Diya Aur Baati Hum


Diya Aur Baati Hum
Diya Aur Baati Hum

Nothing Inspirational-The Plight of Indian Telly Bahus~-VBNOTE.PG8

manzilmukul IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 14 April 2011
Posts: 11351

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 10:49am | IP Logged
I would have never thought I will ever make a post again in this forum but as a woman It would be a SHAME if I watch silently and continue to SUPPORT the pseudo HAPPY tears of the sensationalisation of the Halwai
's wife becoming an IPS. Let's start from the beginning.

The portrayal of the so called INSPIRATIONAL Beendani  has been seriously flawed- a characteristic which most  shows including DABH stereotypes- the homemakers are  given characterizations  which are dumb, good looking,  humorously decorous and the REAL professional women are shown as lustful-power-hungry, predatory and loud.With tin-pot leadership pseudo skills ,what a stupid mockery of IPS they have made along with the glory of the BEST CADET TROPHY. The typecasting of women is a typical characteristic of the shows where the Indian Bahus are docile,shy,dumb ,mute, submissive, adorned in heavy embroidered saris,plastered with tons of make-up, thick jewelry with a mang filled with vermillion .But  Sandhya Beendani somehow swings between the two.She has to be a proven doormat to be allowed to become the IPS officer.Well this is not entirely the whole issue.
I absolutely feel irritated when such a funny glorification of Sandhya's SUPER WOMAN SKILLS today suddenly will make her emerge as the HEROINE.I did not feel happy goosebumps on Sandhya being portrayed as an intelligent girl who emerges as the so called SAVIOUR who saves the country from TRAITORS..I am afraid of something more that is about to come.
Does Sandhya want to become an IPS just to win the Best cadet trophy living near her family or vice versa ?
 Yesterday,All she thinks about  is bhabho's pareshani and her losing BCT..What a shame  of IPS or joke ??really??The way Zakir asked her to kill him after runining his life was so heart touching..seriously beendani thinks only about her best cadet trophy to live with family members??I STRONGLY DISAGREE..BEST CADET trophy should be a dream to serve the country and not play beendani beendani
 My blood boils everytime I watch the beendani getting fbs of bhabho..really she gets zakir kicked out of the academy and there is not even an iota of remorse..her tears looks so fake..IPS is something about the pride to serve the country irrespective of the posting to be ready to forget everything except duty.THIS IS NOT FUN BUT IPS..DOES SHE EVEN UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS ??I DISAGREE WITH WHATEVER MESSAGE THE SHOW IS GIVING...THERE IS NOTHING INSPIRATIONAL..The motive to win best cadet trophy should be junoon to win for HERSELF and not for coochie cooing with family... and being treated as a doormat teaching the entire country that woman has to be a doormat first so also a woman can be IPS but when she wins an award she lets it go waste for attending sil's wedding instead of getting trained with the gun..the security of ppl nation is in the hands of the police and what is the use of such a police officer who herself is an epitome of silently suffering in the NAME of  dharma ,parampara ,pratishtha and samman.
If everyone in this country will think of getting a posting which makes her live in a safe haven fulfilling their Duties as a doormat bahu..
  • who will serve in remote areas?
  • Who will serve selflessly?
  • What is the purpose of her winning best cadet trophy if she only dreams of living close to her family and bows to the tyrannical mother-in law and supports the dumbness of a mute husband who stares at Bhabho every-time helplessly?
Sadly enough if Sandhya beendani could realise the importance of what she uttered today -COUNTRY COMES FIRST...Yes and that applies to your FAMILY TOO...

P.S-Please refrain from equating characters with actors and AVOID MUD-SLINGING.Please don't try to make me see logic because I cannot even after watching DABH religiously since months..I cannot

Edited by manzilmukul - 13 April 2014 at 1:00pm

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EXOL IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 02 June 2011
Posts: 19498

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 11:04am | IP Logged
you said it all piu

i am appalled at how they are showing their main lead who is supposed to be an inspiration but naa..seeing her plight i dont think any bahu would ever want to be an IPS officer ...

i mean what if tomorrow she gets a transfer to remote place?? what will sandhya beendhani and her so called bhabho will deal with the situation

these flashbacks of  bhabho n her saural in her mind when she should be only thinking about her devotion to country so irritating to watchAngry

what is the use of winning BCT or in that matter this IPS training when u cant even come out of ur personal conflicts..such an uninspiring character...

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MR21 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 09 September 2011
Posts: 4976

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 11:49am | IP Logged
Well said Piu...I completely agree with u...this character is so not unrealistic...ab toh trophy milegi...well CVs made sure that...aur family ke saath bhi rahegi...uske baad kya...she would not be able to perform her duty properly...when ever there would be any emergency, she would have to take her MIL permission to do her work which she claims as her DREAM...she would have to follow all the rules n regulations of her MIL rather than following the rules of an IPS officer...pati dev toh silent mode pe hi rahega hamesha ki tharah...such a pathetic treatment of a amazing concept...

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.Ami. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 January 2012
Posts: 11448

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
Nomoshkar Piu Di.Big smile.
Tu mi kemon aacho?Day Dreaming.

I have said plenty of times in the forum that I don't consider Sandhya as an inspirational figure because of the reasons you've pointed out in your main post.

I'm coming from simple middle class family background and noticed/observed/analyzed how Indian women in India watches drama. Generally, they ain't bothered about real/unreal. They watches drama for the entertainment purpose and forget it. Don't bothered to remember/analyze it. Usually, it is in the forum we are involved too much with drama and characters. We take participate in the discussion and analyze it so deeply that even CVs of the show never bothered to think that much...!

Now, In the beginning of the show producers of the show claimed that this story is inspired from real life. Sumit Mital once went to eat panipuri in Ahmedabad and came to know that panipuri man helped his wife to become an IPS/IAS officer. Shashi/Sumit Mital stayed many years in Ahmedabad before moving to Mumbai. I'm born and brought up in Gujarat and always tend to read/watch news from childhood but I never heard or remembered such a story published in any newspaper. If this claim is true then why Panipuri vala n his wife never came into limelight because this is show garnering high TRPs from long gap?Confused.

Edited by -Amli- - 12 April 2014 at 12:10pm

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malikakas IF-Rockerz

Joined: 22 February 2006
Posts: 5044

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
I was a bit annoyed too with the way they handled it. Personally I love Zakhir's tenacity to be the best. I actually felt he deserved the BCT until they destroyed his integrity with the compass disaster. 

I love Sandy but she really should've been putting her heart and soul into her training instead of worrying about appeasing her family. Loads of times family members can't attend someone's wedding due to work commitments. It's not the end of the world. Had Sandy used that time to improve her shooting skills it would be far more useful in the long run to serve her country. 

I am all for showing people that it is okay to have a well rounded life. Ie women can find a balance between career and family. But sometimes you have to prioritize and while she was in training that should have been her focus. 

Overall though I think I am still impressed with where they have taken a show. They hooked the regular folk on to the saas bahu dramas and now are showing a bahu becoming more than just the typical, stay at home, housewife. It is definitely a step in the right direction compared to the usual completely docile bahus that we are used too. If this show is successful then we will see more and more creators taking this approach which will take female empowerment to the next level. Rome wasn't built in a day and its not easy to change mindsets. Sometimes you have to ease people into a change instead of just throwing a radical concept at them. 

Edited by malikakas - 12 April 2014 at 12:56pm

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-JaZ- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 04 August 2010
Posts: 8003

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
complerely agree with every point ... good to see finally someone has come up with these points in this forum Clap

actually i was shocked when sandhya beendhini's only remorse was not keeping bhabho and surajji's promise and no feelings for terminating the ips career of one talented cadet ,the one who truly deserves BCT ... felt like has sandhya lost the humanity she had ...

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SK_Hyd Senior Member

Joined: 18 May 2012
Posts: 360

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 9:34pm | IP Logged

@Manzilmukul, thoughtful points I agree with some, but I disagree with some of them.  Since you added a PS not to make you see logic, this is for the others who would like to know.

Type casting is not good and since it is universal it is obvious there are advantages to the creators in portraying the character. But there is nothing wrong in a bahu trying to be good looking or wearing embroidered dresses and jewellery.  Just as a man dresses up to go to his profession, a "home maker" (bahu's profession) should be good to dress up as long as she enjoys it and not imposed.

I would like to point out that typecasting is shown not just for women but to everybody - for example a good husband and a successful professional man are shown in similar stereotypes. A high ranking professional is shown to be abnormally rude, snobby and bossy just to make a point!  My point is - we just need to mentally filter them and see through it. In any case, in Sandhya's case, she is not shown as dumb, docile, etc.. and in fact she is the smartest in the family. 

In my opinion it is wrong to imply negativity (door mat, etc) to a girl who is shown as a "good" bahu, and implying an aggressive, rebellious image as progressive and desirable (a reverse stereotype?).  I know it is controversial, and I am open for the brickbats!

IPS has a lot of halo around it (another stereotype!). It is said that one has to forget their families to be a good IPS - it is as wrong as forgetting one's professional life to be a good bahu/husband. True that their professional lives are highly demanding and family lives are affected (like in many other professions), but to "forget" family is going a bit too far (a professional door-mat?).  IPS are indeed allowed and encouraged to a work-life a balance (there are specific training programs for them for this as part of stress management). There are as many happily married IPS officers as in any other profession. I think the next phase of DABH is on how Sandhya IPS balances her work and family. I hope viewers will not exclaim "What?! IPS officer cooking for her family!". 

The trophy - it is a recognition and encouragement to bring out the excellence in skill, performance and success, not as a starting point for a list of "additional" responsibilities on the winner. This is true even for a Bharat Ratna. Tendulkar's life is not going to change even after getting it. Whatever responsibility that goes with it is more emotional and self-imposed than formal expectation. ALL IPS officers have SAME level of expectation at work, whether the BEST cadet or the WORST cadet.

My point is, even after becoming IPS and winning the tropy, Sandhya is absolutely right in expecting to be posted close to home to strike the work-life balance. 

One point I strongly oppose in Manzilmukul's post is that Sandhya is suffering in "dharma, parampara, pratishta and samman". On the contrary, woman is given high importance in our Dharma and Parampara and a woman is the pratishta and samman of every family. There are always digressions and wrong practices, but the spirit of our dharma is always to regard woman in high esteem. One needs to understand the real intent and meaning of our dharma, identify the wrong practices and shun them. It is absolutely wrong to imply that our dharma needs to be rejected, just to be progressive.

Agreed that the Sandhya's character has shortcomings, it is not perfect and ideal, just like any real human being.  Some things are not exactly inspiring if looked at individual event level.  But what inspires me is the very fact that someone who is cheated into her marriage, that too into an incompatible family, instead of just being depressed and crying for her fate, actually changed her fate and that too by love, honesty, courage and hard work. She will have happiness both at home and work and she will also make her family and country proud. She is exemplary AT THIS LEVEL and needs to be emulated.
Sorry for long post!

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coolmausam Goldie

Joined: 19 March 2012
Posts: 2036

Posted: 12 April 2014 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
Its Easy to Nothing Inspirational untill and unless we get into a Fate of Sandhya.
If A Woman working does not mean she has to Forget her Responsibilities towards her Family
If a Working Woman wears embroidery sarees and jewels it does not mean she is a Typical Bahu, a minimal Look is Good to keep with as long as its not inconvenient to her.We should not Forget she is a Human she too has emotions 
She too had a Personal Life.and cant be a Professional doormat all the time Leaving her Personal Life.
With a Husband like him,There is No wrong to Have BCT to Live Happily with her Husband,Family and doing job.
She want to make her Family Happy , like Zakir want to Acheive his Brothers aim and make his Family Happy.

she has Different shades in her-A Daughter,a wife ,A Bahu,A Bhabi, A Working Woman
A Woman is a human like anyother to hav emotions and Balance all her Different Sahdes.

Sandhya is Not only a Bahu also she can Sacrifise her Life to her country and a smart girl in Decoding Tricky Jobs
An Ispirtional Woman is the one who is Successful in her Professional and Personal Life

I Find her Successfull in Both areas.

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