally numbed herself because she is what she is, the one who doesn't leave any chance to support the right even at the cost of her own shattered state of mind.
A) She was the brain behind Mukti's campaign.
b)She was the same behind Navya's college return campaign.
But what do we see, instead of being lauded for it, these campaigns are being thrown (<< Yes appropriate use of this term :) ) in her face just because the storyline has finally the character Nandini an outlet, a break, a chance to cave in, a chance to be something other than strong. Man, she has been strong for too long, been carrying just too much. Do we even stop to realise how mentally draining it is to be always curbing your primary instincts / reactions and going by the secondary impulse of good sense, of making the correct decisions, deciding on whats right and wrong for yourself and for everyone else? It takes a lot to be always upright on the pedestal, let Nandini kneel down for a second, let her catch her breath from the turmoil, plz.
3) Verified and documented Signs of Emotional Trauma (Do you see yesterday's Nandini in these below?)
a) Depression/spontaneous crying
b) The feeling of out of control, Panic attacks
c) Hypervigilance, jumpiness, extreme sense of being on guard, detachment << The instant reaction which she gave on Manik's touch when he tried to comfort her by placing his hands on her waist.
And by putting Manik's various touches from yesterday's episode in words, nobody means or intends to sound unapproving of his touch. Everyone knows that Manik was there to comfort her only, not to romance or physically caress her. Touching her is how he connects with Nandini ALWAYS, be it for him seeking strength (them holding hands), him comforting / soothing her (usually holding her face, lifting her chin, rubbing her shoulders and arms) or expressing his physical desire (all of these). Everyone knows he is there for her not for selfless or base reasons but because he loves her and wants her to speak out, lash out and let it all out what's eating her inside. Everyone includes Nandini too. The first flinching was because of her jumpiness.
d) Emotional / social / physical withdrawal, detachment - Her second and third flinching and running away instances from Manik's touch were because of this reason. She knows thats how he connects to her primarily, so she is shunning away and avoiding him holding her because she wants to shut herself, hide herself from the world including him. Reason coming below, if you be so kind to read on..
e) Inability to maintain close relationships, communication difficulties, withdrawal from normal routine relationships - The kidnap has shattered her, as explained above - she is all over the place. Not only is she not in one piece, neither emotionally nor psychologically but also she is crumbling, imploding bit by painful bit. At police station when everyone including chacha insisted her to go and rest at home, she didn't, why? Because she wanted to keep running away, in search of a seclusion where she can be alone with her demons, let them destroy her, prey on her because she wants to be consumed. Why?
f) Guilt feelings, detachment, frozen in time - She blames herself, persecuting herself, being harsh on herself because Manik was right about Pandit. While you say that before the kidnap, she came to know about riddhima and pandit's character too, so what pandit did afterwards shouldn't count. Why not? Just because I know that my teacher's character is not the pristine mirror I believed it to be, if he kidnaps me, ties me up hands and feet, gags me, manhandles me whichever way he wishes, should I not be shocked? Should I have seen the kidnap, abduction coming? Is abduction, kidnap, harrassment is what is universally associated with every grey character in society? No, her kidnap and the subsequent TORTURE that she went through in that garage is what Nandini never expected or saw coming just because Pandit is a bad man. In one instant, a relationship of teacher-student became that of abductor-abductee, of one with power while other was snatched of every vestige of it. What was it if not a shock was Nandini? Won't she need time, some days to first confront it, then let in her loved ones to heal her, in time to recover from it?
g) Dissociative symptoms (splitting off parts of oneself) - Like you say in your post, her believes, her values, of others and her own self, her opinions about herself, all got shaken up, all are in smithereens lying around her. She said to Manik "how can I be with you when I am so lost", because Manik is a part of her, her self, they are one and she is detaching from HER OWN SELF, so she is trying to detach, run away from Manik too because what is Manik if not a part of her. We term them as two halfs of one so this is what its about, by shunning manik, she is shunning and denying her own self. In time, with patience, Manik will bring her out of the chasm that she is whirling helplessly in but GIVEN TIME. For that. he needs to make her feel in control of herself, her surroundings, steady her blurring vision and make her feel that the ground she stands on is not shaking and opening up below her to bury her inside. The PRECAP was about this, Manik giving her the right to choose, making her/encouraging her/empowering her to take the reins of control, of her life back in her hands, to once again learn to make decisions so that she knows that its not her beliefs that betrayed her, its the circumstances that clouded her judgement and made her fall. Not necessarily she will always fall because she is not like that so she shouldn't blame herself for what badness exists in the world, not to be harsh on her own self.
Anyway, just tried to place some facts before you, in the hope that they appeal to your sense and sensibility and sanity prevails at all ends
Edited by -Sahar- - 13 May 2015 at 5:53am