Cupid and Psyche - Page 4

Originally posted by: zohasad2.0

Doc🤗

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unres

I had to go through some articles to understand defence mechanisms and ego. You have explained it beautifully Doc. This is a fab post.👏 You made me search on such things...I love this damn it!!!🤗

Now what I get is that defense mechanisms usually come in play when anxiety and the feeling of all of it 'crumbling down' comes.It is the feeling of all of it failing and shattering that one adopts these mechanisms...to survive and protect themselves, to enclose themselves in a nutshell coz that is where they feel safe. Doesn't this sound ManikMalhotra2.o on our faces?😆 Well that is what he is, isn't it? This is how he escapes situations...and has been doing it for a very long time. Isn't this all related to your yesterday's question to Genie as to how he shunts Fab5 but not her...ever. He has been playing this way coz this is how he feels safe, this is how he overcomes issues and problems, conflicts which need his attention are solved this way only. He in a way runs away from them.

We use defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from feelings of anxiety or guilt, which arise because we feel threatened, or because our id or superego becomes too demanding. ---Saul McLeod

Finally 'EGO' comes in play which I would associate to the denial phase..which is one of the many defense mechanisms. And that is what Manik mainly plays other than acting out.

His refusal to accept the changes, the emotions--whatever they maybe...not only restricted to love--is what makes him act out differently. His ego comes in play and he just simply stops accepting things just coz he doesn't wanna admit to them, come at terms with them. This is typical him...choking himself to a point where he can't be reached by any, shutting himself in a cage of his own ego, his own denial, his own refusal---to his own experiences and reality.

I associate acting out as his other defense process. He simply starts acting out as 'extremes'. (Isn't that what Nandu says?) 

Self-injury may also be a form of acting-out, expressing in physical pain what one cannot stand to feel emotionally.---Dr. John Grohol

He takes the path of going to extreme behaviour when there is something he fails to express. Majorly coz of the emotional extremes he has faced in his life coz of the parental neglect or not enough care from their side...he prefers to go the 'BLACK' or 'WHITE' way...no grey in between, is it?

Now Nandu comes in play...she pushes his limits unline Fab5 and Nyonika and touches those nerves...hurts his ego, makes him act out...and then is the balm he needs. She is taking him out of this black hole he is in subconsciously. 

She is the one who hurts his ego, he answers abck, fights for it and eventually sheds that veil of ego and his inner softie rises above all---she sees through his vulnerability and tries to mend him.

She is the one who makes him act extremes...makes him o black and tries to act as if she is white but they gradually settle at grey coz there is the middle path they both chose...something neither too loaded for him nor too simple, something which isn;t a burden nor a magic spell...they chose a path on which he can walk bare feet with her.

Thus she is special...she is light...she is fireflies...she is stars...she is his love...which our Gadha doesn't understand.😆

Phew!!! DONE...I hope it matches up to ur level Doc.😉

----Zoha

Originally posted by: annboleyn

@muggle_diaries..I'm doc coz I'm doc.

Thanks for your comment and welcome to the forum. Manik and Nandu have the same degree of pull/ need/ attraction..call it whatever you want. But Maniks journey is slightly more complex as his inter personal relationships are extremely tenuous. His conflict is with himself and that's his beauty.

@lucky am glad you liked the interplay of id,ego and super ego

Originally posted by: Muggle_Diaries

You are right in saying Manik's journey is complex. He has to overcome a lot to become as "Normal" as he can be. The point you made that he has to believe that he is worthy of "love" and he deserves it is a huge task. But at one point of time Nandini needs join in his journey. She also need to to understand his complexities and the mask he has because of this. In a way it is complex for her as well. It is in no way easy to be with a person like Manik. It needs a lot of will, be ready to dish out some tough love and also has to keep re-assuring him that no matter what she will be with him. Beneath all the mask, Manik also has insecurities and self-doubt. 

And yes, the pull is equally there between them. Just the way they feel are different. They are "loving" in a different language. 

Ahhh... what great character we have in Manik, isn't it? I am so looking forward to his journey..

See you around and looking forward to read more from you.

--Love and Peace-- 

Originally posted by: charminggenie

Hi MD, welcome to the forum, mind if I interact and expand a bit on Nandini.😊

They both experience the same pull, same passion and intensity. Nandini has responded, demanded and treated him with equal fervour. There has not being one regret, on hesitation or stepping back from her. But if Manik struggles with his vulnerabilities and puts a mask , Nandini too likes to safeguard herself and him from the pain she thinks the two of them seem to bring to each other. He opens up her insecurities about loving someone so deeply , that even the pain of watching him leave her has crippled her heart- she doesn't want to experience that and feel the same numbness that her parents' death gave her , just like Manik puts up ego, never labels love to safeguard his wounds , she chose to walk away from her happiness and joy , to avoid the hurt and pain. 

It's a very equal , all consuming bond. Like Manik said, two way street, if she knows her power on him, he sense her response to his touch and presence. 

It's a journey about them as a unit, together they will have to complete each other. They will have to find the harmony and method to their different thought  processes. 

Originally posted by: charminggenie

Hi MD, welcome to the forum, mind if I interact and expand a bit on Nandini.😊

They both experience the same pull, same passion and intensity. Nandini has responded, demanded and treated him with equal fervour. There has not being one regret, on hesitation or stepping back from her. But if Manik struggles with his vulnerabilities and puts a mask , Nandini too likes to safeguard herself and him from the pain she thinks the two of them seem to bring to each other. He opens up her insecurities about loving someone so deeply , that even the pain of watching him leave her has crippled her heart- she doesn't want to experience that and feel the same numbness that her parents' death gave her , just like Manik puts up ego, never labels love to safeguard his wounds , she chose to walk away from her happiness and joy , to avoid the hurt and pain. 

It's a very equal , all consuming bond. Like Manik said, two way street, if she knows her power on him, he sense her response to his touch and presence. 

It's a journey about them as a unit, together they will have to complete each other. They will have to find the harmony and method to their different thought  processes.