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MY DREAM, MY LIFE. A kriyaansh and swaron ff (Page 31)

resplendent26 Groupbie

Joined: 08 December 2014
Posts: 100

Posted: 10 August 2015 at 3:54am | IP Logged
Hey guys,

In this update, I've given you a bit of Kria's school background.

And for the first time, written in Reyaansh's POV, do tell me how's that?? Did it sucks,  or was it good enough!!

KriYaansh-ArSha Senior Member

Joined: 19 May 2015
Posts: 638

Posted: 10 August 2015 at 7:00am | IP Logged
Unressed on pg 30Smile

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Lawrentian_214 Newbie

Joined: 18 December 2012
Posts: 40

Posted: 11 August 2015 at 6:34am | IP Logged

  Amazing! Amazing! Amazing! I just love the whole update including the surprise. I just don't know from where to start therefore I'll be reviewing your update in a chronological order as there is so much to discuss that I fear to miss anything and hence, I'll talk about the surprise when its turn comes. This update is so good that I have bookmarked to read it again and again. Applauds to you dude for such a lengthy update and mind you, a lengthy review will be here so don't get bored.

  Starting with the sleeping position of KriYansh and how they wake up every morning was super cute and I liked it how gradually you made them overcome their awkwardness. The pace of the story is very smooth and transitioned very well, not too fast and not too slow, which is why I like your way of writing. Moving on, I liked the idea of introducing the school's alumni meet and adored the understanding husband Reyansh for capturing the thoughts of Kria and converting it into a frame of reality. I was touched by this act of his which showed his true love for his lady.

  After that comes the part which had me goosebumps in the update is where Kria dresses and our man Reyansh is just mesmerized by the God of beauty standing in front of her. I must say that you are excellent at writing romantics because this is where your piece of writing affects me the most and makes me fall in love of the story. I absolutely loved the comic part of Reyansh, after making her wife nervous with his proximity, where he pulls all of her hair at back instead of at the shoulder and says:

"... I'm in no mood to murder any one tonight!!"

  It showed the concern and possessiveness of a husband who loves her wife dearly and cannot stand anyone else than him to stare ate her ladylove. Just one thing which didn't like was the way Kria kept her thoughts and emotions away from Reyansh and from her as well. Her reaction clearly shows that she likes Reyansh and she should at least accept that fact to herself so she can change her action towards him.

  Coming to the most emotional bit of the update was the reminiscence of school. You made me nostalgic as I connected myself pretty well the nervous and excitement Kria was facing due to visiting her school after so long. I remembered our fun during the premises, the functions and competitions, our friendship, our rivalries and the love we had amongst ourselves which is as tightly bound between us as ever. Well keeping the melodrama aside and coming back to the update, I loved the friendship between Kria, Neha and Vishaka. It was pretty fun to see the flustered face of Kria when Vishaka called her a "hot chick". The smirk on Reyansh's face was easily pictured as he always liked to tease her when she blushed.

  Now comes the turn of what you call a surprise and what I call a pleasant shock which shook me from head to toe. Are you like for real? You actually discussed me in this update of yours and that too, with super precision and accuracy? You know what, I read that piece of the update about twice or thrice to make myself that this is all real and that you honored me in such a manner which no one has ever before. I awed the moment where you portrayed all my traits and expressed my story of despair and fake friendships. It was a pretty heartening scene where Reyansh realized her ( or say mine ) reservedness and nodded a "Hey" instead of shaking hands. This was the best part of the whole update according to me which showed how lucky I am to have a friend like you. I am truly blessed to get something like this from someone so special. I loved it to the core and today, I must say one big thing that I can always trust with anything I hold special, even my life.

  Well I was laughing like a maniac when I first read the name of "Shahrina Sehgal" popularly known as our personal BBC. I know to who you were referring and whose "qualities" you were describing in this set. You only once said to me that "Past should remain in past, if brought in present it creates destruction", that is why I moved on and that is why you did but indulging her name in this update I think that you still are begrudged to befriend her. You should move on if you did not ( correct me if I am wrong ). I know that you were expressing your thoughts rather than Kria's except the husband part but as you showed that Kria was leading a happy now, I am sure you will too.

  The second most comic part of Reyansh was when, after helping Kria handle that Shahrina, he decided to leave and said:

I'll take leave from here, because in your 'so called' friend's presence, I have a full chance of getting RAPED here, and I soo not want that,"

  Reyansh's point of view was very refreshing as I got to know the thoughts of our male protagonist of the story. I loved the concern, jealousy and anger of Reyansh when he noticed that pervert ogling Kria and then, dancing with her. I so felt relieved that he didn't create a scene by killing him or giving him a fate worse than death.  In this part, I didn't like one thing which was the lack of trust in Reyansh by Kria. She was looking for her friends to tie that dori when her husband was with her and after that, she allowed Reyansh only when he reassured her of closing his eyes. I think she should at least trust him completely which should be portrayed in the course of the story as soon as possible.

  Conclusively, it was all in all a great update and I loved everything. Man! You are perfecting the perfect and that's why I have redirected myself to ffs.  Great work!

Again you wrote a perfect ending line to this update:

"JEALOUSY is not a sign of no trust but a sign of POSSOSSIVENESS. And it is not a sign of IMMUTARITY but a sign of LOVE"

-        - RJ

P.S. I want a big fat reply to this lengthy comment of mine, otherwise no reviews!Angry

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shwetaphadke Groupbie

Joined: 13 June 2011
Posts: 188

Posted: 12 August 2015 at 4:25am | IP Logged
Plz plz...update this story for the first time...n it is awesmSmileEmbarrassed...plz update soon...

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777helly Groupbie

Joined: 10 February 2015
Posts: 140

Posted: 15 August 2015 at 12:52am | IP Logged
Plz continue
Nice storyn
Nice concept
Update soon

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Joined: 08 July 2014
Posts: 46

Posted: 15 August 2015 at 5:05am | IP Logged
Oh girl what an update
It was super awesome.
The whole reunion party I liked it very much
Intro of kriya's friend and of Vicky also.
I very much liked the last Lines you wrote
And yeah sorry for the Late comment was caught up with college things
Update soonish

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Gis...shakti Senior Member

Joined: 11 January 2014
Posts: 508

Posted: 18 August 2015 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
read all parts together...
update soon.

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SummerDreams Senior Member

Joined: 11 July 2014
Posts: 425

Posted: 27 August 2015 at 9:29am | IP Logged
awsm update Clap

luvd itHeart

update soon

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