After the 2nd night of my marriage with Manik, with so many doubts and fears I am avoiding him.I knew he was mad @ me and even that is justifiable but somehow i was not ready to be his wife in true senses..I dont know why but I needed time..
He was angry for 2 days and again he started his pleasing and teasing behavior to b back as Manik Malhotra.But he never tried to come near me even though we were sleeping on the same bed.We didnt go for honeymoon giving the reasoning of our jobs..
After 5 days every thing came to normal and we both joined our duties and now we both were living in the same house.I shifted to his house.
Before marriage only he took a two bedroom flat and arranged only the bed room.
All the rooms were empty.
He said "I felt only bed room will be useful for some days"
I laughed at his sense of humor.We both were like good friends now.We did shopping for the house together.
Most of the times our likes are not matching.He likes blue and I like pink. He likes non veg food I like vegetarian .He sleeps very late till 11 in the night and i sleep early. He wakes up very late and i prefer early. He likes english movies and I like Hindi movies. He likes cricket and news channels and I like cartoon channels or movies channels.
In the initial days we used to compromise but after one week we started quarreling for all these. He used to tease me. He used to tease me that I am short and round like apple. I used to tease him he is like the "Flag Rod". He says my nose is like knife and we don't need a knife in the kitchen, I say-his head is becoming like a play ground in few days so that children can play on that"
We used to watch lot of movies and discuss about that.
We both read so many books and fight on the issues.
We both fight on the issue of politics world cup match.
We fight on the issue of men and women;
we fight about salman khan shahrukh khan.
But at the end of every fight we both felt that our respect towards the other person increased more. At least I felt so. We forgot that we are married and we need to give birth to children or we need to satisfy each others sexual needs. I never felt a sexual need in his company.I don't know about him but he also never looked like that. We both met our friends and we went to parties.We were like best buddies living together unconditionally.It was a beautiful piece of relation that we shared..
After 2 months one day my boss said I need to go for a one week official tour to Banglore.
I was not able to say yes or no at that time.
But my boss said it is very essential that I must go.
That evening I told this to Manik @ the dinner.
He also kept quite.
I felt I don't want to leave him. But I don't know about him.
Is he angry or what? He did not talk anything that night.
Other wise every night he used to say some story about his childhood or his teenage love etc till we sleep. That night I thought it is better to go far from him.
Other wise I am becoming very close to him and I started loving him. When one day he leaves me I will suffer a lot.
So this gap is for my good only I thought. Next day is my flight. So I did not went to office, I am packing my luggage.
He went to office. I felt sad, that he is not coming to see me off to the airport.
"Why is he angry? Doesn't he like me to do my job? Or he is angry that I am going away? "
I am disturbed by his behavior.
But I ws very sad that I was going away and goddd I am falling in love with him.
I went alone to the airport and went to Banglore. I really waited for him till the last second at the airport. But he didn't come. I was booked a room in the hotel and I am alone. I went to the office where I have the work. I was busy till evening. But when I came back to the room. I felt all alone. There are no waiting for Manik, there are no fighting's, there are no witty jokes and talks, there are no laughs nothing in life I felt empty. I made a call to Manik, telling about the hotel and telephone number. He is still angry; I thought he will be happy to listen to my voice. But he answered very harshly.
He said-"why are u telling all this to me. You do what ever you like, you don't bother about me. When you don't bother about me why did you marry me?"
He is shouting in the telephone. I was shocked at his angry voice. I got angry immediately.
I also shouted-"I didn't marry you. You only married me. I already told you before to stop the marriage, if you want to blame for this marriage blame yourselves not me" I also shouted.
He said - Good then, why don't you Leave me then?
I said-I am waiting for this only, to listen this from your mouth... Ok if you don't want me why should I bother about you? I will not come to home. I will directly go to hostel. I said I will collect my luggage after wards.
He said "ok "and kept the phone. ...
I was blank... The person at the telephone is looking at me. I paid him the bill and came to room. I cried the whole evening. Did not have dinner. I felt like hell.
Why should I love him? I am really a waste fellow, fool. I will never get good mind. I believed Harshad and he cheated me, I knowingly started having feelings for Manik and he is very rude to me. Why the hell I need his sympathy? Does he think I am a rotten vegetable and he is saving my life? How disgusting, all men are devils. They all r same..One should never belive any man. Then what is the meaning of marriage? What to say to my parents now. Manik will say this entire story to the whole relatives.
My father will never talk to me in life. What my sisters and brother think of me? Till now I am the ideal person in their view. Every one will laugh at me. Ohhh my god!! What to do now? I cannot show my face to anyone. It's all Manik fault. He is taking unknown revenge on me. He should have not married me; I told him everything before marriage. I thought like this for all those 5 days. By 3rd day my anger has gone. I started missing him. I controlled myself so much not to make a call to him.
I have to stay one more day in Banglore. On the 5th day morning my father in law called me, I was enquiring about their health casually. He asked me where is Manik? I don't have any answer. I said he might be at home only.
He asked "r u both not in touch?"
I said "No, yes"
He said. "Manik's mobile is off since two days and he is not even going to office since 3 days".
I don't have answer. I am worried now. May be he left the place and left me forever. I am totally alone now. No one in the world. I have to answer all the people about what happened. He left me alone in this ugly situation. Men are like this... I am not even getting tears. That day I have a very important meeting, so I tried to keep my self cool. When we work out side we have no time to show our feelings and cry heart fully. And finally at the end of the meeting I came out at 7 o clock, the office secretary have a message for me. I have a visitor at the hotel waiting for me. I thought it would be my father in law. I am worried to face him. Its over every thing is over. Now all my self respect and all my proud is going to collapse. Office vehicle dropped me at hotel as every day. I entered the hotel and searched in the lobby for my father in law. He is not there. I asked in the reception about my visitor. She told that he just went out. I told her to send him to my room. I went to room. Washed my face and waiting for my father in law. The door bell rang, my heart jumped into my throat. I slowly prepared myself to face the situation and opened the door. Its not my father in law.
He is some one in beard.OH MY GOD!!!! He is Manik. But he has not shaved; he is looking like a sick person. What happened to him? Is he not feeling well, may be that's why he is not going to office. Ayyooo no one at home to take care of him. I thought all those things very fast.
I asked him to come in, I kept my hand on his fore head ,ohhh really its very hot. He got fever. I am a fool; I might have called him after that. He is suffering alone in the house. What a cruel fellow I am. I hated myself. He is so weak. He sat in the chair. I immediately ordered for milk. I asked him to lie down on the bed. He is not feeling well at all. I don't know how he managed till now. I asked the reception people to send a doctor immediately. Manik is moaning in weakness. I kept the cold water cloth on his fore head. I did watering all over his body, stomach, chest, face, hands and foot. After 15 minutes the temperature felt little bit low. The doctor came and he gave and injection. He said its normal fever and he is sooo weak. Doctor asked him when he had some food or drink. Manik was quite. I understood he has not eaten food last 3 days. Tears came out of my eyes. Doctor said "don't worry. Give him hot milk and some fruits" whole Night he is suffering with high temperature. I hated myself for not calling him for the last 4 days. I felt so touched to see him coming to see me when he is sick. I remembered that when ever I get fever in the hostel I used to go to my home, I feel secured there. Once I look my mother my fever will go away. Like wise, Manik came to me. He remembered me not his family. I felt very sorry.
I thought of sleeping near him, holding him in my arms. But I hesitated by remembering his words" why don't you leave me?"In the morning, when I opened my eyes, I saw Manik is sitting on the bed and looking at me. I was sleeping on the sofa. I said good morning. He smiled. I saw the temperature. It's normal. But he looks weak. I helped him to wash his teeth, I ordered for coffee. Meanwhile I got freshen up. We had coffee. We both are not able to talk. I only told him, father in law is worried about you, and I took his mobile and gave a call to my father in law. I told him he is fine and he is with me. Now we both are alone in the room.
Manik is not talking anything. I asked him, shall I inform office that I cannot come today;
he said "what does u think? You will leave me alone and go away from me?".
I said - you only asked me to leave you forever.
He said, I was angry that u did not ask me to come with you to Banglore.
Ohhh God. Its Misunderstanding. He wanted to come with me, so he was angry and told like that. It gave me so much of relief, I felt as if some tones of load is with drawn from me. When I looked at his face it looks like a school boy annoyed of his mother. So sweet. We both smiled. We felt so relief. I got the confidence now, he is my husband and he will never leave me alone. He too loves me I can see that in his eyes. I got the confidence and I felt so happy.
I informed office that as my presentation was over I have to see some personal work. But by that time my whole office got the news that my husband came there and he is sick. Some of the colleagues are making fun of me; see you are very lucky that your husband is not leaving u. I felt very proud and happy. Whole day we spent in the hotel room, as Manik is feeling weak, I concentrated on his food more and forcing him to eat more.
Finally he got angry and shouted at me" why are you forcing me to eat much?"
I told him" you need stamina in the near future."
He looked at me with a puzzled face.
I again found a school boy face, I laughed and laughed.
This school boy did not understood what I mean, I thought. We came back to home by that night train. I started moving close to Manik. I know he understood what I mean but he is not reacting. Now we both have love and confidence on each other. I feel I am in heaven again to be with Manik. But there is small hesitation to take lead role to have sex with him. I really wanted him now. I feel to touch him. Whenever I am talking to him I am standing very near to him. I am touching his hand again and again for small reasons. But he does still not understand. He also seems very happy, we both are always smiling. I bought a mobile only to be in touch with him continuously. He is sending SMS always. For every half an hour we are talking over phone. He is selecting dresses for me, I am selecting his clothes.
I am feeling a very strong sexual desire. I felt strongly that he is pulling me towards him.
If I take lead role he will remember that I had experience and he may feel bad, so I am not daring. But why he is not coming near me I don't understand.
To b continued...if u all wish to...
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