Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar


Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar
Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar

OS: if only you knew. (NeiRa & RaMan) (Page 4)

exoLarmy IF-Rockerz

Joined: 26 November 2011
Posts: 9371

Posted: 26 December 2014 at 11:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by columbia

Originally posted by beautiful1

Originally posted by columbia

Ok I am going to be very honest

I LOVE LOVE your writing! especially the style and the flow it is really keeping me hooked! BUT I have a small problem with the characterization, I don't like how you have written them to be having a war with each other, like this is his win and that is her win, that part I thought doesn't fit in the characterization. 

But please please continue , I would love to see where you take it 

Thank you for being honest. Embarrassed

I honestly didn't think many people would enjoy this piece very much because personally it didn't see this "wow" factor in it. I don't know but this may have been one of my very bad OSs. And, regarding the characterisation, i think i may have gone overboard because i trying hard to portray them as hurt and pissed off at one and another. I wanted to show them as two very egotistical people. But i guess it didn't come across very well and i blame that on my poor writing in this OS. LOLLOL

I think i'll continue after the RaMan fake marriage track is finished. Smile 

No please dont wait. You must continue. I dont want to feel like I should not have been honest. I love your writing especially it has a certain gripping quality to it. You are right, when I went back and read it was that they are egostical and you gave a 'war' zone for that ego, which is fab in its own way. Please do continue, in fact, you have thought it through which in itself makes you a better writer than the show's writer Clap
I want to continue too but right now i have to study for my exams (january mocks) and hopefully after that i'll continue. And (@bold) Please don't feel like that. I swear i appreciated your honest feedback it was helpful and it will definitely help me write the second part 2 (fingers crossed).
@blue : Thank you for the lovely comments but actually this was kind of rushed and i don't think i thought the story through (but i know i will for part 2) however structure wise i wanted to give the POVs of each character so you can understand them better.LOLEmbarrassed I am glad you liked it, it means a lot to me as a writer. Hug

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exoLarmy IF-Rockerz

Joined: 26 November 2011
Posts: 9371

Posted: 26 December 2014 at 11:08am | IP Logged
Originally posted by KSGmaniac_24579

It was awesome!!!!
Update soon
And do pm me if u can!

Thank you! & btw i like your siggie, I miss zoya and asad :(
ronitfan IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 23 October 2004
Posts: 46638

Posted: 26 December 2014 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
Update soon :D
luvrr Senior Member

Joined: 27 July 2010
Posts: 799

Posted: 26 December 2014 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
waiting dear...pls update asap...
Luv-IKNMP Senior Member

Joined: 01 December 2013
Posts: 328

Posted: 27 December 2014 at 2:08am | IP Logged
OMG!! Heart Day Dreaming
I Loved it!!...
Cont soon pls... Clap

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