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Karnpriya (Page 6)

Shalini09 Newbie
Shalini09
Shalini09

Joined: 08 November 2014
Posts: 49

Posted: 15 January 2015 at 3:15am | IP Logged
LOVED THE UPDATE DEAR...SEND ME THE NEXT PART TOO! Smile

JyotsnaSharma Senior Member
JyotsnaSharma
JyotsnaSharma

Joined: 06 March 2014
Posts: 402

Posted: 17 January 2015 at 2:36pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by prachi_vrushan

Thanx for d pm dear
I really like it

Wlcm ty too will update
JyotsnaSharma Senior Member
JyotsnaSharma
JyotsnaSharma

Joined: 06 March 2014
Posts: 402

Posted: 17 January 2015 at 2:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Shalini09

LOVED THE UPDATE DEAR...SEND ME THE NEXT PART TOO! Smile

Ok will update soonEmbarrassed
JyotsnaSharma Senior Member
JyotsnaSharma
JyotsnaSharma

Joined: 06 March 2014
Posts: 402

Posted: 17 January 2015 at 2:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Aartii26

Beautiful update.. Smile

Was it thanksTongue
JyotsnaSharma Senior Member
JyotsnaSharma
JyotsnaSharma

Joined: 06 March 2014
Posts: 402

Posted: 17 January 2015 at 3:56pm | IP Logged
THANKS FOR THE LOVELY REVIEWS DEAR KARNALISTongue


A SHORT UPDATE

The Restlessness. ... chapter 3.1
********************

  Trigatha Naresh gleamed cheerfully looking at draupadi ...
 i wondered whether it was his last smile of  his lustful pride
he entered the ranga mandap
took permission of king drupad
and Drishtadyumna 
his hand bend down to take the bow out 
he failed
 he tried again now  with his full might he was  soon covered by the sweat of nervousness he lunged out once more but  that was unsuccessful attempt in vain.
Panchaali smiled at his misery faintly but there was a burst out of laughter and rude nasty comments from other  kings which further broke his confidence .
Drishtadyumna said that he is satisfied with the effort and requested him to  kindly take back his seat one could witness the embarrassed eyes of the naresh but Rather he decided to go back to his kingdom than to sulk in this insulting swayamwar

One after  one Kings came 
mighty princes soon let their fate and  ego burnt under the weight of that mighty Dhanush
it was a shameful to witness each King lose like this
it was a weird irony that each Prince who laughed on others will soon be haunted back with those lovely comments they passed on former.

But between all this commotion I saw my Lion he was calm and peaceful and watched every attempt serenely
He nevertheless being a gifted Archer himself did not Muse in any such insults or laughter.

He was straight faced and kept his sharp black  eyes only on his target his aim 

The Eye of the rotating fish.

soon a name was announced which had the power to shiver of his enemies before war.
Hastinapur yuvraaj Raj Kumar
Suyodhana  padhar rhe h 
he was indeed a handsome fellow
but one could witness a cold lust in his eyes to make the fire princess a jewel in his palace.

a wish that was soon going to be true but little did he knew a jewel in the palace of his brother.

suyodhana entered the swaymvar mandap
where he was bestowed with smiles Good wishes from My lord... (Angaraj) and his mamashree shakuni
all his brothers hailed  for their jyestha to win the fire born.

"Pranipaat  maharaja drupad 
yuvraaj Drishtadyumna 
avaem sneh drupad kumari ko 
(and love to draupadi)
he was the first one who held the mighty bow in his arms 
Even was able to string the bow

now I could easily see a little stress in panchali's eyes
she glanced at Maadhav supposedly asking a question through her eyes...
Maadhav smiled relieving all her tension.
Prince suyodhana was able to string the bow now but he failed at striking the Target...

I could easily see the dissatisfaction and dissolved confidence in his face...
but none of the kings laughed 
or commented... now perhaps 
fearful of his prowess
or were glad that at least one of the Kshatriya was able to string the bow...

soon he returned to his place
Karna kept his hand on suyodhana shoulder and said 
"Don't let this make you sad..
Mitra
you are a gadadhari friend still you gave your best when even great archers like rukmi and shishupal faced a defeat!"

mitra will u?... A requesting tone of suyodhana

karn  said "Mitra I have the skill and the knowledge to shoot the arrow exactly at the eye...

agar niyati ne saath diya toh panchaali kya purn panchal aapko samarpit...(if fate is in my way not only panchaali  I'll submit you the whole panchal)"Shocked

mamashree intervened putra suyodhana
if Angaraj wins she will be his wife his Angarani

don't let her beauty enchant you our goal here is to win panchal's heart not of panchali's
score a good relation with them

suyodhana nodded mitra win her as your wife...
Karn smiled 

A name (which is highly appreciated here ) was announced.. this name needs no description 
 Angapradesh  naresh Angaraaj 
Karna padhaar rhe h 
the man whom I had fall for today seems like we are ages lost lovers ...the man with Golden Aura the warmth of his glory {perhaps his heart} surrounded the whole swaymvar hall  but supriyaa wake up from your daydreaming..
OH NO !!!!! 
WHAT IF HE Wins her??
Bharata Drishtadyumna said he is a gifted Archer...
what if??
no no no ... priya think positively
many dhanushdhari failed ...
but he cannot be categorized in many... 
he was the disciple of the great Bhargava of bhirgu race Bhagwan  Parshuram indeed and his eyes were locked at the eye of the rotating fish

He could only be compared with 
Lord Mahadev in his glory and wrath
 Mahadev stop him ...all I needed right now was a boon in this noon.. like  Mahadev or 
Sun God  (since it was noon)
to come down to earth & say
"Hey Baalika...you are good and kind and you have prayed to me
everyday of your life .And for that ask me for any boon and that shall be granted."
Now the trouble was...
I wasn't particularly  good nor kind and certainly had not prayed everyday...
A thick muddle of sweat was showcasing  like a banner on my forehead  
calm down said my inner voice.
deep breathing usually helps.
Try it... I told myself.
I breathed in. then out..
Nothing happened try again ...  In Out.
Out In .
Nothing. Nothing.
I was choking. 
This was not a problem to be solved through intakes of 
O'2.
But there was someone getting
more restless than me.Shocked









The following 7 member(s) liked the above post:

Aarti_...Hemangidhivyakrish31sania_58shiningstar77RadhikeraniNandita_Siddian

JyotsnaSharma Senior Member
JyotsnaSharma
JyotsnaSharma

Joined: 06 March 2014
Posts: 402

Posted: 17 January 2015 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
THANKS FOR THE LOVELY REVIEWS DEAR KARNALISTongue


A SHORT UPDATE
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The Restlessness. ... chapter 3.1
*************************************

  Trigatha Naresh gleamed cheerfully looking at draupadi ...
 i wondered whether it was his last smile of  his lustful pride
he entered the ranga mandap
took permission of king drupad
and Drishtadyumna 
his hand bend down to take the bow out 
he failed
 he tried again now  with his full might he was  soon covered by the sweat of nervousness he lunged out once more but  that was unsuccessful attempt in vain.
Panchaali smiled at his misery faintly but there was a burst out of laughter and rude nasty comments from other  kings which further broke his confidence .
Drishtadyumna said that he is satisfied with the effort and requested him to  kindly take back his seat one could witness the embarrassed eyes of the naresh but Rather he decided to go back to his kingdom than to sulk in this insulting swayamwar

One after  one Kings came 
mighty princes soon let their fate and  ego burnt under the weight of that mighty Dhanush
it was a shameful to witness each King lose like this
it was a weird irony that each Prince who laughed on others will soon be haunted back with those lovely comments they passed on former.

But between all this commotion I saw my Lion he was calm and peaceful and watched every attempt serenely
He nevertheless being a gifted Archer himself did not Muse in any such insults or laughter.

He was straight faced and kept his sharp black  eyes only on his target his aim 

The Eye of the rotating fish.

soon a name was announced which had the power to shiver of his enemies before war.
Hastinapur yuvraaj Raj Kumar
Suyodhana  padhar rhe h 
he was indeed a handsome fellow
but one could witness a cold lust in his eyes to make the fire princess a jewel in his palace.

a wish that was soon going to be true but little did he knew a jewel in the palace of his brother.

suyodhana entered the swaymvar mandap
where he was bestowed with smiles Good wishes from My lord... (Angaraj) and his mamashree shakuni
all his brothers hailed  for their jyestha to win the fire born.

"Pranipaat  maharaja drupad 
yuvraaj Drishtadyumna 
avaem sneh drupad kumari ko 
(and love to draupadi)
he was the first one who held the mighty bow in his arms 
Even was able to string the bow

now I could easily see a little stress in panchali's eyes
she glanced at Maadhav supposedly asking a question through her eyes...
Maadhav smiled relieving all her tension.
Prince suyodhana was able to string the bow now but he failed at striking the Target...

I could easily see the dissatisfaction and dissolved confidence in his face...
but none of the kings laughed 
or commented... now perhaps 
fearful of his prowess
or were glad that at least one of the Kshatriya was able to string the bow...

soon he returned to his place
Karna kept his hand on suyodhana shoulder and said 
"Don't let this make you sad..
Mitra
you are a gadadhari friend still you gave your best when even great archers like rukmi and shishupal faced a defeat!"

mitra will u?... A requesting tone of suyodhana

karn  said "Mitra I have the skill and the knowledge to shoot the arrow exactly at the eye...

agar niyati ne saath diya toh panchaali kya purn panchal aapko samarpit...(if fate is in my way not only panchaali  I'll submit you the whole panchal)"Shocked

mamashree intervened putra suyodhana
if Angaraj wins she will be his wife his Angarani

don't let her beauty enchant you our goal here is to win panchal's heart not of panchali's
score a good relation with them

suyodhana nodded mitra win her as your wife...
Karn smiled 

A name (which is highly appreciated here ) was announced.. this name needs no description 
 Angapradesh  naresh Angaraaj 
Karna padhaar rhe h 
the man whom I had fall for today seems like we are ages lost lovers ...the man with Golden Aura the warmth of his glory {perhaps his heart} surrounded the whole swaymvar hall  but supriyaa wake up from your daydreaming..
OH NO !!!!! 
WHAT IF HE Wins her??
Bharata Drishtadyumna said he is a gifted Archer...
what if??
no no no ... priya think positively
many dhanushdhari failed ...
but he cannot be categorized in many... 
he was the disciple of the great Bhargava of bhirgu race Bhagwan  Parshuram indeed and his eyes were locked at the eye of the rotating fish

He could only be compared with 
Lord Mahadev in his glory and wrath
 Mahadev stop him ...all I needed right now was a boon in this noon.. like  Mahadev or 
Sun God  (since it was noon)
to come down to earth & say
"Hey Baalika...you are good and kind and you have prayed to me
everyday of your life .And for that ask me for any boon and that shall be granted."
Now the trouble was...
I wasn't particularly  good nor kind and certainly had not prayed everyday...
A thick muddle of sweat was showcasing  like a banner on my forehead  
calm down said my inner voice.
deep breathing usually helps.
Try it... I told myself.
I breathed in. then out..
Nothing happened try again ...  In Out.
Out In .
Nothing. Nothing.
I was choking. 
This was not a problem to be solved through intakes of 
O'2.
But there was someone getting
more restless than me.Shocked









The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

...HemangiZephyr.sania_58Radhikerani

Zephyr. IF-Rockerz
Zephyr.
Zephyr.

Fan Fiction Graphicer
Joined: 25 August 2014
Posts: 9541

Posted: 17 January 2015 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
Res...
...
Unres
beautifully pennedSmile I liked the way u wrote both Supriya as well as Drau's insecurities...with apt words
Thanks for the PMSmile

Edited by .Sanskruti - 18 January 2015 at 1:13am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

JyotsnaSharma

Radhikerani IF-Sizzlerz
Radhikerani
Radhikerani

Crazy Creative Junior
Joined: 31 August 2011
Posts: 21392

Posted: 18 January 2015 at 2:51am | IP Logged
So nice it was ! Loved how Draupadi and Supriya aimed at the same thing with different feelings. You've written this part very well ! Keep it up !

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

JyotsnaSharma

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