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ArShi FF: Sex between Hearts - Thread 2 (Page 117)

ManKiBaath Senior Member
ManKiBaath
ManKiBaath

Joined: 21 April 2014
Posts: 978

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 8:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by canapoem

Originally posted by bhavali4RR

res
*********************

Dear Khushi, my apologies that I cannot afford even a bit of sympathy for you because all of that is already consumed by that little heart which you are still trying to figure if its beating or not? For a moment, I cannot help but wonder - what should that little angel's heart actually beat for? -  a father who actually wants to stop the beating, grandparents who wish it never should have been beating, a mother who is not sure if it's even beating, and a doctor who was just waiting for the right time to stop the beating.


OMG, Manasa the above comment in red surely made me cry more. Now the only thing I can see is a small tiny weeping heart in Khushi's womb asking me "What is my fault in all of this?"Cry

And I dont have an answer to it. I want to hug it, kiss it and say that you are very precious not only to your mother but to every mother on this planet. If not for these tiny heart beats, there is nothing else in this world worth loving or worth living. So dear, dont lose hope. Your cry, your pain will never go waste and you will come into someone's life like a bright light and illuminate their lives for ever.

 
And neither do I.  I don't have an iota of doubt that Deepthi will make up for this loss as the story progresses.  I'm just going to sit tight and wait for those moments.

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ShahSAIRToxicLovecanapoem

ManKiBaath Senior Member
ManKiBaath
ManKiBaath

Joined: 21 April 2014
Posts: 978

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 9:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by deepthiya

Originally posted by bhavali4RR

res
*********************
Deepthi,

Before I get into despair or outrage or elation about the story, I cannot help but say that, ideas are great arrows and neither one realizes its potential until they find the right bow. And "bow" is not just what you are, it's also something that I am doing right now for the subject you have chosen and for the method of delicateness and seriousness you are handling it with.
To borrow a quote -  "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." All that world's a fool, which does realize what a child is, and more importantly, does not realize what a girl child is. 

I am loving these quotes you guys are introducing me to. 

Dear Khushi, my apologies that I cannot afford even a bit of sympathy for you because all of that is already consumed by that little heart which you are still trying to figure if its beating or not? For a moment, I cannot help but wonder - what should that little angel's heart actually beat for? -  a father who actually wants to stop the beating, grandparents who wish it never should have been beating, a mother who is not sure if it's even beating, and a doctor who was just waiting for the right time to stop the beating.

To continue on - Khushi, you were part of the same ignorant society and also inadvertently joined the bandwagon of mistaken fools. Yes, I know that you are realizing the pain now, and all I can wish for you is that your pain will make you suffer, and that suffering would make you learn and that learning will make you turn your wounds into wisdom.

I do not wish to even elaborate on the likes of Khushi's husband, his parents, Deshmukh's and her nurses of this world. We can go name after name caricaturing all the different shapes and sizes they all come in. But every caricature we draw will end up with the same devilish heart which should make us all cringe at its sight. What a sad state of things and I guess that's what makes this story every bit relevant and that's what makes you every bit precious, not only for choosing it but for also making us all feel it.

For all the despair I am feeling, there is always light at the end of the tunnel in the shape of the likes of Arnav'. For all the shock and bewilderment that Arnav felt when Khushi grabbed his hand and splayed it on her stomach, I will predict that he will soon realize that the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with heart. And that is what both Khushi and the little angel's heart would have felt and that is what Arnav would feel in the near future.

My apologies for adding on to the emotions of the story. But this chapter was worth the emotions that came out of so many and I will be the first one to admit that I am one of the many that were guilty as charged.

Eagerly waiting for more.

Manasa, You moved me to tears with this brilliant review dear. Especially the lines that expressed the inner turmoil of an unborn heart.  I have to admit, as a writer it hurts me more because there were quite a lot of brutal facts I had to filter it down before I presented this chapter to you all. Your every word targeted the facts that I decided to shelve and not to present them, not to make it any more emotional than this has been. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such beautiful portrayal of entire chapter. Hug


Deepthi, A sincere request from you from the bottom of my heart, please do not withhold details and let's keep this story as real as it can get. I'm not looking for a gruesome story but something that will send a message to the audience that the act of "child-bearing" is most precious and it be protected by all means.

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jeetegaShahSAIRToxicLovejyothirockzSrilathalollacanapoem

ToxicLove IF-Dazzler
ToxicLove
ToxicLove

Joined: 06 December 2011
Posts: 3332

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 9:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by bhavali4RR

Originally posted by deepthiya

Originally posted by bhavali4RR

res
*********************
Deepthi,

Before I get into despair or outrage or elation about the story, I cannot help but say that, ideas are great arrows and neither one realizes its potential until they find the right bow. And "bow" is not just what you are, it's also something that I am doing right now for the subject you have chosen and for the method of delicateness and seriousness you are handling it with.
To borrow a quote -  "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." All that world's a fool, which does realize what a child is, and more importantly, does not realize what a girl child is. 

I am loving these quotes you guys are introducing me to. 

Dear Khushi, my apologies that I cannot afford even a bit of sympathy for you because all of that is already consumed by that little heart which you are still trying to figure if its beating or not? For a moment, I cannot help but wonder - what should that little angel's heart actually beat for? -  a father who actually wants to stop the beating, grandparents who wish it never should have been beating, a mother who is not sure if it's even beating, and a doctor who was just waiting for the right time to stop the beating.

To continue on - Khushi, you were part of the same ignorant society and also inadvertently joined the bandwagon of mistaken fools. Yes, I know that you are realizing the pain now, and all I can wish for you is that your pain will make you suffer, and that suffering would make you learn and that learning will make you turn your wounds into wisdom.

I do not wish to even elaborate on the likes of Khushi's husband, his parents, Deshmukh's and her nurses of this world. We can go name after name caricaturing all the different shapes and sizes they all come in. But every caricature we draw will end up with the same devilish heart which should make us all cringe at its sight. What a sad state of things and I guess that's what makes this story every bit relevant and that's what makes you every bit precious, not only for choosing it but for also making us all feel it.

For all the despair I am feeling, there is always light at the end of the tunnel in the shape of the likes of Arnav'. For all the shock and bewilderment that Arnav felt when Khushi grabbed his hand and splayed it on her stomach, I will predict that he will soon realize that the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with heart. And that is what both Khushi and the little angel's heart would have felt and that is what Arnav would feel in the near future.

My apologies for adding on to the emotions of the story. But this chapter was worth the emotions that came out of so many and I will be the first one to admit that I am one of the many that were guilty as charged.

Eagerly waiting for more.

Manasa, You moved me to tears with this brilliant review dear. Especially the lines that expressed the inner turmoil of an unborn heart.  I have to admit, as a writer it hurts me more because there were quite a lot of brutal facts I had to filter it down before I presented this chapter to you all. Your every word targeted the facts that I decided to shelve and not to present them, not to make it any more emotional than this has been. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such beautiful portrayal of entire chapter. Hug


Deepthi, A sincere request from you from the bottom of my heart, please do not withhold details and let's keep this story as real as it can get. I'm not looking for a gruesome story but something that will send a message to the audience that the act of "child-bearing" is most precious and it be protected by all means.


Sure will do 

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ManKiBaathjeetegaShahSAIRjyothirockzSrilathalollacanapoem

ks_Larhi Senior Member
ks_Larhi
ks_Larhi

Joined: 30 July 2014
Posts: 486

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 9:41am | IP Logged
No words di.. Amazing writing..
But it's very dis-heartening to knw that ppl like karan exists even now..

Edited by ks_Larhi - 06 January 2015 at 9:40am

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ToxicLove

vanility Senior Member
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vanility

Joined: 21 February 2011
Posts: 299

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 10:15am | IP Logged
Deeps.. I have already commented on the update... this note is to ask you to please update soon. ..
even in office im thinking about the story... cant wait any longer..i know u r calling me greedy but pls update sooon.

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ToxicLoveShahSAIRcanapoem

kushikumari Goldie
kushikumari
kushikumari

Joined: 08 May 2012
Posts: 1113

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 10:39am | IP Logged
First of all, thank you for making female infanticide a part of your story. An ugly, bitter truth and no amount of discussion and awareness on this subject is actually enough. A vicious, vicious cycle that gets fed one way or another...

I come from the south and yes, it does happen there, but it wasn't until my visit to Rajasthan a few years back that the enormity of the situation actually hit me. more like a massive punch in the guts, really. an absolute shame to our society, especially considering where our roots originally come from.

coming to the story itself, i feel kushi's innocence, backed (i am guessing) with a lack of proper education. In spite of such events happening on a large scale, it is quite sad that young girls are not brought up street smart, but trained to serve, obey and not think much. i don't think i can add much to your prologue Deepthi, you have said it all.

Keep writing dear, look forward to the next installment...

-kk

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jeetegaShahSAIRToxicLoveSrilathalollacanapoem

nikita-nair Senior Member
nikita-nair
nikita-nair

Joined: 03 April 2012
Posts: 689

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 11:02am | IP Logged
i was literally crying wen d phrases like dismembrd limbs were used...hv tears in ma eyes right now...
.
.
i jst lvd this updte.. touching..
.
.
now d real game starts...cant wait for d nxt updte...

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ToxicLove

kushikumari Goldie
kushikumari
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Joined: 08 May 2012
Posts: 1113

Posted: 06 January 2015 at 11:02am | IP Logged
[QUOTE=canapoem]
yatra nryastu pjyante ramante tatra devat|
 yatraitstu na pjyante sarvstatrphal kriy 

The divine are extremely happy where women are respected ;
where they are not, all actions (projects) are fruitless.


Kavitha, thank you dear, for connecting me with this story.

Absolutely love your thoughts. Yes, the vedic times were quite something. There was a purity in people back then that did not call out to insecurities, pandering to ego, and such. how beautiful it must have been to be a part of that life! women were equal, women had a voice, women were respected immensely.

it is also said that if the husband is considered as 'parameshwara', then the woman is shakti. if she is strong, if she practices clarity in her thoughts, actions and speech, then she not only brings happiness and success, but also inculcates positive virtues in her children. but if a woman cannot be that light, then there is a fall in virtues. the power she holds to nurture or destroy is immense - hence shakti.

unfortunately, times are such that growth ends with a college education/ climbing the ladder at work places. where as in truth, this is simply not enough. introspection is a must, with a strong desire to grow into a better person.

may be we can all make a small change, within ourselves first? replace the ego and anger with reasoning, leading to clear thinking. and then extend this to people around us. and then hope the circle widens?

have rambled enough, thanks for reading!

kk

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jeetegaShahSAIRToxicLoveSrilathalollacanapoem

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