Joined: 03 May 2014
Hi people...here with my second story...this time an SS, please read, comment, like, criticize...just let me know your views...the comments really help in moving ahead with the story...
NOTE: The order of events has been changed to suit this story.
The story continues form the episode when Pratap got bitten by a snake
Till now: The samaroh(function where Gauhar Jaan dances) is over and it's quite a time since Pratap left to go after Surtan Singh. In Chittor, Maharani Jaywanthabai has initiated the Mansa devi puja. Pratap has somehow dragged himself out of the cave but Rao Mamrakh has just left the castle with his soldiers to find Pratap. Ajabdeh and Phool are sitting in their room. Phool is still shocked by the events that happened at the samaroh and is expressing her anxiety to Ajabdeh.
"Ajabdeh,aapne apne vastr kyu badal liye? Kitni sundar lag rahi thi aap. Vaise, aap ki marzi aap jo bhi karna chahen(Ajabdeh is now wearing her red and yellow lehenga). Hume to yeh soch-soch ke krodh aa raha hai ki us Rao Surtan ki himmat kaise hui jhoomar ki rassi kaatne ki. Agar hamare bade dada ko pata chala na, to uska aisa haal karenge ki vo khanjar uthana bhi bhool jayega. Agar Kunwar Pratap nahi hote, to na jaane aaj kya ho jaata."
All of a sudden, Ajabdeh closes her eyes tight. Jaywanthabai's puja had opened Ajabdeh's inner eye. "Kunwar Pratap...Nahi...nahi...aisa nahi ho sakta.." she exclaimed, with fear in her voice. She immediately calls a dasi. "Suniye,bhabo(Hansa bai) aur Kunwar Pratap ke mitron ko foran raj darbar me bhejiye" and she herself advances towards the raj darbar with Phool at her heels.
As soon as she reaches there, she questions the ministers and Kunwar Pratap's friends, "Kya aap sab jaante hai ki Kunwar Pratap kahan gaye hain?"
"Ji bai sa, Ve keh rahe the ki ve jungle me samapt hone wale gupt dwar se Surtan Singh ke piche ja rahe hain," a minister replied.
Ajabdeh's eyes widen with fear, "gupt dwar...jungle..."she mutters to herself. "Sainikon, hume shighr vahan pahunchna hai. Aap sab..." but she is cut off in mid-sentence by Hansa bai, who had just arrived there.
"Parantu Ajabdeh, aap vahan jaana kyu chahti hain?"
"Maa, Kunwar Pratap ki jaan ko khatra hai!"
Every single person in the room is shocked. Hansa bai is the first one to break the silence, "Kya unhe koi ghav laga hai Ajabdeh?" she asks slowly with a rather full of fear voice. "Ghav...arre, humne to is baat par vichar hi nahi kiya..."Ajabdeh mumbles to herself. Then she turns to her mother, "hum nahi jaante maa, hume bas itna pata hai ki Kunwar Pratap ke pran sankat me hai...Dasi, ek potli me ghav ki aushadhi,kapda,aur jal bandhiye,shighr!"
"Theek hai, hum aapke jaane ki vyavastha karvate hain" and Hansa bai calls for the palki's to be readied. But Ajabdeh interrupts her, "Nahi maa. Agar hum palki se gaye, to bahut samay beet jayega. Hume vahan jald se jald pahunchna hai."
"Phir kaise jayengi aap vahan?" Hansa bai asks.
"Ashvon ki kheenchi gadi me jayenge hum vahan...Kunwar Pratap ke mitron, Kya aap gadi ke ashvon ko dorane me hamari sahayta karenge? Hum aapse vinti karte hain..."and she joins her hands in front of them. Although she was a princess, joining her hands in front of un-royal people wasn't a big thing for her. All she cared about was Kunwar Pratap, and she could fall on anybody's feet to save his life. "Ajabdeh bai sa, isme vinti kaisi? Aap jaisa kahengi,hum sab vaisa hi karenge. Baujiraj humare bhi mitr hai, hume bhi unki chinta hai." Vyenidas's answer satisfied Ajabdeh. So all of them proceeded towards the door, but were stopped in the tracks by a voice. It was Phoolkanwar, she had finally opened her mouth. "Ajabdeh,hum bhi challenge aap ke saath."
"Phool, hum gadi me jaa rahe hai, palki me nahi. Kya aap beth payengi sakht sateh(hard surface) par?"
"Haan Ajabdeh, hum beth jayenge. Agar baat Kunwar Pratap ke pranon ki hai, to hume bhi apna yogdan dena hai unhe bachane me." So, all of them leave at once.
With Chakrapani, Vyenidas and Bheem on horses, two soldiers guiding the way and Ajabdeh and Phoolkanwar seated in the cart with the cloth sac that contained the aid to Pratap's life (according to Ajabdeh) , the team was racing through the jungles towards the cave outside of which, Pratap was lying, battling every moment with his death. The uncomfortable cart had started bothering Phoolkanwar, and she was freely voicing out her difficulty, without any concern about everybody's state of mind. Nobody, not even her best friend Ajabdeh was listening to her. All that Ajabdeh had on her mind was Pratap, and the difficulty he must be facing. As the seconds went by, Ajabdeh's fear increased about Pratap and his life, but at the same time, she couldn't loose hope. She could envision a seriously injured Pratap, lying helpless on barren land, with nobody to his aid. This sight made her even more scared. She could feel Pratap's pain, as if it were her own. But she repeatedly told herself, Kuch nahi hoga Kunwar Pratap ko. Hum unhe kuch nahi hone denge. Ham bas pahunchte hi honge. Kunwar Pratap ko kuch nahi hoga. Hey Eklingji, unki raksha karna...'
In the mean time, Rao Mamrakh had left the spot (to which they were all heading) after conducting a fruitless search of Kunwar Pratap over there. Within two minutes of his departure, the group headed by Ajabdeh reached there and Ajabdeh immediately ordered, "Sab phel jayiye aur dhoondiye Kunwar Pratap ko!"
All this time Pratap was lying helplessly behind a bundle of hay, which blocked everybody's view of him. After Rao Mamrakh ji had left, he had lost almost all his hope. He had tried mounting his horse, but in vain. The poison had weakened him so much that he couldn't even speak. Foam had started forming in his mouth. But then, he heard Ajabdeh's voice. The flickering flame of hope in his heart was now upright. Not just hope, but also a joy spread through him, making him more confident than ever. He hadn't felt so when he heard Mamrakh ji's voice. There was something ajab in Ajabdeh's voice that made him happy despite of his condition. He put in every ounce of energy left in him and made every attempt to make himself visible, although he knew at heart, that if no one did, atleast Ajabdeh would find him, even if me made no attempts.
Within seconds, that beautiful face in his memories was standing right before his eyes. Ajabdeh had seen him, and had spoken his name (in a louder voice), and her voice was filled with a certain emotion, which was hard to explain for Pratap. She sat down on her knees in front of him. He could clearly see her face now which was level with his own. One by one, others appeared before Pratap, and their faces showed clear signs of fear. But nobody's expressions were matching those of Ajabdeh. Ajabdeh's face was full of concern for Pratap, and fear of loosing his life, and a joy for finding him at last, and shock at seeing him in that condition, and worry of the difficulty caused to him, and...there was pain on her face, which was far beyond anything. Every part of her face was portraying this complex feeling. And those mystic eyes, they were on the verge of tears. He didn't want to see Ajabdeh cry, nor did he want to look at anything else. But slowly, his eyes started closing. The poison was making him loose control over his senses. And he immediately heard Ajabdeh's worried cry, "Kunwar Pratap, Kunwar Pratap,aankhe kholiye Kunwar Pratap!! hamari potli laiye, shighr!"
Here is the first part...please comment and tell me how is it...i've worked out a big story ahead...but comment and present your views please...will update ASAP...
Guys, also, tell me about the length of the update...coz when i read other SS's, i find their updates shorter...so please tell me if this length is okay or if i should shorten it... :D
Edit: Other works by me if anyone interested in reading them...
PrAja SS-Thats Where My World Lies...
PrAja OS- Just Can't See Your Pain...
Okay...this story has really progressed a lot...thanks to all of you...so here is the index :)
Joined: 24 April 2014
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