Nothing Inspirational-The Plight of Indian Telly Bahus~-VBNOTE.PG8 - Page 2

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Mrs_Ojha

@Mrs_Ojha

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Deepika_bigfan

On the contrary, woman is given high importance in our Dharma and Parampara and a woman is the pratishta and samman of every family. There are always digressions and wrong practices, but the spirit of our dharma is always to regard woman in high esteem. One needs to understand the real intent and meaning of our dharma, identify the wrong practices and shun them. It is absolutely wrong to imply that our dharma needs to be rejected, just to be progressive.

So far I have not seen any kind of respect given by any family members to Sandy except of her own husband. And even Suraj keeps his mouth shut in front of his mother. So what kind of 'high esteem' are we talking about here.

Sandy's life in RM is like life in prison. She cannot even make one step without fear of being harrassed by her in-laws in front of the whole Hanuman gali. Really, is this a kind of life that we want for our daughters?

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HalleNJ

@HalleNJ

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Posted: 10 years ago

well said sonali...

whether a character can be an inspiration or not, it depends on the individual ...so im not here to defend that sandhya is the best...Sandhya may not be an inspirational for all people but at least she is far far better than most female lead portrayed in current indian shows...that's all I have to say...

Edited by niruba - 10 years ago

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SK_Hyd

@SK_Hyd

Senior Member

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Mrs_Ojha

So far I have not seen any kind of respect given by any family members to Sandy except of her own husband. And even Suraj keeps his mouth shut in front of his mother. So what kind of 'high esteem' are we talking about here.
Sandy's life in RM is like life in prison. She cannot even make one step without fear of being harrassed by her in-laws in front of the whole Hanuman gali. Really, is this a kind of life that we want for our daughters?

@Mrs_ojha, the point I made was a general one, not specifically to Sandhya. But even if it is applied to Sandhya, my perception is that, now her in-laws do respect her a lot. There could be a difference in perceptions and also in value systems. If it is viewed in a more "individualistic" (western) value, then what you said is true. But if it is viewed in a "family" value, then it is different.

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: nneeiill
you said it all piu

i am appalled at how they are showing their main lead who is supposed to be an inspiration but naa..seeing her plight i dont think any bahu would ever want to be an IPS officer ...

i mean what if tomorrow she gets a transfer to remote place?? what will sandhya beendhani and her so called bhabho will deal with the situation

these flashbacks of bhabho n her saural in her mind when she should be only thinking about her devotion to country ...is so irritating to watch😡

what is the use of winning BCT or in that matter this IPS training when u cant even come out of ur personal conflicts..such an uninspiring character...

Originally posted by: MR21
Well said Piu...I completely agree with u...this character is so not inspirational...so unrealistic...ab toh trophy milegi...well CVs made sure that...aur family ke saath bhi rahegi...uske baad kya...she would not be able to perform her duty properly...when ever there would be any emergency, she would have to take her MIL permission to do her work which she claims as her DREAM...she would have to follow all the rules n regulations of her MIL rather than following the rules of an IPS officer...pati dev toh silent mode pe hi rahega hamesha ki tharah...such a pathetic treatment of a amazing concept...

@Neilu and Ramya

It's worthless to express anything which should be a burning question to society.Indian TV will never change😕

As koolsadhu in one of the threads said Best cadet trophy is for consistent skills and not a bravery AWARD for showing bravery in one event which you were a part of accidentally

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Piu Chatterjee

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: -Amli-
Nomoshkar Piu Di.😃.
Tu mi kemon aacho?.
Nomoshkar ..ami bhalo achi ..
One single post and see how everyone pounces as if it's a crime to make a post😆Anyways the FACT will always remain that this is a FREE FORUM so I'll keep writing if I feel like😊

I have said plenty of times in the forum that I don't consider Sandhya as an inspirational figure because of the reasons you've pointed out in your main post.
Yes pretty much !!

I'm coming from simple middle class family background and noticed/observed/analyzed how Indian women in India watches drama. Generally, they ain't bothered about real/unreal. They watches drama for the entertainment purpose and forget it. Don't bothered to remember/analyze it. Usually, it is in the forum we are involved too much with drama and characters. We take participate in the discussion and analyze it so deeply that even CVs of the show never bothered to think that much...!
Seriously CV's write for TRP's that's it.They do not go into layers etc..so I still cannot understand why we all women continue to support torture in the name of entertainment.

Now, In the beginning of the show producers of the show claimed that this story is inspired from real life. Sumit Mital once went to eat panipuri in Ahmedabad and came to know that panipuri man helped his wife to become an IPS/IAS officer. Shashi/Sumit Mital stayed many years in Ahmedabad before moving to Mumbai. I'm born and brought up in Gujarat and always tend to read/watch news from childhood but I never heard or remembered such a story published in any newspaper. If this claim is true then why Panipuri vala n his wife never came into limelight because this is show garnering high TRPs from long gap?😕.

A very valid point Amisha..👏👏👏CV's sensationalise things and thus feed upon the fantasies of people who fail to differenciate what should be IDEALLY Inspiring and what is not .

But ek baat toh hai..Indian mindset will never change because we have been programmed to bear torture in the name of traditions

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: malikakas
I was a bit annoyed too with the way they handled it. Personally I love Zakhir's tenacity to be the best. I actually felt he deserved the BCT until they destroyed his integrity with the compass disaster.
AGREED!!Thus in my post I have never called Zakir the deserving one for BCT instead I have HIGHLIGHTED some aspects about how the message which we are giving to the society is wrong

I love Sandy but she really should've been putting her heart and soul into her training instead of worrying about appeasing her family. Loads of times family members can't attend someone's wedding due to work commitments. It's not the end of the world. Had Sandy used that time to improve her shooting skills it would be far more useful in the long run to serve her country.
This is actually what I am actually wanting to see,Sandhya performing for herself and not for some STUPID pressure of getting a wonderful posting.

I am all for showing people that it is okay to have a well rounded life. Ie women can find a balance between career and family. But sometimes you have to prioritize and while she was in training that should have been her focus.
Would like to slightly DISAGREE here.I AGREE people and specially a woman should have a well balanced life but IPS is not merely a JOB..It's a way of life.
Imagine if a doctor says Oh I will serve a posting in Pushkar only because I have my husband there who will serve in remote areas ??If a soldier at the border says Ahh I would not live here and should get a posting near the cosy comforts of my house then probably you and me wouldn't be able to DISCUSS this show even...
See the main point of difference in our OPINIONS is that you are probably viewing IPS as just another career but I view it as a penance and responsibility of life time.Such are NOBLE proffessions where you pledge to serve with devotion without even an iota of confusion or detachment.
I agree she is HUMAN at the end of the day but Police is an epitome of responsibility.It can be merged with other jobs where the security and safety of nation does not lie in your hands.Times will come when her tyrannical saas will pull her down ,she will again be in doldrums??

Overall though I think I am still impressed with where they have taken a show. They hooked the regular folk on to the saas bahu dramas and now are showing a bahu becoming more than just the typical, stay at home, housewife. It is definitely a step in the right direction compared to the usual completely docile bahus that we are used too. If this show is successful then we will see more and more creators taking this approach which will take female empowerment to the next level. Rome wasn't built in a day and its not easy to change mindsets. Sometimes you have to ease people into a change instead of just throwing a radical concept at them.

I disagree here again.Being optimistic is good but how long should we be waiting for changing mindsets.Rome was not built in a day and yes I agree it takes time to bring any radical change in the society.But I really don't see any change in the way they are executing a beautiful message in such a bad manner.WHY SHOULD SHE BOW DOWN TO UNREASONABLE DEMANDS ?

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: --jas--
complerely agree with every point ... good to see finally someone has come up with these points in this forum 👏

actually i was shocked when sandhya beendhini's only remorse was not keeping bhabho and surajji's promise and no feelings for terminating the ips career of one talented cadet ,the one who truly deserves BCT ... felt like has sandhya lost the humanity she had ...

Thanks Jas. It is futile to voice opinions in this forum as you are either CONDONED or advised to stop making posts or better still being mocked upon.

None the less ,I always like interesting discussions and you're welcome to participate and voice your opinion freely😊

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Piu Chatterjee

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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: coolmausam
Its Easy to Nothing Inspirational untill and unless we get into a Fate of Sandhya.
Trust me dear It's equally hard for me to write when I write that there is nothing INSPIRATIONAL.Fate like Sandhya?Sans the tragedy of being tricked into marriage .Yes!!Somehow yes -I have no qualms accepting openly ,I had a fate somehow similar to hers.
Born in a very Modern family where women are treated with respect and are taught to have free and liberal thinking
Married into a household where women were supposed to be nothing but doormats
Tyrannical MIL yes
FIL more strict and orthodox where we did not even had the right to raise our eyes in his presence and could not sit on the same place where he was
SIL yes ..
In short a even more fearful set up than this so called TRADITIONAL family
The only Difference I Had a VOICE my husband too
So I know what I am writing .Who better than me ?Ain't it
Trust me just to meekly bow down to injustice in the name of being TRADITIONAL is what that bugs me.
A person mutely bearing injustice is an equal culprit..that is my problem with Sandhya.
If A Woman working does not mean she has to Forget her Responsibilities towards her Family
If a Working Woman wears embroidery sarees and jewels it does not mean she is a Typical Bahu, a minimal Look is Good to keep with as long as its not inconvenient to her.We should not Forget she is a Human she too has emotions
My problem has never been with women in serials being clad in a saree.MY PROBLEM HAS BEEN STEREOTYPING.Saree is an official dress I do wear it too...to each his own ...a person is free to wear whatever he feels like but my problem is with the glorification of Saree clad women by demeaning others who do not wear it...
Every job has its own demands,its dress code and code of conduct...
lawyers wear black coat because its the decorum of their uniform..
doctors wear white coats so that protects them from soiling inner clothings also taki thoda ganda ho toh pata chal jayein and infection does not spread..They even tie their hair so that a single baal does not fall on wounds..We cut out nails with no nail polish for hygiene reasons..
Similarly with IPS comes responsibilities and demands too..
So when all others in training academy were busy ith training why was Sandhya being portrayed as an IDEAL woman while others not.
HAIR CUTTING IS Also REQUIRED BECAUSE WHEN A REAL LIFE FIGHT OCCURS..IT IS VERY EASY TO OVERPOWER THE ENEMY BY FORCEFULLY GRIPPING HER LONG HAIR.THE SHORTER THE HAIR LESSER ARE THE CHANCES OF BEING OVERPOWERED...Why do you think army men keep their hair trimmed so that wo kisi bhi enemy k grip mein na aye..Police is not a joke...Sirf mock race lagana hi police giri nahi hoti..
Why are they making it an issue associating it with FEMINISM...BIG DEAL...JOB MILTI HAI TOH USKA DECORUM MAINTAIN KARNA HOTA HAI ...Code of conduct and grooming follow karna padta hai...FEMINISM IS NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE LENGTH OF YOUR HAIR...Sandy is not working for a cosmetic brand or hair salon or a saree shop ..she is an IPS Officer for which she needs to follow rules of conduct..
I hate how they are portraying it as if its a war bw ADARSH BHARATIYA NARI AND HER LONG HAIR SABHYATA and how the IPS is supposed to be twisted to suit her feminism😕
She too had a Personal Life.and cant be a Professional doormat all the time Leaving her Personal Life.
I specially love this term you used.Yes Indeed there are professional Doormats too.Wish any show had the sense to cater to the 68 percent Urban population according to the census in 2013 who have careers and HIGHLIGHT the woes of being a PROFESSIONAL DOORMAT ,where careers and job givers are exploited.I wish any show had the guts to make such a show which the other half of the India could identify with.I would love to discuss it in such a show if ever such a character is etched out.
With a Husband like him,There is No wrong to Have BCT to Live Happily with her Husband,Family and doing job.
She want to make her Family Happy , like Zakir want to Acheive his Brothers aim and make his Family Happy.
Would like to slightly DISAGREE here.I AGREE people and specially a woman should have a well balanced life but IPS is not merely a JOB..It's a way of life.
Imagine if a doctor says Oh I will serve a posting in Pushkar only because I have my husband there who will serve in remote areas ??If a soldier at the border says Ahh I would not live here and should get a posting near the cosy comforts of my house then probably you and me wouldn't be able to DISCUSS this show even...
See the main point of difference in our OPINIONS is that you are probably viewing IPS as just another career but I view it as a penance and responsibility of life time.Such are NOBLE proffessions where you pledge to serve with devotion without even an iota of confusion or detachment.
I agree she is HUMAN at the end of the day but Police is an epitome of responsibility.It can be merged with other jobs where the security and safety of nation does not lie in your hands.Times will come when her tyrannical saas will pull her down ,she will again be in doldrums??

she has Different shades in her-A Daughter,a wife ,A Bahu,A Bhabi, A Working Woman
A Woman is a human like any other to have emotions and Balance all her Different Sahdes.
Who said she cannot be human ?
But she cannot put the huge responsibility as IPS just to BALANCE her life..
BTW Why should she balance?Why can't she just left free to fly and give herself for her dreams without being pressurised .Isn't it too much for a lady to always weigh her and make her BALANCE Everything.
LET HER BREATHE and LIVE HER DREAM.Is this too much to ask for ??

Sandhya is Not only a Bahu also she can Sacrifise her Life to her country and a smart girl in Decoding Tricky Jobs
An Ispirtional Woman is the one who is Successful in her Professional and Personal Life

I Find her Successfull in Both areas.

Sadly I do not see any such quality in her.All the time she is either worried about Bhabho or worried about her posting or her family duties.She could have actually trained herself to actually deserve the BCT and not win it by fluke

Edited by manzilmukul - 10 years ago

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

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+ 5

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: PadBear
I have stopped being shocked by Sandy's behaviour now. Missing that last shot and immediately...Bhhabooo! ... was really in bad taste, but I am not surprised. Basically all I see is, Sandy muddling along, having next to no confidence. But the entire training track is geared towards making things fall into her lap and make her succeed. It is complete fiction and fiction that doesn't inspire at all. So contrived that it's funny - and that's about the best I can say about what I saw recently.

Paddy I love your sarcastic posts .Though haven't been much around due to work commitments but I still remember your fun posts.The show has actually either boils my blood or I have a good laugh at it..

@BOLD--Gags gags!!I so wanted to see Sandhya being tormented for not being able to shoot properly lamenting on how she not only lost a dream trophy but also finished someone else's career.But nahi ji...Aaa music and bhabho🤢Though the show claimed to be a work of exemplary work of art but appears just a lurid display of Indianised pulp fiction

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Piu Chatterjee

@Transference

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Posted: 10 years ago

Much appreciated Sonali .Indeed humbled that inspite of finding it so boring you actually survived through it and took such amount of your valuable time to type out such an elaborate reply.OH ,it also amazes that you could actually remember what I wrote eons of ages ago.Indeed humbled again.

Indeed as mentioned and constantly reminded by you,It would have been challenging my human sensibilities to type the same thing again and again everyday😊

@BOLD Thanks for the advise again but none taken as no one has the right to tell INSTRUCT me in a Public forum on what I need to do or not.

If it's not rhetorical to write Wow how fantastic the show is,then condoning it Isn't a crime either??Is it ??I will continue to write ILLOGICAL posts repeatedly😊 if I wish so.

Since Your time is precious,I would not write any such more ILLOGICAL BORING STUFF so that you again have to type another reply.Both saved the HORROR .

Just a few points

Is IPS just another profession?
Is living a dream unworthy unless you have to PROVE yourself to your family?
Does family stand above country and your duty ?
What is the point of support of a husband who stands mute while a wife is being insulted publicly?
What is the marital bliss which we talk about in RP?Cooking day and night , bearing curses day and night and being insulted is not marital bliss as far as I know ?Is it?
Entertainment shouldn't be voyeuristic or should be ?

Originally posted by: Sonali_11
If you never wanted to make a post in this forum again, then I would say It was a good move actually theres no need to write the same kind of thing over and over again ...I remember you made a similar post sometime back also...Actually I never thought I'll reply such illogical and boring post , but yeah I was not doing anything right now...So just giving my view.

Many people watch indian shows or even movies for a good entertainment, it doesn't necessarily mean that u have to find something inspirational or not so inspirational...Secondly , there can be things which can be appealing to some while they maybe rubbish for some..so not an issue anyways...

The characters of Suraj and Sandhya are not flawless but they are written very deeply and this is why people connect with them ..DABH is a traditional show and tries to cast a positive spell..

Sandhya and Suraj both give a lot of preference to their family but at the same time , Suraj knew how to go against her mother and make his wife achieve her dream...I doubt there are many men who would want their wife to be more successful then them.( Being a halwai , he understood what sandhya's dream means to her ...has done so much for his wife actually) ..

The thing which attracted me towards this show was its concept , husband wife relationship has been shown so beautifully , I doubt another show can ever do it so nicely even in the coming years...

Sandhya gives a lot of preference to her family, but then again whats wrong in that? Does being an IPS mean u should forget ur family? when she was attending Chavi's wedding she acted like a good bahu, now she is is giving importance to her country by saving officer singh..Sandhya is a confident and smart girl, in other shows I hardly see such girls.In the upcoming tracks she will balance both family and work ..Sandhya considers Bhabo and babasa her parents, and if u have a husband like Suraj u would automatically be good to his family..In the case of Bhabo too, there have been numerous tracks when she admitted her wrong doing and in the end supported Sandhya.

Although there are flaws but DABH has been trying to give good msgs or atleast tried ...

If Bhabo wants Sandhya to win BCT trophy or Sandhya wants to win it for the family whats so wrong in that? bhabo knows what Sandhya is capable of , Also if Bhabo wants Suraj to get marital bliss just like her other sons are getting theres nothing wrong in that ...

BCT is something because of which all cadets wil try to give out their best, Just like when u are a student there are first , second and third positions given according to how many marks u get in all the subjects, same is the case with BCT.

Edited by manzilmukul - 10 years ago

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