Posted: 07 January 2015 at 2:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by addicted25
Deepthi thank you this is such a sad story, but the reality is that many women go through this. When inlaws expect boys and end up with girls, its the woman thats blamed. Unless of course if she is the daughter of the house, than it was gods will.
I was blessed with two 9lb + babies( not at the same time) they were healthy, and beautiful. Yes they are boys but as far as I am concerned the first statement is true, even though I gave birth to my MILs first grandson, I was told that I shouldnt have had boys as my sister in law should have had a boy. She and my older brother in law both have three girls each. So thanks to god I royally pissed the family off when I had my second!. God blessed me with healthy children thats all I cared for.
My mother, a woman who has six daughters and an only son,told me of a story, I dont know how this woman was related to me but each time she delivered a girl, the husband would go and abandon in the forest, leaving it to die. After the 6th time, she wouldnt let her husband take her baby and the baby stayed. The next child she had was a boy and so were the next three!.My midwife told me of a family who had five daughters, wanting a son each time, the sixth child was exacty that a son, but he was born deaf and blind.
Frankly I think that unless the law is changed that a son goes to his inlaws home, a daughter stays with her parents even after she is marries, female infanticide/abortion will prevail, just as it has done in China where only one child is allowed.
Women need to understand, and educate themselves if they dont want this to happen to them, and take charge of their lifes their bodies. I know of women in this country who refuse to learn English, in fear of losing their roots and language, but then they become baby making machines, fit for nothing but housework as they themselves are unable to communicate in this world.
Im sikh, and the first thing that I learnt was that Guru Nanak, said that great kings are born of woman, it is woman who brings religion to the child. Of my six siblings, I'm the sixth with a sister a year younger than me. I was the first to get a degree, I earn a good wage, in fact my other half works in the same company, yet I earn more than him.my boys both wear turbans, and have uncut beards. It was because of my belief that thay are the way they are, otherwise their dad would have allowed them to cut their hair, and they would be drinking by now , if I hadnt put my other half straight about that he is their role model. God blessed in many ways, but he gave me one thing that I am most proud of, a mother who taught me that you need to be strong in yourself, if you want children. You must be able to take care of them, therefore an education is essential, and she proved that with seven kids and a' invisble presence' of a father who thought that the state should provide us with a home and food, she brought us all up, married us off and still taught us how to cook, clean, sew knit etc. My brother himself had three boys, but he also adopted two little girls as he had always wanted to do that.All because my mother gave us unconditional love and taught us we were equal in her eyes. All mothers should do that and stand up to their husbands and give them a rollicking if they think differenypt.
Sorry I had to get this out, your writing moves me to tears, and anger THAT my dear friend is a sign of a great writer!
I applaud your mother from the bottom of my heart for the way she stood up in front of society with an 'invisible' husband, gave her daughters and son the right education, values and principles and the strength to be yourself no matter what. Your mother was able to change 7 lives. And each of you bring that change into your children's lives and also maybe into some other lives too. And this thereby create a society which has the right principles and values. Each mother and father is responsible for their children's outlook towards life in general to a larger extent.
In the story, if Karan had been brought up by his parents to respect fellow human beings and be sensitive towards them, such a monster won't be created, then lives of five girls would have been saved, and maybe the sixth one too.
Its heartening to see so many of us who have such strong feelings about female foeticide. Deepu, you took the first step against it by starting this story. Let each of us in our own small way, educate people around us about it maybe by bringing the topic in a casual conversation between family, friends, colleagues etc, or by giving support to one of them who needs it in this matter, by educating our children about it etc . These are small steps, but can bring a lot of change.
Deepu take a bow for the change you are bringing in us through your ffs. There will be a lot of readers whose viewpoint may have changed for the better just by reading your ffs. I applaud you too for the change you started and thereby encouraging us too to do the same in our own possible ways.
ps: I don't remember the name of the author who wrote in her ff such profound words. Not exact the same words, 'when a mother gives birth to son especially, she has the extra responsibility to instill in him to be sensitive to human beings, specially to women of all ages, to treat them with respect and care to understand the emotional needs, which are different, but is essential for the balance of nature. And this starts at home, by making sure he does it to the women of the family. This ensures that he becomes a man who is worthy of the world.
I believe this is something each mother should take responsibility for when she bears a child irrespective of whether its a boy or girl.