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Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

please help me - love problem UPDATE PG.4 (Page 3)

DelusionalMe IF-Sizzlerz
DelusionalMe
DelusionalMe

Joined: 21 August 2010
Posts: 18451

Posted: 18 January 2015 at 8:39am | IP Logged
Personally I don't know if I am mature enough to give any advice but I somehow I couldn't stop myself. I think the first wrong you did was to stay in contact with the guy after he got married. If you planned on staying friends with each other, they you both should know the limitations of friendship. I know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you loved with all your heart. It wouldn't have been wrong to hope for something getting worked out if he wasn't married but in your case he got married and now wishing for something to happen means someone else would have to pay the price, his wife in this case, who is not at all at fault. I think the guy is really weak and he clearly doesn't understand what he is doing. He should have taken a stand long time back when he was forced into marriage rather than going around complaining now. Whatever you decide, just remember that you would have to live with that for the rest of your life. Besides, I truly believe that you can not gain happiness at the cost of someone else's happiness. If I were in your place, I would keep myself away from such a situation. I wouldn't to be a reason of some other girl's sadness. If the guy left her himself and than came to me, I would still give it a thought. And from the point I see it, the guy doesn't seem reliable. He should be fulfilling his obligations when he himself agreed for the marriage.
Anyways good luck for your future.

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hotm3ss-Swetha-

ABHINAY891 Newbie
ABHINAY891
ABHINAY891

Joined: 25 January 2015
Posts: 1

Posted: 25 January 2015 at 7:19am | IP Logged

My life was going smooth until i was 18 years.Suddenly i when i joined a  college i saw a girl  who was  complete stranger to me .I feltstrange kind of feeling towards her.I lacked the guts to even approach her and confess my love to her.Many times I told  myself to forget her ,but i failed.I don not have that feeling towards any women in the world.it been 11 yrs now and i am now 30 years old.Recently thru facebook i came to know she hasloved and married someone else.But  her thoughts and picture still remains in my mind till this date.I  have decided  to remain single through out my life.question that baffles me why GOD sent her in my life.It would have been better if  I never knew her,then my  life would not have been like this.Do i have any past life connections with her.Why i did not deserve her.Today she is married to someone else.By falling in love with her did i commit any crime.Why was the other guy lucky having her in his life.Why luck did not favor me.To know the answer i have decided with strong intent to read all books of mind,past life regression,soul mate,desiny,visit mystic places where i can find the answer for this.Today my heart pains a lot

thinking about her .sometimes i think she was acurse in my life.Why does love failure give so much of pain.



Edited by ABHINAY891 - 25 January 2015 at 7:20am
-Chicha- IF-Dazzler
-Chicha-
-Chicha-

Joined: 08 April 2007
Posts: 3316

Posted: 25 January 2015 at 4:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ABHINAY891

My life was going smooth until i was 18 years.Suddenly i when i joined a  college i saw a girl  who was  complete stranger to me .I feltstrange kind of feeling towards her.I lacked the guts to even approach her and confess my love to her.Many times I told  myself to forget her ,but i failed.I don not have that feeling towards any women in the world.it been 11 yrs now and i am now 30 years old.Recently thru facebook i came to know she hasloved and married someone else.But  her thoughts and picture still remains in my mind till this date.I  have decided  to remain single through out my life.question that baffles me why GOD sent her in my life.It would have been better if  I never knew her,then my  life would not have been like this.Do i have any past life connections with her.Why i did not deserve her.Today she is married to someone else.By falling in love with her did i commit any crime.Why was the other guy lucky having her in his life.Why luck did not favor me.To know the answer i have decided with strong intent to read all books of mind,past life regression,soul mate,desiny,visit mystic places where i can find the answer for this.Today my heart pains a lot

thinking about her .sometimes i think she was acurse in my life.Why does love failure give so much of pain.



that is very sad, but you should move on in your life as she doesn't love you and she is happily married. Unless she is not happy and wants to come to you, there is no reason for you to wait. :)
Rumination Goldie
Rumination
Rumination

Joined: 18 November 2014
Posts: 1457

Posted: 25 January 2015 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ABHINAY891

My life was going smooth until i was 18 years.Suddenly i when i joined a college i saw a girl who was complete stranger to me .I feltstrange kind of
feeling towards her.I lacked the guts to even approach her and confess my love
to her.Many times I told myself to forget her ,but i failed.I don not have
that feeling towards any women in the world.it been 11 yrs now and i am now 30
years old.Recently thru facebook i came to know she hasloved and married
someone else.But her thoughts and picture
still remains in my mind till this date.I
have decided to remain single
through out my life.question that baffles me why GOD sent her in my life.It
would have been better if I never knew
her,then my life would not have been
like this.Do i have any past life connections with her.Why i did not deserve
her.Today she is married to someone else.By falling in love with her did i
commit any crime.Why was the other guy lucky having her in his life.Why luck
did not favor me.To know the answer i have decided with strong intent to read
all books of mind,past life regression,soul mate,desiny,visit mystic places
where i can find the answer for this.Today my heart pains a lot

thinking about her .sometimes i think she was acurse in my life.Why does love failure give so much of pain.




Love does not have to be two-sided. Cause it doesn't take two people to give someone an emotion, but seeing your situation, you should move on. Why can't you just be happy for her and her new life? I believe that there's a somebody special for everybody. Tum apni zindagi kyu kharab kar rahe ho?

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hotm3ss

hotm3ss Goldie
hotm3ss
hotm3ss

Joined: 24 October 2010
Posts: 2395

Posted: 30 January 2015 at 3:49am | IP Logged
For a start, there is no such thing as you "meant" to be with him and therefore, it's ...somehow your duty to break their marriage and replace his wife? I seriously don't know where you got that logic from but it's an utter fail both mentally and morally. Falling in love with someone is fine but after a point, when you start crossing lines over it, "love" is simply an ugly overtly used phrase that suggests that you simply happened to end up romantically liking this guy, who FYI is a feeble minded idiot! I call bullshit to this love.
The good news is, if you aren't too far gone already, you can stop talking to this guy solely on the basis that he is married to someone else. I don't know why that didn't stop you from talking to him earlier but it's still not too late to pull yourself away from HIS mess. His life, his wife, his mess. Get out of it and never look back if you value your self-respect.

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MsfairyCindreLa

TheBoss IF-Sizzlerz
TheBoss
TheBoss

Joined: 06 October 2011
Posts: 16236

Posted: 02 February 2015 at 10:32am | IP Logged
Im not going to write a paragraph as others have pretty much said it all.
My question to you is this: Since he has consummated his marriage, how do you not understand that it takes two to tango? Or did he also did that because his mother forced him? My point is he is trying to have his cake and eat it too. You need to snap out of it and let him go.

I have faced a similar situation in my life. However I will not go back in her life to destroy it. I cannot wreck her home. Her man isn't going to like it even if my intentions are only to clear out the air. 

Let him go and move on, call it a loss.

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-Swetha-

-Chicha- IF-Dazzler
-Chicha-
-Chicha-

Joined: 08 April 2007
Posts: 3316

Posted: 02 February 2015 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheBoss

Im not going to write a paragraph as others have pretty much said it all.
My question to you is this: Since he has consummated his marriage, how do you not understand that it takes two to tango? Or did he also did that because his mother forced him? My point is he is trying to have his cake and eat it too. You need to snap out of it and let him go.

I have faced a similar situation in my life. However I will not go back in her life to destroy it. I cannot wreck her home. Her man isn't going to like it even if my intentions are only to clear out the air. 

Let him go and move on, call it a loss.


Hi, he did not have any physical relationship with her even till today. i spoke to his wife just about a week ago and she told me everything as well. and to me that is the biggest proof of his love, that even despite living and staying in the same room, he has not touched her.
-Chicha- IF-Dazzler
-Chicha-
-Chicha-

Joined: 08 April 2007
Posts: 3316

Posted: 02 February 2015 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
UPDATE:



As of now my bf is in India for his older brother's marriage. Its been 3 weeks since hes in India.
On his first day, he told his wife straight that he will not have any physical contact with her as he needs time. she said ok. after that she said she wants to check his phone and he let her. in his phone he had my pics and he just saw the pics and said nothing.

After a week, one night my bf was sleeping and she started to touch him on his stomach and slowly going down, my bf spazzed out and pushed her away and told her dont touch me, i have already told u. again she did not stop and went again, after that my bf just pushed her of the bed and he took out the mattress and slept on the floor.

After two days, she asked my bf for his facebook password and he said no to her. she kept on asking and he kept on saying no. after that my bf went to sleep

Next day, she told my bf that she is ready to leave him but she wants him to take her to USA, she told him that he can leave her and go with me but she wants just go to USA. my bf was shocked he didnt believe what he just heard and he told her ok.

when my bf told me about that i was shocked too because we never thought she would say something like that. so i told my bf that its good that she is ready to leave but it will take her almost a year to come to USA and my bf doesnt want to wait that long as he can not stand her. he wants to teach his mom to realize her mistake too and he told me that right after his bro marries, he will leave everything and start his new life (work,earn money for us and buy a house  and talk to my parents). but i am keep telling him to wait

also, since his bro is getting married to his gf who is from rajastan and not Punjabi. all of his cousins and relatives are talking bad about them and he asked his mom about that. and his mom simply replied, "whatever happened happened". she has no regret of what she has done and he wants her to realize that she has ruined three lives. he wans to leave everything just like that, but i told him its not a good idea as he should leave her first.



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