Fan Fictions


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Fan Fictions

ARHI FF T#6 Falling in love with enemy season II C27 on T#7 22Nov link

deeps_92 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 July 2011
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Posted: 21 December 2014 at 1:03pm | IP Logged


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deeps_92 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 July 2011
Posts: 9819

Posted: 21 December 2014 at 1:04pm | IP Logged

Hi Guys!!!! How are you all?...I know I am late...I am trying to get adjusted to my shift timings...and in between I got writers block...I re-wrote part A six struck up with it...I finished part B last weekend but I couldn't write part A Ouch...I am still not satisfied with it...but I think part B will make up for it...

part A is not proof read...I get struck up when I do it...sorry it was lame...'s Christmas and we r in sixth thread...celebration time...PartyPartyPartyPartyParty
RECAP: Arnav and Kushi fight over divya's case...Kushi comes to Arnav's house to check whether he had reached safely...she wishes him at 12 on his birthday...
Scroll down for part B...most awaited Kushi's past 


The continuous ruffling noise of blankets forced Arnav to open his sleepy eyes. Looking around, he spotted Kushi sitting on the other side of bed with her legs bended in Z shape. His bathrobe was hugging her petite body tightly. With her hair tied in a loose bun, few tendrils were falling on her face shielding her beautiful face from his gaze. He could say that she was searching for something as the noise continued. But he was least bothered about it given that his mind was crammed with a blissful thought.

He could get used to this.
Waking up in his room to see her beautiful face; watching her through mirror as she gets ready for work; allowing her to help him to get ready for his work; rushing back home before her only to see a surprised smile on her face as she enters the room; sharing about their day while having coffee near the pool; falling asleep admiring her face.
He could get used to all of this. In fact, he would get used to all of this happily. The mere thought itself was bliss.
His dreamy thoughts were interrupted by Kushi. Now she had turned to his side and looking for something below her pillow. She bit her lower lip worriedly while her gaze moved from pillow to Arnav. Igoring his good-morning' smile, she grabbed the duvet which was covering his bare chest and peeped inside it earning what the!' from him.
He moved up little balancing his weight on elbows and let the duvet to fall down from his chest to hip. "What the hell are you doing?" He questioned her in confusion.
She sat on her knees in front of him before heaving a sigh. "Arnav, there is a problem. Your shirt is here!" She lifted his shirts in her hands. "Your pant is there!" She pointed towards the wardrobe where it was thrown. "And you are wearing your track pant! You must have worn it before sleeping."
Arnav rolled his eyes in disbelief and reclined again to continue his sleep. Though the thought of having Kushi in his room forever is exciting, the thought of her disturbing his morning sleep is equally irritating. He loves to sleep after the sun had risen especially during winter.
"Arnav!" She screamed pouting her lower lips. "My clothes are missing!"

"Missing?" Arnav wondered loudly and smiled recollecting the events of last night. "I must have thrown it somewhere here only. It must..." He said turning to other side and covering himself with duvet.

Kushi pulled his duvet and leaned to his ears. "I searched every nook and corner of this room. It's not here."
"Maybe I have thrown it somewhere outside even before we entered the room." He said in frustration tugging the duvet from her.   
"I remember it very well. We entered this room fully clothed!" She said in a tensed tone.
"Let it be there where ever it is, Kushi. Stop eating my head so early in the morning!" Arnav cried pulling the duvet from her hand with force.
"If you could remember, we are in your house and I don't have any other clothes with me! And seven o'clock is not early morning!" She shouted. Arnav, who was busy covering himself with duvet, stopped and turned to Kushi in wide eyes. "Seven o'clock! Get lost, Kushi!" He swore and wrapped himself with duvet.  
Kushi looked at him angrily and got up from the bed. This is so weird. How can her dress go missing from the closed room? That too only her kurta and leggings are missing while her inners are safe. Arnav must be right. It must have fallen somewhere outside. "I better go outside and search once." She announced loudly.
"Don't go out in bathrobe. Servants would be down by this time. At least wear my tee shirt and tracks." She heard Arnav's sleepy voice mumbling against the pillow. Kushi sighed seeing him, fully covered from head to toe. The minute she opened his wardrobe something fell in her hands. It was the same red saree which Arnav gifted her two days ago.
Great, she could wear this now. But how can she wear this when she had bluntly refused to take it some fifty hours ago? She was in dilemma when her eyes casually wandered over his neatly arranged wardrobe. Everything was in place except one cardboard box lying open at the bottom rack. It was saree box. Then it struck her.

"Arnav, can I borrow the saree designed by you for one day? I will return it!" She said in a reluctant tone.

"Okay!" came the non-committal reply.
She walked to the bed. "But I feel very guilty. That day when you wanted me to take it, I refused. Today I feel very selfish to ask this." She said in guilty ridden sad tone. Arnav jolted up from the bed, his sleep gone. "what are you saying, Kushi? This saree is yours. You have every right to reject it or accept it. This is yours..." He stopped noticing Kushi's glare.


"Jeez, you did it! I was wondering how my dress can go missing. YOU STOLE IT!" She shoved the saree in front of his face. "You stole my dress to make me wear this!" She said in disbelief.
Arnav smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "Your mistake! I wanted to see you in that saree and you left me with no other option." Folding his hands against his chest, he leaned on headboard. Kushi glared at his Arnav Singh Raizada-gets-what-he-wants!' and threw the saree on the bed.
"You really think that I will wear this?!?" Now it's her turn to challenge him.
"I don't think you have any other option!" Arnav said making a fake-sad face.
"You are wrong! I have plenty of options! I can go to my house in this robe itself or I can borrow one of your dresses. Your shirt and trousers might be little big for me but it won't be that difficult to manage for such a short distance!" She said casually making him to fume.
"What difference it's going to make? This robe or shirt, everything is mine. I brought them with my MONEY!" He shouted.
"The difference is I can afford these clothes and I can never afford that saree!" She retorted.
"Know what? Do whatever you want and I don't care!" Arnav said before grabbing a towel from the cupboard and left for washroom.
Kushi bit her lower lip and waited patiently until the washroom door was locked. When she heard the sound of lock, an idiotic grin adorned her face with blush burning her cheeks. He hid the clothes because he wanted her to see in that saree. She would have worn it if he had asked for it. "So silly but very cute. I can't believe it's his thirtieth birthday. It should be tenth birthday!" She mumbled and went to bed to admire his gift.
Kushi's trance was broke by Payal's call. She immediately attended the call. "yeah, Payal!"
"Did you call me few minutes back, Kushi?" Payal questioned her.
"Yeah, I wanted to discuss about the meet. Paridhi suggested some changes in our statement. I thought her suggestion was good. You also check on it. And I might be little late today but I will be there before the meet starts..." Kushi walked through the French window and paced along the length of the pool without noticing its beauty as she gave instructions to Payal.
"Payal, do you know any good Italian restaurant?" Payal was startled by Kushi's question.
"I know...but..."
"Today is Arnav's birthday. I want to take him out to a nice place. He likes Ita..." Kushi was cut off by Payal's scream.
"OMG! Kushi, I am so happy for you. I am so glad that you are considering this relationship seriously. You don't worry! I will do everything to help you. I will book tables for you. I will get you ready! Shall I make an appointment in parlor? You should wear something beautiful. I think we should go for shopping..."
"Payal...Payal...Stop. Relax. It's just a dinner and not my wedding. And I have already decided what to wear! Saree!" Kushi said.
"I hope it's not your boring cotton Saree!"
"No, it's not!"
"What color it is? What type of Saree it is? Designer or normal one? Will it suit you?"
Kushi turned and walked towards the French window to have a closer look at saree before answer Payal's question. "I don't know. I will check it out!"
"Really Kushi?!? You said you are planning to wear it yet you don't know anything about it!" Payal said in disbelief.
"It doesn't matter! It was designed by Arnav and only that's matter." That's when realization dawn on her. The color, the work or the cost doesn't matter. All that matters is it was designed by Arnav with love only for her. Today she felt stupid for refusing to take it because of its cost.
She heard soft click sound. "Payal, I have to go. Will call you later!" She said and hurriedly walked to the room. Arnav was in his tracks with only towel around his neck. He gave her royal ignore and began toweling his dripping hair.
There was a knock in the door. "bhaiya, Your green tea!" Arnav came towards her to open the door when she signaled him with her eyes that she will take it.
"SURPRISE! Happy birthday!" Kushi looked at the source of sound in shock. Anjali was standing with another lady in early fifties. "Di! Maa!" Kushi heard Arnav's voice from behind. Arnav's mom looked at Kushi from top to bottom and that's when Kushi realized that she was still in her bathrobe. Arnav's mom walked past her to Arnav.
"Who is she, Chotey? What's she is doing in our house? What is all this, Chotey? One day, I was not in home and you bring her home. From when did you start bringing girls to our house?" His mother was shooting question after question.
"Maa!" Anjali called out before passing the cake to the man standing behind her and walked to where the mother-son duo was standing. "Maa, calm down! This is not the way to talk this matter. Let Shyamji come and handle this. Please maa. He will be here in few minutes. Till then why don't you prepare breakfast? Few minutes before when I called him he said he was hungry!" Anjali pleaded and last line worked with her mom. She left the room making faces.
"What is all this, Chotey?"
"How is your temperature? Are you okay?"
Both Brother and sister spoke at same time. One voice was filled with anger and another with concern. Anjali's anger melted down immediately hearing real concern in his voice. "I am good and wanted to wish you. So we came here. You should have been more careful, chotey! You know about maa! She is from old school and it is not easy for her accept these things. It's okay. We will handle her. First you both get dressed and come down for breakfast." Anjali requested them before leaving.
Anjali's departure was followed by awkward silence. Kushi said that she will get changed in the washroom and left with the saree in her hand. Arnav got ready and waited for Kushi. She came out wearing the saree designed by him for her. She looked eternally beautiful. Her voice broke his trance. "I am leaving Arnav. I am getting late for the meet."
"It will look bad if you leave without having breakfast. Just ten minutes Kushi." He pleaded.
Kushi nodded as they both walked towards the stairs. Anjali and Arnav's mom was already waiting for them in the dining table. "So you are the lawyer who filed case against my son?!?" Arnav's mom asked as soon as Arnav and Kushi got settled in front of her. Kushi, who was little startled by the tone, just nodded her head.
Devyani Singh Raizada was from small town. She is high in morals and values. When Arun married her, she got adjusted to new surroundings. As their wealth increased, she became more disciplined. As their fame increased, she became more humble. She was not close to his son. As her son was over-pampered by his father and Shyam, she thought it is necessary to be strict with him.   
"Anjali told me that you both are in relationship." Arnav and Kushi looked up from their plates while Devyani continued. "You, young people, might think differently but according to me a relationship without name of marriage is wrong. Even our society thinks the same."
"I don't give damn about the society!" Kushi said bluntly.
"But we do! This family and Arnav is a public figure. Arnav already had his share of scandals which defamed Damadji. I won't allow him to do anything which will affect Damadji." Arnav felt happy that his mother doesn't know about Shyam's dislike for Kushi. Or else his mother would have never allowed Kushi to stay here for a second.  
"Maa shall we have this conversation later?" Arnav asked quite irritated. Kushi was looking disinterested and angry.
But Devyani didn't hear it. "If you both are serious about this relationship, then I am okay with your marriage. But I won't tolerate any affair without proper name. This is against our culture and religion." She explained.
"I am Christian!" Kushi announced. Last thing she wanted to hear now is regional speeches.
Devyani was dumbstruck. She is not narrow-minded. Inter-religion marriages are very common. Still it was difficult to imagine some other religion girl as bahu of Raizada. Kushi noticed the elder women reaction.
"Is that a problem?"
"Yes, it might be a problem. How will I answer my relatives and societies question especially during your marriage?!?" Devyani looked sickly worried. Kushi could guess what is going on Devyani's mind. Kushi thought that Devyani's fear were baseless. "For that marriage should happen first!"  Kushi murmured to herself and continued eating. She didn't realize she was loud until Devyani reacted.

"What did you say? Marriage should happen? You are not playing to marry chotey?!?"

Kushi wanted to say hell-no!' All three pair of eyes was on her. She didn't care about other two and she was not ready to see the disappointment in those molten brown orbs. Truth can wait.
"I mean we are yet to discuss about it. Give us some time, Mrs. Raizada. I will make a move. I have to attend a meet. Thanks for breakfast." Kushi said and left the Raizada mansion.
Scroll down for part B...most awaited Kushi's past   

Edited by deeps_92 - 23 December 2014 at 1:11pm

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deeps_92 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 July 2011
Posts: 9819

Posted: 21 December 2014 at 1:05pm | IP Logged

Content Warning: Some contents in this chapter might be slightly disturbing. I have tried my best to use words which might not have disturbing effect. I hope it works...

Here goes One of the important chapter of the Story...


It was a birthday full of surprises for Arnav. First, Kushi came to his house and wished him at 12. Then his mother and sister planned to surprise him in the morning but in turn got surprised or more precisely shocked by him. After Kushi left, he expected his mother to create a big drama. She did start it but his life saviour, his brother-in-law, came and put an end to drama. Shyam asked his mother not to fight on his special day. He also added that Arnav's is not a child anymore and he knows what he is doing. This comment made his mother silent for time being.

After morning chaos, it seemed like it was a normal day with his family. Kushi's call
in the evening was a complete surprise. She said that she wants to have dinner with him and had booked table in his favourite Italian restaurant. The food ordered by her was according to his taste. She was silent and uncomfortable yet tried her best to hide it. To make her comfortable, Arnav commented about the classy inners of restaurant.
It did the trick. She argued that it is costly and most of the things are unnecessary. She could never comprehend why restaurants need costly wall hangings to attract customers. Good and worthy food would do the trick. She commented about almost everyone around them; how their posh clothes and accessories are unwanted. For god's sake, they are here to have dinner and not to walk on ramp. Finally she scowled how she is wearing one of such posh piece of cloth, AR designer saree because of him.
Arnav never remembered asking her to wear this saree for dinner still he kept quiet. She was getting comfortable in this place and the fact will startle her. Plus, what's the need to ask the question when he knows the answer. She wore it for him. She knows that it will make him happy.
"Are you coming up?" Kushi asked Arnav as he pulled over his car in front of her house. He checked his wrist watch. "I guess I cannot. I lied to maa that I am partying with friends. But she knows better and if I don't reach in time, then I am dead." He said with apologetic smile while she nodded and got down before waving him a good bye.
Not more than two minutes had passed since she locked the door, when she heard the door bell. She opened the door with a smile knowing who will be on the other side. Raising her brows, she questioned him about his sudden arrival while he eased himself into her house and locked the door.
"I forgot to thank you properly for the dinner." He reasoned and engulfed her in hug. She too wrapped her arms around him as she heard him say "Thank you for making this birthday so special and perfect! Thank you for coming into my life. Love you!" He pecked her shoulder before pulling away from her slightly so that he could capture her lips.
It is his way of saying thanks and she accepted it wholeheartedly. As they broke the kiss, he rested his forehead on hers and his fingers began to play with her cheek and tendrils of her hair caressing it. He does it almost after every kiss as he enjoys her unsteady and warm breath falling on him.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you look in this saree?" He asked her. She shook her head with her eyes fixed on his shirt button with which she was playing.
"You look so ravishing, so ravishing in this saree... that all I want to do is..." he paused trying to control his still uneven breath.
Kushi expected him to say something like I-want-to-rip-it-off-and-ravish-you' but what he said sent shivers through her spine.
"Capture you perfectly in my memory so that when I take my last breath, I could remember this face and die peacefully."
He was sincere and this made her feel guilty. He needs so much more than her. But here she neither could give what he deserves nor could leave him so that he will get what he deserves. It's a complete mess! So she did what she is best at; covering up.

"You and your silly romantic talks! You opinion might get changed after few days! Who knows?" She said sarcastically.

"hmmm...lets see after few days!" He said with same sarcasm leaving butterfly kisses all over her face. By now, he had learnt that this sarcasm is her way of covering up things and he also doesn't mind it.
"Kushi..." he whispered near her earlobes.
"Can I ask you something? Will you answer it honestly?"
Kushi pulled her head back to look into his eyes. "What do you want to know?"
"Today morning when maa asked you about marriage, why did you leave abruptly? We both know your answer! You are not the type who is scared of telling it loud. Still why did you keep mum?"
Kushi thought for moment and decided to tell the truth. "I know that you know my answer. I also know that if I had said it out loud, it would have hurt you even though you know what I was going to tell. I didn't want to hurt you!"
"Why is it so? As far as I remember, you are not in love with me! Then why?" He asked with caught-you' smile irritating Kushi.
"I may not love you, Arnav! But I do care for you and your happiness. You are also important to me." She said once again proving that no one can win Kushi Kumari Gupta in argument. It was Arnav's turn to get irritated. This girl will never accept her love' He thought angrily.
He realised her body from the hug before giving a sarcastic comment. "yeah, yeah...I know how important I am to you! That's why you chose that stupid case over me."

This angered Kushi. "I thought we are over it!"

"We may be but it doesn't change the truth. You chose that case over me!" He suddenly lost his cool.


"That's because that case is important to me more than you. If you ask me to choose between you two, I would happily choose my case!" She retorted in frustration but didn't realise the effect of her words until Arnav's face lost its colour. She cursed herself for spilling the truth knowing it will hurt him. At any time, she will choose case over him. But there was no need for her to say it to him especially today when she had done so much for him to make him happy.
He stopped her. "It's ok, Kushi. Sometimes truth will be bitter still it is truth." His voice was low.
"I didn't mean to hurt you...I..."
"I am okay, Kushi. I think I should leave now. Or else my mother might come here searching for me! Who knows! Bye." He made poor attempt to show that he is alright and turned to leave.
The way he walked showed he was hurt; disappointed. She is the reason for it. It breaks her heart to see him like that. She clenched her fists tightly hoping that physical pain will take over mental anguish. From corner of her eyes, she saw his dejected form. She can't allow him to leave like that. It will kill her.
Arnav grabbed the door knob and was about to turn it when her words froze him. 
"My mother was ra**d to death..."
His mind was processing her sentence when he heard another one.
"In front of my eyes..."


He jolted his head towards her to meet her red eyes.
"I was eleven then..."
With two long strides, he was next to her, holding her shoulders and trying to comfort her. But it seemed like she didn't recognise his touch. She was in different world with her eyes fixed to the ground. "Kushi..."
"She died in front of my eyes. I couldn't do anything. I was a kid and powerless. I couldn't even get justice to her. I still feel guilty!" Suddenly becoming alarmed, she jerked up and looked at him. "But now I have everything. I am lawyer and I have power. Even after this if I didn't fight for that girl, not only maa, but even I could never forgive myself."       
She held Arnav's arms. "This is not just another case to me Arnav. For me, this...this case is everything. And you are not trying to understand it! I really don't want to hurt you but..." She turned her head to other side biting her lower lip.
Arnav was in shock to react but soon gathered himself. "Kushi, I am sorry. I don't know..." Noticing a lone tear falling from her eyes, he held her chin gently and turned her head to face him. "I am sorry Kushi, really sorry. I just wanted you to be safe. Other than that..." He stopped spotting so much pain in her eyes. "Are you ok?"
Kushi closed her eyes for a second and then nodded. "I am okay." When she opened her eyes again, there was no trace of pain that Arnav thought it was his hallucination. She looked so normal; calm and composed. How can someone collect themselves so quickly? Arnav was amazed.
"I want to change my dress. This heavy saree is not so comfortable." The way she said and left made Arnav to believe that she wanted to be alone. Good that at least now she acts like a normal girl. He hoped that she will be more composed when she steps out of the bathroom. Discarding any thought of returning home, he walked into her bedroom still in daze, trying to digest what he had heard.


Kushi's mother was ra**d in front of her eyes!   
Who did that? Why they did that? And what happened to Kushi after that?
He had so many questions to ask her. But he was not sure whether he has enough courage to hear her answers. He slumped on the bed rubbing his eyes suddenly feeling exhausted. That's when he heard the soft click of bathroom door. Arnav didn't expect her to sit in washroom and cry for hours. At the same time, he didn't expect her to change her dress and compose herself in four minutes.
Four minutes?!? He needs at least an hour to take in what he had heard.
She stepped out wearing a blue coloured half pant and old cream colour tee shirt. Her hair was fixed in messy bun. Her eyes searched for him in the hall and when she couldn't spot him, her gaze turned to her bedroom.
"Are you planning to stay here?" She asked in a casual tone, towelling her face, as if she didn't tell him her dark secret few minutes ago.
"yes!" He kept it short not sure what to talk and leaned back on head board spreading his legs lengthwise along the bed.
"hmmm..." She hummed throwing the towel on the table in the corner and walked to the other side of bed. She kneeled down on the bed and stretched her tired body with a yawn. "Your mother is going to think that I am real bit**!" She commented and crawled two steps to reach him. He chose to remain silent.
"Shall we sleep?" He nodded to her question. She rested her head on his chest with one hand around his waist and other, as usual, on his shirt button. She traced the frame of the button with her finger hoping against hope that she will fall sleep. Arnav is late sleeper. She can't even sneak to take her pill. She knew that without sleeping pills, sleep will be an impossible task for her today. But today could be different. Because she had hardly touched her sleeping pills after Arnav had stepped in to her life.
Arnav wrapped his left arm around her and patted her gently. One hour passed in silence. Both were lost in their own thoughts. Knowing that she is still awake, Arnav asked her "tum teek ho?"
The concern in his question made all the hell to break loose. Two fat tears fell out of her eye sockets with rocket speed and soaked his shirt. She sniffed to control her tears but it seemed like she had no control over them today.
"Kushi!" Arnav called out becoming alarmed. Holding her shoulders, he made her to sit. She was sobbing with her eyes closed.
"Kus..Kushi...Are you alright?" To see someone strong like Kushi to cry like her world has ended was very tuff. Arnav couldn't see her in this condition. He wanted to do something and take all her pain away.
Kushi nodded to his question with her eyes still closed. As more tears fell out of her eyes, she began to bite her lips trying to control her sob. Arnav gently placed his hand on her shoulder and her whole body began to tremble while she cried out loudly.
"I am not okay!" She said in between her sobs. "I have never been okay..." She looked at Arnav for a second and began to cry more. "HELL, HOW CAN I BE OKAY?!? I SAW MY MOTHER GETTING RA*** BY FIVE PEOPLE! I..." She shouted and again cried covering her face with her hands.
"Kushi...Relax..." Arnav managed to say after gulping the lump in his throat. She bended down and buried her face in her thighs. "Kushi..." He said patting her trembling back. Her whole form was shaking. Arnav thought that it was because of her crying but as her trembling grew more, he became startled. He lifted her up to notice that her breath has become ragged and she was sweating profoundly.
"Kushi!" He held her cheeks. She was trying hard to breathe while her body was shaking vigorously. Arnav knew that these are symptoms of panic attack. He, himself, had got the attack twice or thrice, when he tried quitting drugs. But none was severe.
He made her lean on the head board and began fanning her face with a file which was lying on the desk next to the bed. Fresh and good flow of air is necessary to regularise the breathing. He was holding her sweaty, cold and shivering hands in his free hand. Both of their phones were outside, so he decided to wait till she gets little better before calling the doctor. 
After twenty minutes, which seemed like twenty hours to Arnav, her breathing became almost normal. She was neither sweating nor her body was trembling. She murmured something and he couldn't catch her words. So he moved closer to her.
" an...imp...ortant file...idiot!" She whispered grumpily in his ears. It took a minute for Arnav to understand her words and when he did that, he moved back with a stupid grin plastered to his face.
That sounded like His Kushi!
"I will call the doctor!" He said before standing up and came to halt when she stopped him.
"I am fine!"
Arnav gave an I-can-see-how-fine-you-are' look to her.
Kushi grumbled. "I will be fine and this is not the first time I am getting it. I even have medications in the first drawer of the desk. Just pass me that."
Arnav did just like he has been asked to do. As he took a close look at the capsules with scientific terms on it, one word caught his attention. "These are anti-depressants! You should not take it very often." He said in disbelief.
"I know and I am prescribed to take this in these kinds of situation." She explained and extended her hand to take tablet from him.
"They are addictive!" He frowned seeing her swallow the capsule.
"But I am not addicted to them. I rarely take them."
"And what about these pills?" Arnav showed her sleeping pills.
Kushi gave a weak smile. "I am kind of addicted to it. But I am conscious about it. I take them only when I need peaceful slumber. I don't want to sleep in the courtroom, you know. On normal days, I work till I am tired and sleepy. Most of the time, it works. But sometimes I really do need these or else I can't sleep."
Arnav's gaze was still fixed on the small container filled with pills. "I have never seen you take these things and always you sleep well."
"When you are with me, it is different." Kushi replied.
"I am not getting it."
"It's a long story! I am not sure whether you want to hear it." Her breathing was back to normal and she looked normal.
Arnav wanted to say no'. He was not sure whether he can bear with her past which appears to be the most terrible of all he had heard. Yesterday after sharing his story with her, he felt better. She also might feel relieved after sharing it with him. Or she might get panic attack again. He was not sure.
"It depends on whether you want to say it or not!" He left the ball in her court. She was silent with her gaze fixed on something beyond him.
"It took three years for my doctor to make me open-up and talk about the incident. I have never talked about it with anyone except my doctor; not even with Shallu aunty or Payal. But don't know why today I want to tell everything to you." She bit her inner lip in nervousness. Arnav smiled at her before moving closer to her and leaned back on head board of bed. Kushi looped her right arm around his left and leaned her head on his strong shoulder.
"My mother was the strongest women I have ever seen. She loved my father but he betrayed. Her parents wanted her to abort the child. But she was against it. She left her place and came here where she began working as a school teacher. She realised that she is not the only victim but many woman's condition was worse than her. At least she was strong enough to stabilize her life while many couldn't. She wanted to help all suffering women, hence joined Women's Welfare Organization."
"She met Shallu aunty there. They became close friends. Maa also wanted to become lawyer so that she can help women. When I joined Law College, Shallu aunty told me that maa had actually joined Law College before dying." Her hold on Arnav's hand got tightened as she described the rest of story.
"I don't remember much of that day except what I saw in the end. I came from school as usual and waited for maa in her office. An old single-storey house was converted into organization's office. It was a normal day. We always used to leave through backyard with unattended garden as it provided shortcut to our home. Shallu aunty and maa was working while all others left. We bid her goodbye and walked through the garden to notice that the iron-gate was locked. It was never locked before. The garden was big, filled with trees, plants and wild grass. Knowing that our voices won't reach the watchman in the front, we walked back to the building only to find the back door through which we left the building, few minutes ago, was also locked."
"I think it alarmed maa. Then we heard sound of that iron-gate being opened. Maa asked me to hide behind some cardboard boxes and made me to promise not to open my eyes or leave that place until she comes and calls me. That was my mother's last words to me and she never came back." Few fresh tears rolled down her cheeks as she paused for a moment.
"I did obey her words when I heard tuff male voice. I didn't open my eyes. But after that I couldn't hear any voice. Out of curiosity, I opened my eyes. They were five in number. Maa was talking to them in low voice and then one of those men slapped her so hard that she fell on the ground. I was shocked; too shocked to shout or close my eyes. They spoke to her in threatening voice. I...I don't remember their words but their voices and their sound of laughter still rings inside my ears." Kushi's hold on
Arnav became so tight that she was actually hurting him. But Arnav didn't mind it. He leaned his head on hers and placed soft kisses on top of her head.
"I watched it all. I didn't understand what they were doing. Jesus, I was eleven then Arnav!" A soft sob escaped her mouth. "All I know was they were hurting my mother and I was too scared even to react." Suddenly she freed Arnav's hand and looked up at him with red eyes.
"Know what, Arnav? Only when I grew up, I understood what kind of torture my mother underwent. Amidst of all, she didn't shout Arnav." Arnav wrapped his left hand around her shoulder as she held his shirt over his chest. "She didn't even make small noise, Arnav. She knows that I am very obedient. She must have thought that if she shouts, I might open my eyes and see all that non-sense. She..." Another sob left her. "If she had shouted, she... might... have... got... some help. She... died... protecting... me Arnav."
She hid her face on his chest and sobbed. Arnav held her shaking petite form in his warm hug. His mind was sympathising with eleven year girl who happened to see her mother getting ra***. He was patting her gently with all tenderness in the world.
Arnav took a deep breath. "Do you know who those men are? Why they were after your mother?" He noticed that her body became rigid and cursed him for asking it. He had mental debate whether he should ask her about it or not. But he knows that if he didn't ask her now then he would never be able to ask her. When he was about to say forget-it', Kushi began to answer him.
"I have no idea Arnav. That time I was too young but when I grew up, I asked Shallu aunty. She bluntly refused to confess it to me. She said whatever I do can never change the past. She wants me to move on and concentrate on my future. I tried to gather informant reading about cases of that period. But I couldn't come up with something reasonable." She took deep breath controlling her fury as more tears fell out of her eyes.
Arnav also noticed her anger. "Relax Kushi. Your aunty was right. It's time to move on. We will gain nothing if we are struck in our past. It's just waste of time."    
"It's not like that Arnav. I lived with my mother for eleven years but I don't remember anything about her other than that day. It was like I lost my memory on that day. Doctor said it was because of shock. But truth is it was because of them. If only I get a chance to take a small revenge on them, I would even give my life happily for that. But...I don't know...!" She sobbed again.
As time passed, her sob also died. She freed herself from him and sat up wiping her tears struck face.
"I have never cried so much in my life. I don't know what you do to me but I always end acting in weird way." Arnav smiled half heartedly hearing her complaint.
"Seriously, Arnav! I didn't cry so much even when I saw that incident. Actually, I didn't cry at all. Goons hurt maa until she died and then took her from there. They made it look like an accident. No one understood why I was reacting in strange way. Shallu Aunty told me that I didn't eat, sleep, speak or even cry for two days. On third day, Aunty's husband came to hospital to check my condition. Hearing his tuff male voice, I started screaming and crying. I got my first ever panic attack. Also that was my first reaction to the whole thing."
Kushi paused and moved her gaze to meet his. "I was diagnosed with androphobia; fear of men." Shock was reflected on Arnav's eyes.
"Their voice, their huge frame, their gesture, every single thing about men scared me and resulted in panic attack. I was unable to live in Shallu aunty's house where three men lived including her two sons. Orphanage was my doctor's suggestion. She thought being with girls of my age will have good impact on me. That's how I landed in little flower's home. Maa used to go to that orphanage on Sunday's to help kids in their studies. Everyone there took good care of me. Boys and men working in orphanage were given strict instructions to stay away from me. Every night I used to get nightmares followed by panic attacks."
Arnav's heart cried for Kushi. He caressed her cheek gaining her attention. She gave him half smile and then leaned on him with her head close to his heart. "It took three years for my doctor to make me speak about that incident. Everyone was shocked yet they couldn't do anything. I have less memory about those three years. But I remember, one day, Shallu aunty spoke about my mom. She said that maa always wanted to help needy women. If I wanted to do something for maa, then I should follow her footsteps."
"It did the trick. Suddenly I got motive to live. I wanted to become lawyer and help others. I wanted to do everything which my mother wanted to do but couldn't. I started to concentrate on my studies. I had no other dream or aim or ambition except becoming lawyer. My universe revolved around it. After I finished my schooling, I had no other go except to step outside the orphanage. Inside it I felt safe while outside world scared me. I began to panic with every encounter with men. But by that time, I was not in the situation to quit. How can I quit my only reason for existence?"
"I created my own world where men don't exist. When I encounter a man, I began to imagine that they are also women and they can't harm me. My doctor warned me that I am going far away from reality and it is not good. But it worked. Over years, my fear for men got reduced. Though I used to get panic hearing their voice or seeing them, I got courage that I can handle them. Especially when I started practising law, I saw so many cases where men behaved worse than an animal. I realized they don't even deserve my fear."
Arnav had always been proud of Kushi; her attitude; her values. He was proud of every single thing about her. But today he was proud of himself; his choice. He was proud that he fell in love with a woman like Kushi. He fell in love with her today all over again. He fell in love with the way she handled everything and came strong.
"As my hatred for men increased, my fear for them got reduced. Though I stopped panicking, even a small physical contact made me repel. I was not sure whether the repulsion was due to fear or hatred. Whatever it was, I couldn't tolerate it. I never thought that I will be comfortable in a man's presence let alone in physical relationship. My doctor had the same opinion."
Arnav was wondering how did he fit into this equation. As if she read his mind, she confessed "And then you came!"
Arnav felt her lips curving into smile against his skin. It made him feel so content. Her hands once again went to play with his shirt button. Everything is coming back to normal. "It's still a mystery for me how come i accepted you so easily into my life. I have no idea. When I met you for first time in your office, I thought you were handsome and Lavanyaji was not exaggerating. I was shocked with my thoughts. Before you, I never thought of any guy in that way."
She sat up and looked at him. "That day you came to my house. Do you remember it? You were circling me taking some rubbish. I didn't hear a single word except my throbbing heart. It was beating so fast not in fear but in anticipation; excitement. When you kissed me, there was nothing in the world I wanted to do, except to kiss you back. Every man scared me but you scared me in different way. In front of you, I was different Kushi. And that scared me the most. It made me worried. I tried resisting you. But, see, you are here."
Arnav smiled at her and she returned his smile. "I still couldn't comprehend how come you entered my life so easily and whether our relationship has any future. But I know one thing. You are the only man who made me feel like a woman; a real woman in all sense and always you will be the only one."
The tenderness and firmness in her words made him to feel goose bumps all over his skin. He moved forward and enveloped her in a tight hug. When they broke the hug, she made apologetic face. "It was your birthday. Sorry for making it worse with my past. I..."
Arnav cut her off by pressing his finger against her soft lips. "You gave me the best gift today by trusting me enough to share your past with me. This gift is more enough for me."
Their eyes got locked for few minutes. Kushi could feel her heart beating frantically against her rib cage. "Arnav, I want you make love to me now!" Kushi's demand had stunned Arnav. She has never asked him anything like that. She never took first step in this kind of matter.
"Not today, Kushi. We had heavy bed-time story and also you had an attack now. So I think we should sleep." He spoke in calculated tone not wanting to hurt her.
"I never know what is fear or pain until I was eleven because my mother was with me till then. She protected me from everything. When I was with her, I never had to worry about anything in the world. After she left me alone, I was forced to take every step carefully; forced to worry; forced to fear. When I lie on her lap, I felt so safe and secured. And when I am in your arms, I feel the same Arnav."
Arnav was shocked. Did she compare him to her mother who had sacrificed her life just to keep Kushi safe? He was not sure whether he deserved such comparison. He promised himself that he never let, Kushi and her opinion about him, down.
He kneeled on the bed while Kushi watched him with raw emotions in her eyes. He held her head with his hands as he gently placed his lips on her forehead.
Whatever happened between them, after that, was not just a sex to both of them. It was more than that; something pure; something very eternal.
How was it?...the much awaited Kushi's past...I hope I dint let anyone expectations down...nervously waiting for your feedback
its 7700 words can leave few words as response for this update...
do strike the like button and leave comments...ur comments are the only motivation for me when I have writers block

Edited by deeps_92 - 23 December 2014 at 1:31pm

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deeps_92 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 July 2011
Posts: 9819

Posted: 21 December 2014 at 1:06pm | IP Logged


Edited by deeps_92 - 23 December 2014 at 1:38pm

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sarunsashasingh IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 30 December 2011
Posts: 17306

Posted: 21 December 2014 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
Really intresting concept!!

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marcoe Goldie

Joined: 04 June 2013
Posts: 1023

Posted: 21 December 2014 at 1:20pm | IP Logged

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ankitamishra201 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 30 April 2012
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Posted: 21 December 2014 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
waiting Day Dreaming
arsneh IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 13 October 2012
Posts: 13320

Posted: 21 December 2014 at 5:53pm | IP Logged
congrts for new thread :-)

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