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Sometimes, being strong is not about letting go, but about holding on

allforlove Senior Member
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Joined: 23 December 2014
Posts: 407

Posted: 31 December 2014 at 12:24am | IP Logged
I am going to say something here that most may not agree with but it is just my thought about it Smile
So, yesterday's episode was supposed to be about Arzoo's heartbreak and it was...she was broken, she sank, and I did feel very, very bad about what happened to her Unhappy

However, my heart really cried for Sahir Cry His pain, his suffocation, his loss were so palpable yesterday that I could only Cry He is the one who is causing all this suffering and he is the one who is suffering the most in this. He is sinking deeper and deeper. He already had enough baggage and now he has taken another one - the worst one - of hurting the true love of his life. If Arzoo's first love remained incomplete, Sahir's true love too remained incomplete...adhoori arzoo for both of them Cry

Now, the question arises, what should Arzoo do now? There has been a lot of discussion about this already and most of us (including me) have pitched for a stronger Arzoo - and rightfully so...but then I ask myself - what is strength about?

Yes, she needs to be strong to let go of Sahir, to rise above the heartbreak, to make something of herself, make her career, stand on her own feet, stop depending on Sahir etc etc etc. This would be the "right" course of action for many...

But then, doesn't love sometimes needs more from us? Doesn't it entail holding on - despite the pain, the heartbreak, the struggle - holding on to something that you know in your heart is worth it. Holding on to someone who you know is worth it in the end? Holding on to something so fast that that you force it to yield, surrender, and save everything (the people and the relationship) in the end? There may be many divergent opinions about this but for Sahir and Arzoo, I would love them, especially Arzoo to hold on to Sahir...especially now...when he is broken and lost. For if she doesn't, who will?
 
Arzoo has probably not realized Sahir's true worth now - she has only accepted a part of it but she must now THINK, INTERPRET all those actions, gestures, words, and above all, what went unsaid and hold on...She should find out what is amiss, what is so wrong. If she claims to have loved him, she should understand him. She needn't fall over him and she can still maintain her distance but she should not go away, not leave him like this. She should really solve the "mystery" and hold fast. Agreed, it would be tough, extremely tough for her - especially after the molestation thing - perhaps it would be impossible to do so -but then she has loved an extraordinary man (and she must know this at least) - so, her actions should be extraordinary now to make it work. 

And if she can't, she was never meant for him - yes, I would go so far to say this...Cry

If Arzoo leaves Sahir now, he would be condemned forever to live this life of excruciating loneliness, pain, and suffering - and it is unbearable. Someone must save him, someone must heal him, someone must bring every single agony out of his soul, make him bare his heart and pour it all out so that he can be purged, finally and completely...to make a new beginning...

Love sometimes needs us to go beyond ourselves, go beyond what is the norm, go beyond what "should" be done...Placing someone else above oneself is not easy - even in love - but that is all that makes the difference. The heartbreak, the disillusionment, the humiliation, the trauma - it is so easy to let go after that, but so much tougher to hold on... 

If I had a Sahir of my own (wishful thinking Day Dreaming) I would hold on - and I would not care what the world thought of me - because HE would be my world...Embarrassed

That is my take on it - whats yours? Smile

Do share your thoughts!






 

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pria4ever IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 31 December 2014 at 3:16am | IP Logged
ClapClapClap
so damn true...we all are in support for Aarzoo..her heartbreak n all...what about Sahir? he hasn't recovered from the betrayal he received from Zeenat n now this...his family ,or atleast namesake family dont seem bothered...
Aarzoo changed him...bought a smile on his face...n then he begins to live his life, that he forgot existed...i dont want Aarzoo to hate him ,leave him or despise him...
bash me all u want...i dont care is its moral or immoral...but Sahir is longing for love and care in his life...Aarzoo needs to heal him...i dont want the Zaki angle to be there...let both Aarzoo n Sahir handle their problems and issues, they dont need a mediator...
dont know how the story will head...but i want SaAz together...

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docmonica Newbie
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Posted: 31 December 2014 at 3:26am | IP Logged
Beautiful insight. Yes. Love requires us to be strong. And I do agree she is going to have to show some real insight and be able to deduce how much he is hurting also and selflessly continue to try to help him . I too hope the scriptwriters can show this. Just like she was shown to help him him this far... From the medicine for his back...to helping him learn to hope and love and live again by not going away every time he tried to push her away...

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farzy2910 Goldie
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Posted: 31 December 2014 at 4:14am | IP Logged
It's nice to see a different view point to the whole situation. Thanks for sharing. You are right in saying that she should try to understand where Sahir is coming from. Aarzoo needs to bring the light into Sahir's dark life. 
I am sure that this heart break will make her stronger emotionally but she doesn't have to cut Sahir out completely from her life. She needs to also help him to let go of the past and live for the present and future. Sahir holding onto the promise he made to Zeenat needs to come to an end. He is ruining everything for that 1 promise 

I have to say though...living in the Niyaamat household is like SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. You have to be strong to cope with all those crazy people. And it's everyone for themselves, there is just 1 or 2 who truly care for the next person 

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ploydome Groupbie
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Posted: 31 December 2014 at 4:45am | IP Logged
Beautiful post Clap
I agree with you that Arzoo should show the light to Sahir...even if she is hurt...
But the problem here is not Arzoo...the only problem is that Sahir is not himself ready to put the past behind him ... So how can Arzoo heal him if himself is not willing to accept that he has to move on ?


I found a quote which is good :
"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward." STEVE MARABOLI



Ps : sorry if here some mistakes English is not my strongConfused

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allforloveTaanuDeewanisilky_harshad

Suvika. IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 31 December 2014 at 4:52am | IP Logged
Arzoo has probably not realized Sahir's true worth now - she has only accepted a part of it but she must now THINK, INTERPRET all those actions, gestures, words, and above all, what went unsaid and hold on...She should find out what is amiss, what is so wrong. If she claims to have loved him, she should understand him. She needn't fall over him and she can still maintain her distance but she should not go away, not leave him like this. She should really solve the "mystery" and hold fast. Agreed, it would be tough, extremely tough for her - especially after the molestation thing - perhaps it would be impossible to do so -but then she has loved an extraordinary man (and she must know this at least) - so, her actions should be extraordinary now to make it work. 

The title of your post had me and these above lines nailed it.Clap Clap  You are absolutely right. We do need a stronger Arzoo. Arzoo who would look below the surface. Who would try and read the thoughts behind his actions. Who would hold on and refuse to let go no matter what. He needs that right now. No one has done it before. Not even his mother. No one sees his pain and even if they do see, they take it that he is strong enough to endure it. Yes, he does go to extreme  lengths to hide it from everyone but one just has to peal one layer and there it is!! 

He needs an Arzoo who will hug him tight and say I won't leave. Just let go. I'll be here to hold you. Past hurts because you can't change it and you can't accept what happened. She needs to help him accept his past and move on. It is in no way easy. Not after the way he spoke to her last night and what is going to happen tonight. But if the makers want to show her become strong, confident and firm, this is where her strength and firmness should come out. 

And for that to happen, she needs to get some inkling on the workings of his mind. Some hope that he does have feelings for her. That he cares for her much more than he is letting on. That he doesn't want to drag her along with him into his painful past. Without that she can't take the first step. Her feet would halt. Because he is a married man. 

Even last night, her first words after he pushed her away were not "yeh sab fareb tha?" It was "aap shaadi shuda hain?" 

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Posted: 31 December 2014 at 5:25am | IP Logged
yesterday, sahir was being selfless indeed, he knew that he will lose arzoo, he knew that deal will be lost probably, he still painted himself as black as possible so that Arzoo is saved from the miserable future which she could have if he had accepted her.. This was selfless, and only people who understood the crux of the plot would realize it.. I dont want arzoo to be selfless and give him her everything, i just want to see balance in their acts, if Sahir can tolerate so much, and still have the courage to let her go, then why do a zaki come and break off everything ? Love is what Sahir has shown , taken the blame and accusation of what he has done, and of what he has not done yet, pushed her far away to protect her, Love is not what zaki is doing, yes being her support system is good but then just not thinking about the consequences and reacting ?


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Posted: 31 December 2014 at 5:48am | IP Logged
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