Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani


Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani
Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani

Rise Of The Fallen - a DFL OS (Page 3)

MS-meghasharma IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 13 November 2006
Posts: 18595

Posted: 04 January 2015 at 10:36am | IP Logged
amazing os on rehaan. perfect story of rehaan which told us how he became what he did and i actually feel sorry for him now.

rehaan was a simple , nice guy who loved zaisha so much that he literally chose her over his mom who loved him the most and what a price he had to pay.

abhay was ruthless , emotionless and no wonder rehaan hated him ..he deserved that. he played with his life & emotions. it could never be easy for him to forgive abhay coz he was the one who made that entire plan .

avni tried hard to make rehaan see the truth but she failed and even though she did save him ...she lost her life.

the werewolf clan was too selfish. all they cared about was their motives ...i wonder if rehaan ever found out about them too coz indirectly even they were responsible too.

i feel so sad for rehaan to be betrayed by the one you love the most and loose everything...he became almost lifeless. all he wanted was a normal happy life with her.

zaisha was over confident that rehaan won't kill her and so i am happy she deserved what she got.

wish u a very happy new year and thanks for your kind words mandySmile

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MohanaLuvAbhiya IF-Dazzler

Joined: 16 May 2014
Posts: 4742

Posted: 05 January 2015 at 9:51am | IP Logged
Very nice OS. Enjoyed it a lot. Really you proved again that you are the best. After reading this I admire you more. Please continue writing more stories.Big smile

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BeyondHorizon IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 27 December 2005
Posts: 25792

Posted: 28 January 2015 at 5:02am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Paint.It.BlacK.

Res .. !

Clap Clap Clap
wow wow wowww! !!!! that was something mandy!!! what an update!! Clap

you sure---think it was an average one? because what i've just read was completely well knitted--perfect--representation of Rehan's tale! i dnt know how else it could have been more perfect!  Perfect Shocked U r way too kind to me LOL but thanks a lot Hug

Halfway into the story and I could already visualize a vulnerable Rehan--a boy who is soo completely different from an image we are so used to have of him!! 
That was the point. In DFL we only got a glimpse but I was not sure if many had really understood his pain. They got mad at him when he tortured Pia and did many other stuff but not many cared to see what had turned him into a monster Ouch

His immensely passionate love for Zaisha was intriguing enough to cherish the innocense and beauty of his love! Star  
Thank u for pointing that out Embarrassed His love was indeed innocent but in a cruel world like that it is nothing but a curse Ouch

what Zaisha did is completely detestable and impossible to pardon. even as a character it's out of question to give her any chance to explain why she did what she did. perhaps a OS from you on a deeper take into her character can rend us some answers! 
Some people don't feel any remorse for ruining another person's life and trampling all over their heart and Zaisha is one among them. So there is no other explanation to it. Perhaps you may (I am not promising anything coz I am yet to write Tongue) I may have a tiny glimpse but that will only be to show her true self. Not y she turned into a heartless vampire. 

Avni--she took a small part of the story, and yet her persona lingers even after the story gets over. it becomes impossible to get it out of our mind, her love and the sacrifice she had to make for her son! Ouch 
I am surprised that many noticed Avni LOL But from the looks of it she happens to be the show stealer here LOL There was not much about her in DFL but I assumed that a woman who could raise her child all by herself despite being shunned by her own clan and betrayed by the man she loved is no weak being. And a mother always loves her child and she will do anything to protect them and thats what I showed here.

I dnt know which part should i name as more beautiful. the picture of a love lorn boy---or the portrayal of a treacherous lady love Zaisha--or the merciless cruel face of an ungrateful woman--a son who loves his mother--cries for his love thinking she is dead---or girl who mocks at being truly loved instead of acknowledging its worth--or a mother who fights to save her son--i dnt know which one to praise more! I see each emotion a gem of reflection of the characters here. Clap and every part i read gives me satisfaction and i feel proud as a reader that I'm here to read anything you write! Approve 
Awww Blushing Thats too much of a compliment coming from a prolific writer like urself and it means a lot Hug

the end is overwhelming! i almost felt tears in my eyes! It was an heartfelt moment to see a mother dying to save her son! Rehan motionless..unable to do anything and begging to end his life to Zaisha -is an even bigger heart breaking sight to watch! Ouch yes watch--because i dnt read, with such great write up--all i do is see! and i loved every part of it. Clap 
I wouldn't call it begging but Rehan was in a state of shock and the only emotion he felt was guilt. True it was Zaisha who killed her but if he had never let her in his life his mother wouldn't have been killed in cold blood. And he probably wouldn't feel the pain of it. Maybe he thought it was only right that he die since his mother had paid with her life for his folly Ouch
need i say more? :p please please write more! u remember the deal--dnt you?Wink so dnt dare plan of anything else!  
Ok ma'am Tongue

and yeah since you mentioned--lady i dnt do charity. and i stay honest. but you know that already! right? Wink 
Point duly noted Tongue

ok. anyway, now update the next part asap! I wn't let you be in peace unless you do. Tongue 
Am afraid u gotta wait dear LOL SL is up next and after that yes, it is this one EmbarrassedHug

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BeyondHorizon IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 27 December 2005
Posts: 25792

Posted: 28 January 2015 at 5:06am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ..Bournville..

very nicely written Mandy. 

finally we get to know Rehan and Zaisha's story. No wonder Rehan turned out to be what he was when he was betrayed so royally by the one he loved most. 

waiting for part 2 now. 

Thanks Dishu Hug U know I was freaked out if u wouldn't be cursing me for messing with your character. If u liked it I am really happy Embarrassed 

Yep will get started once I am done with SL update Embarrassed

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BeyondHorizon IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 27 December 2005
Posts: 25792

Posted: 16 January 2016 at 11:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ..juhi..!! just amazing superb...loved it Heart Rehan really suffered alot...there was no fault of his in all these...he also lost his mom...mandy...was waiting for so long for an update from u and finally its here...will be waiting for more...

Thanks Juhi. Yeah Rehan suffered the most here Ouch sorry u had to wait this long for next part n I thought I almost gave up on this but I decided to finish it. So yeah this one will be next.
..tora.tangled. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 04 June 2011
Posts: 10615

Posted: 19 January 2016 at 9:26am | IP Logged

So I am here with my long overdue commentLOL

It was awesome manasaClapClap...absolute written perfectionStar( and you wrote splendidly, the writing matched the tone and feel of the story, and I'm never going to agree that you can't aware!Evil Smile)

For starters, you couldn't find a better quote to go with this chapter, it kind of captures rehan's story's essence..Star

and now for the first part itself...

As soon as I started reading...the feeling of heartbreak started to set in, you know...because I know how it ends...and then when I am reading of all the love, all the genuine heartfelt love rehan had for zaisha, how he didn't care about werewolves and vampires in his love for her, how innocent and trusting he was while loving...and my heart breaks a little more.Ouch

Rehan cares about protecting those he loves, his mother avni, and zaisha...and he has his heart shattered on both their accounts- on his mother's account because of the guilt he feels on her death, and on zaisha's account because of her betrayal. He ran away with zaisha because it believed it would protect them all, and it only ended in his mother's murder and the betrayal from the one person he lost his heart to.

You have built up and showed his past wonderfully here...the reason he has become what he is-is aptly portrayed and justified. He has become so heartless because he once cared too much. You can't help but feel for him, and that crippling helpless sadness you brought out in me while reading proves how perfectly you nailed rehan and his story without a doubt.Clap

Avni's story is the story of the epitome of a mother's loveSmile...that line where she says that rehan is all she will ever have hits so deep...and I loved her story as well and I admire her for her fierce love and determination to protect her son at all costs, right till the end.

This OS was stellar on all fronts...the development, the dialogues..everything...ClapClap

So yes, now I am eagerly waiting for the second part to see how you bring this OS to a closure.Big smile

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Paint.It.BlacK. IF-Rockerz

Joined: 12 August 2011
Posts: 7627

Posted: 19 January 2016 at 10:18am | IP Logged
Continue soonish! !! I am not gonna let you rest until you update this one!!!!! ;) So you better hurry! Evil Smile

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BeyondHorizon IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 27 December 2005
Posts: 25792

Posted: 19 January 2016 at 10:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by withered

 Alright I am feeling an undeniably sudden urge to strangle abhay to death and to petrify and dump the godforsaken supernatural councils into Tartarus ! LOL  Glad I could make u hate Abhay LOL given the context he is despicable but all DFL readers also know it wasn his fault Ouch
 I don't even care about abhiya right now . All I can think of is avni and rehan and her unconditional love for him .D'oh I am happy that readers could empathize for Rehan rather than think about Abhiya. I was afraid they will be disappointed that this doesn't have Abhiya or that I have portrayed their golden blue eyed boy as a ruthless villain.

Di being a DFL reader I am aware of Rehan's shady character and his past , even then I couldn't completely trust myself to not to feel deeply for him/avni  .The story is touchy  Heart . Mine fav part was where Avni thundered her wrath on those leeches while Rehan ultimately learned the power of her mother's love .  Embarrassed Thanks Ayu! This OS was probably emotionally draining for me as well.

We got a glimpse of our mighty cruel abhay  raichand too , the vampire council had definitely seeded the idea of becoming the ultimate power in SP world in his brain and blood . LOL Yeah but writing this part, I found it weird coz in all my stories he is the good guy LOL

Unfortunately for avni she was the only one to think her secret was safe Geek . From Abhay to the councils everyone knew that jeh is the father . Rehan was a liability for them . Zaisha did played her part well and accomplished her task  she just don't have a slightest idea that she signed the ticket to hell herself *evil smirk * Wink  . Tempted to read the next and final part . Cool Rehan was not a liability, it was Avni since the werewolves wanted Rehan on their side as they knew he was more powerful than either of his parents once he got his full powers. The vampire council never knew though, else they would have gone for Rehan. They assumed his father was a human. Nobody knew about him being Jeh's son. Since Jeh was dead and they were not aware of his bloodline, their next target was Avni who belonged to the lycan clan with a wiccan lineage. They thought finishing her off would eliminate any threat to their power but they were wrong LOL Rehan will unleash his wrath on them in the next update.

My comments in blue.

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