Joined: 02 May 2005
when we see a indian woman or man with a different race (caucasian, african american, english, ect) many ppl seem to think of it as odd and concerning and relate it to NRI's becoming too modern and what not...
so the topic is should interracial marraige prejudiced against? even though we might support it, subconciously we think that the person made a bad mistake marrying outside of their own race (hindu, muslim christian, ect) Many indian parents dont even let their children play with indian/caucasian, african american children because they think that those children will hav a bad influence on all other children.
should it be viewed with such hostility? does it really matter if u marry outside of your own race?
(india forum rules do apply!)
BollyCurry Director, BollyCurry Executive Director
Joined: 30 October 2004
Joined: 02 September 2004
very interesting issue....however i think that you are looking at one side of the coin.after a number of years in usa, i have yet to see any hostility towards interracial social mixing.i do admit that there are a number of reasons that indians prefer to stick to thier own community.however let us not point fingers at indians alone.....you will see the same thing with chinese, russian, jewish, parsi and numerous other communities.
firstly the question of indian parents not allowing thier kids to play with kids from other races. i don't think most NRI's have any choice. my daughter goes to a public school where she interacts with a number kids from different races and faiths, it is same with her friends from around the house. however it has not been easy....there are times when she came up to me and asked why is she brown when some are black and some are white. there was an occasion when she came up to me and said we were kafirs and asking what that was(courtesy her friend from muslim faith). an another time she told me that we would be assigned to hell since we did not believe in jesus , the only true son of god(hindu gods are false).it is hard to explain a 4 yr old complex issues related to faiths, races, traditions , eating habits,.she has a problem if i talk to my husband in hindi in front of her friends and american stores( i still have to get to the root of that). i would have had a easier time if i had stuck to indian community.she would have been very comfortable with her roots and traditions.the things get harder and complex if the kids are teenagers. one of my friends is struggling with issues like dating ,drinking ,partying, dress issues with her teenage daughters.her son is embarrased in locker room bcoz of obvious issues.being with people from same roots and community reduces thier sensivity,gives them confidence, a pride in culture and makes them feel as if they belong and are not freaks.you must remember even if we are openminded , others may not be.
now for interracial marraiges.....i have seen very few succeed.it is very hard adjustment and you end up compromising your personality in some ways.let us ask our selves a few hard questions....if a vegetarian hindu marries a muslim , what faith will the kids follow, what will be the usual diet in home(veggie or non veg).whatever the compromise one or both of the spouse are bound to lose a part of thier heritage. compound this by a few generation....there is no heritage or roots left (it has been diluted by countinuous intermarraige). a very famous conquerer had once said that a way to complete kill a culture is to take over its customs and language and marry into it .interestingly he was right, did you know that there are still direct descendants from ancient mayans living in yucatan region, but they have no idea about the rites, language or the culture that thier ancestors followed.the reason is that when they were captured by spainiards, they turned catholic, married into thier families or served them...over years and centuries , thier ancesteral way of life went extinct. now historians are wrecking thier heads trying to unlock the mysteries of that culture, trying to decipher thier language . it is almost ironical. i am not in any way condemning interracial marraiges, infact i admire the persistance of the spouses in successful interfaith , interracial marraiges. however there are some inherent cultural disadvantages to it that few people consider. also marraiges involve bonding of two families , it is a tall order to work on if they have almost nothing to common.as one of the member mentioned here her cousin married an american and it was looked upon unfavourably by her family in india. a bigger question would be that how comfortable the groom was with the family in india, or how openly her cousin was welcomed in the folds of her husband's family. how much compromise they had to do to make the marraige work and are they happy about those compromises.
bottomline being correctness of interracial marraiges depend on your valuation and belief system.if you believe in in globalizations, humanity , love across boundaries ,i see nothing wrong with interracial marraiges. however if you value your roots and heritage and want to hold on to it, then you have an problem on your hands.
Joined: 20 October 2004
phewww pj i dunno wat 2 sayyyyyyyyy after wat uve said watever i say will seem so stupid imature n childish..................lolz guess age duz come in2 play here..u r mother of a kid while i am still a kid(15 iz still a kid rite?)
newayz dat wont stop me frm speaking.errrrrrrrm writin
yea as pj said interracial marriagez r hard 2 maintain n itz da most confusing 4 the kidz.................dey dunno which culture 2 follow
4 ex........i have a frend her dad iz paki muslim n her mom is french christain n mah frend iz very confuzzled(yup mah wrd...lolz) she dunno wat 2 do.........neither 1 of her parentz r all dat religious or cultural....cuz dey compromised 4 e/o n gave up a lil bit of der own heritage.................der marriage iz successful(mah frend iz mah age n her parentz r hapily married) but she feelz lost n stuk in btwn............wen she goes 2 her momz side dey all eat pork n all n dress "non islamically" n wen she @ her dadz side of da family itz da otha way arnd.....................she neva noez wat 2 do...........................................
ok another example.......................
mah dadz frend married a white woman. Da fam waznt 2 happy but dey gave in 2 hiz kuv...........ok so yea dey were married but cudnt adjust 2 e/o lifestyle or culture n very soon after der marriege dey had a divorce........da same man married another woman la8ter on... a paki by his parentz choice and da 2 r very happy 2geetha
so yewa i personally dun think dat interracial marriagez r a gud idea but 4 ppl hu r willin 2 du neting 2 make it succeed gud luk n hope u r happy.but yea i wudnt luk down on sum1 hu married out of race cuz datz der choice
Joined: 28 December 2004
Joined: 05 February 2005
all i have to say is ppl should choose who they want to marry and the parents should accept the fact tht there child wants to marry someone outside there race
hindi ppl marry punjabi ppl so if there is something wrong with marrying a white or black perosn then marrying a hindi or punjabi person is wrong too
but u also have to accept the other perosn's culture and some mother-in-laws want u to accept there culture and follow there rules but u don't want to forget ur culture and then u don't know how to speak there language and then u don't know wht they are saying
so these marriages are bad and good but we can't do anything about it bcoz ppl want to marry the perosn they love and they don't care wht culture u r from
but lots of parents do care because they dont' want there child to marry another race person.................but parents are the major cause of breaking ppl relation and if they want to marry a perosn from another culture they can't so they have to marry there culture ppl
Joined: 28 February 2005
Joined: 23 August 2004
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