MaNan OS : It took you so long...to say

Dear Dairy,

Diwali, every person who is desi (Indian) awaits this celebration, unlike me. It was supposed to be my most memorable day. At least I thought so. It has been one but not the one I had ever imagined. I lost him; my first love; my Manik 5 years back and my Diwali celebration ended forever.

Today he is going to be back once again here in Lucknow, 600 meters away from my house, with his girlfriend, Zarleen. It was a snap from their prom night that I saw few days ago. The girl was all over him. Zarleen, the tall, dusky, sexy woman was every man's dream. My heart started skipped a beat seeing his hand possessively wrapped around her petite waist and then the realization hit me. I was not even close to Zarleen.

"Nandini, where are you my love?", her mother called her.

Nandini quickly slammed her dairy and pulled the drawer to keep it inside. She locked the drawer and tossed the key inside her pocket quickly.

"Oh my love, you are still in your room? Can you please help me with the mithai (sweet)?" Her mother told Nandini while wiping her sweat buds.

"Mamma, what's the need for all these? Do you remember the doctor had asked you not to go to the kitchen? Maa, when will you take your health seriously? I nearly lost you". Nandini hurried towards her mother who was nearly in a fainting state and gather her in her arms. Cupping her tired face Nandini said, "Mamma, you don't need to do this. Maya Di repeatedly warned you and said that she would arrange for the mithai from the shop".

"It's Manik's favourite Nandini. He loves my gajar ka halwa, as it reminds him of his mother", she said caressing her concerned daughter's face.

Nandini remained quiet and looked down. Her mother pressed her hand and said, "Nandini, I want you to come to Malhotra Mansion with me. Try to forget whatever had happened between you both in the past".

Nandini released her hand and got up. "Mamma, you know it very well that I don't celebrate Diwali and moreover I have moved on from that incident. The greatest proof is he left for US almost immediately without even giving me a chance to explain and he accused me. He said I did not protest when he broke the marriage because I had feelings for Rahul and all the while I played with his feelings. If he cannot distinguish what I felt for him and my feelings for my best friend then I am sorry we don't deserve each other. I thought our bonding was stronger than anything. But I was so wrong". Nandini turned her back towards her mother to hide her tears, which were threatening to fall". And now I see him happy with someone else. My love, my care, my warmth meant nothing to him", she said and ran towards her bathroom.

**

Manik checked his watch for the one last time and gazed towards the woman next to him. Her hand looped around his arms and her head rested on his broad shoulders. How he wished her to be his Nandini instead of Zarleen. It was the sweetest dream he had 5 years back when he decided to say those three magical words to Nandini. All his dreams broke into pieces when he got to know that his Nandini choose her best friend over him.

It was Diwali and everyone was waiting for Nandini to join so that they can finally give a proper name to Manik and Nandini's love. Manik had a simple platinum band for her ring finger to seal their unsaid, unexpressed feelings. Like a fool he waited, waited and waited and when he finally decided to drive to her house keeping his ego aside for once, he was shocked to see Nandini in Rahul's arms. From the window it seemed as if they were kissing each other. That very moment he wanted to straggle Rahul to death. He felt like a fool to think that just like him Nandini would secure her first kiss for him only.

Manik closed his eyes and wanted to erase her face for the last time but he failed miserably. All their memories came rushing in his mind. How she used to chirp around him? How she effortlessly made him laugh all the time with her antics? How she used to bring jalebi's for him. Initially none of her jalebi's formed a proper shape. But he still used to have them because once when she was 10 years old while making jalebi's she burnt her finger and she cried all day in pain. Seeing tears in her eyes he couldn't bare. He purposely burnt his finger and showed it to her. Forgetting her own pain she started nursing him with her tiny fingers. Then both of them placed their fingers side by and side and laughed thoroughly saying they cannot distinguish between which was whose. That was the very first moment they shared their first hug and Manik exactly remember how he felt in her arms. She was tiny, a bit lanky but she had motherly warmth in her embrace.

His flight landed in Lucknow.

**

Malhotra Mansion was filled with joy. Their youngest son was back after 5 long years. Everyone loved Manik but they were dead against his decision. Maya, his elder sister was especially angry on him because she thought it was Manik who rejected Nandini whereas Manik hid the truth from all so that no one pointed a finger towards his Nandini's character. He turned the situation portraying him to be the culprit. He said he did not want to get tied to someone so soon when there were better options available for him. When everyone told him that he and Nandini were made for each other, he simply said if they were, they would be the same after 5 years also. He anticipated some news about Rahul and Nandini tying knot or at least officially seeing each other within 6 months of his disappearance, but nothing of that sort happened till today. There were no news, no gossip; no Maya weeping over her brother's state saying Nandini was a cheat. Initial one month Nandini kept on sending him emails questioning him, almost accusing him for leaving her like that, breaking off their marriage without even discussing with her and the worst he did not even let her know that he left to persuade higher studies. At the end of second month when she did not stop Manik emailed her explaining his reasons. He wrote about the Diwali night what he saw and told her that it was enough for him to cut off all the ties with her. He expected a last and final email from her on her defense but none came. He waited and waited. But he never saw her name in his inbox.

After three years when he still could not erase her memories from his mind he planned to see other girls. His hunt began to replace Nandini's face with someone else just like she replaced him with Rahul but unfortunately Nandini's face started haunting him even more. The more the got involved with other females; the more he got to know what he lost. Nandini was not only a girl in his life but his life. He changed girlfriends like a woman changes her napkins, yet he couldn't find a substitute. Zarleen was the only female stuck to him for 3 months. She was officially the longest he had been dating just because she knew when and how to give him space. His thought broke when Nandini's mother came and stood in front of him.

Manik pulled his favourite aunty into a warm hug and held her for long as if he was trying to seek comfort that he used to get it from Nandini. But it did not happen and it left him frustrated.

"Son, I have got you your favourite Gajar Ka Halwa", Nandini's mother kissed Manik on his forehead.

"Thank you", he said squeezing her in his arms and his eyes never leaving the entrance of the house.

Nandini's mother blessed him. He was hesitant to ask her about his point of interest due to his ocean like ego and decided to wait for few more minutes. When Nandini did not show up he rushed out of his house taking his car keys. He could hear everyone calling but he did not care. It was like madness that he wanted to see Nandini's face once. The girl he missed so badly. He never thought he would react like a lovesick puppy and crash his ego for someone who rejected him.

**

"I am so happy for your guys", Nandini genuinely smiled at Rahul while talking to Sheetal over the phone.

Rahul gave her a tight smile and held her hand.

"Finally, finally my dream came true. My best friend is marrying love of his life. You both are one of the luckiest people in this world to get the person whom you love the most", Nandini's eyes welled up thinking about Manik's rejection.

Rahul immediately pulled her into a tight hug to soothed her pain. He had been her only support after Manik's rejection when Nandini went through her most vulnerable phase. He knew everything and wished to explain it to Manik. But Nandini stopped him by saying if Manik cannot trust her, he is not eligible for any explanation.

The moment they broke the hug, both of them heard the clapping sound. Nandini and Rahul both turned to see the source of it.

Nandini's heart flipped seeing her Manik after 5 years. He was a man now. A grown up, matured man. Everything about him was manly, his smell, his body language, his dress. A boy who wore only jeans and t-shirt now wore a tuxedo.

"Clever girl I must say" Manik said in an accusing tone. "Sent your Mamma away from the house so that you can call your lover over to...", his words faded when t Rahul held his collar, their nose almost touching and their eyes fixed on each other.

"Stop it guys", Nandini cried out in panic.

"Not today Nandini, don't stop me today" Rahul barked.

Manik held Rahul's collar and effortlessly laid him flat on the ground and punched him hard on his jaw.

"Manik", Nandini screamed and pushed him away from Raul. "How dare you?"

"My, my, the lioness ready to spat who ever try to hurt her lion?" Manik mocked and looked at Nandini in disgust. "Wasn't it this man who stole you from me Nandini? I have full right to hit him for what he did".

"You have no right to hurt him Manik. If you do then don't blame me for hitting you. Do you get that?" Nandini fisted Manik's jacket and jerked him. Manik held Nandini's fist and pinned her against the nearest wall.

"Chodo mujhe" (leave me) "I said leave me Manik".

But Manik blocked her gripping her hand tightly.

"aah!" she winced in pain.

Manik turned to see Rahul still lying on the floor wincing in pain and then looked back to Nandini narrowing his eyes.

"I want him to see what I saw 5 years back on the Diwali night. Irony you call it. I saw this son of a pig kissing my girl and now I want him to experience the same. He closed the distance, "let me see how it feels to see your girlfriend kissed by someone else".

Nandini's mouth formed an "O". What the hell was he talking about? How can he kiss her like this? And before she could protest, Manik quickly held her nape and crashed his lips on her. Nandini froze immediately feeling his lips and then he pulled back. The tears that were threatening to spill over gave up and ran down her cheeks.

Manik felt a tight knot in his belly seeing her tears. It was evident that she hated that kiss, that's why she was crying. He too hated to kiss her like that. He always dreamt of an angelic kiss, slowly, taking time, tasting her every each, but the rage was so much that he just couldn't control. All he could think seeing her in Rahul's arms once again was to punish her. He wanted to humiliate her just as he felt 5 years ago.

Nandini was about to slap him when he held her hand and twisted it painfully and once again dropped his mouth on her, but this time possessively.

"What's going on?" all of them heard a female voice.

The female ran towards Rahul and hugged him tightly. Then she checked his bruises and looked at Nandini in Manik's grip.

"What the hell is happening here?" the woman barked. "Baby who beat you up like this?" the woman said almost in a chocked voice.

"I did" Manik stood proudly in front of her, "For what he has done to me".

The woman got up on her feet and was about to punch Manik, when Nandini came in between and stopped the woman from hitting Manik.

"Sheetal, please don't hit him, let me explain", Nandini said guarding Manik.

Manik just stared at Nandini unable to understand the rush of emotions his heart felt seeing her saving him from a woman who was no even close to his strength.

Sheetal looked at Nandini in shocked and then she saw Manik's face properly. She smiled sarcastically and nodded. "No way Nandini. No way you can save this man from me now. I know you still love this man blindly and you will chose him over your best friend but for me my husband is everything I got and I will not back off.

"Sheetal, baby, please stop sweetheart. I am fine" Rahul pleaded and tried to get up. Sheetal rushed towards him and hugged him back.

"Shh! I am fine sweetie". Rahul cupped Sheetal's face and kissed her quivering lips.

Nandini turned towards Manik and pointed him towards the door, "Get out of here".

When Manik refused to leave Nandini marched out of the house.

Manik stood numb for sometime then looked at the couple cozying in the ground. He gave a hand to Rahul helped him to stand. Once he was on his feet Manik gave an apologetic hug and asked for his forgiveness.

"Go and get your girl Manik. She loves you more than you can think off. I know what she has gone through without you in these 5 years".

And for the first time in his life his eyes became glassy. He was terribly wrong in judging his Nandini. How could he even think of her loving another man? But what he saw was also not untrue. It was the time for him to get some answers.

**

Nandini was rubbing her bare hand and was walking along and empty lane in the park. Diwali crackers were bursting over her head illuminating her face.

"Nandini!" Manik called her but she did not listen. She kept on walking.

He caught up with her and pulled her to face him.

"We need to talk" Manik said and chocked seeing Nandini tears glittering.

He pulled her in a hug and rocked her, "shh! I am sorry. I am so sorry. Please don't cry", he rubbed her back while Nandini fisted his jacket and started sobbing.

"Go away", she said in a low voice. "Please go away", she pleaded.

"Not before we talk shona". (sweetheart)

"Don't call me that", she protested.

A smile broke across his face and he rested his cheek on her head then slowly he kissed her partition.

"Nandini, please tell me what happened that night. I owe an explanation".

"You don't Manik".

"Yes I do", he said calmly making her flush with him. "Tell me please".

"What's the need when you don't trust me. Why now?"

Manik look at her and cupped her face. "I was a stupid donkey for not believing you. Deep inside I expected you to tell me what happened but you did not".

"I was hurt Manik. I was so hurt because of your accusation".

"Tell me Nandini, I want to know, I have every right to know. Don't I?"

"Yes you do", Nandini said in a low tone then looked down. "That night Rahul met with an accident", Manik gasped when Nandini looked directly in his eyes and started telling him. "Luckily Sheetal was with him and my house was nearby. She drove to get up the doctor. He was badly hurt. Blood was oozing all over and I was trying to stop it, that's why I could not make it to Malhotra mansion on time", Nandini said and hugged him. "And you...you" she stammered unable to speak anymore.

"I thought you were kissing him. I thought you gave away your first special kiss to someone other than me. I was mad, I was hurt", Manik confessed.

"You stole my first kiss Manik" Nandini punched him lightly and Manik froze.

"I have dreamt my first kiss to be special, to be out of love but you forced that kiss on me and ruined it".

"You mean, you have never been kissed before today?" Manik looked at her astonishingly. "Oh Nandini" Manik gathered her in his arms once again and cursed under his breath.

Nandini broke the hug and looked at Manik with her teary eyes and slowly cupped his face. "There was, is and will be only one person in my life".

Manik leaned to touch his forehead with hers and closed his eyes. "Tell me it's me", he whispered across her lips.

"No one else other than you Manik. I..."

Manik placed his index finger to silent her. "Let me say that first".

"Manik!"

"I love you shona". (sweetheart)

"Manik...umm...hmm" she moaned when his lips met hers.