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In Pain Lies Healing // Manan (Page 2)

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Posted: 24 December 2014 at 10:38am | IP Logged
it's a beautiful, insightful postClapClapClap...indeed pain is not one dimensional, it does not always just bury you alive under ruins of broken dreams and heart and ashes of now-withered emotions

as you pointed out pain is also accepting one's vulnerabilities and having the courage to accept them and walk towards love inspite of the hurt that would surely leave bruises. loving someone more than oneself, with everything that heart and mind can possibly feel, without any walls or shields definitely takes courage and maturity that somehow can be found through that gut-wrenching soul-numbing pain you have talked about.


pain is not always a shard of ice that can leave a pool of crimson hurt and melt into nothingness,

pain is not always something that kills some naive, breathing part inside

pain is not always just incriminations, blame game and self-pity

pain is not always a message bearer of the ending, it is not the words before a full stop.


pain can be a reminder that life is still unexplored, depths of heart still unfathomed

pain can be a mirror to the confused soul, scared by the intensity of feelings unknown

pain can be that comforting blanket which reassures you are not cold, dead inside

pain can  be understanding, acceptance and courage to take that first step ahead


pain is perhaps nothing but the pause before you turn the page and a new chapter begins.



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Posted: 24 December 2014 at 11:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by daisy_luvs_ ff

it's a beautiful, insightful postClapClapClap...indeed pain is not one dimensional, it does not always just bury you alive under ruins of broken dreams and heart and ashes of now-withered emotions

as you pointed out pain is also accepting one's vulnerabilities and having the courage to accept them and walk towards love inspite of the hurt that would surely leave bruises. loving someone more than oneself, with everything that heart and mind can possibly feel, without any walls or shields definitely takes courage and maturity that somehow can be found through that gut-wrenching soul-numbing pain you have talked about.


Thankyou so so much ^^ <3 And truly, pain has its facets like every other emotion, pain brings so much with it. The fear, the anxiety, the wariness, the cowardice at times too, stubbornness, sometimes it leaves scars too. But pain has that power over every other emotion. Pain has the power to make you really really strong. As they say, what doesn't kills you makes you stronger. Pain does that. Either you crumble or either you rebuild yourself. Pain, also, alters you, it gives you that power to change because when intensities vary, it makes you realize that a certain pain to that gut wrenching one that you get being apart from something you so utmostly love, is unbearable.




pain is not always a shard of ice that can leave a pool of crimson hurt and melt into nothingness,

pain is not always something that kills some naive, breathing part inside

pain is not always just incriminations, blame game and self-pity

pain is not always a message bearer of the ending, it is not the words before a full stop.


pain can be a reminder that life is still unexplored, depths of heart still unfathomed

pain can be a mirror to the confused soul, scared by the intensity of feelings unknown

pain can be that comforting blanket which reassures you are not cold, dead inside

pain can  be understanding, acceptance and courage to take that first step ahead


pain is perhaps nothing but the pause before you turn the page and a new chapter begins.


OH MY GOD THESE LINES ^^ You've described it so so beautifully that I simply cannot say anything that's as perfect ^^ You put it perfectly. Pain also gives you the courage youve been looking for all your life. The courage to take that one step forward and let go <33
 

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Posted: 24 December 2014 at 11:20am | IP Logged
I cannot seem to find my words today.. but when reading your post, this is what was playing in my mind..
Two hearts fading, like a flower. 
And all this waiting, for the power. 
For some answer, to this fire. 
Sinking slowly. The water's higher. 
Desire 

With no secrets. No obsession. 
This time I'm speeding with no direction. 
Without a reason. What is this fire? 
Burning slowly. My one and only. 
Desire 

You know me. You don't mind waiting. 
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying, 
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me, 
That you run and never tire. 
Desire

I don't even know why exactly.. maybe because even though you were speaking of pain, that is not how I registered it.. to me it felt more like a description love or need or want or.. just plain undeniable, desperate 'desire'..
For what is pain if not a consequence of any of the above.. both the loss and the gain of a dream.. a wish.. a fantasy.. all of this is pain..
Admitting the importance of all of it.. any of it.. is pain..
Fearing this admittance but doing it anyway.. is pain..
Losing control but being helpless to prevent it.. is pain..
Giving it all up just to find the answer your soul requires.. is pain..
Facing your fears because being vulnerable is better than being numb.. is pain..

And yet this pain itself is life.. because if you can feel it then it is real.. you are real.. still living.. and therefore still capable of loving and being loved..
A vicious cycle.. and yet at the same time, the greatest quality that keeps us wonderfully, resiliently human...our ability to feel pain and to overcome it and grow..

Apologies.. have no idea what I rambled on about.. I doubt any of this is even vaguely coherent.. feel free to ignore.. am in an abstract sort of mood todayEmbarrassed 

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Posted: 24 December 2014 at 11:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by 13thwish

I cannot seem to find my words today.. but when reading your post, this is what was playing in my mind..
Two hearts fading, like a flower. 
And all this waiting, for the power. 
For some answer, to this fire. 
Sinking slowly. The water's higher. 
Desire 

With no secrets. No obsession. 
This time I'm speeding with no direction. 
Without a reason. What is this fire? 
Burning slowly. My one and only. 
Desire 

You know me. You don't mind waiting. 
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying, 
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me, 
That you run and never tire. 
Desire

I don't even know why exactly.. maybe because even though you were speaking of pain, that is not how I registered it.. to me it felt more like a description love or need or want or.. just plain undeniable, desperate 'desire'..
For what is pain if not a consequence of any of the above.. both the loss and the gain of a dream.. a wish.. a fantasy.. all of this is pain..
Admitting the importance of all of it.. any of it.. is pain..
Fearing this admittance but doing it anyway.. is pain..
Losing control but being helpless to prevent it.. is pain..
Giving it all up just to find the answer your soul requires.. is pain..
Facing your fears because being vulnerable is better than being numb.. is pain..

And yet this pain itself is life.. because if you can feel it then it is real.. you are real.. still living.. and therefore still capable of loving and being loved..
A vicious cycle.. and yet at the same time, the greatest quality that keeps us wonderfully, resiliently human...our ability to feel pain and to overcome it and grow..

Apologies.. have no idea what I rambled on about.. I doubt any of this is even vaguely coherent.. feel free to ignore.. am in an abstract sort of mood todayEmbarrassed 

Speechless, hugs- Hugbecause that is all.

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Posted: 24 December 2014 at 11:59am | IP Logged
Originally posted by 13thwish

I cannot seem to find my words today.. but when reading your post, this is what was playing in my mind..
Two hearts fading, like a flower. 
And all this waiting, for the power. 
For some answer, to this fire. 
Sinking slowly. The water's higher. 
Desire 

With no secrets. No obsession. 
This time I'm speeding with no direction. 
Without a reason. What is this fire? 
Burning slowly. My one and only. 
Desire 

You know me. You don't mind waiting. 
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying, 
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me, 
That you run and never tire. 
Desire

AAAH WISH THIS BE SOOO PERFECT ^^^^ every.single.word. I ADORE POETRY SO MUCH!!


I don't even know why exactly.. maybe because even though you were speaking of pain, that is not how I registered it.. to me it felt more like a description love or need or want or.. just plain undeniable, desperate 'desire'..
For what is pain if not a consequence of any of the above.. both the loss and the gain of a dream.. a wish.. a fantasy.. all of this is pain..
Admitting the importance of all of it.. any of it.. is pain..
Fearing this admittance but doing it anyway.. is pain..
Losing control but being helpless to prevent it.. is pain..
Giving it all up just to find the answer your soul requires.. is pain..
Facing your fears because being vulnerable is better than being numb.. is pain..

Pain has this whole realm, so many facets to it that if you dive deep you'll be lost. There's no true ending to it. The world of it is infinite. And you cannot associate infinite with something which is constant or fixed. Pain, like any other emotion, is more a result, a concoction of all those others. Ssometimes its love, sometimes its hate, somimes pain comes from self loathing, sometimes we inflict it upon ourselves. How unbelievable but true that there are people who deal with things by cutting themselves up, that pain is their drug, to them pain is a medicine but all in, aruly, the fact is, it is pain that makes you feel alive, pain that makes you conscious. I remember how Nandini pressed on Manik's hand to explain him which he wasn't understanding in words too. Pain also makes you responsible and thoughtful. It makes you precationary and beautiful but intruth, pain has no standing force of its own. It's a propeller, a transition btw this world and that. You always emerge a different person until the next phase of pain. Your choices carve your path, but the pain always helps. It doesn't let you numb.



And yet this pain itself is life.. because if you can feel it then it is real.. you are real.. still living.. and therefore still capable of loving and being loved..
A vicious cycle.. and yet at the same time, the greatest quality that keeps us wonderfully, resiliently human...our ability to feel pain and to overcome it and grow..

^^ so true. Pain always makes you a different person. The altercation can be slight, or vast, the difference minimal to maximum, but pain is not only a great transition, it also is a great teacher. There's no life without pain. Pain shapes you, and you realize, that the actions that lead to the first coming of pain, aren't the one with the second. it truly is a cycle, human cycle which makes you who you are.



Apologies.. have no idea what I rambled on about.. I doubt any of this is even vaguely coherent.. feel free to ignore.. am in an abstract sort of mood todayEmbarrassed

PSHHT SHUTUP! I BE SUCH A FAN OF YOUR WORDS WISHHH! JKNDSKJDCC <3

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Posted: 24 December 2014 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
@Rida: I just want to hug you so tight for finding some semblance of meaning in my disjointed, random ramblings.. You said it all and so well too that I have nothing to add..
Also, it's not poetry.. I'm definitely not that creativeLOLLOL.. it's lyrics.. 'Desire' by Ryan Adams.. beautiful song.. and one I have personal history with tooEmbarrassed

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Posted: 24 December 2014 at 9:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by MaybeSomeday...

Originally posted by 13thwish

I cannot seem to find my words today.. but when reading your post, this is what was playing in my mind..
Two hearts fading, like a flower. 
And all this waiting, for the power. 
For some answer, to this fire. 
Sinking slowly. The water's higher. 
Desire 

With no secrets. No obsession. 
This time I'm speeding with no direction. 
Without a reason. What is this fire? 
Burning slowly. My one and only. 
Desire 

You know me. You don't mind waiting. 
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying, 
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me, 
That you run and never tire. 
Desire

AAAH WISH THIS BE SOOO PERFECT ^^^^ every.single.word. I ADORE POETRY SO MUCH!!


I don't even know why exactly.. maybe because even though you were speaking of pain, that is not how I registered it.. to me it felt more like a description love or need or want or.. just plain undeniable, desperate 'desire'..
For what is pain if not a consequence of any of the above.. both the loss and the gain of a dream.. a wish.. a fantasy.. all of this is pain..
Admitting the importance of all of it.. any of it.. is pain..
Fearing this admittance but doing it anyway.. is pain..
Losing control but being helpless to prevent it.. is pain..
Giving it all up just to find the answer your soul requires.. is pain..
Facing your fears because being vulnerable is better than being numb.. is pain..

Pain has this whole realm, so many facets to it that if you dive deep you'll be lost. There's no true ending to it. The world of it is infinite. And you cannot associate infinite with something which is constant or fixed. Pain, like any other emotion, is more a result, a concoction of all those others. Ssometimes its love, sometimes its hate, somimes pain comes from self loathing, sometimes we inflict it upon ourselves. How unbelievable but true that there are people who deal with things by cutting themselves up, that pain is their drug, to them pain is a medicine but all in, aruly, the fact is, it is pain that makes you feel alive, pain that makes you conscious. I remember how Nandini pressed on Manik's hand to explain him which he wasn't understanding in words too. Pain also makes you responsible and thoughtful. It makes you precationary and beautiful but intruth, pain has no standing force of its own. It's a propeller, a transition btw this world and that. You always emerge a different person until the next phase of pain. Your choices carve your path, but the pain always helps. It doesn't let you numb.



And yet this pain itself is life.. because if you can feel it then it is real.. you are real.. still living.. and therefore still capable of loving and being loved..
A vicious cycle.. and yet at the same time, the greatest quality that keeps us wonderfully, resiliently human...our ability to feel pain and to overcome it and grow..

^^ so true. Pain always makes you a different person. The altercation can be slight, or vast, the difference minimal to maximum, but pain is not only a great transition, it also is a great teacher. There's no life without pain. Pain shapes you, and you realize, that the actions that lead to the first coming of pain, aren't the one with the second. it truly is a cycle, human cycle which makes you who you are.



Apologies.. have no idea what I rambled on about.. I doubt any of this is even vaguely coherent.. feel free to ignore.. am in an abstract sort of mood todayEmbarrassed

PSHHT SHUTUP! I BE SUCH A FAN OF YOUR WORDS WISHHH! JKNDSKJDCC <3



Wish and Rida this post was so cathartic. 
I'm terrible when it comes to abstract thoughts,paintings,musings etc. I deal with facts much better. Cold hard facts give me comfort, suppositions and maybes make me terribly nervous. Facts are my refuge and even when I introduced myself on this forum,I used the identity I am most comfortable with. This identity is embedded in facts,there is no duality or ambiguity. This identity gives me no pain,no vulnerability,no flux as its deeply rooted in facts.
Pain to me is very quantifiable there is nothing abstract about it,even if it is as a result of abstract moods or emotions.
Dreams,desire, loss of control,dependance are all relative,fickle changing emotions. Pain on the other hand is measurable,reproducible and mirrored. Empathy which is such a powerful emotion comes from the understanding of pathos and is the daughter of Pain. It's true that you can be honest when you say you feel another persons pain but can the same be said of desire,passion even love?
For me the complete vulnerability that pain affords you is the measure of triumph of human spirit. 
Rida you are so right for in Pain does lie the healing. That is the fact,it's undisputed and that's why this post to me is not some abstract poetry,it's factual and I feel kinship.
For example in a fight after the first blow you feel immense pain but soon after the mind readjusts releases appropriate hormones and the body braces itself. The subsequent similar blows convert pain to a positive response. You either fight or flee. 

PAIN IS HEALING
This what I thought about your post when I first read it. Loved it

Wish when you unresing my post

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Posted: 25 December 2014 at 1:19am | IP Logged

The one thing about love is...it offers no guarantees. Yes there are promises, needs, wants, but who can tell us if they will last forever? Who can ensure that giving up our heart to another will not leave us out in the cold! Unfortunately no one can offer us that guarantee, not even ourselves. That scares us because we are fragile beings, I know it doesn't seem like it, with our armor of words and actions, but it's true inside we get hurt easily. Especially the heart...it's so easily torn and not easily mended. When you love someone, truly love them, you lay your heart open to them. This frail, beating, vessel becomes susceptible to all kinds of breakages, because you offer a part of yourself that you give to no one else. You let them inside, and literally give them a chance to screw you over, and then you wait...wait for them to strike, or to carve it out. But you see that's just part of it, there is so much more. It's knowing that this one person is yours and they will be there through it all with you. It's knowing that you will be loved despite the flaws. It's knowing who you are is enough and being okay with that. Yes there is vulnerability in love, but it's not your weakness, I believe that's your greatest strength. It's a chance to grow and nurture into someone who you're not afraid to be, someone who could easily love themselves. It's a paradox really...for the task of loving oneself is harder, and much more murkier than loving another; it is only when we learn to love ourselves first can we wholeheartedly embrace another with the love they deserve.

More than the pain...I see this as their chance to grow to learn to be okay with who they both are individually in order to full understand their feelings for another. Half of the time they spend trying to resist this hold they have each other, because they don't know what to do with it. Silently, they understand each other, as if they've always communicated in silence. It's a language they know best through actions, and unbidden glares. They struggle because its chaos...and they've always been that you know mess and tangles, but there's beauty in it too, it's a rare and pure connection they have.

Great post Rida! I always silently stalk your posts when I get time.



Edited by InvisibleSmile - 25 December 2014 at 1:20am

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