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Jodha Akbar
Jodha Akbar

FF Ek ladki thi deewani si chap 35 on page 124 21/12/15 (Page 108)

swetiii IF-Sizzlerz
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swetiii IF-Sizzlerz
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Jodha was so happy that nothing sad further happen.Her prayers were answered and Kanha sent Jalal on time and things are now falling on place again.She looked towards Jalal than her gaze fixed on a mirror of room and she steps back.Her facial expression changed.Her muscles stiffed.

Jodha what happened???

Nothing shanshah .Please excuse me Jodha said and came out from room.Jalal was clueless whats wrong with her.A moment ago she is fine ,behaving well,no trace of complain or grudges is there.It looked like she grant him forgiveness before any apology and than this sudden movement.Jodha looked at Jalal who was standing in room with confused face.She looked everyone around .Ladies were feeling secure and optimistic for future.Everything is going in the direction as per her wish.She felt relieved that her mistake is partly rectify and Jalal's further actions will correct it in best possible manner.She stays there for sometime and than starts moving ahead. She is moving far away from Jalal.Her feets automatically takes the root towards woods.Both feets and mind are working equally.If feets were taking her away from him ,thoughts were still occupied with his deeds.Again why he did that to me??What was my fault??chain started.One year she practiced hard to control her emotion ,to keep her mind calm but now things are again on square.Everything she learnt from Guruji is going into vein.How can I let this happen??/How can I do this to myself???How can I let that man to inwade into my thoughts.Jodha lost her evrything even her identity of being a woman because of that man.How can I go to him???Doesnt I love myself.If today I am in a man's attire this all is happening because of him.Sometime he treats me like queen and sometime he behaves me like a trash.My sentiment,feeling,emotions nothing matter to him and I hugged him.How I can be emotional fool again????In frustration she bang her hand on a tree .Her palm starts bleeding.How can I forget countless time this hand bleed.Sometime cutting the trees,sometime due to thrones,sometime because of knife while cutting vegetables.A princess who is unknown to physical pain ,he introduecd to world filled with bruises,wounds and blisters.A land me into world filled of pain and misery.I am the dumbest creature of world so I just welcome him again in my world to let him destroy it again.She takes a deep breath and remeber Guruji's words.

Forgive everyone for everything that is the only route for ultimate happiness.Otherwise you will always be at suffering point.People never change but we have to change our perspective towards them.We have choose what is more important for us.She felt a hand on her shoulders,she turns back to find out .

Guruji ,You here ,Pranam.

God bless you.I saw you .You were leaving the place in haste so I followed you.What happened??

Nothing Guruji.

Fine than lets go .Its dangerous to stay in forest for long.Guruji stay there for a while but Jodha doesnt stands up to move from there.

I wont go to that man.

That man???Whom are you refering ???Is it for shanshah ??/Jodha I tried so many time to make you understand you have only two ways to heal your pain either forgive or forget.Neither you want to forgive him nor forget him.How will you move on??Things happened one and half years ago please for god sake leave them and move on.Jodha this is not the right way to sort out things.You are hurting and troubling yourself .Look at your hand its bleeding terribly.Is this the way I taught you???

No,you dont taught me this.You taught me to forgive people.You taught me stay happy in each condition .You taught me to keep calm.You taught me to be strong and stand for my grounds.You taught me everything which is right and person should follow .I was following all your lessons till this man appear in fram.He is the one who always destroys my world.He is the one who always spoils my efforts.

Fine,He did everything than ...What you want to do now.

I want to be alone for sometime.Leave me on my own.

Is this what you want.

Yes.

Guruji wants to take her back with him.He tried many other things but the girl is not ready to listen anything.She isnt ready to understand anything.Guruji left the place in hope that once her anger will be calm .She will return on her own as always.Jodha sits there as such .Things still going on in her head.

Mani you came from Mathura so early.

No we hadnt visit Mathura.We went to a big palace.Guruji stands whole day in arrival of king.

Mani what are you talking .Guruji supposed to go to Mathura not to this king's palace.How all this came in picture.

NO,no we went to talk about some Jodha .

Jodha...

Yes shaurya bhaiya.We went to talk about Jodha but king said he didnt have time for this nonsense.He is busy.

King himself said this .

No he sent a letter .If Jodha didnt see that letter she didnt believe.Although she didnt know the language but she recognise the Mugal stamp but she didnt believe it fully till she met someone who understand urdu.All her hope were gone on that day.Thousands time she thought why he did this to me.Why he married immediately after her departure.Why he didnt gave a minute to listen about her??

He never care for me.He was toying with me all this time. That marrige is just an instrument to prove his supremocity .He want to prove that cast,religion,others opinion nothing matters to him.He can make ash to queen and queen to ash.He want to show his will is most impotant thing in the whole kingdom.Earlier she doesnt understand but later as time passes Jodha connect the strings in the manner which she thought.First he appear in Amer and fooled whole Amer and marry me to prove he is master of disguise.Than took away me with him to prove that whatever belongs to him .He never let anyone to snatch.He keep Amer's sensitive nerve in his hand to control things as per his will.With my stay at Agra ,Amer is helpless.Than he dismiss refusal of Maulvi's on our marriage in court to keep them in limit. He keep giving me freedom to realise others that those are in his good books always benefitted.He was planning everything so cleverly that I never realise what's going on with me.All his words ,promises were fake.When I was investing my emotions ,he might be laughing at me thinking this girl is so stupid.She is born dumb.I was in sync with his will ,he was pleased and the moment I took a independ decision.He showed me gate.He didnt gave me a chance to explain my step.He is tricky.His arrival in the village is doubtful.He can send forces with qualified general but he personally came to defeat one person.He killed everyone but saved me.He accept my refusal to join him than suddenly arrived when forceful sati was happening.He is taking everyone to Agra means extra burden on treasury.why he is doing all this??Something is fishy.He is planning something but this time I wont be trapped in his trap.I wont become emotional fool again.His action is beyond my understanding.One thing is sure I wont join him.Now he is trapped in his words .If he didnt take responsibilty of this villager his words will be null which defame him and if he take them than it cost his treasure alot.So he have to take care of them and bear expenses.My responsibilty is over.Now I am free bird.No one can bind me. Guruji taught me enough to survive in this world so now its time to leave this place.Shahanshah e hind soon Ill be far away from your clutch.Whatever be your hidden motive but this time it wont be complete.Jodha stands up to move towards a new destination but sight infront of her is not pleasing.Jalal standing infront of her with his hand folding near his chest.How I can forget this he might kept an eye on me but I wont let him win this time.Jodha looked at him.He was calm and composed like never before.earlier he used to dominate her but now he is just standing without issuing any order to her.He will ordered you in a minute a tiny voice appeared in her head.He took her bleeding hand in his palm.

How did this happen???Jodha I am asking to you how did this happen Jalal said in soft tone.

I just collide with a tree which have so many thrones Jodha replied

You should be careful. Your hand is bleeding badly.I have to do something.Jalal bring water to clean her hand and than he tied some herb on the wound.Jodha looked at him.He is concern about her wounds.Might be I am wrong in judging in him.He always cared for me in past and today this incidence also proved that he still worried about me.If he didnt care for me why he saved me?He left me to die with others but he didnt.In Agra he he always look after towards my needs and comforts.He allowed me to follow my faith.He is not that bad.

I hope you are feeling better now Jalal's words break her trance

Yes,Its soothing my wounds.You know about medicinal plants.

I know many things but thing is I dont show them a casual replied from other end.

Should I think again.Should I give another chance to this broken relationship.Am I doing right?

Phir le aaya dil majboor kya kije

Raas na aaya rahana door kya kije

Dil kahraha hai usse maqummal kar bhi aao

Wo jo adhoori si baat baki hai

Wo jo adhoori si yaad baki hai

Wo jo adhoori si yaad baki hai.

Many voices appeared in her head of past.She closed her eyes and picture of Amer appeared .She watched past incidence like a silent viewers.What she was then full of life,head fulled with lots of mischieves,running,laughing was part of life and here too she is running.

Jodha stop troubling people otherwise Mugal king abduct you.He is very cruel.He will control you and teach a lesson.

It wont happen.I wont happen and if he take me with him.I'll turn his life upside down.He will send me back to Amer or I'll impress him with my charm...she winked.I wish time just freez here.This is best part of my life.Later things doesnt happen.

..Jodha behave properly that is your in laws place...

Jodha without you my life is colourless.You are brightest clour of my canvas.

I cant live you without shanshah.Ill die if..

Jodha just get out from my sight...You are biggest mistake of my life...I want to wipe off that mistake.

She is a bitch ,kill her... .She bring bad fortune in the village ...

She should be killed .I enjoy with this young lady today .One strong attack on dacoits and Jodha escaped from the clutch ofdacoits

She open her eyes.She find the right path to follow henceforth.Her heart always land her into trouble so this time she wont follow her heart.Her mind is saying to leave and she will leave him whether he is changed or not.Whether he care for her or not.She has nothing to do with him.She have to save herself from further heartbreak.She collected her shattered life once but she can do this again.I'll break all the ties here and for that if it needs to be harsh and rude.I'll acts heartless.

She tried to move from the place but he block her way.She move right ,he also move right.she move left he also move left.

Enjoyed enough on my expense. Her words were sharp to pierce his heart.

Jodha what nonsense you are uttering.Why I would enjoy on your cost.I never think like that..Jalal tried to cool down the heat of the moment.

What you think ,I have nothing to do with it.I want to leave so please leave my way I am getting late Jodha said.

I wont let you go Jodha till I am done talking with you.We need to talk so please cooperate.Dont be admand.

Since past few days you are saying we need to talk.We need to talk. What is there to talk ? I dont want to talk anything Jodha said furiously

I want to do this,I want to do that .What is this I ,I ,I, Me, mine, myself .Everytime you acts selfish .You always prefer yourself first.Dont you have any idea what other person feel .What your ignoring ,avoiding behaviour done to others .You just decided something in your head and after that you never gave a single chance to explain .Are you that much busy that you dont have some minutes to stay and listen other person's agony or you too start having fun on others misery.Will your heart too stop working .Dont you listen What happened after your departure.How it felt being with many but alone in actual sense.You are in crowd of people but they just dont care for you.People came to you just because they need something from you.You are capable of giving so they are with you otherwise they left you alone.No one is there to ask me how is I am.Did I ate or not.Did I slept well or not.Did I have something to share??? How it felt when you loose something precios beacause of some missunderstanding.How can you be that much harsh and rude Jodha .How can you be Jodha .You cant act like this he holds her arms tightly.

Whats wrong if I act selfish .What world give to kindhearted selfless people.What I get being genrous to everyone.I get nothing so why you expecting me to care about anyone.Truth is that a kind heart always suffer because it thinks everyone same like it is but everyone is not kind.People came to kind people in their tough times because they know its best to cry on shoulder of a soft person.They'll understands you ,help you to overcome your shortcomes. When they achieve what they want they kick kind one first.I was always faithful to you but what I get in return.I always wised for your well being but I didnt get one fair chance to put my points .One mistake will remebered by everyone but thousands of good things forbidden.This is rule of life.Dont do anything for anyone.Left people on their own because if you help someone they'll kick you first.

I know you are doing all this because of that incident .I didnt gave you one fair chance this result of it.You have grudges for me in you heart.

No, you are again misunderstanding me .I dont have any grudges for you.I am thankful to you.Because of you I have learnt very important lesson my life .Infact that incidence doesnt happened in our life I always live in illusion of beautiful fantansy of love ,trust,promise,commitment,loyalty,faithfulness.Truth is that love is myth,promises are taken to break,trust and loyalty,faithfulness and commitment all changes with time.Priority and preference changes with time .This is truth,rest is lie to fool innocent people.

You are right priority and preference changes with time but its same for you and me.My people is my first priority till date and always will be and you always give first priority to yourself.Your first preference is you.

This is not true.

Truth is not always as per our thoughts,it canbe beyond imagination.Just imagine a man's daughter was married to king of enemy kingdom whose identity revealed later.Later circumstances lead the king to abduct the bride from wedding alter.The enemy king and his daughter get along well and than parted ways but what about the father in all this.He might have many sleepless night in worry of his daughter's fortune.Is she fine??What kind of behaviour king did to her.What kind of treatment she received there??? Our animosity will ruin my child's life.How to restore all this.How to keep her safe.At last to put full stop on all his worries he visited his daughter's place and what he found .His daughter was dejected from fort.She was announced a deportee .What will happened to his heart.Didnt he felt guilty for his only child's misfortune.Didnt he curse himself for all this??Didnt he cursed that day of her wedding???Hadnt he rise a sword against king for ruining his daughter's life and didnt many swords would be put on his neck.Didnt he would also considered an enemy who tried to attack king. Hadnt blood shed of many innocents happened due to one mistake of that girl.A father travel all along for his daughter's sake but what the girl returned.She returned nothing to her father.She never stays at her father's side.She came to her husband's place and luxury and comfort of palace blinded her eyes towards her duties to her family.She was so much engrossed in her pleasure that she didnt sent a letter of well being .She didnt found it necessary to ease her families worries.

Enough...enough shanshah .You said too much today.Now I wont tolerate one word of yours.I sent not one but many letters to Amer.I always ensure my father that I am good here in my letters.How can you put such allegations to me.Luxury and comfort is not new to me and I always put my duty first .I always stays with my family in thick and thin.

No you were not with your family in thick and thin.In last one and half year.You never tried to contact them even once.Did you think what will happen in Amer when they found out that you were neither in Amer nor in Agra.You supposed to reach Amer but never reported there.A journey starts from Agra but didnt completed to Amer.DIdnt they tried to find you at every possible place but get disappointed every time.Every hope turns into disappointment.What happen when hopes started to die slowly slowly.Only remorse and regret left in heart.It cause the unbearable pain which you gave to everyone.You knew it that you were right on your place and yu blame me for not trusting you but what you did?? You knew when missunderstanding will clear .I'll try to rectify my mistake.What will happen when things came in front of every one.Didnt you seaw the seed of further animosity between two kingdoms.You cares for these people who is with you in this time span but what about the people who stays with you all those grown up years of your life.your father who forgive your all mistakes,who tried to gave you love of both father and mother,who compensate you every mischief ,who never scold you.Your brother who loved you like his life.You taisa who tried to fulfill the void of you mother.Your grand mother who never lacks affection for you.If you just return to Amer and stays there for few days things werent this bad.Missunderstanding will be cleared.You have complaints with me .We have issues than why you drag them in between.Why you didnt went to Amer? Answer me???What they did???Ohh I get it they married you against your will so you tried to teach them a lesson so when time came you can blame them too.

Just stop it.

Why stop here Jodha .If matter starts it will continue till everything came in open.

Fine than you stay here.I am leaving...

You are not going anywhere Jalal held her wrist tightly.Answer me Jodha ,I am asking you something.Why you didnt went to Amer???

Fine,you want to know.I am telling you.I departed like a deportee what I would say to my father.How I'll face him.He care for me all this year and my return will make him laughing stock.When I left Agra there is only ten soldiers with me.No queenly honour and luxury accompanied me.I was a dejected person and I didnt had the courage to face him like this.I didnt had the courage to meet my family like this.I didnt wished to watch him bow down infront of anyone.He is not answerable to anyone...and one more thing I didnt had strength for one more rejection.It kills...You rejected me I beared it anyhow,I bear harsh words of you but I didnt had strength to bear my family's harsh words.There is limit for my tolrence.I am not like you who keep pain inside,shows the stronger side to the world and fulfill all responsbilities efficiently.I am timid emotional soul.I cant hold emotional breaks...I cant..I failed to deal with my mother's loss.I failed to fill that silence.I failed to cope with lonliness.I did what give that little joy .I commit so many mistakes...I admit I have fear,implusion,timidness,tears,flow with emotions,ruled by heart,insurities,possesiveness,clumsiness,jealosy I have each flaws within me...

There was silence for some minutes and some more minute ... and some more...minutes...

I know you are capable of taking decision but I want to suggest you something.Please visit Amer once for your family's sake.I am sure your pain will be erase after meeting them .Guruji's due respect only paid if you two will go Amer.One more thing came in my mind Shaurya is perfect but he has secrets and nothing can hidden forever.If this truth comes out in future many hearts will break,trust will be shaken.Shaurya born as a brave warrior and need a heroic farewell.This villager is my resonsibilty .I'll take good care of them.I have a plan if you want to sort out all this if you want to continue meet me near river front at evening.

Precap -Jalal is returnig to Agra with all people.Something is fishy and not so good for me.Someone definately change his perspective but who??? Is Jodha...No,Jodha cant she grows hatred for Jalal because of my trick.Jodha No way than who??

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