It wasn't a normal day today.. Today's sun rose with a new hope.. I realized a beautiful feeling called Love. I realized how much he means to me.. How much I missed seeing him and talking to him. I wanted to apologize for my fault.. I shouldn't have closed door on his face but how can I let him see me in that condition.. My mother thought that I woke early today but she dint notice my eyes.. I dint sleep whole night... His thoughts and absence was eating me inside.. His ignorance broke the wall that I had made to guard my heart. I wanted to fly high and shout... I wanted to scream... I love you. This is the first time I was getting ready whole heartedly.. I wanted to look best. Everyone complimented me.. My father was happy to see the glow of my face.. How can I tell him that it wasn't coz of makeup but the glow of love... My mother felt there is some function in my office... No there wasn't any function but it wasn't less than any special occasion. After all I was going to confess. For the first time I was about to live my life without any fear... Today I wasn't feeling any boundaries around me... No dreams.. No status difference.. Nothing!!
I was so impatient to meet him that I reached first in the office. I was suppose to work but I wasn't in my control to do so.. All I was doing was staring at the door. Each footstep increased my heartbeat.. Each time the sound of the door increased my hope and it went down on seeing someone else. Finally the door opened and it was him.. I was so happy and wished him but he ignored me!! But he noticed the change in my appearance.. I know I was looking beautiful.. Everyone complimented me but it was only one person from whom I wanted to heard it. But what he said broke my heart.. He felt the change in me was coz of my 30 days challenge!! He said he wants me to work but it's my wish to continue!! He dint noticed my eyes.. He dint notice the glow.. He dint notice the love I have for him. All he showed is his attitude. I thought he is a changed person. He cares for me.. But he doesn't. Till yesterday he was ready to do anything for me and my love but today when I am ready to reciprocate.. All he cares about is that stupid challenge.
I dnt know what to say more.. My heart is sinking. It was my fault that I wasn't ready to accept his love. I was guarded by fears.. I know I was wrong but all I expected from him was to understand me. But he dint. Was his love so weak?? Just a mistake of a mine n he revealed his true-self..his love vanished in thin air.
The day started on a different note but not ending differently. Like any other night m alone with my diary.. Still no one to share.. Still no one to understand. The night at home looks like the one I used to spent in hostel... all r sleeping peacefully oblivious to my feelings..Everything is same But I am not the same Kalpi anymore. I am wounded but not broken. My dreams are still alive.. He can't snatch that from me!! He will promote me tomorrow than I will RESIGN with dignity!!
Regards
Vishesha
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