Mother isn't Goddess nor is wife the better half of every man.
Motherhood is glorified, especially in South Asia. Women suffer from a whole range of conditions like Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome, Postpartum Depression and Narcissism that makes them indifferent to or harm their children. Most Indians are either ignorant or brush facts under the carpet to maintain a socially appealing facade. The same attitude is carried over in other areas of life. For instance: crime. The first Indian woman to be hanged had murdered her 4 children. Besides, a lot of parents are bad role models for their children. Sons are overtly and/or covertly taught to beat their wives and daughters are taught to put up with such behaviour. In my opinion, such parents are far from gods and goddesses. Women, who don't want to be mothers because children aren't a priority, but are forced into motherhood aren't considered at all. Those who give up their children for adoption and the like too are ignored.
Women are rarely asked to choose between their father and husband. What makes people assume that women are more capable of love and compassion than men? According to psychologists (Example: Hatfield), men and women are capable of equal love and passion. It is social conditioning, (perceptions reinforced by media), that makes them believe or act otherwise. Women are forced to fulfill glorified roles or are stigmatized. Notions such as 'mother is greater than god' instill fear and are used for guilt-tripping. They also help parents maintain total control over their adult children, especially sons who are 'Ours' (daughters are 'Paraya Dhan'). Excessive pampering of sons is because in a patriarchal society, men are special beings.
As far as romantic relationships are concerned, homosexual men feel fulfilled in gay relationships. In India, the number of married men committing suicide is double the number of single men committing suicide. Adultery is rampant and divorce rates are rising. This wouldn't have been the case if wives were ideal.
Yours is a subjective question with no right or wrong answer. A guy from what is popularly seen as a dysfunctional family would most probably choose his wife while a guy brought up by a smothering mother, programmed to believe in superiority of mother over wife, would choose his mother. Situation also matters. When the wife is wrong, it is ethically right for the son to side with his mother and vice-versa. For an ideal man, both are equally important. Unfortunately, reality isn't ideal.
Edited by lalalee - 24 July 2014 at 3:21pm