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|ReWrite|[RaHi]{ff.chap6/pg12} (Page 3)

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ARandKJFan

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ARandKJFan

Joined: 03 May 2013

Posts: 28892

Posted: 30 March 2014 at 11:11pm | IP Logged
Res
I'm here :D
Unres


First of all Mais, I love the concept. Though I was never a typical RaHi fan, I loved their story as much as I loved KiSha's. It was heartbreaking to see the story turn into something else altogether so thank you for writing this!
Now, onto the story.

First chapter:
Such a simple beginning and it was pure RaHi! One thing I've always admired in you Mais is how you capture the basic essence of the character so effortlessly! The way only Moti can understand Nonu and also how only she can provide to him the comfort he requires is so heart-touching <3 Also, I love how you've shown Panchi's childishness the way it is supposed to be. It's not immature as many people tend to make it.
Then came Ranveer's thoughts. This is all I hoped he would be in S2. The 'man' who would give a tough fight to KD. Your spin on it is exactly what I hoped it would be. This was the Ranveer I came to love in S1, the one who gave a tough fight to who he hates without even touching him.
"Hum ne apni life mein bohat galtiyan ki hain, kya kya repeat nahin kar paoge?"- This line my friend, is perfect. Panchii :') Mature, understanding Panchi. The way she was meant to be as a fully developed character. She is right, mistakes are to be learned from but there comes a point when we stop learning because it's just too much to take in.
Finally, the beginning of the break. I guess they were far too broken by then. Their bond did change a lot didn't it.

Second chapter:
Smooth, simply smooth transition. Also, YOU GAVE PANSH <33 And the dialogues are so RV :O I love how you prove me right har baar LOL The exact point Panchi stopped reacting is so precise. 'Like everyone else'- She's not everyone else, she is Panchi, her Nonu's moti. This piece is so unique because Panchi doesn't dance to his tunes and doesn't forgive as easily. 
The final two paras left me speechless. There's literally nothing I can say. It's so damn perfect Mais.

Hope you're satisfied with the comment! :)

I'll be reading Chap 3 later :D

~You Know Who ;)



Edited by ARandKJFan - 06 April 2014 at 9:28am

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tinaswea

Goldie

tinaswea

Joined: 05 October 2013

Posts: 1193

Posted: 30 March 2014 at 11:38pm | IP Logged
I read both the parts! They were super awesome! 
First part - Ranveer's birthday!
Uh wrote it beautifully!
You are a wonderful writer!
Second part - I loved the way uh portrayed Panchi's emotions!
I loved each and every thing about this FF!
KEEP WRITING!
UPDATE SOOON!
Lots of love
Tina Big smile

--Akshu--

IF-Rockerz

--Akshu--

Joined: 30 August 2011

Posts: 8913

Posted: 01 April 2014 at 1:09am | IP Logged
the second part was fab Maisy!
 
the way they were I the car and he failed to understand why she went with KD why she got into that mess!
 
and the way Panchi tried to but when she couldn't do anything futher she walked off!
 
and then the way he wnt to her to say sorry,was typical Nonu and MotiEmbarrassed
 
he says sorry cutely and she gives in and smiles back!
 
loved the way he felt guilty for not stopping her from coming into this mess!
again a awesome update!
 
waiting for the 3rd one Maisy! *hugs*

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sneha02

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sneha02

Joined: 28 June 2011

Posts: 8466

Posted: 01 April 2014 at 1:17am | IP Logged
Loved this update...always wanted to see this conversation in the show but anyway. 
Loved rv's outburst n angel's reaction... typical rahi...
N the way they made up yet the undertones being prominent even after they did..
N that last line was soo simple n panchi ish... she does seem to evaluate things ultra simply.. love that about her

M loving it yaar...
Thanks for this

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CavingIn

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CavingIn

Joined: 17 February 2011

Posts: 8199

Posted: 02 April 2014 at 9:14am | IP Logged
Just how much I missed RaHi, I realise right now Mais.
You know I wouldn't have much to say. You know how good you are. Continue with this.
Regards and Love
Nidha

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BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 18781

Posted: 05 April 2014 at 1:40pm | IP Logged

3. This New Place

Imperial College of Communications.

It was a dream she had been harboring for months. It only took her a few days to start wishing she had never come here. Despite all her personal pep talks, she was still a base coward inside.

'Meri Fattu Moti!'

That's what he used to call her a lot in Royal. Nowadays he hardly called her 'Moti'. Just a few days in this new place and they had gotten so distant. They hardly met and whenever they did, all she saw was him surrounded in darkness. The one he had gotten rid of after years of struggle. It was back much more stronger than before.

She saw him surrounded by his new friends, Kiya by his side mostly if not all the time. Just a few days in and they had gotten so popular in this new place. Hanging out with the rich and influential with such ease as if they belonged there. She knew that he did belong there. But still, it felt a little strange. He had just gotten so distant from her.

New friends. Old enemies. New strategies. Old agendas. He was so caught up in this blend of new and old that she felt like she no longer belonged there with him. She did tell herself in the middle of the night before drifting off to sleep that it was all for the good. This was a new life for her and a great chance to carve a path of herself which was detached from him.

And if she was completely honest with herself, from them. The family which was formed in Royal and broken so royally on the last day of that life. She had gone to every one of them, individually and begged them all to understand. But all it did was drain her off and exhaust her emotionally. Everyone welcomed her, no one listened to her. All of them had made their own version of the story, their minds so occupied of how they thought the others to be that they had completely turned a blind eye to what they actually were. And after a while, she had turned a blind eye to them as well.

'To each their own.' Yeah, that was right. It wasn't her obligatory duty to make them all stick together. And if Jaitley thought that she would do that all the time, all her life; well then, even Junglee could be wrong.

As for him, well he did try to maintain his equation with her like it was in Royal. With him always finding time and ways to make sure she was a part of the everything that he did. But it had proved to be a very hard task for him. The change in their schedule owing to them being pursuing different majors was just a small part of the reason.

The vacant look in her eyes that he had seen in the car hadn't completely left him. he thought that giving her a little space would make things alright between them but that little space had stretched into a void. They hardly had any conversations now, only saw each other once or twice a day for some fleeting moments and whenever they did see each other, he saw her chatting away with her new friends about God knew what. At times he got a little pissed off at her for not coming over like she always did and asking him what was up with him. He could really use her help. Didn't she know how much he needed her? He was finally growing up, finally becoming a man which she always pushed him to be and yet, she wasn't there to witness it.

This new place, Imperial College of Communication, was giving him a chance to be the man he could never be in Royal. All the times he could've come out victorious but he never did, this place and the people here were giving him a chance to redo them. He could be the winner she always said he had the potential to be. She should be with him. Everyone who supported him, his new friends, all of them were great but none of them were her. He had gotten close to Kiya since the dreaded Alpha Plus but again, she wasn't his Moti.

Sometimes though, the times when it was really late at night and he was just seconds away from falling asleep, he wondered if Panchi was even his Moti anymore. Was this new place, which was turning out to be great for him on so many levels in such a short amount of time, turning him into someone who easily live and survive without his best friend?

And lastly, why didn't this thing bother him much?

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lostmymusic.

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lostmymusic.

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 18781

Posted: 05 April 2014 at 1:55pm | IP Logged


Note about the story.

I figured that I should do this. As you have seen in these three chapters, the style isn't very clear. I am taking out some canon moments from S2 and adding my own spin to them. Basically, I will try and do balance to the POV of both Ranveer and Panchi equally. I know the style of the FF isn't very conventionally FF-ish but I am sticking with my own style of story telling. Chapter 3 wasn't very high on RaHi moments because I am only setting up the story here. The characters have to be established before I can take them and make them grow up.

As much as I loved the canonical growth of Ranveer and Panchi in S2, there were some things which I didn't approve of. Them being all happy and normal after anything major happening to them being the top of the list. In my head, Panchi's accident in S1 had much bigger impact of their relationship than what was shown in the show. And that accident plays a major part in their relationship in this story. It was hinted in Chapter 2 but I am still saying it here for clearance sake - Panchi and Ranveer didn't get over the accident. It put a big strain on their relationship, one which hasn't healed yet. They tried covering it up by new smiles and making new memories. They tried to conveniently forget that the accident ever happened but it crops up every now and then. And it will come up again.

Second, the lousy way RaHi got together. Oh yes, it was beautiful but it was lousy. It was such a last moment thing that the build up didn't satisfy them coming together. Here, everything leads to them being together. So yeah, Rukmini, Avi and Omi will happen. Not in detail but they will. Only they will be just a small part of a much bigger story.

Third, the lack of angst. I always wanted RaHi to have an angsty track, never got one which satisfied me. So, I am making this whole story angsty. I don't think it will have the adorable RaHi cuteness we all have gotten used to seeing. That was the RA ka RaHi. ICC ka RaHi is growing up from a boy and girl to a man and woman. So their relationship is going to have loads of drama and angst. Rest assured, the pure soul mates kind of moments will be there. Just not now. The story is still new and the premise is just being set. We will get there when we get there.

Lastly, I don't know how long this will be. Just that I know it will be finished. I am not very good at draggy chapters so mostly I will keep the chapters short, usually just covering one incident at a time. I will try to update this FF regularly without giving in much break in between. Short but regular chapters which are non-fillery, I doubt anyone would complain.

And I know I haven't replied to any comment on this thread yet. I will get to that them as well. Kindly do like and comment here, it will boost me up.

Before I go, if you have any questions regarding the backdrop or the possible future of this story, please do ask. If there is anything that you don't understand or are anxious to find out, say it all here on this thread. Any suggestion you have for RaHi, anything you wished happened but didn't, you can all say it here and I will try my best to fit it all in this story. No promises though. Buf if the idea is good and different, I would love to envision my RaHi on them via this fic.

Love,
Mais.

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Nikki_Titli

Joined: 03 June 2009

Posts: 74185

Posted: 05 April 2014 at 3:08pm | IP Logged
wonderful updates Maisy...!! hw much i missed ur writing...so glad tht u r back..!!

nywz as u asked for suggestions,may i req NOT to put 3rd angle?y is it necessary tht there must be a 3rd angle for hero-heroine to realize their love?show mein v had enough panchi-avi n rv-rukmini..so can it be fully avoided here? i HATED how the confession ws shown happenin to Rukmini's mahanta in the show..!!

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