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Really? What's wrong?!

iMini IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 April 2012
Posts: 21320

Posted: 31 December 2014 at 3:33am | IP Logged
It's so different everywhere!
My personal account:-
I shifted to Noida some months ago.My friendship with boys is great,but this never gets down well with their girlfriends despite my efforts to make them my friends as well.I have suffered bullying because of this,with those girlfriends spreading rumors like I am a lesbian and what not in my school(just because I don't believe in being in romantic relationships in school,sticking to just one boyfriend instead of having many guy-friends) .
If not all north Indian girls,at least majority of girls in good schools of Delhi/Noida believe a girl and guy can't be just friends.
It's sick.I hate school because of such lovebirds at school.
The peer pressure here is so much that even if you don't really want to,you will have a pseudo bf/gf just because 'everyone' seems to be in a happy relationship around you and its COOL!
What's worse is that people close to me start linking my childhood abuse to my moral believes about refraining from romantic relationships before I am old enough.(I am 16,I believe the right time should be when I am stable career-wise and can concentrate on my love-life without the fear of compromising with my career.)
This not only is annoying and baseless-but also triggering .I feel drained.It's OK if my friends are in relationship, it's their life and happiness, I am happy.But they have no rights to label me abnormal/relate it to my past/label me as someone who can't be committed (sl*t is the word).
I've posted about racism earlier. I am trying to gauge what exactly is making me feel so weird here.Cultural shock? Am I abnormal? Or really racism?
Opinion please.
(Note:- I thought of posting this after reading 'Can a girl and a boy just be friends?' thread.

Fiery.Fawkes Goldie

Joined: 14 December 2014
Posts: 1139

Posted: 31 December 2014 at 4:53am | IP Logged

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iMini IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 April 2012
Posts: 21320

Posted: 31 December 2014 at 5:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Feiry.Fawkes

I have never heard a 16 some girl called names just cuz she doesn't have a bf. If a girl is in late 20s or 30s with no bf or marriage or engaged, I can see why she might get isolated. So yeh, can't relate to your story, but GL and stay strong.
exactly! This is really wierd to me as well.This is just not the right age!. Probably I have landed in a bad school.

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maha2us IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 October 2007
Posts: 2936

Posted: 31 December 2014 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
IMini, I can quite understand you. Because I myself had been called weird during times as I am an introvert. One thing you have to accept is there is nothing wrong with you. And more importantly you can accept yourself even if you are not the way the others are. People ridicule others not because there is something wrong with others, but because they have their own false beliefs.  Definitely you are in right path. In school, you can be studious, do well in studies and look for accomplishing something in life based on your studies. This is not the age in which you are to have a b/f as the crowd may suggest. Even though what the love birds do look sweet, they will be full of tension. The relationships are for persons who have got some level of maturity and those who are responsible and not for the teenagers who live by their parents' money. Just be assured you are in right path. Accept yourself, love yourself and adore yourself, the way you are. Remember our father of Nation, Mahatma Gandhi once told, 'Those who stand for their own truths even if they are unique are courageous and those who want the crowd support for their opinions are cowards.' 
Cheers and Happy New Year,

Edited by maha2us - 31 December 2014 at 8:33pm

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iMini IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 April 2012
Posts: 21320

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 7:22am | IP Logged
You're post is motivating.Thank you.
And a very happy new year Smile

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return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 23837

Posted: 02 January 2015 at 1:44am | IP Logged
I feel that the girls are insecure about their relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being friends with guys. Many women seem to have a problem with their boyfriends/husbands being friends with other single women. The irrational belief is that if she has a boyfriend/husband, then she won't lure their husbands/boyfriends into temptation. Older women eventually realize that this is not true and that guys and girls can be friends. At least they learn to deal with their insecurities more maturely.

Teenage girls tend to be more immature. If they feel threatened by a single girl and worry that their boyfriend may stray, they make rumors about the girl being a s**t or a lesbian. Whatever they think will turn the boys off from her. They also pressurize you to have a boyfriend because they think it will be less of a threat.

I understand that it is very difficult to deal with such bullying and rumors. All I can say is hang in there and don't let them get to you. In the real world such attitudes and bullying don't fly. People who don't grow up will find themselves lagging behind.

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souro Moderator

Joined: 27 January 2007
Posts: 8611

Posted: 04 January 2015 at 1:27am | IP Logged
Closed on OP's request.

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