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ArShi FF: Sex between Hearts - Thread 2 (Page 119)

canapoem IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 12:14pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by kaprasin

True deepthi. Coming from south have never realized the enormous of this situation. And it is 100% true that parents in the name of protection don't allow to see the outside world. It was my case too. Luckily got good people around me. Can't say that with everyone else.

I was saying the same thing to my husband last evening that how lucky I am that my parents never made me and my sister feel that we are daughters and not sons.
I cannot imagine the kind of mental trauma girls undergo when their parents constantly remind them that they are girls who are unwanted and that they always wanted sons. 

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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 12:19pm | IP Logged

[/QUOTE]
Deepthi, KK knows me only as Kavitha. LOL

She will be surprised how Kavitha became KK.

So glad KK you read the story and liked it. I have always loved your comments on the common stories we follow and Deepthi also will see soon how amazing  your comments and the insights you bring into the issues will be. 
[/QUOTE]

Thanks kavitha, why are you kk? although it makes more sense for you to be k or kk!
thank you for appreciating my thoughts and having the patience to read them. yours has me thinking as well...  may be this will lead us to work towards woman empowerment?

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addicted25 Senior Member
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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 3:45pm | IP Logged
Deepthi thank you this is such a sad story, but the reality is that many women go through this. When inlaws expect boys and end up with girls, its the woman thats blamed. Unless of course if she is the daughter of the house, than it was gods will.
I was blessed with two 9lb + babies( not at the same time) they were healthy, and beautiful. Yes they are boys but as far as I am concerned the first statement is true, even though I gave birth to my MILs first grandson, I was told that I shouldnt have had boys as my sister in law should have had a boy. She and my older brother in law both have three girls each. So thanks to god I royally pissed the family off when I had my second!. God blessed me with healthy children thats all I cared for.
My mother, a woman who has six daughters and an only son,told me of a story, I dont know how this woman was related to me but each time she delivered a girl, the husband would go and abandon in the forest, leaving it to die. After the 6th time, she wouldnt let her husband take her baby and the baby stayed. The next child she had was a boy and so were the next three!.My midwife told me of a family who had five daughters, wanting a son each time, the sixth child was exacty that a son, but he was born deaf and blind.

Frankly I think that unless the law is changed that a son goes to his inlaws home, a daughter stays with her parents even after she is marries, female infanticide/abortion will prevail, just as it has done in China where only one child is allowed.

Women need to understand, and educate themselves if they dont want this to happen to them, and take charge of their lifes their bodies. I know of women in this country who refuse to learn English, in fear of losing their roots and language, but then they become baby making machines, fit for nothing but housework as they themselves are unable to communicate in this world.
Im sikh, and the first thing that I learnt was that Guru Nanak, said that great kings are born of woman, it is woman who brings religion to the child. Of my six siblings, I'm the sixth with a sister a year younger than me. I was the first to get a degree, I earn a good wage, in fact my other half works in the same company, yet I earn more than him.my boys both wear turbans, and have uncut beards. It was because of my belief that thay are the way they are, otherwise their dad would have allowed them to cut their hair, and they would be drinking by now , if I hadnt put my other half straight about that he is their role model. God blessed in many ways, but he gave me one thing that I am most proud of, a mother who taught me that you need to be strong in yourself, if you want children. You must be able to take care of them, therefore an education is essential, and she proved that with seven kids and a' invisble presence' of a father who thought that the state should provide us with a home and food, she brought us all up, married us off and still taught us how to cook, clean, sew knit etc. My brother himself had three boys, but he also adopted two little girls as he had always wanted to do that.All because my mother gave us unconditional love and taught us we were equal in her eyes. All mothers should do that and stand up to their husbands and give them a rollicking if they think differenypt.

Sorry I had to get this out, your writing moves me to tears, and anger THAT my dear friend is a sign of a great writer! Clap Clap Clap

Edited by addicted25 - 06 January 2015 at 3:48pm

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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 4:12pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by addicted25

Deepthi thank you this is such a sad story, but the reality is that many women go through this. When inlaws expect boys and end up with girls, its the woman thats blamed. Unless of course if she is the daughter of the house, than it was gods will.
I was blessed with two 9lb + babies( not at the same time) they were healthy, and beautiful. Yes they are boys but as far as I am concerned the first statement is true, even though I gave birth to my MILs first grandson, I was told that I shouldnt have had boys as my sister in law should have had a boy. She and my older brother in law both have three girls each. So thanks to god I royally pissed the family off when I had my second!. God blessed me with healthy children thats all I cared for.
My mother, a woman who has six daughters and an only son,told me of a story, I dont know how this woman was related to me but each time she delivered a girl, the husband would go and abandon in the forest, leaving it to die. After the 6th time, she wouldnt let her husband take her baby and the baby stayed. The next child she had was a boy and so were the next three!.My midwife told me of a family who had five daughters, wanting a son each time, the sixth child was exacty that a son, but he was born deaf and blind.

Frankly I think that unless the law is changed that a son goes to his inlaws home, a daughter stays with her parents even after she is marries, female infanticide/abortion will prevail, just as it has done in China where only one child is allowed.

Women need to understand, and educate themselves if they dont want this to happen to them, and take charge of their lifes their bodies. I know of women in this country who refuse to learn English, in fear of losing their roots and language, but then they become baby making machines, fit for nothing but housework as they themselves are unable to communicate in this world.
Im sikh, and the first thing that I learnt was that Guru Nanak, said that great kings are born of woman, it is woman who brings religion to the child. Of my six siblings, I'm the sixth with a sister a year younger than me. I was the first to get a degree, I earn a good wage, in fact my other half works in the same company, yet I earn more than him.my boys both wear turbans, and have uncut beards. It was because of my belief that thay are the way they are, otherwise their dad would have allowed them to cut their hair, and they would be drinking by now , if I hadnt put my other half straight about that he is their role model. God blessed in many ways, but he gave me one thing that I am most proud of, a mother who taught me that you need to be strong in yourself, if you want children. You must be able to take care of them, therefore an education is essential, and she proved that with seven kids and a' invisble presence' of a father who thought that the state should provide us with a home and food, she brought us all up, married us off and still taught us how to cook, clean, sew knit etc. My brother himself had three boys, but he also adopted two little girls as he had always wanted to do that.All because my mother gave us unconditional love and taught us we were equal in her eyes. All mothers should do that and stand up to their husbands and give them a rollicking if they think differenypt.

Sorry I had to get this out, your writing moves me to tears, and anger THAT my dear friend is a sign of a great writer! Clap Clap Clap


Thank you so much for sharing this. I salute your mother, an inspiration and a role model to every woman in this world. Indeed your mother is right, we need to be very strong to raise children under so many social pressures.

I always believed society will change if the change happens at home. If parents focus more on the family needs than society needs, dont you think life of children becomes much more simpler and breathable. 

And if you actually get to the bottom of this issue, its all because of the greed for money. Money can make people go to any atrocious levels. Its the saddest reality of our lives. 

Thank you once again dear!


Edited by deepthiya - 06 January 2015 at 4:10pm

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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
What a wonderful story.
Kushi asking for just a kick, reminded me the time when I was pregnant with both children I used to get worried if I couldn't feel baby's kick for more than an hour.
For the first I went to india for my delivery and had lot of complications.When I used to get really worried most of the time we end in hospital to check her heart beat.
For the second one I had to get a heart beat monitor to keep my blood pressure in control.
What Kushi Was going through is some thing which I can't even imagin. You have written Kushi's pain beautifully.

I had to tell you some thing.My sister have two girls and she accidentally became pregnant for the third time when she was 38.Husband and wife both are highly educated and working aboard.
They don't have any pressure from laws or parents Unfortunately she came back to india and had an abortion.
I came to know about all these after she had done it.
Whatever reason she gave I couldn't tolerate that she had an abortion of a healthy baby and that too when she was in her 16 th week.I don't understand how could a doctor agree for that,
Was she worried that it was going to be another baby girl or was she worried about her job.
(She convinced my parents saying that her health is really bad that she can't have another child.
And it disgusted me,because bottom of my heart I know why they did an abortion.I know it's their decision but I lost whatever respect I had for them.And the relation too.Why every one think abortion is not a murder.Its easy to kill a life inside the womb.

Any way right after that I became pregnant for the second time.
I had a healthy baby boy.I still remember when the sonographer said that we are going to have baby boy(we live in UK)my husband said he would have been more happy if it was a girl .
I have this feeling in the bottom of my heart that Allah had given me baby which my sister killed.
I haven't shared this feeling with anyone else .
Your story has moved me so much that I had to share it with you




Edited by owin - 06 January 2015 at 4:47pm

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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 4:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by canapoem

Originally posted by kaprasin

True deepthi. Coming from south have never realized the enormous of this situation. And it is 100% true that parents in the name of protection don't allow to see the outside world. It was my case too. Luckily got good people around me. Can't say that with everyone else.

I was saying the same thing to my husband last evening that how lucky I am that my parents never made me and my sister feel that we are daughters and not sons.
I cannot imagine the kind of mental trauma girls undergo when their parents constantly remind them that they are girls who are unwanted and that they always wanted sons. 


K,
confinement can extend in all directions, including not providing education, sheltering from the cruel world (where they grow up unaware of the harsh realities. at least be bold enough to discuss issues, so that the girls can think, have an independent mind and be bold enough), not being supportive ( i know in some cases once married, the girl is expected to go through all kinds of hardship simply because...), social stigma, and what not. and this exists even in families where the daughters are well educated, and loved. but once it is time to marry them off, something happens to clear thinking...

i cannot even begin to believe the so called honor killings that has now come in to existence. they kill their children and talk about honor. what honor? when they are nothing but cold blooded murderers?

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Srilathalolla IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 6:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by owin

What a wonderful story.
Kushi asking for just a kick, reminded me the time when I was pregnant with both children I used to get worried if I couldn't feel baby's kick for more than an hour.
For the first I went to india for my delivery and had lot of complications.When I used to get really worried most of the time we end in hospital to check her heart beat.
For the second one I had to get a heart beat monitor to keep my blood pressure in control.
What Kushi Was going through is some thing which I can't even imagin. You have written Kushi's pain beautifully.

I had to tell you some thing.My sister have two girls and she accidentally became pregnant for the third time when she was 38.Husband and wife both are highly educated and working aboard.
They don't have any pressure from laws or parents Unfortunately she came back to india and had an abortion.
I came to know about all these after she had done it.
Whatever reason she gave I couldn't tolerate that she had an abortion of a healthy baby and that too when she was in her 16 th week.I don't understand how could a doctor agree for that,
Was she worried that it was going to be another baby girl or was she worried about her job.
(She convinced my parents saying that her health is really bad that she can't have another child.
And it disgusted me,because bottom of my heart I know why they did an abortion.I know it's their decision but I lost whatever respect I had for them.And the relation too.Why every one think abortion is not a murder.Its easy to kill a life inside the womb.

Any way right after that I became pregnant for the second time.
I had a healthy baby boy.I still remember when the sonographer said that we are going to have baby boy(we live in UK)my husband said he would have been more happy if it was a girl .
I have this feeling in the bottom of my heart that Allah had given me baby which my sister killed.
I haven't shared this feeling with anyone else .
Your story has moved me so much that I had to share it with you



I agree with you , abortion is same as murder. Clap

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Srilathalolla IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 06 January 2015 at 6:06pm | IP Logged
Deepthi because of you today I am able to see so many strong women who are raising the future in a correct way and I can see a ray of hope. All the credit goes to your writing dear. God bless you and your family. LOVE YOU. Clap

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