It was almost midnight but his eyes were devoid of sleep. The greatest archer was passing night by changing sides on bed alone in his tent. It had been 8 days since the ultimate battle had begun. But first time the loss of the war became his personal with death of Iravan to whom he never fulfilled any duty of father except giving birth. Today that brave son of Uloopi fulfilled a son's duty by giving away his life only to help his father, the father who never visited him or his mother neither showered his affection towards him . Arjun even had forgotten about his existence until Iravan met him in Indroloka. And what did he say upon meeting the young prince? Help me in war, that's it. No words of affection, no fatherly embrace nothing. Why? He didn't really loved Ulloopi after the phase of initial infatuation and physical attraction was over but what was Iravan's fault that he couldn't acknowledge him as son? Because Uloopi was a childhood widow? Because she abducted him and that hurt his warrior ego? What didn't Uloopi gave him , her love,devotion magical power and at last her only son. One order from Arjun and that became truth of Iravan's life, In War-field kauravas got frightened of him, pandavas praised his valor saying he is worthy son of Arjun but Arjun knows he doesn't deserve any credit for Iravan's bravery, he couldn't be a worthy father of him. Today after losing him Arjun realized Iravan's worth, after floating his body in river towards Uloopi's kingdom he cursed himself for not taking him in arms in lifetime. Alas If he could call him son once , the handsome young boy everytime looked at his father with great expectation whenever he came to him only to hear the word son from his father's lips but Arjun seemed had turned a blind eye towards that. Why oh lord why? How could i be so heartless and cruel to that poor soul.
Arjun cursed himself again and again but he failed to console himself. He wished Madhav was with him tonight but he didn't dare to go to him. After the divine knowledge of Geeta Krishna delivered to him, its meaningless to mourn over the personal loss but till the material body exist emotions related that too will exist and a father's heart is still possessed by him Geeta didn't turn his heart into stone after all. But Arjun can't ever disrespect Geeta by weeping and questioning its creator again. And what will he ask, that if death of the son whom he didn't really ever acknowledge could hurt him this much what will it cause if his worst fear turns true. Yes even after acquiring the great knowledge and being freed from all doubt his one weakness remained same, the very part of his mind,body and soul, the sweetest cause of his existence, whose entry made him complete, his moonlike beautiful braveheart prince, his life Abhimanyu. Whose valor had already created a myth, not only his own people even enemies sing whose praise. In this young age who had become a living legend that dearest son of Arjun, giving birth to whom his beloved princess Subhadra become more dearer to him, for whom he got the precious innocent flower princess Uttara although except his son Shrutakarma other four sons of Panchali were elder to Abhimanyu. Even in nightmare he can't think of being parted from whom during the time of 13 years of separation single moment didn't pass without thinking about whom how will he give the place to the thought of losing him?but Iravan's death is compelling him to think about the dreaded possibility and the much he is thinking the more he is feeling restless. How can he keep himself calm in next day battlefield if he loses his sanity like this?
"pitashree" it felt like somebody nursed his wound. Looking at the entrance of his tent at first he thought his disturbed mind is showing illusion, he rubbed his eyes. No he is not halucinating. His braveheart is right there. Moonlight is reflecting on his moonlike fair skin, it seemed a piece of moon is standing there.
"Putra, what are you doing here?do you need anything?" Arjun was both surprised and worried for possible dangers.
"pitashree, will you allow me to spend the night here?" asked Abhimanyu softly
"and Uttara?" Although pleased with Abhimanyu's request Arjun couldn't ignore Uttara, because of having no daughter of his own Virat princess had occupied that empty place of his heart so Arjun was much concern to her happiness, so ever since he got her married to Abhimanyu he ordered not to disturb the couple in night. So although glad Arjun hesitated.
"Uttara is sleeping in mothers' tent, they will take better care of her" Abhimanyu's voice seemed a bit grave or it was an error of father's heart? Without thinking more Arjun opened his arms and as in childhood Abhimanyu jumped on his chest. Taking his all hopes and dreams into his arms Arjun's eyes got filled into tear.
"son how do you know at this moment i was needed you the most." Arjun's voice got chocked
"because i am your son, father" Abhimanyu wiped the tears from Arjun's eyes, it was hard to understand at the moment who was the son and who was the father. "and the nephew of someone who knows everything". Abhimanyu continued.
"Madhav!"
An amazed Arjun lose his grip over his prince giving chance for him to sit properly on bed.
"mamashree told me how much pain did brother Iravan's departure caused you, you are thinking yourself the responsible for his death, how could i hold myself anymore" Abhimanyu's words at last brought a pale smile on Arjun's face
Why does he everytime fails to understand Krishna, Arjun sighs in relax, even after knowing the truth he is still his Madhav's Parth.
"father please don't hurt yourself,brother Iravan's soul never will get peace otherwise. He can see how much do you love him,please don't consider yourself guilty, he never did, mamashree told how much respect brother had for you, he never had any bitter feeling for you "paused Abhimanyu ,he engulfed the pain in his throat, even in this short time he had got attached with Iravan. He had magical powers same as brother Ghatotkach , they used to spend ample time together, he was not less hurt losing his brother, but its time for avenge not mourn. His jaw got firmed in determination
"uncle Duryodhan had ordered raksas Alambush to kill brother Iravan, the way he caused your pain i promise you father i will cause his, until i wont kill laxmana in front uncle Duryodhana's eyes i can't accept even my death even if Mahakaal himself comes to take.." before Abhimanyu could finish his words Arjun dragged him into his chest and imprisoned him in his arms with all his might , Abhimanyu's head was pressed against his father's broad chest he couldn't utter a word anymore.
"no son don't even dare to talk about death in front me, you are causing my heart bleeding that even sharpest weapon of universe can never cause, may lord give you my life span" Arjun's tears fell upon Abhimanyu's head .keeping eyes shut the young prince got wet with father's love and blessings as form of those precious tears.
In childhood he used to consider father's arm is the safest shelter in three worlds which can save him from every kind of danger, he smiled sadly in father's chest, how he wished that he could still think like that. Arjun tightened his grip even more,similar thought process was going on his head too, first time he felt his arms are too short in front fate's cruel hands that can snatch his gem away alas he is so helpless.
Sensing Abhimanyu struggling for air Arjun at last unfold his arms. As childhood Abhimanyu keeps his head on father's lap after so many years.
"father remember how did you use to sing lullaby for me, even mothers couldn't sing that beautifully, how much i miss that, will you sing for me again?" Abhimanyu was looking as innocent as 14 years back as if nothing changed in between.
"you yourself are going to be father my son , you must learn the lullaby yourself, soon you have to sing for your own son" Arjun's face lightened up with a smile in possibility of a bright future
"i wish that could happen" sighs Abhimanyu in despair , only his heart knows how all the nights in these 3 months he had spent in the very dream of playing his own child on his arms ever since he learnt about Uttara's pregnancy but alas.
"what do you mean son?" Arjun's smile changed into a frown
"i mean i can't sing as beautiful as you, so that won't help the child much to sleep, you better trust on your student in that case" Abhimanyu smiled innocently, he can't take away father's smile again by talking about harsh reality.
"undoubtedly you are Madhav's nephew, you inherited his naughtiness as well" Arjun patted Abhimanyu's head and smiled relaxingly
"father do you remember how did you use to play with me in childhood, we used to go out for adventure without telling anyone and badima used to scold us and mother used to save us with new excuses and then i used to go and sit in badima's lap and her anger used to disappear"
The golden memory of Abhimanyu in Panchali's arm made Arjun nostalgic, Panchali always used to complain that Arjun doesn't care for their son Shrutakarma as he is always busy with Abhimanyu. But she herself loved Abhimanyu way more than all her five sons.
"how can i forget son? life was so much perfect then" sighs Arjun
"father will you give me a promise?" Abhimanyu placed his beautiful big eyes on his father's face same as first time when Arjun took him in his arms.
"son my whole life is for you tell me what can i do for my prince?" Arjun kept caressing Abhimanyu's head.
"father promise me my child will never be deprived of your affection until he gets mature enough, promise me you will shower same even more affection for my son ,sing lullaby for him, teach weaponry same as you used to do for me, my son will find his father in you will you promise me that?" Arjun got stunned, he didn't know how to respond to this request, why Abhimanyu is sounding such unusual tonight.
"son what are you saying, if I am going to do all these for your son then what will be your role?" Arjun was trying to figure out what was going on his son's heart, tonight his own part seemed as a mystery to him.
"father you told me you can give me everything and now you are hesitating to give me a simple promise?" Abhimanyu pouted like a 5 years old child even gods couldn't ignore his demand in this situation, Arjun was compelled to give his consent.
"yes son i promise, but.." Arjun's word got lost in Abhimanyu's yawn
"father, i am feeling so sleepy, tomorrow morning we have to get up early, kurukshetra is awaiting for us, seems like i have to go there being deprived of your lullaby" again pouted the moonlike face,
Arjun couldn't hold anymore and kept showering kisses on the piece of moon as he used to do 14 years back.
"father, please sing" moaned the prince, and Arjun had no power to ignore. He started singing and in no time he forgot that he is in amidst of a battleground. Abhimanyu smiled in bliss, after many years he slept peacefully ever for last time in his life.
Arjun spent whole night looking at the beautiful face of his cub, he kissed the moon's forehead again and again still father's heart didn't get satisfied, at last tiredness occupied his eyelids and he fell asleep clutching his bundle of joy to his heart.
The next day morning when Madhav woke him up Abhimanyu had already left for battlefield. That was the last time he was able to spend time with his greatest gift of life.
"did Abhimanyu know he was going away from me forever? that's why he sounded so mysterious that day? For eternity i will wonder that.was he really an angel who in that short period gave me happiness of lifetime?even before bidding adieu he gave me pleasure of fatherhood for last time? I know i have to wait to get my answers but all i know in the end i will meet him again for sure and i am looking for the moment from now onwards."
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