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When will we ask a man to be accountable for his action (Page 4)

BeyondHorizon IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 29 December 2014 at 10:48pm | IP Logged
Shruthi I loved your post Clap I dont watch this show much except here n there coz of mom and I am thoroughly disgusted with the show Dead Bhabho is supposed to be the epitome of morality but where did that disappear off to when she had to take strong stand and make her whole family realize that Sandhya was not at fault for what happened? The rest of them were not at the scene when the incident happened but she was. She knows the complete truth and what a spineless family! Sandhya supported all of them when they needed her be it Meena or Emily. Sandhya supported Emily when she was pregnant and Mohit was running away like a coward and when Vikram threw Meena out of the house she stood by her side though Vikram had every right to do that for whatever Meena had done till then. Swapping children was a huge crime and Meena doesn get punished? Sandhya is punished for no fault of hers. I would never want Sandhya to forgive Suraj and his coward family easily but the dumb makers will show that anyways!

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Venus12b2011Picasso9shruthiravi

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Posted: 29 December 2014 at 11:15pm | IP Logged
@malikas yes I agree to you the way woman are brainwashed to believe the only way to survive is forgive men for their faults. But that is not the truth. If you have been exposed to book from childhood you come across many courageous woman who have defied the norms and ended up successful. Yes their path was hard, but nevertheless worth pursuing.
And no one can help woman there. Only woman herself can. Only if she stands up for herself this vicious cycle can change. More woman are coming forward now wanting to claim their right, challenging patriarchy and I feel our generation has a huge responsibility to ensure we support the youngsters in our family to have right values, make them confident enough to speak for themselves than put the old values in them
 
@Fieryheart thank you for the post. I have been a regular viewer of DABH and I have been waiting for Sandhya's ouster to put across my point in the forum. Because only if she was ousted for her door mat behavior I could analyze it from the story point and throw some light to people reading it , to tell why Sandhya's way is not the right way, how much ever CVs want to show Sandhya and Bhabo as Mahan. Sandhya allowed her whole family to walk all over her in the name of sanskaar feeding the ego of Bhabo and whatever end result we are seeing is her own doing. No one else is responsible for it. And I don't feel an iota of sympathy for Sandhya.

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Venus12b2011

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Posted: 30 December 2014 at 12:24am | IP Logged
Originally posted by shruthiravi

@pyaribehna if you look at DABH the question you need to ask yourself is " Do I want this life" because a woman has a choice, only thing is that she should be bold enough to bear the conseqeunces of it.
Our society doesn't accept the fact that woman has a choice and even the educated lot think they don't have a choice. If they exercise the choice well society will not accept them. Sadly our telly serials also propogate the same rule especially the ones on top of TRP chart. Because they want to feed the ego of patriarachy and also ego of woman who lives on believing theortical sanskaars without even understanding the glorious past which is so much evoked beautifully in Indian mythology. Read Indian mythology and find me a woman who is a door mat. You will find none. All of them were assertive in their own way starting from Sita
 
Sita- She argues with Ram on her rights as a wife and make him agree to the fact that she has the right to accompany him to the forest. When Ravan takes her she is prudent enough to drop her ornaments so that Ram can trace her and also blesses the bird Jadayu who is hurt trying to save her that the bird will be alive to give information about her to Ram. She is a very brave woman who disagrees to go with Hanuman in the darkness of night telling her husband has to defeat Ravan and take her with full respect and honour. And last but not least after abandoning her when Ram asks her to come to Ayodhya she denies telling she has done her duty and asks Mother Earth to take her
 
Savitri- Whose intelligence defied the lord of death and saved Sathyavan's life
 
Panchali- Born from fire with one question in infamous hall of dice she made a king of Yudhi who otherwise would have ended up a slave to Kauravas for whole life. The way she asks question in the most vulnerable moment shows her internal strength and refusal to accept the theortical sanskaar a wife is a husband's property and she has to adhere to his decision. Whole of MB would have been different if Panchali has not raised the question did Yudhi had right to keep her as bet after he himself became the slave.
 
And one more thing In mythology Goddess Parvathi Lord Shiva's consort is called Sakthi. Do we know the meaning of Shakthi, Shakthi means Power. A woman is called power not for nothing and we call her abla.  Shiv- Shakthi is a clear indication showing a man who respects Shakthi will be respected all along. And a woman who recognizes she is the power transforms the men associated with her in the positive way if they respect, trust and love her. Woman has transforming power that is why mother is called first teacher, wives are called Ardhanginis. When will the young girls realize this is a question in itself. For that inspiring shows has to come , the type of shows I grew up with Udaan( Old one with Kalyani Singh IPS), Chunouti etc..
 
Last but not least our own Rani Lakshmi Bhai. The woman who led from forefront the first war of Indian Independence. Where is her tribe, where is the fighting spirit of Indian woman which was so much there.
 
We celebrate Sandhya here who never once stood up for her rights and thinking she can give rights to others. She had the choice to tell her brother go to US  put me in hostel but I wont get married.
She had the choice to tell Sooraj I have ambition to be a police officer and I don't think your family environment is conducive of that.
She had the choice to tell Sooraj that I cant live everytime proving to your mother I am good or bad. I cannot take this pressure cooker life anymore( In Reality if someone lives Sandhya's life they will have a nervous breakdown for sure). If you think I need to be an IPS officer find a way to stop these challenges, else I have accepted my life as house wife. Cant take insults anymore.
 
A woman who didn't do any of these when she has the option is talking big on sanskaars and liberation as an IPS officer. What liberation did she get. Nothing. If tomorrow Sooraj comes with some excuse I did this because I loved you and if Bhabo cries some crocodile tears telling the glory of her parivaar this woman would happily go to the family and the TRP of DABH will touch roof top with many forum members shedding tears of happiness for the love birds.

Can I tell you how much Sandy's way of being with RP has angered me ? I find her so much of  a doormat so much she had to be the obedient bahu  and in spite of that  her wishe were not respected by Bhabho who insisted that she wanted a bahu and not an IPS officer. Several times Bhabho was the one who insisted that Sandy should get ready to leart to stitch napkins and diapers and stuff. 

Sandy was adamant with Suraj that is the only thing she did to make him realize her dreams were important to her. And Suraj was the one who understood her point of view. 

True mythology talks about women who were assertive. 

Sita was a single mother who brought her kids up on her own. 

She was the adopted child who the parents loved more than their own kid. and Rama married her did not matter she was adopted. 

And till the end she kept her self respect did not matter her husband was Lord Rama. 

On the other hand Rama and Lakshmana took the coward's way out. and sent her off by deceit. 

She not only survived she also got her kids their rights their kingdom 

And that is why Sita is an ideal woman. 

Sandy poor thing could not tell her bro she could stay in the hostel. She made Suraj realize that she felt suffocated in RP. That she did. 

And RP what do they think of themselves? That they are the "center of the world"? What do they mean by "badi bahu 's  farz" "family is important" etc. ? They are so selfish. Not only RP produced selfish people like Mohit and Chavi they also produced  people like Vikram who never respected their wives. And then they expect bahus that too only badi bahus to be serving the family 

And then they throw the badi bahu out for reasons like this. If bbsa was so great why did he let Suraj bear the burden of the family from age fourteen? Why did not he bear the burden himself? 


Edited by pyaaribehna - 30 December 2014 at 12:26am

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khushi_shankarVenus12b2011Picasso9shruthiraviBeyondHorizon

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Posted: 30 December 2014 at 1:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by shruthiravi

@pyaribehna if you look at DABH the question you need to ask yourself is " Do I want this life" because a woman has a choice, only thing is that she should be bold enough to bear the conseqeunces of it.
Our society doesn't accept the fact that woman has a choice and even the educated lot think they don't have a choice. If they exercise the choice well society will not accept them. Sadly our telly serials also propogate the same rule especially the ones on top of TRP chart. Because they want to feed the ego of patriarachy and also ego of woman who lives on believing theortical sanskaars without even understanding the glorious past which is so much evoked beautifully in Indian mythology. Read Indian mythology and find me a woman who is a door mat. You will find none. All of them were assertive in their own way starting from Sita
 
Sita- She argues with Ram on her rights as a wife and make him agree to the fact that she has the right to accompany him to the forest. When Ravan takes her she is prudent enough to drop her ornaments so that Ram can trace her and also blesses the bird Jadayu who is hurt trying to save her that the bird will be alive to give information about her to Ram. She is a very brave woman who disagrees to go with Hanuman in the darkness of night telling her husband has to defeat Ravan and take her with full respect and honour. And last but not least after abandoning her when Ram asks her to come to Ayodhya she denies telling she has done her duty and asks Mother Earth to take her
 
Savitri- Whose intelligence defied the lord of death and saved Sathyavan's life
 
Panchali- Born from fire with one question in infamous hall of dice she made a king of Yudhi who otherwise would have ended up a slave to Kauravas for whole life. The way she asks question in the most vulnerable moment shows her internal strength and refusal to accept the theortical sanskaar a wife is a husband's property and she has to adhere to his decision. Whole of MB would have been different if Panchali has not raised the question did Yudhi had right to keep her as bet after he himself became the slave.
 
And one more thing In mythology Goddess Parvathi Lord Shiva's consort is called Sakthi. Do we know the meaning of Shakthi, Shakthi means Power. A woman is called power not for nothing and we call her abla.  Shiv- Shakthi is a clear indication showing a man who respects Shakthi will be respected all along. And a woman who recognizes she is the power transforms the men associated with her in the positive way if they respect, trust and love her. Woman has transforming power that is why mother is called first teacher, wives are called Ardhanginis. When will the young girls realize this is a question in itself. For that inspiring shows has to come , the type of shows I grew up with Udaan( Old one with Kalyani Singh IPS), Chunouti etc..
 
Last but not least our own Rani Lakshmi Bhai. The woman who led from forefront the first war of Indian Independence. Where is her tribe, where is the fighting spirit of Indian woman which was so much there.
 
We celebrate Sandhya here who never once stood up for her rights and thinking she can give rights to others. She had the choice to tell her brother go to US  put me in hostel but I wont get married.
She had the choice to tell Sooraj I have ambition to be a police officer and I don't think your family environment is conducive of that.
She had the choice to tell Sooraj that I cant live everytime proving to your mother I am good or bad. I cannot take this pressure cooker life anymore( In Reality if someone lives Sandhya's life they will have a nervous breakdown for sure). If you think I need to be an IPS officer find a way to stop these challenges, else I have accepted my life as house wife. Cant take insults anymore.
 
A woman who didn't do any of these when she has the option is talking big on sanskaars and liberation as an IPS officer. What liberation did she get. Nothing. If tomorrow Sooraj comes with some excuse I did this because I loved you and if Bhabo cries some crocodile tears telling the glory of her parivaar this woman would happily go to the family and the TRP of DABH will touch roof top with many forum members shedding tears of happiness for the love birds.

Excellent posts Shruthi Clap and they are so meaningful striking the right chord! You have said everything so beautifully that I dont have anything to say. I agree with every word in this post Approve

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Venus12b2011shruthiravi

reshmi1234 Newbie
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Posted: 30 December 2014 at 1:59am | IP Logged
I think CVs should show the video of what happened on that day where Sooraj is running, Sandya is asking Sooraj go go inside the plane and Bhabo is running after him because of which Bhabo gets shot.  Had Sooraj listened to Sandya, bhabo would not have got shot.  Sooraj is at fault because of him bhabo lost one kidney.  CVs should show this video to Sooraj and Rati family

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Venus12shruthiravi

shruthiravi IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 30 December 2014 at 5:28am | IP Logged
Thank you for all the Likes and appreciations I have received for this post. It is always a nice feeling to know there are many like minded people out there who feel things can be better if we take some action.

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Venus12minalpink100pyaaribehna

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Posted: 30 December 2014 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by shruthiravi

@pyaribehna if you look at DABH the question you need to ask yourself is " Do I want this life" because a woman has a choice, only thing is that she should be bold enough to bear the conseqeunces of it.
Our society doesn't accept the fact that woman has a choice and even the educated lot think they don't have a choice. If they exercise the choice well society will not accept them. Sadly our telly serials also propogate the same rule especially the ones on top of TRP chart. Because they want to feed the ego of patriarachy and also ego of woman who lives on believing theortical sanskaars without even understanding the glorious past which is so much evoked beautifully in Indian mythology. Read Indian mythology and find me a woman who is a door mat. You will find none. All of them were assertive in their own way starting from Sita
 
Sita- She argues with Ram on her rights as a wife and make him agree to the fact that she has the right to accompany him to the forest. When Ravan takes her she is prudent enough to drop her ornaments so that Ram can trace her and also blesses the bird Jadayu who is hurt trying to save her that the bird will be alive to give information about her to Ram. She is a very brave woman who disagrees to go with Hanuman in the darkness of night telling her husband has to defeat Ravan and take her with full respect and honour. And last but not least after abandoning her when Ram asks her to come to Ayodhya she denies telling she has done her duty and asks Mother Earth to take her
 
Savitri- Whose intelligence defied the lord of death and saved Sathyavan's life
 
Panchali- Born from fire with one question in infamous hall of dice she made a king of Yudhi who otherwise would have ended up a slave to Kauravas for whole life. The way she asks question in the most vulnerable moment shows her internal strength and refusal to accept the theortical sanskaar a wife is a husband's property and she has to adhere to his decision. Whole of MB would have been different if Panchali has not raised the question did Yudhi had right to keep her as bet after he himself became the slave.
 
And one more thing In mythology Goddess Parvathi Lord Shiva's consort is called Sakthi. Do we know the meaning of Shakthi, Shakthi means Power. A woman is called power not for nothing and we call her abla.  Shiv- Shakthi is a clear indication showing a man who respects Shakthi will be respected all along. And a woman who recognizes she is the power transforms the men associated with her in the positive way if they respect, trust and love her. Woman has transforming power that is why mother is called first teacher, wives are called Ardhanginis. When will the young girls realize this is a question in itself. For that inspiring shows has to come , the type of shows I grew up with Udaan( Old one with Kalyani Singh IPS), Chunouti etc..
 
Last but not least our own Rani Lakshmi Bhai. The woman who led from forefront the first war of Indian Independence. Where is her tribe, where is the fighting spirit of Indian woman which was so much there.
 
We celebrate Sandhya here who never once stood up for her rights and thinking she can give rights to others. She had the choice to tell her brother go to US  put me in hostel but I wont get married.
She had the choice to tell Sooraj I have ambition to be a police officer and I don't think your family environment is conducive of that.
She had the choice to tell Sooraj that I cant live everytime proving to your mother I am good or bad. I cannot take this pressure cooker life anymore( In Reality if someone lives Sandhya's life they will have a nervous breakdown for sure). If you think I need to be an IPS officer find a way to stop these challenges, else I have accepted my life as house wife. Cant take insults anymore.
 
A woman who didn't do any of these when she has the option is talking big on sanskaars and liberation as an IPS officer. What liberation did she get. Nothing. If tomorrow Sooraj comes with some excuse I did this because I loved you and if Bhabo cries some crocodile tears telling the glory of her parivaar this woman would happily go to the family and the TRP of DABH will touch roof top with many forum members shedding tears of happiness for the love birds.
i am at a loss of words of appreciation for this postClap! Each and every word and examples stated are bang onThumbs Up and which goes to show the extent of the strength of a woman if she is determined to stand to face it all courageously, one that sandhya lacks the most! 
Thank you so much for bringing forth this topic out here for discussion.. it's a sensitive topic, but one that needed to be addressed.. and I must add that this is one of the best topics I've come across with some really thought provoking points put forward by everyoneClap

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shruthiravi

minalpink100 Goldie
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Posted: 30 December 2014 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by shruthiravi

I was waiting for some episodes to ask this question. The question that has enraged me as a girl from childhood, the question that enrages me even now as a woman.
When will a man be held accountable for his action. We as a society always love to put blame on the woman.
And as mother's wives, daughter's sister's we just love to override the fault of the men in our life telling oh he didn't intend it, he has asked sorry now leave it, he will not repeat it etc etc.
 
Here Bhabo getting shot was Sooraj's mistake not Sandhya's. But when Sandhya politely told him she has done her duty as a bahu only then she did try to do her duty as a police officer what answer the poor girl get.
That she didn't treat Bhabo as her mother. If Bhabo really thinks Sandhya is right she should give a slap to her son and tell him straight in the face he was wrong. She did her duty and it was his fault running behind her.
 
But no Bhabo wont tell. You know her son is so much disturbed. She will cry crocodile tears of sympathy to her beendini and will expect her beendini to forgive her son. He didn't do it on purpose beendini. Come back home.
 
Mother should be the first point who should teach accountability to her son. If he took action, make him accountable for it. If it is wrong tell him its wrong. If the DIL is right, support her openly even if that means going against son.
 
CVs expect me to approve Bhabo as Mahan. Sorry I cant. Unless she stands up for Sandhya now boldly all her tears are to me crocodile tears only. Her selfishness to run her parivaar which she knows cannot run without Sandhya. The control which she needs , which she will never have if Sandhya is not in the house. Meena and Emily are not going to be her door mats, only Sandhya can be her door mat.
 
So if they are ending this track with some half baked theory of Sooraj did this because of x,y, z reasons and Sandhya should forgive sorry to say I am not for it. CVs have to show accountability for Sooraj, he has to own and repent that mistake like anything before Sandhya comes back to him.
 
Nayi Soch of CVs will go for a toss if they don't show it. Because already movies and even telly serials have shown mother's making their son's accountable and DABH who tells they are creating inspiration cannot do it means they don't propogate Nayi soch at all. They are just giving Purani Soch in new bottle.
 
Will also list the examples where I have seen MIL supporting DIL
 
Kabhi Alvidha naa Kehna- Crap movie to the core. But the one thing I liked about it was when Preity slaps SRK for extra marital affair SRKs mother Kiron Kher stands by her DIL and decides to go with her leaving her son. She makes her son feel what he did to her DIL was wrong
 
Very recent EK Hasina Thi- Durga agrees to keep KC vrath on Suchitra's request. Her husband Dev tells her that he wont come to break the vrath. The way Suchitra rebukes her son telling he has no right to insult Durga as it was his decision to marry her. Suchitra brings her son home to break Durga's fast making him accountable for what he has done. She ensures her DIL is not insulted in front of society for respecting and obeying her.
 
Bhabo has to do half of it. She was running AD on small small mistakes of Sandhya. Let me see if she can run AD pointing out her son's mistake.


Nice Post ClapI totally agree with you. Smile


Edited by minalpink100 - 30 December 2014 at 7:55pm

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