Channel V Dil Dosti Dance


Channel V Dil Dosti Dance
Channel V Dil Dosti Dance

SwaRon TS: Raising the SummerTemperature [Final Part Pg4] (Page 5)

Mansi98 Goldie

Joined: 02 July 2014
Posts: 1483

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 1:30am | IP Logged
mai kya bolu
breathe in...breathe out
vo kya hai na 1st time i read something like dis
acha tha
damm hot
i was thinking about 2 read or nt 2 read
bt padh liya
i jst cant resist
it was really a treat 2 read
sharon left him so she started loving him
bt he also loves her
n finally dey confessed
d best part was d last dialogue of swayam
keep writing like dis 
i would jst love 2 read like dis

i_yatharthk Goldie

Joined: 16 July 2014
Posts: 1185

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 2:44am | IP Logged
you have fifty shades trilogy right?
uski clear zalak dikh rahi hai isme...
jo bhi hai bohot badhiya likha hai...
cologne spray wala part was very nice in the last as well as this part...
keep on writing yaar
do publish your work one day...waiting for will definitely rock it...
BhaviJas IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 03 April 2013
Posts: 16302

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 3:34am | IP Logged
Amazing it was like really m all red now...
Do write such stuff frequently Tongue

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


Amy21 Senior Member

Joined: 17 June 2010
Posts: 254

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 3:49am | IP Logged
Awesome indeed u raised the temperature
athi_vrushan Goldie

Joined: 14 June 2014
Posts: 1959

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 3:55am | IP Logged
the second update is here
nice update
swaron shocked to find each other at the same 
holiday spot
jealous swayam and sharon were a treat to read
swayams jealousy went soo high manh!
swayam after hearing sharons confession
was still concerned abt his
colonge spray
swayam came there to 
find sharon...
even swayam loves sharon
but being the extrovert he is
his way of confessing was way too different
the last para was the highlight
thnx 4 d pm 

rosyrkohli IF-Rockerz

Joined: 20 September 2012
Posts: 6122

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 4:00am | IP Logged
Rese Silly
finally i m back in my senses
after reading such a chapter
which was a dangerous mix of spice n sexyness
u encompased sensory perception into prose
so readers don't end up with one-dimensional side.LOL
wat a visual it was i got a shock of my life after reading it
sharon the hungry tigress n swayam the cool dude
wat a fire and ice combination
the emotional intensity was so high tat i was red in the face
at the end Embarrassed
but the best part is tat u tell
your character's experiences through that character's actions.
n tat clearly makes ur writing exceptionl
Using the senses of sight, smell, and touch,
 and describing the scene using common,
everyday words, you've plunged me
into this character's mood--in just two sentences.

i loved every bit of it
n dedicating a thing lyk tis to me Embarrassed
i just dont know i m happy
tat tis tym the sun moon n stars din witness
n i will surely want to know which heaven
u were talking abt LOL
i knew u wanted to be an astraunat lyk pk
from day 1 but itni excaptional n creative imagination toh
uski bhi nahi hai
do write more Blushing

Edited by rosyrkohli - 01 January 2015 at 12:09pm

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Dew.. Senior Member

Joined: 30 October 2014
Posts: 753

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 4:55am | IP Logged
nahiii only 2 parts...
but i loved it ...its well written n this part is really hot. . .
& this ts perfectly suit this line '' chota paket bada damaka ''...
loved it...

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piyu_swaron IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 January 2013
Posts: 2647

Posted: 01 January 2015 at 5:03am | IP Logged
This was seriously HOTEmbarrassed
 what revenge by Sharon.. she messed up his house LOL

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