Posted: 21 May 2015 at 4:20am | IP Logged
Just posted this on Gan' thread and doing a copy paste ehre
I was away on a short trip yesterday so missed the episode last night but here' my two cents on the whole thing.
The interruptions were expected, we knew it would happen and the marriage did provide a perfect oppurtunity for that.
Also because of the rejections she has faced in her past she had made peace with and reconciled herself to the knowledge that men deem her as undesirable, that she' not the woman they want for a wife because she would be unable to give them a progeny.
The first man who post all these rejections took interest in her did it so in the most disgusting way and not just that he made a mockery of her situation in the worst possible manner when he implied that he could show her what it means to be a woman and there wouldnt be any side-effects of that too...so far she had only seen the flip side of her shortcoming to the extent where people discarded her, this situation made it even worse for her...
Her husband started getting attracted to her a long time back but only made it obvious slowly and steadily as his feelings for her started to get stronger.
Now in this phase where they have confessed they love each other she' s definitely over the moon, someone saw her beyond that one thing which everyone defined her by - her infertility and not just that, the man deemed her enough to love her...that is what made Ishita willing enough to want to take this relationship forward. Even when Raman hadnt said he loves her, she had felt his love for her which was enough for her; the woman who backed away and hesitated when she was cornered by her husband post Mihir Mihika' roka, the one who was overwhelmed by watching the naked desire her husband had for her in his eyes now wanted to the thrill of giving into it and tasting that desire, which is what made her participate willingly in those moments spend during holi and the night when Raman stole those papers, not to mention the fact that her husband' ex commenting that they are just playing house also has something to do with it...but moving on, like I said Ishita felt loved, wanted, desired and desirable by Raman in those moments, something she longed for...for someone to want her, long her, just Ishita, the woman, the person and nothing else and it happened here...
Also lately Raman made her feel wanted just for herself each time he came close to her and did something - when he made it obvious how much he wants her, the thrill and joy of it definitely did wonders for her, and like Anu said its partly a reason why she' doing what she is aside from the obvious that she' playing host to guests because of a marriage in her family and as such she has some duties and responsibilities and while men when it comes to sex are on a one track mind, women cannot do that, we arent just programmed that way really. When it comes to sex men dont think, but we do - thats a fact and I dont think I would find many protestors there...
But whats making her play dumb also is the fact that it acts as a convenient getaway, an escape from reality - the fun and banter, the teasing and grumbling of Raman acts as a buffer for her which lets her not ponder over the sudden pressure that she' felt - the one thing which is what cracked her initially - the impending proposition of motherhood.
To her, Raman doesnt just mean to take their relationship forward and consummate it - if that were the case, Ishita would have complied in my opinion, she' being willing in the past as mentioned and known; he means to have another child - with her - and the repeated hammering of a demand of this child or the urge to try one that Raman has been doing, he' inadvertently scaring her.
Like I said in your post the other day when the SMS scene was aired in the precap - Ishita might never conceive or even if she does it may not happen as soon as Raman thinks it may...he is banking on their love and his very capable sperms but he' not taking into account that this - the thought of disappointing him when it comes to a child may be killing her. She' doing all these things despite wanting to go ahead in this marriage to keep Raman away to just stall things, cause she knows its inevitable, the consummation of their marriage that is...they are in love now and have been very attracted to each other for the longest time, there' nothing to offer as an excuse to avoid this except the chances she gets to delay things...because she' scared once they give into their desires, into this temptation they have for each other - she would no longer be able to avoid the hope that would make Raman look at her. Each month that she would find herself going through the cycles of a woman' bane of existence she would be disappointing him - but unlike couples for whom this just means lets try some more and maybe the next time, for her this could be the course of her life, the pattern of it set in stone.
Until now she has had no reason to disappoint Raman but in this case she might, and thats what scares her.
Remember this woman cracked under the first few months of her marriage itself when she poured her heart out to her Bala jiju and said the family would want something of me too as their DIL when she heard her MIL cry over Adi and lament that even Ishita would be unable to provide them another heir for Raman, it overwhelmed her...
She was guilty for being unable to give the family who has accepted her a child, a child with a man she didnt even like very much...if she' now scared of disappointing the man she is in love with, the man who' inadverdently making her feel trapped and scared himself, its no wonder she' using escape mechanism and avoiding the roads that lead to her breaking his heart, her letting him down by being unable to provide him the one thing he' asked of her, wants for them so very much.
The more she avoids the further away is the time when she can start really disappointing him; compared to that dejection, she thinks doing this - making him wallow and grumble is a lot kinder and less painful.