Goenkas' insane love for Shaurya - An analysis - Page 2

Posted: 9 years ago
Originally posted by shruthiravi


Beautiful analysis Anu. Loved it to the core. Just adding some points from my side. I completely agree to your point that first born is very special. Being the first born in my family as well as in my generation I know what it means to be a first born. Irrespective of being a girl I was pampered to the hilt. I know that. If mom scolded there were uncles to take me out or grandma to tell don't scold her.πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
 
There will be someone in the family behind you can hide if you fear punishment. Enough people to defend you. But on one hand when they pampered me, expectations from me were also huge. Burden of expectations I would say. From studies to marriage to everything everyone had expectations for me. Sakshi and Rajnath also I guess had expectations from Shaurya. But I feel they never made him accountable and responsible for that expectation whereas my parents and my relatives made me accountable for that expectation. I could see pride in their eyes even in my small victory and I wanted to make them more proud. In a way I would say I always wanted my parents, uncles, aunties everyone who loved me to be always proud of me.
 
Raj and Sakshi were so much hogging the limelight that Shaurya was always Rajnath's son not vica versa. Shaurya's identity was always linked to Rajnath and Goenka. He had nothing of his own. Without Rajnath and Goenka tag Shaurya is nothing. He doesn't have any talent, any capability and cannot survive on his own. If Raj and Sakshi had invested their time in creating Shaurya's identity right way he might not have been known as their child, but they would have been known as Shaurya's parents for all the right reasons.
 
In other words parents should know 20 years down the lane how they want to see themselves. Whether the proud parents of the child, I mean for that the parents have to let go of their ego of their identity or they want the child to be known with their identity. The choice the parent makes will decide how the child will turn out to be.
 
Suchitra made the first choice with Dev. She was happy to be known as Dev's mother, that's why she always instilled Arnab's dream into him so that the child always wants to make both parents proud.
She might have tried that with Shaurya also. But then she is weak and neither Sakshi nor Rajnath would have tried to put a vision in Shaurya's head. But to be true how do you expect 2 people who came together for hiding a criminal act and only think about money,power and status to have vision.
 
 

Shruthi i am first born and that too on both sides in my generation as well πŸ˜Š I am pampered now also ,even after being married πŸ˜‰ being the eldest grand daughter .I had the privilege of keeping all love only to myself for quite a long time πŸ˜†πŸ˜† . It has its own advantages . Now also , i enjoy a kind of special attention which my sister or cousins dont . πŸ˜³ . 

Talking about girls, i am very proud to say that starting from me upto the youngest in my generation all are girls. πŸ˜ƒ Inspite of age gaps we bond quite well and i feel like a halo is around me when the little ones obey what i say or crowd around me addressing in the most respectable manner, waiting to do what i say at the drop of a hat .Aww!! so cute πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

But , the flip side is if the younger ones do something wrong , then i get blamed . As if i thought them πŸ€’ But, they have even praised me too when my youngsters did fab work . Definitely, expectations are lot on the first born as the youngsters of the house will pick up our ways . See, young ones look upto us and try to follow what we do or say . So ,its in our hands to show him a good way . Lead them properly and ensure they have success in their life through fair and just methods . A way of making our parents and relatives proud πŸ˜ƒ
Posted: 9 years ago
yaa Sneha I understand. I also has that halo around me. I also very well bond with my cousins both girls and boys even post marriage. But the problem is you cannot correct all. It also depends on the trust level their parents have on you and their expectations from the kid.
Some of my aunt /uncles want their kids to be like me. Like me means study engineering come to IT field πŸ˜†πŸ˜†.
I know the reality of both as I have been in the industry for now 11 years and there are cases where I have felt it might not be right place for my cousin to be.
But it is not taken in right spirit. They feel I am putting the kid down just because I don't want them to be successful and earn quite good just like me. You cannot do anything with those attitude. They just send the kid to some engineering college where they struggle somehow pass and come to IT field. It is like a craze.
 
So parents who impose their dreams on the kids actually cutting their wings, whereas parents who give kids some choice help them to grow not only physically but emotionally also.
Posted: 9 years ago
Superb Analysis @atominis πŸ‘
Posted: 9 years ago
Its true being the 1st child you will get extra attention as well as expectation
I reAlly wanted to see how shaurya was doing his school dayz
Posted: 9 years ago
Originally posted by anglisharma


Its true being the 1st child you will get extra attention as well as expectation
I reAlly wanted to see how shaurya was doing his school dayz

shaurya doing in school days ????...

maybe just like nisha or uske cousin me nisha k sath kiya tha 4-5 ladko ne...
Posted: 9 years ago
Thank you shrutiravi.😊
Yes eldest one has expectations too. I think Goenkas had expectations from Shaurya which os why they often cry, shout or even slap him at times for not being a good heir. But their problem is that they again leave it at that and let him be than correct him. They think he will perhaps himself change one day or at times Rajnath thinks he should do whatever he likes but learn to be covert like him.

I am also elder and I was pampered but yes there were responsibilities on me to take care of younger siblings, be a good example for them and often if they blundered I was questioned how I let it happen!

The responsibility was put here on Dev but not Shaurya. His family kept pampering him, saying this was all his, he had nothing to worry as they were with him and he was a Goenka.

Scolding once but covering up later will never let a child learn. Infact during rape case cover up they, especially Rajnath took Shaurya along to threaten lawyer etc. They showed him how they covered up, introduced him to those men who did underhand dealings. They set worst example. After that Shaurya started meeting people himself and ordered them what to do.

They keep no tabs on money he withdraws either. Deepika Padukone was describing once how her parents still monitor her expenditure though she has started earning herself. That's what responsible parenting ought to be. 

Regarding mentality, I feel somehow families give too much leeway to boys. Boys' bad habits, coming home late, getting drunk or abusive is questioned less or not questioned at all. They are mostly like, Let young boys be!

These business families are regressive and feudal. They place great premium on boys as inheritors who will carry forward legacy and expand empire.

Raj and Sakshi are crazy about Shaurya and their instincts disappear when it comes to identifying his lies. They easily believed his fake certificates and never thought how could he get so much marks if he didn't study at all! They still do not suspect his paralysis might be fake.

Rajnath was too busy in business and fun with Raima to focus on family. Imagine using all free time with mistress and drinks! Useless, uninvolved father who only gave material joys to kids.
Sakshi was too busy in cover ups of past, enjoying new status, scolding but falling back to pampering to really discipline kids. Over pampering, over protective useless mother.

The fact that they never got along, fought openly in front of kids and always contradicted each other in front of kids also ensured kids never took either of them seriously. 

They think their parents are just nagging pricks who can be manipulated easily.
Posted: 9 years ago
Originally posted by shruthiravi


yaa Sneha I understand. I also has that halo around me. I also very well bond with my cousins both girls and boys even post marriage. But the problem is you cannot correct all. It also depends on the trust level their parents have on you and their expectations from the kid.
Some of my aunt /uncles want their kids to be like me. Like me means study engineering come to IT field πŸ˜†πŸ˜†.
I know the reality of both as I have been in the industry for now 11 years and there are cases where I have felt it might not be right place for my cousin to be.
But it is not taken in right spirit. They feel I am putting the kid down just because I don't want them to be successful and earn quite good just like me. You cannot do anything with those attitude. They just send the kid to some engineering college where they struggle somehow pass and come to IT field. It is like a craze.
 
So parents who impose their dreams on the kids actually cutting their wings, whereas parents who give kids some choice help them to grow not only physically but emotionally also.

Lol i get it πŸ˜†πŸ˜† But parents should leave the ultimate choice to the child, only asking the eldest to guide them instead of pushing them in the line we choose . Yeah , sometimes our advice may seem like we are trying to belittle their children or showing that their kid is weak .Our intention will be understood in a quite opposite way .  The craze of engineers and doctors are still very rampant . Every parent wants their child to be a engineer or doctor . Its actually imposing their dreams on the child without realizing what the child dreams of . I am not a engineer , even though my parents wanted to me study . I was adamant and stubborn that i wanted to get into MBA. Thankfully, they let me do what i want only with a condition that i give in 100% to what i choose to do . 

My cousins are way too small to think about future or even college for that matter πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜† They are only in range of 10 mnths- 13 yrs old range πŸ˜† I know i have a baby gang πŸ€£


Posted: 9 years ago
Now their insane love for a animal-like son will be the start of their destruction
Posted: 9 years ago
Interesting analysis @AtominisπŸ‘πŸΌ
I find it so difficult from where to begin and where to end..

First of all right from the very beginning Sakshi and Rajnath  had been leading
life in a wrong way.They did not love each other,they love fame and money.

What they give to Shourya is not a true love I guess its material love,and yes
the expectations.Parents wants to bring out the best in their child,but in the show
this expectation drift to the other side.Rightly said "Expectation hurts"..😊

Sakshi as a mother instead of preventing Shourya to commit more blunders,she is
interested in hiding and covering up his mistakes.This is like an encouragement to Shourya..


All I can say if parents are living life in a wrong way,then how will you teach your child to
live a discipline life..😳
Posted: 9 years ago
Problem is not just Sakshi. But also Rajnath.
Young men need role model and disciplining factor which only father can offer. Often they do not listen to mother and that is where father has to step in. Even when Dev sometimes contradicts Suchitra more then she takes Arnab's name and gives his examples to him.

Rajnath has been a poor role model. What will son learn if he has seen his own father kill, share his sexual exploits with him and cheat on his own mom? He doesn't take his mom seriously at all. More so ever since he learnt that dad too had been fooling her.

Mothers sometimes get indulgent. Fathers have to be strict and balance it out. 

Sakshi and Rajnath both went to any extent to cover up his crimes. That was wrong. Neither taught him to take responsibility. 

If you remember earlier episodes then Sakshi's attempts to discipline Shaurya were thwarted by Rajnath who later laughed over it with Shaurya and asked him to do things stealthily. 

Parents should not insult each other or spill water on each others' efforts the way both Goenkas did.

Otherwise child doesn't take them seriously. In Shaurya's eyes both his parents are idiots and just moneybags who have to provide for him. Nothing more.

Raj and Sakshi might not have gotten along together but at least they should have tried to hide their ugly ways from Shaurya and Kangana and disciplined them. 

Only Sakshi was concerned about kind of company Shaurya was keeping. Rajnath was not. Son thought mom was hyper for no reason. 

Sakshi should not have given up whenever she wanted to scold or slap Shaurya. Or felt guilty in front of him for slapping him. Even if she had weakness for him she should not have let him know. Otherwise kids are quick to exploit that weak point of parents. 

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