Posted: 03 October 2006 at 11:22am
| IP Logged
A Prom Story
Zack: Hey, sweet thing. What's the special today? I hope it's tall, blonde, and (mimes an hourglass shape) curvy.
Maddie: Sorry, fresh out.
Zack: May I pour you some more generic, powered fruit drink? It's graple.
Maddie: Zack, you're so cute. (rubbing his hair)
Zack: (exasperated) Maddie, what do you take me for - a baby?
Cody: (miming crying)
Maddie: Well, I am baby-sitting.
Zack: You're adult-sitting... baby.
Maddie: Yeah, you're right. You're not the same little kid you were... 2 months ago.
Zack: That's right. I'm a guy with many mature interests.
Maddie: Such as?
Zack: Politics, culture, PG-13 movies.
Cody: (miming film-making)
Zack: (looking at Cody) Will you shutup!
Zack: I made you a special desert.
Maddie: Oh, speaking of desert. How would you guys like to serve some at my prom? Mosby charged me so much for the ballroom, I can't afford catering.
Zack: Hey. If you're in trouble, we're there for you. I'm your man. That's what men do.
Cody: (miming puking)
Zack: (looking at Cody) Will you leave! (miming blowing in Cody's direction)
Cody: (holding his hat and miming being blown away)
Zack: Now is there anything else I could help you with?
Maddie: Well, okay there is ONE thing I'm a little uncomfortable with and, need to practice.
Maddie: (laughing) No. Slow dancing.
Zack: I know how to slow dance.
Maddie: You do?
Zack: (as he turns on the radio) Sure. See, mature interests. (looking at Maddie) Oh, a romantic song. How fortuitous. I told you I got an 85 on my vocabulary test. (reaching out his hand) May I have this dance? (pulling Maddie to himself and proceeding to instruct) Now pop your elbow. Not like that. Now make your hand a light little feather. Lovely. Now, I am the frame and you are the pretty picture. Follow me. Step back. Step forward. Step back. Step forward. Now, under the bridge. Now, back under the bridge. Now, together. Apart. Together and (spinning around) run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, dip.
Maddie: Hey, you're pretty good.
Zack: Thank You.
Maddie: You know, with your moves and your impressive vocabulary, all you need is a tux to be the perfect date.
Zack: Mom, where's your razor?
Zack: Ever heard of a thing called morning stubble?
Carey: I've heard of it. I've just never seen it on your face.
Zack: That's because Maddie likes a clean shaven man.
Carey: Well ya got that goin' for ya. (wiping the shaving cream from Zack's face with a towel) But I think your expectations are about 4 to 5 years ahead of your face.
Zack: I've got something special with Maddie. I love her. And she loves me. She just doesn't know it yet.
Cody: (miming a sneeze) Doofus!
Carey: You know Zack, you do realize that there is a bit of an age difference between you and Maddie?
Zack: So, when I'm 17 she'll be 20. We can get married in 48 states... plus Guam... I checked.
Zack: So what age do you consider grown-up? (hopeful tone) 13?
Maddie: (chuckles) No, more like 18.
Zack: So then...2,189 days from now, we have a date? (Maddie gives him a look) I've also been doing better at math.
Maddie: When did you suddenly become so interested in school?
Zack: When you said you wanted someone smart.
Maddie: (smiling) That may be the nicest thing any boy---man---has ever said to me.
Zack: So does that mean you'll come with me to my prom?
Maddie: Tell you what. I'll dance with you at your prom if you dance with me at mine.
Zack: (hardly daring to believe it) Really?
Maddie: Come on.
(she and Zack hit the dance floor as a slow song plays)
Zack: May I have this dance?
(Maddie and Zack slow dance)
Pilot Your Own Life
Zack: Hey Maddie! Looking good! ... Except for those crummy clothes!
Maddie: This is my first step in "Piloting My Own Life!"
Zack: Oh no! He's gotten to you too! He's like a virus!
Maddie: That London! She has no scruples, no principles, no morals!
Zack: Want me to go spy on her?
Maddie: Yes! And take lots of pictures. Here's my camera phone.
Zack: What if she catches me?
Maddie: I'll miss you.
Zack: I can't do this to you. I just can't. I can't tell a lie.
Carey: Since when? You lie to me all the time.
Zack: But I can't lie to Maddie! (whispers) I LOVE her!
Maddie: Aw, Zack, why would you lie to me?
Zack: Because if you win this contest you'll become famous, and you'll move to New York, Paris, and Milan, and I'll never see you again!
Maddie: Oh Zack, I'm not going anywhere! And if I was I'd take you with me.
Zack: Really? (Hugs Maddie; she smiles and nods, and returns the hug)
(Maddie mouths 'No' to Carey over Zack's head.)
Maddie: (out of breath) I can't believe I stayed up three nights to finish this outfit, I hope Teen Trends likes it.
Zack: I'm sure you'll do fine.
Maddie: (mockingly and cranky) I'm sure you'll do fine. What do you know?!
Zack: See? This is why sleep is a good thing.
London: Well, that was your mistake!
Maddie: Well, your mistake was taking on Madeline Margaret Genevieve Miranda Catherine Fitzpatrick!
London: Fine! Stay in! I'll...beat all of you!
Maddie: You're going down!
London: You're going downer!
Carey: I'm so please that you boys care about the environment.
Zack: Hey, recycling cans is important and I love this planet and I want I'll children to live in a better place.......
Cody: Maddie's not here.
Zack: (Looks at Maddie's counter seeing Maddie wasn't there.) Oh,you carry this junk.
Zack: Hey Maddie I'm Recycling, you know Why? Because I love this planet almost as much as I love you.
Maddie: ( rubbing Zack's hair) Good for you.
Zack: She wants me.
Zack: Did I ever tell you that you look pretty when you're mad.
Maddie: Well then I must be gorgeous because I am furious!
Zack: Hey. I would never let you down. You'll be so impressed when you see how this great father-to-be has corralled these little suckers.
Cody: (grabbing the other walkie-talkie) We are dealing with an evil genius.
Maddie: Hmm, what's this? (picks up a rose with a card attached) To Maddie, you make me wish I was a better person. Love, Randall. (pauses). Aww, that is so sweet.
Zack: I can't believe I'm losing you to a younger man!
Not So Sweet 16
Zack: Listen, I want to get Maddie the perfect gift for her birthday. What do you think she wants?
Esteban: Well, I know she wants Miss London to change the date of her party.
Zack: I meant something that I can wrap.
Esteban: Ah. Well, what man really knows the perfect gift?
Cody: Here it is. Maddie's perfect gift.
Esteban: I guess it would be that man.
Zack: What did you get her?
Cody: A tea set, including a China cup with her name painted on it, her favorite tea imported from India, and a box of cinnamon sticks.
Zack: Well, how did you know she wanted all that?
Cody: Because last week, she said to us, "For my birthday, I'd really like a China cup with my name painted on it, my favorite tea imported from India, and a box of cinnamon sticks."
Zack: What was I doing when she said that?
Cody: Staring at her, thinking about that talk we had with Dad.
Zack: (to Cody) Fine, then I guess I won't find Maddie the perfect gift and she'll never love me. And we'll never get married, forcing me to live on your couch, eating your food, not doing my laundry year after year.
Cody: Okay, stop it already!
Zack: (To Maddie about her party) And I'm ready to party!
(Zack looks around and sees practically no one)
Zack: Who died?
Maddie: No one. But Grandpa Fitz can go any second!
Maddie: Hey! Did you hear that? I bet it's the kids from school!
(Senior citizens walk in)
Zack : Umm... guessing they got held back?
Maddie: This is so unfair! I have to have my party at the Goose Lodge because my brother needs braces. (to Liam) Thanks a lot, you thumb sucker!
Liam: You have no friends! Except this creepy dweeb!
Zack: Come over here, booger! I'll straighten your teeth!
Zack: I insist you open my gift! This party may barely have a pulse! Hey is that guy breathing?! (Old Man Breathes) Okay good!
Maddie: (After opening Zack's/Cody's present) Oh, and there's a card in here!
Zack: A card?
Maddie: (reads) Dear Maddie. Zack didn't buy you this, I did. Love Cody.
Zack: Just like him to put it in the inside! Look, Maddie, I wanted to get you the perfect gift, but everything was too expensive! And they don't sell puppies to minors, so...
Maddie: (To Zack) I love your present!
Zack: But it's not even from me!
Maddie: I'm not talking about the gift. You came to my party, and that's the best present I could've ever gotten.
(Maddie pulls Zack close to her and hugs him)
(Zack bowls a strike)
Maddie: Wow, Zack! You really are good!
Zack: Tip of the iceberg, baby!