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One Shot- Pencils and Erasers

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ARandKJFan

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ARandKJFan

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Posted: 14 June 2014 at 12:10pm | IP Logged

Pencils and Erasers

He was her pencil, while she was his eraser. Like an eraser, who had no identity of his own, no use when alone, she was turning into his shadow. She followed him around everywhere, they were not inseparable, and rather, she worshipped the ground he walked on. She wasn't proud of herself for though she didn't like being independent.

But he, he completely enjoyed it and tried to take as much advantage as he could. He'd deliberately mess up things, and then his faithful eraser would come and erase it- clean up the mess, take care of the situation her dear pencil had put her in. She fumed, she tried to throw tantrums, but in the end, she cleaned up after him. While all he did was laugh and tell her that she was adorable and what would he without her?

At times, she failed. In those times, as a pencil would scribble on an eraser, he marked her; abused her, but she, being as faithful as ever, still erased his mistakes, without ever leaving a mark. The marks he left on her had no impact when she erased his mistakes. She was his eraser and it was her duty. And so, the pencil kept making mistakes. Sometimes, they were small, and sometimes they were big. As she rubbed on and on, her patience and her love decreased, just like the size of the metaphorical eraser that she considered herself to be. She became angrier and angrier, the eraser decreasing in size much faster now.

One day, the pencil spoiled it. She erased someone else's deeds as well and his friend, the fellow pencil made a hole in her conscience.

And the eraser was not of use anymore.

He threw her away. After all, when an eraser becomes too small and starts slipping out of your fingers, when it turns rebellious, you start losing patience and you throw it away.

And so, the eraser was thrown away, the hole in her heart, never mended.


                                                                                             


I was and I am quite proud of this concept. It was meant to be something else and it would have resulted in the tragic demise of this OS had my dear Katniss not helped me out by writing out the one paragraph which helped me give the story direction. Also, credits to her for editing. Thank you Mugsy. Hug

Love,
Ananya



Edited by ARandKJFan - 18 June 2014 at 4:23am

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.scarlet.d3_roxAzureLichtNonComposMentis--Akshu--Flame.Of.Rosebookworm-ALS--

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Flame.Of.Rose

IF-Sizzlerz

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Posts: 12165

Posted: 14 June 2014 at 12:16pm | IP Logged

Res

________________

Unres

 

Can I just say how much proud I am right now? You know just saying in short that this is beautiful, spell bounding or that I am left speechless would be plain insult to this piece of art. You remind me so much of myself. When of your age I used to write something so deep or mature, people will call me crazy or be worried for me but never did anyone praised me for what I wrote.  I'd won't do that to you for I know how bad it feels. So here you go Ma'am:

 

 

He was her pencil, while she was his eraser. Like an eraser, who had no identity of his own, no use when alone, she was turning into his shadow.

 

How beautifully you portrayed it baccha, such a simple line holding humongous depth. Eraser can never be used if pencil won't make mistakes, she is merely a shadow.

 

She wasn't proud of herself for that because she didn't like being dependent on anyone. 

She cannot be independent even if she wants for she knows her place that is why she chose to be a shadow. * Correct that dependent with independent. Sentence is giving contras tic meaning. *

But he, he completely enjoyed it and tried to take as much advantage as he could. He'd deliberately mess up things, and then his faithful eraser would come and erase it- clean up the mess, take care of the situation her dear pencil had put her in. She fumed, she tried to throw tantrums, but in the end, she cleaned up after him. While all he did was laugh and tell her that she was adorable and what would he without her? 

How much this would remind many of us of our dearest best friends. All we do is to spoil things just to get reaction out of them, to see them caring for us and cleaning up the mess we made despite the tantrums they throw. They would never leave our side no matter how much we annoy them and taunt them.

At times, she failed. In those times, as a pencil would scribble on an eraser, he marked her; abused her, but she, being as faithful as ever, still erased his mistakes, without ever leaving a mark. The marks he left on her had no impact when she erased his mistakes. She was his eraser and it was her duty.

How dutiful our friends are, isn't it? They never leave our side and stick by us in thick and thin. Many times we hurt them badly but they just forget it thinking that we are having hard time, we need some space and also don't they say that to err is too human. They follow on that path too.

And so, the pencil kept making mistakes. Sometimes, they were small, and sometimes they were big. As she rubbed on and on, her patience and her love decreased, just like the size of the metaphorical eraser that she considered herself to be. She became angrier and angrier, the eraser decreasing in size much faster now. 

But then how long those innocent souls will keep covering our mistakes, we don't respect them and be grateful to them so they keep getting angrier and angrier to an extent to be rebellious. But all we do is put them back to their place for we have an upper hand. We make them realize how pitiful their situation is and if not for us then they are nothing.

One day, the pencil spoiled it. She erased someone else's deeds as well and his friend, the fellow pencil made a hole in her conscience. 

Ah! The games fate plays with them then. We being our ungrateful self can never care for anyone and so do the people around us. How can anyone expect our surrounding to be generous enough? Those people did the same mistakes, of hoping to be treated nicely at least somewhere. Alas, their fate has other plans!

And the eraser was not of use anymore. 

He threw her away. After all, when an eraser becomes too small and starts slipping out of your fingers, when it turns rebellious, you start losing patience and you throw it away. 

And so, the eraser was thrown away, the hole in her heart, never mended.

 

And when everything is done, we are fulfilled with our purpose and use; we throw these people away like some asset. Who gives 2 cents to their feelings? Absolutely no one. Its their fate, their mistake, their life, their choice.

 

Niece I can tell how amazed I am seeing someone like me, someone with maturity beyond comprehension of our age group. Kudos baccha for writing something so deep. I won't use any adjective to praise it for none would deem justice to what you wrote and at your maturity to take out life out from just lifeless stuff. It's not daily that we think of something like this. All I can say is, I don't want you to stop writing ever. It's a beautiful way to express ourselves to the world without letting them know of a thing. I feel so blessed and proud that I know you and I am your friend/Maasi.

 

What you wrote is just something else. So deep, mature and heartwarming.

Love you baccha for writing this

 

-  Aditi Massi



Edited by Flame.Of.Rose - 18 June 2014 at 4:19am

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anomaly.

NonComposMentis

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Posts: 2939

Posted: 14 June 2014 at 12:17pm | IP Logged
I don't know why I'm using this ID here. I just am.

You promise me you're not writing those cliches ab. Or at least, try to keep them to a minimum.
Because when you don't do cliches, you end up doing this.
And this, is brilliant.

Sure, I wrote that one para for ya. But had you not shown me the initial bit, that para wouldn't have happened on its own.

My protege, make me feel proud like this, Kid. It's a grand feeling.
(Yeah, technically, I know quite nothing about writing, but I'll always tell you what I think is right and what isn't. So that makes you my protege by my law. :P )

May you find someone to bully into changing what they wrote too. ;)

Love. 
And if you were around, I'd pull your cheeks too.

Mugs.



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Flame.Of.Rose

anomaly.

IF-Rockerz

anomaly.

Joined: 17 September 2011

Posts: 8293

Posted: 14 June 2014 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
RESS
meri life reserve karte karte hi nikal jaayegi = )
 
 
I'd love to start with a WOW-cause it is wow. You've left me spell bound. This was euphemism at it's best. I can't tell you how proud I am.
He was her pencil, while she was his eraser. Like an eraser, who had no identity of his own, no use when alone, she was turning into his shadow. - This is just so perfect. You need to give me proof that you're a bacchii cause you so don't write like one. She followed him around everywhere, they were not inseparable, and rather, she worshipped the ground he walked on. She wasn't proud of herself for that because she didn't like being dependent on anyone.
 
But he, he completely enjoyed it and tried to take as much advantage as he could. He'd deliberately mess up things, and then his faithful eraser would come and erase it- clean up the mess, take care of the situation her dear pencil had put her in. She fumed, she tried to throw tantrums, but in the end, she cleaned up after him. While all he did was laugh and tell her that she was adorable and what would he without her?
Aanyaa? You've really exceled in writing. This is so mature stuff. It's so gorgeous and I feel so good I could read this.

At times, she failed. In those times, as a pencil would scribble on an eraser, he marked her; abused her, but she, being as faithful as ever, still erased his mistakes, without ever leaving a mark. The marks he left on her had no impact when she erased his mistakes. She was his eraser and it was her duty. And so, the pencil kept making mistakes. Sometimes, they were small, and sometimes they were big. As she rubbed on and on, her patience and her love decreased, just like the size of the metaphorical eraser that she considered herself to be. She became angrier and angrier, the eraser decreasing in size much faster now.
I have no words that could describe how badly I feel. This is just plain elegant if you ask me. The way you've portrayed the emotions of the lady in question and compared it to something like an eraser. Something that has so much of worth but people never realize how priceless it is and how it'd be so difficult to be without it.
 
 
ALL I CAN SAY IS I'M PROUDD! MORE PROUD THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN! I've read your work before and they were really good but this bit just shows how mature your writing is. And how capable you are. This was gorgeously written.
And I know my comment's not long enough but deal with it kutti. Get that?


Edited by anomaly. - 17 June 2014 at 12:09pm

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Flame.Of.Rose

--Akshu--

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--Akshu--

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Posted: 14 June 2014 at 10:49pm | IP Logged
M proud of you for this :*
The concept was of course superb <3
Pencil and eraser I loved loved loved the way you portrayed it
It was wow
Pencil doing mistakes eraser erasing it as it's erasers duty
She wasn't not happy but she was being faithful
And he kept laughing doing mistakes and just said she was adorable
The last part was amazing
He threw her away she was of no use now
What a concept Clap Clap
M so proud of my Beti :*
Keep bringing more <3

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Flame.Of.Rose

..Maitree..

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..Maitree..

Joined: 16 March 2009

Posts: 6464

Posted: 15 June 2014 at 12:09am | IP Logged
I really...Really don't know where to start from. The first thing that came to my mind when I finished reading was..Really!? She is JUST fourteen years old? God I feel so Little in front of this GENIUS! (Hey, I'm totally serious here.) This is Beyond Words. Beyond Imaginations. Every line, every word is like...Piercing their way RIGHT into your heart. I mean...Wow. (I hate how you've limited my word usage here, I have to HUNT for words to pen down a comment.)

 Like an eraser, who had no identity of his own, no use when alone, she was turning into his shadow.

^This. So true, So Symbolic and So brilliantly penned. Seriously Ananya, You think before you write something because Its getting me nearer to torturing you for writing classes. Beautiful. OH WORDS, Come to me will you! 'No use when alone' - BRILLIANT! So Effective.

The Second Para Does it. The Contrast is wonderfully brought out, Although personally I would have loved if there was a Tad bit positive quality about the Pencil too. (But again, it doesn't really make sense here *scratches head*...Pardon me, Sorry.) So back to the para, it does wonderfully bring out the situation the Eraser is in. She tries, but she is bound. Bound to him although he is cruel, bound to him because without him she has no existence. Genius...Sheer Genius thinking.

At times, she failed. In those times, as a pencil would scribble on an eraser, he marked her; abused her, but she, being as faithful as ever, still erased his mistakes, without ever leaving a mark. The marks he left on her had no impact when she erased his mistakes.

^There. I highlighted the regions that Hit Home. There is a constant comparison between the mark she removed and the marks he put on her. GET ME WORDS WILL YOU! I am getting tired of writing Brilliant And Genius and Wonderful, knowing that its leaving somethings unsaid :\ This is...I don't know, Ananya...Wow. Again. Loss of word power! I'm So proud to be YOUR friend :')

As she rubbed on and on, her patience and her love decreased, just like the size of the metaphorical eraser that she considered herself to be.

^ This is my FAVOURITE bit in the whole OS. Symbolically, it is utter sheer Brilliance in words. Truth delivered in a sentence. I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU. 'Her patience and love decreased' - this bit just again makes its way to Deep down in your heart <3 Am I only one overreacting, or this is utterly Heartbreaking? 

One day, the pencil spoiled it. She erased someone else's deeds as well and his friend, the fellow pencil made a hole in her conscience. 

^ Okay, might as well killed me. This whole oneshot in its very individual existence is So Beautiful and so Poignant, it manages to flow into your heart EVERY SINGLE TIME. I loved how you used these sentences, they flow naturally yet tell you how painful this story is. 'A hole in her conscience.'- Yes, well. That hurt. And there are tears.

The next bit was So...True. Getting smaller, becoming rebellious and losing patience. So...Unbeliveable, I was gaping at the screen to ask myself again. IS SHE ONLY FOURTEEEN? My God...What will happen when you grow up to my age, or become 25 or something? Oh I know. Maybe I'll see you on the best-sellers list <3

And so, the eraser was thrown away, the hole in her heart, never mended.
^ No NO words to describe this line. Hit Home again. I am dead.
Ananya, My baby darling sister, I am SO Proud :') This has to be one of the Finest concepts I have ever read ANYWHERE, One of the most Beautiful flowing little paras anyone of THIS age has written. 

THIS is your BEST WORK ever.
Its a sign of a Genius in process. I will never ever fail to tell you how Unbelievably Talented you are, my girl. You make me fall in love with your writing every single time I read. 

I'm Honoured to be your friend. My heart swells in pride :')
I Love you <3
Love,
Maitree. 


Edited by ..Maitree.. - 15 June 2014 at 12:07am

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anomaly.Flame.Of.RoseARandKJFan

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Posted: 15 June 2014 at 3:50am | IP Logged
Mine.

d3_rox

Goldie

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Joined: 16 February 2012

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Posted: 15 June 2014 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
Superb OS bhanji...
U potrayed beautiful emotions...
The pencil wuld always do mistake n no matter wht the eraser wuld erase it...
But once the eraser becomes smaller the pencil threw it away...
Amazing...
Loved it!!:)

-Tehmi Maasi!!;)

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Flame.Of.Rose

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