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T3| ArHi FF Second Chances| Note and link to T4, pg 148 (Page 33)

Mirabell Senior Member
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Posted: 22 May 2015 at 3:37pm | IP Logged

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Edited by Mirabell - 02 March 2016 at 2:33pm

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Mirabell Senior Member
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Edited by Mirabell - 02 March 2016 at 2:32pm

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chotidesi IF-Dazzler
chotidesi
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Posted: 22 May 2015 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
I love the way you set the mood of the scene. This was true throughout the update, right from the head whipping organized chaos of breakfast, where you can feel the control slipping through Khushi's fingers as everyone talks around her. It was so representative of what family dinners can be like- and yes, I did say family. 

You carried that through to Arnav and Khushi, where you brought the warmth he seeks to give her, encouraging her to talk and becoming her confidant. Despite the resistance she puts up, I love how he patiently chips away at the walls she puts up. He slowly draws her to expose the vulnerability, and then provides her with comfort and friendship. He presses just enough, without pressing too far- at least, not yet. If he's not wooing her, he's sure succeeding at wooing me. LOL

I can sense Manorama's apprehension. You've woven little niggle that unsettles her so well, pushing it into our minds. It just slips out from her and I can see her quickly scramble to regain control over her emotions the minute she realizes how much it hurts Khushi- but that doesn't do much other than kick the can further down the road. Her last thought made me inhale deeply, and I found myself swallowing the little lump in my throat. I'm apprehensive as well, but I have faith in her. 


Love always,
Choti.


Edited by chotidesi - 22 May 2015 at 8:28pm

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Chokri_ASR IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 22 May 2015 at 3:38pm | IP Logged

If you wish for your dreams to come true, they will... isn't that a saying?


Well I think, in Second Chances there is a possibility for that to happen. Every character in this journey has a wish, along with the readers... And this update has given me hope for that to happen.


This update starts and ends with the matriarch, Sumitra Raizada, which was brilliant, by the way.  I loved it, but what I loved the most, was her thoughts, the mindset in which she observed and played her cards to perfection at the dining table.  Getting us all what we wanted.  Arnav and Khushi along with the kids to be together, the four of them. And oh how beautiful was that sight at the end as she watched them. That is officially embedded in my mind. the perfect family.


Those kids, I simply adore them. Meera eating pooris for me was a image of mini Khushi. And our dear Mohan, look at him... making progress. That little boy is so close to my heart. I am loving how you are showing how children have a way of healing. Excellent job.


Now what I found so touching, and yes you got me teary eyed, yet again... Was this statement which I shall quote you my dear writer guru.


Watching them together proved to be difficult for Manorama, a bitter sweet pinch in her heart. She realized then that she knew what she had to do.

It just says so much. For both Khushi and Manorama this is not easy at all, one can't just walk away without the other. They need each other. I really felt for Khushi, my heart broke for her. All her life she has had people she loved, leave her.  And BHAM... It's clear. Khushi is afraid of moving forward because she doesn't want to forget NK, she doesn't want to lose her Amma. And rightfully so.


Last but not least, our man Arnav. Damn woman you had me in a mush reading this update. He is perfect, bas. The way he took Khushi's hand placing it back on the ring was absolutely touching and telling. He really wants to do this right. And he will, I know it.  


Soon Khushi will too, and for that I shall wait and let you unfold this journey for us.


I just loved it, really loved it my SS Heart... take a bow Clap, this was masterfully crafted and presented.


Edited by Chokri_ASR - 22 May 2015 at 10:51pm

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Arshi67 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 22 May 2015 at 3:38pm | IP Logged

"The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it." 

Jean-Paul Sartre

And Sumitra Raizada is as perceptive as they come. Especially where her family is concerned. Charmingly manoeuvring the situation oh so guilelessly. 

Arnav with a smug look on his divine visage ... sweet dreams are made of this ... I'm certainly not one to disagree ;)  Day Dreaming

The conversation between Manorama and Khushi was wonderfully done Mirabell. The way you showed the shift in tone, the deeper meanings in all that they said to the other, the underlying insecurity in both, the way her maternal instinct jumped out, all an absolute pleasure to read. An elemental shift in Manorama here, I thought. It makes you feel for the mother in her even while applauding the mother in law. "Bittersweet" indeed. 

"He caught her hand gently and raised it to the ring, closing his fingers over hers so she could hold the ring."

This was such an incredibly moving moment. For me, more poignant than a hug or a kiss. (Uh please don't take that to mean I don't want those!) But the understanding shown here is what made me melt. I was smiling tearfully as I heard Arnav recount what Meera had spoken about her Appa. This entire scene once again shows what a brilliant job you're doing in showing how Khushi is slowly opening up. A bruised sunflower, once again responding to the rays of warm sunshine.

And Charu ... always ...  Hug

Meera is Meera   Heart

I'm with Jigs and you for #writexshilohxwrite  Smile



Edited by Arshi67 - 23 May 2015 at 5:56am

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canapoem IF-Sizzlerz
canapoem
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Posted: 22 May 2015 at 4:16pm | IP Logged
MB, I must say that I fall in love with your story and its characters more and more after every update. 

How do you give us such beautiful relationships which leave such long lasting impressions on reader's minds? After reading every update I literally relish and cherish these beautiful relationships and somewhere they have started making a permanent place in my heart. 

The conversation between Khushi and Manorama was so touching. 

Many times in our lives, we cannot express our emotions and feelings in words. Actually many times it so happens that we are not in a position to even understand why we feel certain things in certain situations, let alone put them in words. And this is the same situation both are in now. 

Khushi is in such a dilemma now, whether she should move on or not. If she moves on, will she be closing NK's chapter in her life, if so she does not want to close it. She can never close NK's chapter in her life, yet she fears that NK's memories will be sidelined if she allows Arnav to enter her life.
Is she ready to take such a big decision? Is it even right to move on? And how will Manorama take it?
So many questions in her mind and she is scared to take any decision. 

Watching them together proved to be difficult for Manorama, a bitter sweet pinch in her heart. She realized then that she knew what she had to do.

Similarly for Manorama, letting go of Khushi is a big step for her. Letting go of Khushi means letting go a part of Naren, allowing Khushi and Meera to build new relationships means erasing old relationships Naren had built, yet I am sure Manorama will take the right decision in the best interest of both Khushi and Meera. She understands that both Khushi and Meera need someone like Arnav in their lives. Khushi and Meera have a long way to go and the memories of NK are not sufficient for them, however tough it is going to be on Manorama's heart to do it.



I wonder how Meera would react if and when she understands that her friend ASR can be something more than a friend to her.


He needed patience and she needed tenderness; he was prepared for both this time.

Coming to Arnav, yes Arnav is required to show a lot of patience if he wants Khushi and Meera in his life. How will Arnav convince Khushi that letting him in, does not mean letting go of NK?
How will he make her understand that he is not trying to replace NK's position in her life but wants to make his own space in her life? 

Though I am loving his little actions like he placing her hand back on the ring in her chain, or talking what Meera told about NK and encouraging her to share about  NK and what a wonderful man he was, is it sufficient for Khushi to make her come out of her fears? 

I don't understand how people expect me to just move on, get on with my life. As if it's a book, once you are done reading it, you close it and bam, its done. My life is not like a book, I don't know how to close one part of it and open another. I don't want to close it, dammit. He was my husband, my NK..


After reading the above sentence, I am kind of getting more scared about their love story. Will Khushi ever be able to open a new chapter, a new page in her life??? What is it that will give her the ultimate push to do it??

Thanks for the pm MB. Now eagerly waiting for the next update.




Edited by canapoem - 24 May 2015 at 10:36pm

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ranogill IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 May 2015 at 4:47pm | IP Logged
beautiful update...loved khushi ,holding on to the security blanket in form of her mother-in - law and do not want to let go ...but let go she will have to do because she will find an anchor in arnav..

Edited by ranogill - 22 May 2015 at 6:09pm

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ManKiBaath Senior Member
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Posted: 22 May 2015 at 4:57pm | IP Logged
It may be the long weekend flavor but there are somethings that you never want to end and this story seems to fit right into that routine all the timeSmile. Everything about this seem to be so right that it was a perfect holiday read for a perfect day nature wise.
 
The highlight of this chapter for me was Sumitra and her ability to make the obvious never miss her eyes. We couldn't be happier for her as the boys of her life are shining brighter than the sun itself. It may not be just her view but it is amazing that a simple act of breakfast, executed in the right way, can make wonders out of food and time. Luckily for her and the people around her, her old age has added wisdom along with age, to her bones. I may be singling out Sumitra in this chapter but I think these statements also apply to the other old ladies of the story too.
 
Just when you think the old ladies are pulling their weight, you cannot stop admiring how much the kids are punching beyond their weight. Meera and Mohan never seem to disappoint with their faith or maps or hearts. They are just like that beautiful pendant that not holds the two ends of the chain but also bring the much needed purpose and beauty to the chainSmile.  
 
As for my favorites Arshi, sometimes the world around you just seem to work to align things in their favor. Looking at the kids, the old ladies and even the old cousins, it feels like it is not far behind before the stars and planets align themselves for their sake.
 
I am glad Arnav is more bold and open with his initiatives and for all the "trying to be adamant" that Khushi is, someone holding her is what she needs the most now. It was brilliant on Arnav's part to use the rightful pretext of NK to know more about Khushi's past and present state. A peck on the cheek would have been a better reward for him more than the inward cheerJ. For her part, the (un)realized tightening of the arms was the least she could have done to express herself.   
 
After the verandah talk, the impending river bank talk is coming up, there is nagging feeling that somehow this next one is what we all are wishing for.  So bring it on Mira, as I'm so ready for it.


Edited by bhavali4RR - 26 May 2015 at 9:43am

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