Posted:
9 years ago
Karna can guess where is this conversation leading , he felt really embarrassed and wanted to leave but another part of him wanted to continue the conversation letting free all the secret emotions of his heart. Be it his rival , his enemy but in the arms of Himalaya he found an innocent , playful, inquisitive child in Arjun who evoked affections in heart not hatred or jealousy or anger.
Arjun's eternal explorer self had been awaken again in the arms of nature being away from Aryabart's tention filled situation, he have seen a very responsible side of Karna, so he by heart wanted to explore karna in new way finding the root cause of the bitterness in him.
"Arjun do you have any idea what are you talking about? or have you lost your mind?" Karna really felt awkward
"yes i am aware what i am talking and that too with full sense, can you deny you still love her?" Arjun without blinking kept his eyes into Karna's
"I knew in high altitude people's brain stop working and madness evokes, i think that happened quite soon with you" karna tried to get up
but Arjun held his hand
"don't change the topic and don't run away you can't ignore the truth" Arjun said calmly
"what truth ?" Karna sits back
"the truth i have seen that day , you were confident you will win her, your eyes were filled in love and admiration for her unlike lusts and desires in others eyes, you had all possibilities to make her own, but she refused you which was completely unexpected for you, you were hurt beyond limit you had not been in rangabhumi too when you were stopped from participating , i have seen how much heartbroken you were.
"as if you care" Karna smirked sadly
"no i didn't until i had to face the shock of sharing her, i had to give consent because mother and elder brother's word is like eternal truth to me and unexpectedly she too didn't protest that day i realized if sharing can cause that much pain what the refusal could cause" Arjun sighed
"no you will never realize what was my situation became that day , in the big sayamvar hall i was standing keeping my head down , the kings who feared my bow where smiling at my insult , after being king of Anga i thought now none can reject me for my caste, but that happened , all my honour was shattered and you five brothers in guise of brahmins were enjoying my state, I looked at the sun, silently wishing to burn me but he too covered his face behind cloud, even my god couldn't bear my pain but none of you had any feelings , except Duryodhan none supported me" Karna paused , the memory of that dreaded Sayamvar made his heart heavy
"Angraj but you always supported Kauravas to insult us, were behind the conspiracy of burning us alive in Lakshagriha, we couldn't feel bad for you" Arjun tried to support his cause weakly , unknowingly he was being sympathetic to his rival
"you will never know what i went through during the formation of Lakshagriha but if you are going back to time let me take you a bit further , remember Rangabhumi , what was my fault that day? i wanted just recognition of my ability , i wanted to compete with you , in gurukul of dronacharya i went before you all reached , we had a healthy competition while learning basic archery but then he didn't agree to teach me advanced skill and favored you even though you were younger so i had to leave, i was forced to hide my identity to Lord Parshurama only to follow my dream and as a result got curse that too for tolerating bite of scorpion so that Gurudev 's sleep doesn't get interrupted , a mistake of killing cow thinking of a deer and i got curse almost same as King Dashrath who caused death of three Brahmins, really my mistake was that big as him? all these just because i wanted to be recognized as warrior , a skilled archer? i didn't want Ekalavya's fate that was my fault? and when i returned with the burdens of curses what did i want? to get recognition of my skill that's it , dronacharya tagged you as greatest archer of world without a proof , so i challenged as a warrior , but my challenge became a great crime in your eyes , you pleaded to kill me like seriously? killing me for questioning on your being greatest? Bheem insulted me , Dharmraj kept mum , that day only Duryodhan stood by me, he didn't think of caste when befriending me , he considered me equal to him , tell me what can't i do for such a friend?why i won't hate you all who always insulted me for my caste? how can i oppose my friend's conspiracy ? do you have any answer?"
Asked karna desperately as if he is giving justifications to himself not Arjun and wanting answer from himself only and that was not convincing enough to him too
"But i didn't meant it , i didn't want to kill you really, it was a hit of the moment statement, you were insulting my archery skill , it seemed from your words that i don't deserve to be called as archer , i have no skill i did no hard work to acquire my knowledge, its only Dronacharya's favoritism made me best , you don't know what archery means to me , my passion , my existence , how much patience, dedication of years needed to get those knowledges and you insulted that?not only that you brought Ekalavya's incident which was very sensitive issue to me , you made me responsible for his misery , my heart knew I only wanted to be better than him i didn't want his thumbs to be cut , i didn't want his dream to be perished i wanted him not to go ahead from me that's it. But i never could ignore the fact it was me for whom Dronacharya gave such order to him, i had a guilt fillings for that always, and that day you touched my weak point that enraged me, which warrior won't be angry if anyone defames him , so i was , in anger i told i will kill you but it was never a oath it was a heated statement only"
Arjun justified himself to himself not only to Karna
" words are like arrows, can't be taken back once releases, your words made me standing against you, thinking of killing you, if only that day you could accept my challenge with a open heart" sighs Karna
"i actually accepted the challenge , but i had no say over ultimate decision over Dronacharya and Kripacharya, i never thought of your caste when thinking you as my rival but i had no right to stop brother Bheem the way i couldn't stop many incidents of my life like burning of Nishada woman and her sons in Lakshagriha, which although was done without my our knowledge that still haunts me' said arjun weakly , that didn't sound much convenient to himself.
"let's leave the topic what had been done is done" says Karna with a sad tone
"okay , so you didn't answer do you still love her?" Arjun again went to the beginning..
Edited by RoseFairy - 9 years ago