Debate Mansion

   

Daughters: A Boon Or A Bane!!! (Page 2)

Post Reply New Post

Page 2 of 5

Page 1
Page   of 5
Page 3 Page 5

Princess

IF-Veteran Member

Princess

Joined: 13 August 2004

Posts: 5782

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
  • Are women still considered inferior to men?

In India, I would say yes. Girls/Females/Women are considered to be a burden and boy/male/men are looked upon as the "breed-winner" or heir for parents wealth.

However, in countries like Canada, this kind of treatment toward females is a lot less compare to India. It still does exsist even in a modern country like Canada, which is really sad to see.

 

  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

First of all, I don't get the reason for dowry. I mean, come on people, your giving your girl to someone else, isn't that enough? Why dowry? What does the girl's family get in return? Nothing. Why is money given so much importance? Who made this dowry rule anyway? If one can make these kind of rules, then others can also break them. But no one is coming forward.

My parents are against dowry. I have 3 elder sisters. Two are already married and happy. They were married off without dowry. My 3rd sister is getting married in April, 2007 and again, she will not be given any dowry.

You see, if groom's family is asking for dowry, it can only mean one thing. They aren't intersted in your daughter, but the dowry she will bring with her. Do you think anyone could be happy to be a daughter-in-law for such a greedy family?

Many brides are being killed off by their in-laws, if the bride's parents do not meet their demands to more dowry after the wedding has taken place.

Other brides kill themselves as they feel burden on their family or are too tired from the treatment they get from their in-laws.

Also, once a girl is married, she can not come back to her parents house. Society talks rude of them and always blame the girl. Therefore, girls aren't really left with any other option, but to kill themselves.

I think abortions are also very much related to the dowry problem. People would think that they will have to give dowry for the girl, so let's just kill her. Or that she's no use to us, she can't be the breed-winner, so why bother? and they kill them off.

I'll give another example here. Before I was born, my parents already had 3 daughters. During the pregency, the doctor told my parents, that it's going to be another baby girl, but that's not all. She is also going to be disable in one way or another. She might be visually impared, she might not walk or she might be mute.

The doctor offered an abortion. However, my parents refused saying "So what if it's a baby girl or she's going to be disable? She's still going to be our child." Then my mom & dad decided they will open a bank account for me the day I'm born and will keep putting money into that account until I'm 18. And by then, there would be enough money for me to get a career for myself and have a life.

See, if my parents could give me birth knowing the truth, why can't other parents give birth to girls?

  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?

The girls is always looked down on again because of the stereo types made my the society. Such as: Burden, Dowry, No use. Whereas the guy is looked upon as: Breed-winner, heir, or take care of the parents in their old age.

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "Daughters: A Boon Or A Bane!!! (Page 2)" in Debate Mansion forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

scarletteblue

IF-Sizzlerz

scarletteblue

Joined: 19 June 2006

Posts: 14570

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
  • Are women still considered inferior to men?

In India, I would say yes. Females are considered to be a burden and males are looked upon as the heir for parents wealth....which btw i don get...i mean the daughter sud b da sme az da son! However, in country like USA, dis kind of treatment is rarely found...they treat all their children the sme way...which i think is the right way 2 go. i mean males an females sud be EQUAL!!

 

  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

i really don'y get the reason for dowry yaar!...i mean itz not like they are doing u a favor by marrin ur daughter yaar!.....an itz not like if u don give dowry ur doughter won't be happy...if she iz marrin a person that loves her...it sudn't matter about dowry!

i think if da groomz parentz are askin for downry....they r interested more in that than in ur daughter...so i really don get the whole "dowry" thing. 

Many brides are being killed off by their in-laws, if the bride's parents do not meet their demands to more dowry after the wedding has taken place.

i think dat the girlz who kill themselves thinkin they r a burden 2 da families is really sad...i mean loosin ur daughter for something dat stupi?!....  an in an indian culture...a woman marriez an she can't come bac 2 her parentz...bad in the society!...

i have also heard dat some parentz don wanna give birth 2 a girl becoz of all da cost of the weddin an wat not....which i think iz also really stupid!!!

  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?

The girls is always looked down on again because of the stereo types made my the society. Such as: Burden, Dowry...wen a guyz is looked az the heir of all da property an takin care of parntz....but if u ask some parentz they wud say their daughterz took kare of them....not their sonz!

dis iz just ma opinio...don tke it personallyEmbarrassed

thankzz, nikkiSmile

copperboom

Senior Member

copperboom

Joined: 01 May 2006

Posts: 566

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
Are women still considered inferior to men?

In India yes, not so much in the US where I live. I think India needs another feminist revolution.

Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

It's sad and completely uncalled for. Some women feel shameful when their parents are unable to give dowry, hence suicide. It's an absurd practice and people need to get real, educated, and learn to analyze all the problems that crop up from dowry. Women who think they are a burden and commit suicide are wrong. Grow a back bone for god's sake. Go work and support your family. This is the 21st century and its not like women in India don't work. I am engaged and I have already made it clear to my fiance and in-laws they are not getting a penny from my parents. They were very supportive.

Feticide is heinous and a crime. A murder is bad as it is but murdering a defenseless child?! Only truly uneducated and jaheel people can do this. If you don't want a girl put her up for adoption because someone else may want her. It's common sense and these people obviously don't have any.

Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?

Because Indian society is sexist for the most part. Plain and simple. This way of thinking has been passed down from generation to generation and it is very sad that society has failed to evolve and change their way of thinking.

I realize I was blunt with my answers so no offense to anyone.

giaa

Senior Member

giaa

Joined: 01 November 2004

Posts: 704

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
Very Interesting topic...
Are Women still considered inferior to men?

Well I'm from Pakistan and my hubby is Indian but we live in the US. In both of our home towns this issue is quite prevalant....it's sad as there are those families that want to move with the times and give their girls the same liberties as their sons have enjoyed but overall the society pressurizes them to the point where they have to revert to society norms. Here in the US the same situation occurs in towns with tight knit desi communities...but as parents we are planning to raise our daughter with the same rules as our son.

Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

The simple answer to this according to me is lack of educaion and fear of a new reality. When one does not know any better one travels down the same beaten path regardless of its consequence. Only education can change an antiquated belief system.

Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?

Again Education but also the courage to follow through on what you know is right ...many of us know that such views are ridiculous but yet do we try to change the views around us...if all of us can educate 1 person (and I don't mean book smarts) ...I mean pass on the wisdom in thinking ...what is it that makes a man child a torch carrier ???? Just coz someone started the fad yonks ago? there is no logical reason except for carring on a name ...so tomorrow if my daughter grows up and decides
not to take on her husbands name after marriage...and my son for some reason decides to drop his last name ....does that not make my daughter the elusive "torch bearer"...

sorry you caught me on my feminist best ....but think about it guys...we can all be part of this change...in how we raise our kids and talk to members in our society.

Gia

Diva

Goldie

Diva

Joined: 23 August 2004

Posts: 1688

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
Excellent discussion Sree di Clap

We unfortunately still live in a male dominated society!  Famlies in India want sons so that their son can take care of them in their old age.  But what happens when that same son throws them out of the house or disrespects them?  There is a saying that goes "A daughter is a daughter for her whole life.  A son is a son until he gets a wife!"
  •   Are women still considered inferior to men?

100%.  Whether its India or America, inequality still presists.  For all those who say that it is only in India that women are treated unequally, then lets look at a few facts.  Firstly, women in the US earn 75 cents for every dollar that a man earns.  Secondly I believe there are anywhere from 4-9 female CEOs in the Fortune 500 Companies (The number fluctuates but never gets into double digits).  Now what does that tell us about our society?  Its not only a traditional country like India where women aren't treated equally but developed and industralized nations like the US still have not reached that equality.  In fact in America, children are told in schools that the dominant culture here is that of the White Male (this means better jobs, more power, etc etc) - and then we are told that America is a democratic country where everyone recieves equality.  Interesting contradictions, isn't it?   

  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

 Old customs like dowry, uneducated public (this is more so in the villages) and the hunger for money can all be seen as probable reasons.   In the end, greed can take over anything and everything and so dowry deaths just stem from this green monster. 

  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??

Sadly as I said before parents still believe that their son will take care of them in old age.   They think that a daughter marries and leaves the house, while the son stays with them.  But times have changed.  Not many children actually in reality take care of their parents in old age and even if they do, its with alot of humiliation that parents have to face.  However unfortunately, times have changed but our old customs and thoughts remain the same. (These are some general statements I have made.  Yes there are famlies where sons take very good care of their parents but unfortunately its not the case everywhere).

Lineage and the carrying of the last name is also another reason why famlies want sons.  However, times have changed and today when a girl marries - she does not always change her last name to that of her husband's.  Many women do choose to keep their own last names and there is nothing wrong in that - is there?  Why should a girl change her whole identity - a name is one's identity at the end of the day!  So even lineage does not fully justify the reason for wanting a boy over a girl.  

Lastly, on a more positive note perhaphs looking at history one can say that there has been progress in the status of females.  However, there is still time in reaching that pedastal of complete equality and whether that day will ever come - well that's still to be seen!

Dolly



Edited by Diva - 12 September 2006 at 2:55pm

umi82990

IF-Sizzlerz

umi82990

Joined: 27 January 2005

Posts: 18423

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 4:39pm | IP Logged

Are women still considered inferior to men? well in our indian society, women are still considered inferior to men. there is no doubt in that. men are still prefered for jobs over women. even in my classes, the teachers call on boys before girls even though they are girls!!!

Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today?? the pressure is too much on women/girls to see their parents find money for dowry deaths. it's crazy how the groom's family asks for soo much money without thinking where the girl will get it from

Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family?? i think that this is totally wrong. the girl is the torch bearer of the family. if there were no girls, then there wouldn't be anymore children/offsprings. it's the woman who bears the baby for nine months and who deals with a whole lot and yet it's the men who get all the credit for carrying on the familyAngry

-i don't wanna say more cuz i'm getting carried away and i don't wanna say anything rude or out of contextEmbarrassed

Ms. Bholi Bhali

IF-Sizzlerz

Ms. Bholi Bhali

-

Joined: 10 November 2004

Posts: 10515

Posted: 13 September 2006 at 1:46am | IP Logged

Great topic!!!! Yes, betiyan ghar ki lakshmi hoti hai, unhi ki kismat saye ghar main roshni hoti hai. They are the flowers the fragrance and the beauty of the home.

  •   Are women still considered inferior to men?

Well it really depends on each family system. The family I belong to gives way more importance to girls then boys. My cousins and I are very much spoiled in every way. And not once in 21 years of my life, I was considered as a burden to them. Education wise too, we are allowed to study anywhere, and as much as we want. As parents they do worry about the marriages but it is parallel to the worry they have for the sons. We are never told that we should learn this and that as we have to get married. According to my mom, all these things can be learned as time goes. Education is must. However, all my cousins got married after their education was finished; now they are complete housewives.  

 

Women are not at all inferior to men, but instead men are inferior to women in many angles. Men need women's support more then a women needing a moral support of men. But in all other cases they are equal. They walk together and balance the families. If any one of them is not present, the whole family is disturbed and the balance is out. So both should be there, and if any man thinks that he is superior, tell him to take care of the home for a week. He will know himself.

 

  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

 

Dowry in Islam is a gift parents of the bride give, so she can start the new home. It is up to them, how much they want to give. They can give a set of two plates and spoons too. And if parents can't afford to give then there is no pressure on them. People who force parents of bride to give dowry are committing direct sin.

 

Dowry keh saman saye ghar nahian bantye, homes are made with the kismat of the bride and the love and understanding of the couple. It is tragic that all this is happening. Many girls grow old and miss their marriage age, just because their parents can't afford to give trucks and trucks of dowry, which is demanded by the groom's family.

 

We are in 21st century and there should be a rule for people who demand dowry. There should a limit of what can be asked for dowry. If its that important. Otherwise, I don't think anyone needs dowry. Everyone has plates, beds, and other stuff at home.

 

As for feticide, it's a sin, a crime, a murder!!! People who wish for son and commit such crimes, they don't get pleasures of that son. They might be cruel, but God is not cruel.

 

  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??

 

 In reply to the first what I told about my family is something I have noticed in my country, in my life time I have not come across any family which felt bad about the birth of a girl. Instead I have seen families having double pleasures of having a daughter. Families, who don't have daughters in home, are very "Viran" Empty. Plus there is no guarantee that a son will grow up and be a bread maker of the family.

 

Many who wish too much for a son, and feel horrible and bas kismat on the birth of a daughters, their sons go on wrong path or not obedient of their parents, and finally separate their paths from their parents who wanted them so badly.

 

The child is God's gift, and it should be cared and nurtured with love and affection. Doesn't matter if that child is a female or a male, coz God has not made any one for no reason. Girls are important as much as boys are important. People, who are expecting, should pray that who ever is coming to the world is a good human being. And he/she will automatically give a good name to the family.

 

and ya if u see the stats, there are more women in the professional world then the men. so more are actually completing their education and going forward then men.



Edited by Ms. Bholi Bhali - 13 September 2006 at 1:57am

kisnakiradha

Senior Member

kisnakiradha

Joined: 05 July 2006

Posts: 749

Posted: 13 September 2006 at 4:12am | IP Logged
wow great discussion

it was funny though, replies from "Princess" and "indianhomey1992" were so similar that i had to chek who was writing many times! LOL

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
selling daughters

2 3 4

sweetsang 26 1880 13 July 2007 at 10:26am
By season915
Television - a BANE or BOON? velun 2 5530 29 December 2006 at 12:33am
By Lovers Ka Love
Internet-A boon or bane d_s_g_ 5 8248 14 September 2006 at 8:31am
By lighthouse
Cloning - boon or bane?

2

anjali.nair 13 5871 10 November 2005 at 8:44pm
By Signora2
Science - a boon or curse? -misha 8 46251 04 October 2005 at 2:39am
By rikzik

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Debate Mansion Topic Index

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.