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Daughters: A Boon Or A Bane!!!

sree IF-Rockerz
sree
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Posted: 12 September 2006 at 6:28am | IP Logged

Friends


 There are people who say that "Betiyaan Ghar Ki Lakshmi Hoti hai". Betiyon Se Ghar banta hai!!.

 At the same time, there are another set of people who see Daughters as a curse rather than a boon... Times have changed, we have moved into a new era, where we have achieved and developed in a long way... But one of the thing that remains the same or close to truth, is the way Daughters are looked down upon in the Society... Women are always considered to be inferior to men. The girl child is considered to be a burden. The girl child is always looked down upon, while the son of the house is considered to be the Treasure ....

   Now, can we go into a discussion mode and reason out , give our thoughts on whether this discrimination exists even today...

  •   Are women still considered inferior to men?

 

  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

 

  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??

Friends, please join in this discussion and give your valuable thoughts on this debate....

IF Development team

 



Edited by sree - 12 September 2006 at 6:29am

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

Innocent_BachiCool_Bearuknaik99

JinK IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 12 September 2006 at 6:35am | IP Logged
  Are women still considered inferior to men?

 Yes, it is true. Especially in Indian society, many families do consider their daughters to be inferior to their sons. Of course, they do care more about the safety of their daughters as opposed to their sons, but the thing is that the daughter is seen in many households to be a housewife-in-the-making...

Someone whose job, from the day she is born, is to wake up early in the morning, wake their husband up and get him dressed, do the same for the kids, drop the kids off at school, come back home, clean, cook, set the table, help with the kids' homework, and then go to sleep, to wake up the next day and repeat the entire routine, taking care of the entire house. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, the thing is that if they don't want to spend their life like that, taking care of their family, then they shouldn't.

They have dreams and hopes too; some women do prefer being housewives, and that is perfectly fine, as being a housewife and taking care of the home and family is also a big job to do. However, if they have a wish to work, then they shouldn't be stopped at all! It is completely their choice, to be a housewife or to work, and as long as they can balance their life, be it any decision they choose to take, why should anyone else have any objection?

But yes, this mental image does exist that only the man of the family should go to work, bring home the money, and the wife should stay at home and take care of the house. Even sometimes, when the family is having some financial problems, the "traditional values" are too rigorously fixed in the people's minds to allow the wife to go to work, even if she is completely educated and qualified.
  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??

It is all about pressurization. The young girls who are going to be married off, are sometimes being married because their parents are going through a financial crisis. However, when the groom and his family demand dowry, what is the family to do? The daughter sees herself as being a complete burden upon the family, and this lowers her self-esteem so much that she feels that she is not even good enough to live anymore, and kills herself.

About feticide/abortion, this is also completely based on pressure. As said in the answer below, a male child is considered a boon, and the female child a bane. Today, women go with their husbands to have scans, and if the child is revealed to be a baby girl, then most times they are pressurized to have an abortion done, instead of bringing another "burden" upon the family. And the woman is forced to kill the child.

Sometimes, even after birth, (if they have not done a scan), the baby girl is taken and buried alive. This is an entirely horrible concept, and everyone who has done such a thing does suffer emotionally for the rest of their lives, or until a baby boy is born which you can consider to be, metaphorically, a broken toy sent back and a brand new toy sent in its place. You know which is which.
  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??
This is one of the most prehistoric ideas that exist - they have been around for an extremely long time, and are still in people's minds. When a girl gets married, she either loses her maiden name or it is changed to her middle name (sometimes, if the in-laws don't like the first name, it is changed too!) Thus, the Indian saying, which says "Betian to parayi hoti hain". And it's all because of this that the male child, who will carry on his father's name, is looked upon as the torch-bearer, the person who will "save" the family.

Also, the children of a couple always receive their father's name or last name as their surname. In a few families, the children are given their mother's surname as a middle name, but this is not such a popular idea. It does not really matter in society that it is, after all, the woman who gives birth (the families who practise infanticide and feticide also do not understand this) painstakingly, for after all, it is the man who matters, isn't it?

Just my opinionEmbarrassed
Thanks,
Jink


Edited by JinK - 12 September 2006 at 7:01am
Too_Much IF-Rockerz
Too_Much
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Posted: 12 September 2006 at 6:44am | IP Logged

Sree ji...thanks for bringing a valuable subject ... in every ones notice.

Its true betiya ghar ki lakshmi hoti hai...no doubt becoz a female will make a family keeps every one united (not talking abt serials) in real life they will be pillar of support. As I mentioned they unite (simultaneously separte it is not a issue to be disscussed). My views is that this kinda feeling that girls are burden are usually bump in mind of people who are poorer by wealth and health too. They will not think abt today they will think abt her marriage right on. Which is negative thing they feel they are the one who will pay for her dowry etc... but will never think if we give the amount of love or education what we planned to provide a boy this girls may do wonders. Nowadays not only in bac sector people well settled people and even in rich families a mother in law will behaveodd if her daughter in law gave birth to a female...some one should tell what you mother though when u were born???

 

Abt  inferior, yes there has been alaot ego problem .even though we should not see female as lower or some thing all are same. Lekin some times female herself is not confident  .

 

Dowry death coz woman herself feels she don't have the ability to fight.. from childhood in her mind it is said that u are not equally to men .so she cant fight and afraid to face the public.



Edited by guess_gallery - 12 September 2006 at 7:29am
kirtib IF-Veteran Member
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Posted: 12 September 2006 at 6:44am | IP Logged
Well I am must say very interesting topic.. I agree time has changed..My father has never differentiated between my brother and me but still when it came to late nite parties and all my dad had one line for me that society has made different rules for men and women.. If a boy parties late nite in India wit girls it is allrite.. He is a boy but if a girl does the same thing everyone will pinpoint oh look she was seen wit this boy late nite!!

I think late nite party is a very small issue but I jus want to pinpoint that no matter whether we feel that we are treated equally but there is always some difference between men and women..

Now coming to the questions..

1. Are women still considered inferior to men?

I feel in the modern society the terminology has changed.. We no longer say that women are inferior to men but women are always asked to compromise and adjust..

2. Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??
I think somehow the rules has to be changed by us the younger generation. Giving and taking dowry should be absolutley banned.. While the upper class can afford to give dowry the problem falls on the middle class who r burdened to large extent to give dowry for their daughter.. I feel the feticides occur because families feel that they wont be able to give dowry for theor daughters.. But I want to aapeal to all the mothers that they are also women.. How can they kill another women..

3.Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??
The sole reason is Indian society is male dominated.. Whether we agree or not even in our families somehow father has the ultimate say.. Even if women earns the verdict of the male is the ultimate!!
kavyanjaliforev Senior Member
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Joined: 12 June 2006
Posts: 528

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 7:17am | IP Logged

Well, i agree wid u but here in pakistan even small issues are made into big ones like if i come home late nite bcoz i have gone to my friends party or even to my relatives home or on a wedding my neighbours start gossiping and they tell my mother tht they shudn't allow me to come home late.Tht irritates me very much but thnk god my parents don't mind all these things(i luv them) u know what now in my opinion i think tht girls also have a rite to live as they want(i mean to say there shud b sum kind of decisions of our own)but as time has changed i mostly prefer to come home earlier so tht ppl won't have anything to chat or gossip about!!

My answer to ur question:

Are women still considered inferior to men?

Women are considered inferior by most men, even in professions like journalism. Women's work is undervalued both in terms of pay and status. Women are primarily expected to be wives and mothers engaged in undervalued work like reproducing and rearing children, cooking, cleaning and looking after the household.This is totally wrong women also have a right to have a profession and to gain education.In the earlier times women were not allowed to go out of villages for further studies bcoz ppl thought tht women shud be taking care of the children!!

 

kamal2006 Senior Member
kamal2006
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Joined: 25 July 2006
Posts: 461

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 9:12am | IP Logged

when is this drama starting on zee pls?
devashree_h Moderator
devashree_h
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Joined: 23 December 2005
Posts: 15134

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 10:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sree

Friends


 There are people who say that "Betiyaan Ghar Ki Lakshmi Hoti hai". Betiyon Se Ghar banta hai!!.

 At the same time, there are another set of people who see Daughters as a curse rather than a boon... Times have changed, we have moved into a new era, where we have achieved and developed in a long way... But one of the thing that remains the same or close to truth, is the way Daughters are looked down upon in the Society... Women are always considered to be inferior to men. The girl child is considered to be a burden. The girl child is always looked down upon, while the son of the house is considered to be the Treasure ....

   Now, can we go into a discussion mode and reason out , give our thoughts on whether this discrimination exists even today...

  •   Are women still considered inferior to men?
              Oh yes, wherever they go there is discrimination.As
              girls we are still expected to behave in certain way
              while boys are not questioned, not always. 

 

  • Why is there an increasing number of dowry deaths and feticide in the country today??
           May be it has not increased, it was there before but i think more
         &nbs p; and more cases are registered, I think thats a good thing.

 

  • Why is the girl child shunned by society while the boy is looked upon as the sole torch bearer for the family??
           I think the situation is changing, atleast its better than before.
         &nbs p; But we are a patriarchal society and this will take time in
         &nbs p; changing.A male is seen as the bread-winner while the daughter
         &nbs p; is seen as "Kisi aur ki amanat".Someone who will leave and go.
         &nbs p; While the son is seen as someone who will take care of his
         &nbs p;  parents in their old-age.

Friends, please join in this discussion and give your valuable thoughts on this debate....

IF Development team

 

Naughty_n_nice IF-Veteran Member
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Joined: 12 August 2005
Posts: 9046

Posted: 12 September 2006 at 11:10am | IP Logged

First of all, it is absolutely wrong to distinguish and discriminate different sexes this way, be it male or female...

Women nowadays are not shunned aside in anything, be it sports, academics, business, anything.... to me, it's superstitious, in a very ironic way.
 
Originally posted by devashree_h


is seen as "Kisi aur ki amanat".Someone who will leave and go.While the son is seen as someone who will take care of his parents in their old-age.


As Devashree ^^ put it, men are considered to be those who will look after their family while women walk off.... This is pretty wrong, as in today's world, a woman is one who cares more, about anything. So do men, but there is no reasoning in saying that women don't care.

And female infanticide is wrong. So is dowry...

[QUOTE=kirtib]
While the upper class can afford to give dowry the problem falls on the middle class who r burdened to large extent to give dowry for their daughter.. I feel the feticides occur because families feel that they wont be able to give dowry for theor daughters.. But I want to aapeal to all the mothers that they are also women.. How can they kill another women..
[/
QUOTE]

I absolutely agree, this is the main reason for female infanticide, and also because people feel men will provide more financial profit........
But how can? As she put it, a mother kill her child? Her mother could have killed her, but she let her live... why?

More opinion later...

-Sam
Smile

Edited by Naughty_n_nice - 12 September 2006 at 11:12am

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