Are women invariably forgiving??

In most of the desi telenovelas,the female protagonist is always portrayed as forgiving..... All that the husbands/lovers are required to do is shed 2 buckets of tears,and plead..and the woman forgives..and the audience too want the hero to be forgiven.....the only reason being"they are still in love" 😛

Ekta makes some of her heroes behave in the most ruthless way with their wives..suspeting their loyalty and all...or cheating on the wife with another woman..throwing the woman out of home,and then plead her to return....Maligning the wife etc..but yet,women invariably are made to forgive😕

Now,this topic is not about the ekta soaps,its about the forgiving nature of women.......

My question is.....Are women in reality too,as forgiving as the ones ones we see on celluloid and tube....How easy is it to forgive,especially when the spouse is accused of infidelity(albeit the soaps are just an exaggeration).....or for that matter,do women always forgive men who have inflicted hurt on them or have been egregiously wrong??.....Do women find it easier to forgive??Are women  emotionally weaker than men are🤔

Is the adage "All's fair in love and war" applicable to practical life....🤔

your views😊

Edited by Buffie - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: BUFFIE

In most of the desi telenovelas,the female protagonist is always portrayed as forgiving..... All that the husbands/lovers are required to do is shed 2 buckets of tears,and plead..and the woman forgives..and the audience too want the hero to be forgiven.....the only reason being"they are still in love" Ekta makes some of her heroes behave in the most ruthless way with their wives..suspeting their loyalty and all...or cheating on the wife with another woman..throwing the woman out of home,and then plead her to return....Maligning the wife etc..but yet,women invariably are made to forgive Now,this topic is not about the ekta soaps,its about the forgiving nature of women.......

Well I think in serials the reason is nothing but writhing the hearts of women viewers who seek solace somewhere in protagonists ordeals for their own inability to address the real life issues. K-ekta's (pun intended) portrayal of women is the worst & makes crude mockery of sensibilities. 

Originally posted by: BUFFIE

My question is.....Are women in reality too,as forgiving as the ones ones we see on celluloid and tube....How easy is it to forgive, especially when the spouse is accused of infidelity(albeit the soaps are just an exaggeration).....or for that matter, do women always forgive men who have inflicted hurt on them or have been egregiously wrong?? Do women find it easier to forgive?? Are women emotionally weaker than men are Is the adage "All's fair in love and war" applicable to practical life.... your views

 Of course not, no woman is so forgiving. A woman does feel the grudge but may not be able to express it or is not in a position to do so. It can never be easy to forgive someone who has hurt your self-esteem. Forgiving needs great strength and willingness.

In Indian context most woman compromise primarily because they are financially dependent and their parents are unwelcoming of their return after marriage. So they are rendered shelter less both money and emotion wise. It fundamentally becomes a case of survival for her. Further if children are involved then for their 'sake' she forgives on their pretext , although the constant bickering can take their toll.

 Another reason is social conditioning, which I believe plays an imp role irrespective of your country. Women are taught that they have to forgive simply because they are borne this way. Instead of liberating themselves most women continue to live cataclysmic lives fearing social disapproval of their conduct.

I believe that education can help as it not only empowers but also awakens and lends credence to desire of a respectable life.

Originally posted by: BUFFIE

Are women emotionally weaker than men?

 That cannot be said as to who is stronger or weaker emotionally. Evidence confirms gender differences in emotional reactions & ability to read others.

Women

• show greater emotional expression
• Display more frequent expressions of positive & negative emotions, except anger
• Report more comfort in expressing emotions
• Are better at reading nonverbal cues
• More likely to express empathy/sensitivity

Just my views😃 .

BTW  more profound thoughts are reqd to see your sudden change of location to Iraq than the gravity of the topic😆 J/K😉

[quote=realitybites]BTW more profound thoughts are reqd to see your sudden change of location to Iraq than the gravity of the topic [/Quote]

well i guess it was first india, then tajikistan and now Iraq.... Buffie.. have u changed ur profession to a war journalist???😕😆😉

and abt women... NO they are neither emotionally weak that they turn out to tears and forgive when their "Cheating husbands" come up like a puppy🤢 🤢 a woman can SHOOT a cheating husband and .. i think she should 😈 yup.. im talking brutal.. but why to act like a simple forgiving machine and keep on accepting the yuccky torture😡... why women.. why not men!!! they can't follow a straight path and be loyal to their wife.. fine.. then go ahead and face the bullet!!!!😡

second chances only depend on certain situations... not in EVERY situation..

PS.. Buffie.. have u got the latest mind-reaing machine which works via internet too?? How u knew that after watching "The Oprah show" im gonna start the same topic???😕😉

Interesting topic.

If we approach this rom the nurture differences-
It could be that they are conditioned to be more forgiving. If you would condition a male child the same way since he was a child he would end up the same way.

If its a nature thing maybe this theory then-

Physicality- I do believe women are not as strong as men are but they can endure chronic pain better. If we take this theory and assume emotionally too they are poor with acute pain but good with chronic pain. They should have better endurance. Maybe this is what allows them the forgiveness.

But anyone who forgives -dil se- is not emotionally weaker, but emotionally stronger. To forgive and move one really saves time, stress and life overall becomes easier.

Originally posted by: Rindam

But anyone who forgives -dil se- is not emotionally weaker, but emotionally stronger. To forgive and move one really saves time, stress and life overall becomes easier.

I agree with Anu here. Now about your question are women more forgiving than men? like abhijit said forgiving, but not forgetting. But I think we cannot generalize all the time. There are men who are forgiving but not forgetting either....how do I know? 😉

Blame Ekta's script writers. 😆

Dawn, Welcome to DM! I hope you enjoy discussion with us.

I think forgiving someone shows emotional maturity, and a sense of security in one's self and others. (although too much forgiving is not a good thing either). People who cannot forgive mistakes usually have two reasons to do so:

1. Revenge, someone has wronged them and they will not be able to forgive them until their side has been done justice to

2. They are scared, that if by forgiving that person/group they are inviting them to step over them.


I believe that women are easily forgiving of others, but they subconciously do hold grudges which may escalate into something bigger than it needs to be. Its like we always need leverage over someone, and a need to make others feel inferior by pointing out their mistakes. We will forgive, but we will never forget.

Buffie!!!
Television is a fictious world!!! I'm not that forgiving!!! Forgiving is really very good quality one should possess.But its highly impractical.

cheers,
mythili

Even though Kekta's serials are so far removed from reality that using them to discuss social structure and stereotypes seems a little hard to conceive. however, I think Buffie your point is quite interesting.

I think we tend to think of women as more forgiving as women tend to worl to words keeps the social infrastructure of family and society together. If you look at families it is usually the woman ofthe house that handles dealing with other friends and famaily and therefore she may be more bent to forgiving to keeps smooth sailing going.

In addition, we should not forget that even today in most Indian marriage the woman is no the person with the primary position of power either in terms of leadership or finance. Therefore, she is force to forgive and put up with the males behoaviour becuase of her social conditioning or finacial dependncy.

I also think women by nature are more emotionally stronger than men and this makes them able to forgive and move on and as many have said not necessarily forget. You know what they say, that which does not break you makes you stronger.