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Daughters: A Boon Or A Bane!!! (Page 3)

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scarletteblue

IF-Sizzlerz

scarletteblue

Joined: 19 June 2006

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Posted: 13 September 2006 at 3:01pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by kisnakiradha

wow great discussion

it was funny though, replies from "Princess" and "indianhomey1992" were so similar that i had to chek who was writing many times! LOL

LOLsrry i didn't mean 2 do dat!Embarrassed...just came out like dat!....i hadn't even read princesses' post soEmbarrassed 

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xyzee

Goldie

xyzee

Joined: 15 March 2005

Posts: 1318

Posted: 13 September 2006 at 3:13pm | IP Logged
Things are changing albeit slowly. Many people do still consider sons to be superior but I do see a change in that attitude.. As for homemakers, etc. one would be surprised to see that majority of women in the US are homemakers and in fact I see more women in high positions in India than I do in the US! But socially - a lot of women were considered inferior, a burden and all the usual BS. That was also becuase of the dowry problems. I don't consider daughters a burden at all - quite the opposite, I have a daughter and am very very happy about that - I believe that daughters have the very same responsibility towards their parents after marriage that a guy has and so on and so forth. I also don't believe in a girl being 'pariah' and it infuriates me that I still see so many serials depicting that nonsense! But any change does take time and I am happy to see some changes. I was delighted to hear from one of my friends in Bangalore (who adopted a girl child) that the demand or waiting list for girl children is 6 months while for a boy child it is 3 weeks!! Which leads me to believe that this bias exists more in certain parts of India and also depends on upbringing/education, etc.

adorablenabs

Senior Member

adorablenabs

Joined: 18 April 2006

Posts: 845

Posted: 13 September 2006 at 6:18pm | IP Logged
Hi.. very good topic...
These days as the times are changes so does one's views... These days women are considered inferior to men but unfortunately have to give in to alot of sacrifices and so on because they are women... one thing i hate the most is when i hear people saying that a girl has to do all the housework in the house not study and earn money as that is a mans job and the most common one i hear alot is that a guy can do anything a girl can... HELLO!! Sorry to say u can't... u can't look after all the members of your family, u can't give birth and most of all when u get married, unlike women u can't adapt to having all those relationships like devars and bhabhis and so on as well as women do... and it is kind of sad that many girls/women especially in india die mostly cause of dowry and all because they havent the courage and srength to stand up to soceitys unruly ways... ONE QUESTION TO ALL OUT THERE IF U WANT TO KILL GIRLS BECAUSE THEY ARE A CURSE THEN HOW DID YOU COME INTO THE EARTH AND IF U KILL ALL THE GIRLS/WOMEN WERE WILL ALL THOSE PRECIOUS BOYS COME FROM???


No offense to anyone please... i am a hardcore feminist and had say what was on my minded.. if i offended any one than i am sorry..

Lovely123

Groupbie

Lovely123

Joined: 12 September 2006

Posts: 184

Posted: 13 September 2006 at 7:50pm | IP Logged
hi
nice topic,

its is very true.

as the time is changing people views aer also changing.

but for me its very true that girls are ghar ke lakshami.

i totally agree with you.

filmi_chick99

IF-Dazzler

filmi_chick99

Joined: 19 June 2006

Posts: 4748

Posted: 13 September 2006 at 9:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sree

Friends


 There are people who say that "Betiyaan Ghar Ki Lakshmi Hoti hai". Betiyon Se Ghar banta hai!!.

 At the same time, there are another set of people who see Daughters as a curse rather than a boon... Times have changed, we have moved into a new era, where we have achieved and developed in a long way... But one of the thing that remains the same or close to truth, is the way Daughters are looked down upon in the Society... Women are always considered to be inferior to men. The girl child is considered to be a burden. The girl child is always looked down upon, while the son of the house is considered to be the Treasure ....

   Now, can we go into a discussion mode and reason out , give our thoughts on whether this discrimination exists even today...

  •   Are women still considered inferior to men?

Yes. It's a very sad thing..but it is. And not only in India or any other undeveloped countries, but also in developed countries like the US, etc. I have seen it happen to me, because I have a brother. Outside of my family, it was always my brother who got special treatment...He always got whatever he wanted...Not so with me.  

  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

I think it's because of the pressure you put upon a girl. If a boy is considered breadwinner and is pressurized/threatened by her family, then the smart thing to do would be to abort the baby. Dowry deaths also happen like that.

  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??

I think this is because the boy is the one who is the "breadwinner". He's bringing the money home so therefore he thinks about control. It goes in a saying "Might makes right." Just my views, i hope i haven't offended anyone Embarrassed 

 

 

queen-bee

Goldie

queen-bee

Joined: 07 March 2005

Posts: 2443

Posted: 14 September 2006 at 2:07am | IP Logged
Sree nice topic. all of you are doing a wonderful job of answering the qs.

In India still a large numbers of women are marginalized and deprived of even the most basic education. Historically, there was the practice of sati, now long abolished where wives immolated themselves on their husbands' funeral pyres, as if life without one's husband was worth nothing at all. Arranged marriages, dowry, dowry deaths and female infanticide are all practices that continue to this day....But in traditional households, or within the less literate or poorer families, women often have little social freedom. And even in the quotidian aspects of life, deference to men is the norm for example, it is a common practice for women from these families (which despite the economic surges of the last fifteen years make up a large percentage of Indian households) to wait for their husbands to eat before they let themselves begin their meal. And I have often seen couples walking down the street in India, wife trailing several feet behind her husband, as if not his equal.

But you know what I sit here in SFO and wonder why America is still 'not ready' for a woman President as yet and this, now, in the twenty-first century. The rest of South Asia has had its share of female leaders as well - from Bandaranaike and Kumaratunga to Benazir Bhutto to Khaleda Zia. Even Sonia Gandhi has been taken into the fold; she led the Congress Party of India to victory in the 2004 elections. There is, of course, the flip side of the coin (and with South Asia there is always that flip side) that all these South Asian female leaders have been relatives of male leaders before them (but then one jokingly thinks that one could say that about George W. Bush as well!). Despite this, despite the accident of origin these women are powerful symbols to both women and men: to women that the heights are reachable, and to men that for women to hold power is natural.

Within my family, women were generally empowered (and I mean empowered in the sense of Maslow's use of the term 'self-actualization' that is being the most that one can be, using all one's talents and capacities to their fullest potential, which is then more than being mother and wife). My great-grandmother was one of India's first women doctors going to medical school after her children were born. She established a nursing home. My grandmother had been a working mother, and so had my own mother, both teachers. My aunts were chemistry professors, doctors and IAS officers.

So with a female Prime Minister and the positive female paradigms within my own family, there was never any question about anything being beyond my reach. Taking control of my life, making decisions, expressing opinions were natural. These were not issues I ever wondered about, or questioned. Growing up, the concept of a 'glass ceiling' for women was not within my vocabulary.

Some time ago, a most interesting thing happened to me on a cab ride to downown SFO from the airport. I give the Puerto Rican taxi driver detailed instructions regarding turns so that he would then be able to drop me off on the west side of Fisherman's wharf. I noticed as we approached that he did not turn where I had asked him to, leaving me instead on the wrong side of the Fisherman's wharf. When I asked him why he had not done as I had asked, he turned to me and said, "I don't take orders from women. And the women from your country are really good at giving orders!"

There is this image of urban, educated Indian women as being strong, proud and powerful. How to account for the fact that Indian women take to power so naturally? And to me, this is the important difference that South Asian women leaders are generally accepted with grace. We are all avatar of Ma Durga/ Kali (watch out guys!)

Now in the twenty-first century in all our different chosen professions from the arts and sciences to business and politics...... I suggest that we take the best from our history fabulous role models, female Prime Ministers, goddesses and use them as a platform from which we help rewrite the story at home and abroad.

The day the US is ready for a female President will be as wonderful as the day when an Indian village woman says to her husband that she is not waiting for him to finish eating before she helps herself, or walks down the street at his side, proud and full of grace!

Sorry Sree I kind of digressed fr your qs ans & wrote a essayOuch

Edited by mink - 14 September 2006 at 2:15am

kisnakiradha

Senior Member

kisnakiradha

Joined: 05 July 2006

Posts: 749

Posted: 14 September 2006 at 3:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by indianhomey1992

Originally posted by kisnakiradha

wow great discussion

it was funny though, replies from "Princess" and "indianhomey1992" were so similar that i had to chek who was writing many times! LOL

LOLsrry i didn't mean 2 do dat!Embarrassed...just came out like dat!....i hadn't even read princesses' post soEmbarrassed 

LoL yeh, thats why it was so scary! LOLLOL you guys must be connected some way or another! hehehehe

btw both ur points made a lot of sense! Clap

rshahani

Newbie

rshahani

Joined: 03 March 2006

Posts: 7

Posted: 14 September 2006 at 9:30am | IP Logged
there soughtint be any diff most girl r more loyal to family son r sons till they marry but daughters always help til thy live but only fathers name carry on because of sons that is diff only

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