Posted: 26 December 2014 at 3:08am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rabees011
Sanam I feel should buy another zameen away from Bhojpur hill station. I am sure she has saved up some money from her dhaba business in Punjab during her initial days. She should restart her dhaba and make Haya and Seher her helping hands. When she manages to gain success, she should open a chain of dhabas. In the meanwhile she should transfer all the property to Aahil's name and I am sure after this, Tanveer will get everything transferred in her own name. She will then kick Aahil out. The Khan sisters (the trio) can start living in Khan Villa after Dilshad makes a comeback from Punjab to join them and reclaim Khan Villa by exposing Munisa before Raahat. Raahat, Haya, Dilshad, and Seher can live there happily while Aahil will roam around the streets singing "Awara bhavre jo haule haule gaaye." Then he can come back to Sanam's doorstep at Khan Villa and beg her for forgiveness. Once he returns, Dilshad can give him a piece of her mind and reveal to him that his current house is the house of her husband Rashid Ahmed Khan and even show him the ownership papers. His reaction will be worth watching as he will then realize that asli owner hai kaun. Itne dino se jisko ghar ka naukar banake rakha wohi asli maalkin nikli! Facepalm!!
He has turned Sanam into a servant only because he knows Sanam does not earn, she is not educated enough to get a high-paying job, she doesn't have a family that can support her, she has a grandmother who is in hospital (according to him) and a sister who was disabled but recently she has gained back her faculties and is now married (and completely unaware and uninterested in Sanam), so she can't defend Sanam either. Sanam was a cook who used to own a dhaba. She was a cook and a mulazim at his house who was insulted left, right, and centre by everyone except Rehan. Therefore, she can be turned into a servant once again as she has no family, money, sufficient bank balance or ground to stand on (other than the grounds of his house and money provided by him). This is his perception about Sanam that she is nothing but a SERVANT as she comes from a POOR FAMILY!! This is the only reason why he turned her back into a servant. If she was from an affluent background and was educated with a decent income, then he wouldn't have had the audacity to drag her and turn her into a servant again. Instead he probably would have just told her to leave.
I want Sanam to BREAK THIS IMAGE NOT BECAUSE I want her to prove it to Aahil and be equal with him. It's because I want her to make her own present and future so that she has some source of security along with an identity of her OWN. Once she has done that, I want her to secure her future by herself by owning Khan Villa and saving up enough money to provide for herself as well as her family.
Then later on when she accepts Aahil, I also wish she doesn't change her last name. Changing of last name is not recommended or suggested by Islam as last names indicate a person's lineage by hinting a connection with the mother or father (mostly it's the father's last name and on the Day of Judgement people will be called by their mother's last name according to Islam). Sanam is an independent girl of the 21st century and she has got nothing to do with Aahil's lineage. She is a part of Asya's lineage. Besides, identity shouldn't be based on one's relationship/ matrimonial status as spouses are strangers with whom people share no blood ties (unless they are cousins from the same side) and thus have nothing to do with their lineage. In addition, once married, a person can also get divorced and will have to revert back to their original last names. However, the identity that a person gets from sharing their last name with one of the parents is something permanent, not temporary. Even if the parents die or abandon their children, it will always remain a fact that he/she is related to his/her parents by blood. Therefore, sharing last names with parents/taking on the last names of parents is the rule in Islam.
If one claims that she is taking on her husband's last name out of love or a sense of belonging to him, then shouldn't the husband also feel the same way and take on her last name out of love, a sense of belonging and undying affection to show the world that his newfound identity is that he is the husband of so and so? Why is it only women who are asked to CHANGE be it changing their lifestyles or surnames? Why should her identity be dependent on someone to whom she isn't related by blood and has a chance to obtain divorce from? Wouldn't it be better to reserve the spaces after our first names for our parents? If parents weren't there, then we wouldn't be here in this world in the first place. So, as a sense of gratitude and as a result of the blood ties we share with our parents, we should associate our identities by taking on their last names only regardless of marital/relationship status.
That way BOTH men and women would be equal in terms of preserving their respective identities and it should be okay for a a child to decide to stick to his/her mother's or father's last name as they both are his/her sources of origin. In summation, our primary identity should ALWAYS be derived from the last names of our parents. Later on in life we create our own identities or secondary identities by the type of work we do, the contribution we make to society, and the type of behaviour we engage in while interacting with others and dealing with situations.
Sorry for my rant, I am just frustrated by Sanam and Aahil's dumb behaviour.
In my mind, Sanam just blurts out the painful truth to Aahil. Just like the time she told him he revealed his childhood abuse after the Bhaang-apple pie.
He resists her, calls her a liar, and refuses to accept it as truth. Sanam then leaves, telling him, "One day, you will realize I was right. Until you do, I cannot be with you. Love is rooted in trust , Aahil. Sorry, but we are not in that safe level yet. Good bye..."
That way, her responsibility toward him is upheld. She told him the horrible truth, to save him from his past. But the person must want to be rescued in the first place. What if he is in a worse state because his one pillar of strength was a mirage, a rotten moth-eaten one?
Would that kill Aahil even more? His whole life was centered around Tanveer. It would be devastating for him I feel.
Marriage is bond made out of love, strengthened by trust and tolerance. If you love your husband so much, you'd do anything for him, and he for you too. Two way street.
Most marriages are unfair on the woman's side , she is expected to be the mother's replacement; and to respectfully step back when his mother visits. looking at it in a outsider standpoint; it looks like the wife is always the outsider, leaving her family for his. And his having the right to cast her out again feels horribly unfair.
But our mothers' taught us that we should never allow ourselves to be stepped on. Always carry ourselves with dignity and behave in an accountable way in the eyes of God.
Edit: sorry had to stop there to go feed my family! ! Hahaha. ...
Yes I agree, a woman brings her upbringing into her marriage, her father's name.that upbringing is passed on together with the husband's (ideally ) to the children. I think using the husband's surname is optional.
On QH, its used like a romantic thing. .. personally the Ahmed Khan name carries more dignity to me...
Islam is spread to different regions and it's Laws are often adapted to suit the community it assimilated into. Some Muslim communities in India still take dowry (in a different name, of course ) for daughters in marriage, despite the Laws being opposite in Sharia. .. it depends on which scholar's teaching is ascribed.
Legality aside, marriages should be between two compatible people who trust each other. When trust is shaky, everything becomes a battle...
Coming back to QH... they have bent and twisted marriage Laws beyond recognition. Now ignoring both wives of their rights over him is just lazy writing.
If they wanted to wade into polygamy as an issue, they should've been ready to deal with the complications of the thorny issue.
Good write up Rabees011.
Edited by sageflower7 - 26 December 2014 at 4:52am