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Joined: 18 September 2012
Antara was lying on her bed and her emotionless eyes were fixed towards ceiling. She was feeling so weak due to fever and mental pressure. Those two days seemed almost sucked out her most of the life force. She was trying hard but she couldn't forget that horrible moment of ganesh temple. With each and every passing moment, her condition was becoming worse. And not only that, a worry and fear were bugging her inside and almost eating her up slowly. What if mamma and mummy came to know about the incident of ganesh temple? How would she face them?!! Her head was spinning in anticipation and tremendous fear. so many people were present at the temple and most of them were from basti. And if her fear was true then thee news of raghu accidentally filling her mang would spread all over she wouldn't be able to show her face to anyone. Each and every moment while mummy ji or mama ji was coming inside the room or when anyone from the neighbor was coming to check her, she was looking to everyone with tremendous hidden fear in her eyes. but to her surprise no one uttered a single word. She even tried to detect if they were trying to hide the fact due to her illness but looking at their normal talk everything seemed so normal. And when after almost 24 hours she didn't heard any single buzz about raghu and her, she became a bit relived and as well as surprised. She didn't know how that became possible but the incident seemed vanished into thin air. She was missing her momma and her kashmir's home last night. She badly wanted to go there for a while where nothing could touch her. antara closed her eyes to get some peace of mind. That darkness seemed so deep in her life on those days, engrossing her everything slowly. She didn't know how but she had to wake up again, for those people who loved her, cared for her, her momma, ishan, noor appa, mummy, for all of them. she had to keep that smile intact to her face. she had already decided that when the fever would get over she would pay a small visit in her hometown. It was for long she didn't visited there and she knew that the closeness of those known people would surely help her recover everything. Then she would again come back to start a fresh. A small smile appeared on her face and her face became a bit cheerful at the thought. She was a bit well in the morning so mummy ji left her alone in the house and went to get her medicines. Mama ji had to go to ahmedabaad due to some urgent work these morning and it seemed like he wouldn't come back for long. Somehow it was good. He was always so tensed about any fact. Mummy ji was much cool headed and practical about things as she knew them very well. Antra was planning how she would go to shrinagar all of a sudden and give all of them a big surprise. She was feeling good and also a bit sleepy. She was drifted into her thought when suddenly she heard a huge bang on the door of balcony. Someone opened the door and came inside in a very fast pace. Antara was startled and she quickly lifted her face looking towards the door. She didn't went outside after her fever so the bright daylight came from outside blurred her eyesight for a while. She covered her face with the back of her forearm. After some moment when her eyesight became habituated with the light she slowly removed her gaze and looked towards the man who was standing there leaning on the wooden frame of door and looking towards her with a very hard face. Her head spin immediately and she jumped on the bed with a gasp. he was standing in front of her yet again.
Raghu noticed how antara's face loose all its color when she found him near the door of her balcony. Her wide fearful eyes were something which hit him badly inside. although, his name was enough to shake each and every powerful personality of Mumbai city and whenever they saw raghunath naik in their front they all got sweat drops on their faces. It made him satisfied, gave him assurance that he had the possession over all of them. But antara's fear was somehow so much different. In those fearful wide eyes he could observe clear glints of pain and hatred. Rather than giving it any kind of victorious feeling to him it hurt him inside. He didn't want that kind of reactions from her. He didn't want any possession over her. He wanted to give her happiness, he wanted to bring back her lost smile to her face, to hold her tightly in his arms and hide her there forever so that no one could take her away from him. he didn't want her to get afraid of him like others, he wanted her to feel those unspoken word which he was unable to say. He thoroughly observed her feature. She seemed leaner than before and also so weak. Her face had lost the pinkish color and it was pale, there were dirk circles around her eyes. His heart ached seeing her in that state. Anger rose in him again. What had she done to herself?! How could she do that to her own, to him?! Something burned inside him. Antara was still frozen on the bed hypnotized by his look. With frequent heavy fearful gasp, she was observing him with wide eyes. His eyes were fixed on her face. it was pitch black, with unreadable expressions. He was standing there in the brighter sunrays wearing black unbuttoned shirt and jeans just like the darkness in person. His eyes were hard, and dangerously cold. As the time passed she saw tenderness flickering into them slowly. It made her confused. What was going in his mind? a sudden helpless urge appeared in his face. Was he sad?!! She asked in her mind. but at the next moment a tremendous anger hardened his face more which again made a cold wave rush down her spine. Keeping his hard gaze intact to her, raghu slowly moved his feet forward to her. Antara flinched back slowly on the bed keeping her wide eyes intact to him. "ye kya halat bana li hain apni haan?!!" he at last said something. the anger, concern and pain flared through his voice startled her again. "ttt... tum yahan kya kar rahee ho?!!" she asked in shaky voice. She felt her legs were shaking as she tried to stand up on her feet. Her fever and mostly raghu's dominating presence was making her dizzy. "pahele mere sawal ka jawab de!!!!" his tone and eyes get more harder as he come forward closer to her. "mujhe tumhe kucch nahi kaahena... jaon yahan se.." she said in feeble voice backing of in her stumbled feet. Her fear and anticipation was increasing in each and every passing time. She could almost hear the sound of destruction in his each and every approaching step. "misscall dekh... apun chala jayega...bas tere se kuch kahena tha... oye sun..." he said loudly as he saw her trying to run away. "mujhe nahi kuch kahena hain nahi kuch sun na hain tumse... kyun mere piche pare ho?! Aur yahan kyun ayein ho?!!... kya chahte ho tum mujhse?!!" she said loudly in her frustrated voice. Looking at her shaking feature and wide fearful eyes he understood what was going inside her. He knew she was mentally disturbed by the incident of ganesh temple and he was damn sure that she didn't tell about the incident to anyone. "misscall...dekh shant ho ja..." he took a deep breath to compose himself. They were standing at the other side of bed, "dekh dart mat,.. idhar apun kuch lafra karne naii aya hain... bas tujhe kuch kaheena hain fir apun chala jayega... bas ek baar apun ki baat sun le fir apun tere ko disturb naii karega... promise." He said in urging tone. But as antara was so much disturbed mentally, raghu's urge didn't work on her. She was already so much afraid by his sudden trespass in her room so it made her more frustrated. "nahi!!!... nahi sun ni hain mujhe tumhari koi bhi batein... nahi sahe sakti ab main ye sab..." she said keeping her fearful gaze intact to his face and suddenly rushed towards the door to get out of the room. "ANTARA RUKKK...!!!" He said in his loud domination voice and rushed towards her. before she could get out of the room, a hand approached and banged the door shut in front of his bewildered eyes. "kaha naaa rukkk..." His hard voice roamed in her ear. She felt his breath on her hair which made her numb in fear. Raghu's hands shifted on her both side caging her inside his arms unbreakable trap. Antara felt his strong steal hard chest pressing hard on her back and almost about to break her bones. She flinched in his arms to avoid his closeness but it was utterly impossible. "idhar dekh..." he ordered her again. She just couldn't look at his face, it seemed the most impossible thing for her at that moment. Her silent denial increased his fury more. "baheri ho gayi kya?! Sunayi naii deta apun ne kya kahan?! Antara dekh meri taraf... naiii too..." there was clear threat in his voice. She couldn't hold herself anymore. She loose her all strength and surrendered herself crying her heart out. She hid her face on the wooden frame of the door as tears streamed down her chicks. Her outburst again made his heart shattered into pieces. Pain flickered into his eyes as she saw her miserable condition. Damn it!! What was he doing to her?! He came there to assure her that everything was fine. No one was saying a single thing about their accidental marriage but what he had done?! He again lose his temper and hurt her more. He looked away and sighed heavily. He looked back at her with guilty eyes. She was badly crying hiding her face on the door and her feature was shaking due to outburst. "ab ro kyun rahi hain??!!" he asked in such a painful and broken voice. he couldn't face her tears and she knew that. Then why she was doing those to him, to herself? She still didn't respond anyhow. "antara!! sun na.." he said with such a tender voice. "ek baar meri baat sun le... fir apun chala jayega... bappa kasam yaar.. apun idhar tere ko darane ya dhamkane nahi ayya... woo tu bhag rahi thi aur apun ka dimag sanak gaya..." He said in broken apologetic tone. He just wanted to turn everything right for her but each and every time the situation is getting tangled more and more. Antara's outburst was reduced a bit and she was sobbing silently. "ek baar apun ki baat sun le antara.. bas ek baar sun le.. fir chala jayega apun idhar se..." he said and lightly touched her shoulder. at that moment antara suddenly jerked up shoving his hand away and turned back to her with teary but hard eyes. the pain, hatred, disgust emitting from her eyes towards her made him numb all over. Raghu felt like antara's hate full eyes throw a dagger directly inside his heart breaking that into several pieces. "don't you dare to touch me raghunth naik!!... choone ki koushis bhi mat karna mujhe..." she said in steal hard voice which startled him. "ab kahene aur sun ne ke liye aur bacha bhi kya hain haan?!! Sab kuch khatam ho chukka hain... ZINDAGI BARBAAD KAR DI HAIN TUMNE MERI...!!!" she screamed loudly. At last her all frustration, her angers had started to get out. Her last sentence again hit him badly. Did she really think that??!! "misscall tu..." he was about to say something in startled voice but antara's angry voice again shut him up. "chup raho tum. Bas bahut ho gaya... itbe dino tak main chup rahi iska matlab ye nahi ki mujhme himmat nahi hain tumhare saamna karne ki..." she spitted out everything she had inside and everything hurt him badly. But he didn't said anything and let her out her frustration. He knew it was the only way to make her normal. "himmat ki daad deni chahiye tumhari... itna kuch hone ke baad bhi tum akke mere saamne khare ho... sharam nahi ati tumhe?.. aura b yahan kis liye ayein ho?! Yehi dekhne ki main maar gayi hoon ki nahin?!!..." his eyes froze on her angry face as she said those words. "eee misscall ye kya kahe rahi hain tu?!" he said in utter shock. "to aur kya kahoon... ab mere liye bacha I kya hain... sab kuch to chin liya tumne mujhse... aur ab kis liye zinda rahoon main?! Yehi soon ne ke liye ki basti ke har galion mein mera mazak banaya jaa raha hain... sab ek dusre se yahin kahe rahe hain ki kaise raghunath naik ne mandir mein antara kaul ki maaang bhar diya?!!" she again sobbed as she said those words. "arey ohhh yeri... yahich to apun kahene ayya tha..." raghu said at last making her a bit confused. "arey woo kaal jo bhi huya bappa ke mandir mein uske barein mein tension mat le... apun ne sab ko samjha diya hain... sara maamla fit ho gaya... koi mooh se ek labs bhi nahi kahega...sara maamla wohi ke wohi dafa-rafa ho gaya. arey galti ho gayi yaar maaf kar de na.." he said in urging voice. "galti??!!" she looked at him with unbelievable eyes. "tumhare liye bas ek choti si galti hain na ye?! Par mere liye nahi hain... tumhe pata hain jab kal mandir mein woo sab hone ke baad uss aurat ne woo sab kaha to mujhe kaisa laga?!.. nahi tum kabhi nahi samajh sakte!!.. samajhtee to aaj mere saamne khare ho ke yuunn mafi na mangte apni so called galti ke liye..." she threw another disgusting look to his startled face, "aur waisey bhi... koi kuch nahi kahega too kya huya?! sab kuch badal to nahi jayega... Log kuch kahe na kahe par unke andar to ye baat rahegi aur mere andar bhi... Ye baat to mere jahan mei bas gayi aur mei akhri saas tak ye baat mujhe sta ti rahegi, pata nahi maar ne se pahele aur kitne maut maarti rahegi.." she said sobbing. "ee chup ho ja... kya anab sanab bake jaa rahi hain haan?!!" raghu's voice was again rising. "baat ko daba dene se sach nahi badal jata... Choro tum.. galti meri hi thi.. kaise fass gayi main tumhare chaal mein mujhe pahele hi samajh jana chahiye tha ki ye sab tumne hi plan kiya hain.." she said. "eee tu kya kahe rahi hain?!! kaun sse plan ki baat kar rahi hain?!!... kaha ki batein lkidhar le jaa rahi hain haan?!" he asked in confusion and utter irritation. "jyada anjaan ban ne ki natak mat karo.. tumhe kya laga ki mujhe kuch samajh nahi ayega?! Ye sab tumhara hi plan tha naa?!! Tumne hi plan banaya tha ki jab main mandir mein jaungi tab tum achanak se mujhpe apne hathon se woo sindoor gira dogey... yahin na?!!... badla lena chahte ho na mujhse uss ek saal pahele ki raat ke liye... kyun ki meri wajah se tumhe arrest hona para.. yahin na?!!..." she shot back to him everything and raghu was in utter shock that he couldn't say a single word. "waah raghunath naik wahhh... kya badla liya hain tumne..." she let out a painful laughter, "congratulation... tumhara plan successful ho gaya... tumne jite jii maar dala mujhe." She said in utter disgust. "BASSS!!!!..." raghu suddenly banged the door in her back making a huge sound which again hitched her breath. His deadly voice roared and reflected at each and every corner of the room making her numb in fear. She knew that voice very well! She could clearly hear the alrm in her nerves. looking at his deadly fierce gaze fixed on her, she understood that he had said much. She continued to look at his hypnotizing killer gaze with wide frozen eyes. "BADLA HAAN?!!" he almost mocked, "arey bheje mein ratti bhar ki akal hoti to samajh aa jati tere ko ki agar mere ko sach mein badla lena hota to apun ek saal tak intezzar naii karta... ussi raat tere ko Kashmir se utha ke le atta... Akha country ka pura police force ya cid ke kutte bhi agar apun ke piche lag jata naa to bhi koi mere ko nahi rok sakta... Tune apun ko jana hi kitna hain haan?!... arey apun agar tera life sachmein narbaad karna chahta naa too mere ko koi planning-slanning nahi bana ni parti... woo to apun ek chutki mein kar sakta hain...!!" his threat shivered down her spine. Her wide hazels were fixed to her hypnotizing killer gaze. "par sach too ye hain ki apun tere se kabhi bhi badla nahin lena chahta hain... arey badla to door ki baat hain... tere ko chot pauchane ke barein mein apun sapne mein bhi nahi saoch sakta... arey tujhe jitna chot lagta hain na mere ko uss sey dugna chot lagta hain..." his eyes almost moistened while saying those word. She looked at his face dumbly. His each and every word making her heart flutter. Suddenly he caught her shoulder tightly and looked in her eyes in frustration. "par ye baat tu kabhi nahi samajh pati... Arrey samajh ne ki kaushis hi nahi karti tu... Tujhe hamesha yahin lagta hain na ki apun ek bahut hi ghatiya, gira huya, kamina typa banda hain.. yahich na?!... arey ek raat mein tere ko pata chala ki apun ek gunda hain, police ke khate par hamesha upar meein apun ka naam chapa raheta hain too mere liye teri har soch badal gayi?!... kaise?!!...arey gunde mawaliyan insaan naii hote kya?!... ye sach hain ki apun ne tere ko apna sacch naii bataya... par tere sath kuch galat kiya kya?! Bol?!.. kabhi tereko chune ki bhi kaushiss nahi ki apun ne!! kyun jaan ta hain?!... KYUN KI SIRF TERA HI NAII MERA BHI DIL LAG GAYA TERE SE... TERE JISAM NAII CHAHIYE APUN KO... MERE KO TU CHAHIYE... SAMJHI?!!" his loud words roamed at each and every corner of her heart and hit her badly inside. she became numb and continued to gaze at his face dry mouthed. She didn't know what to say, how to react. She was looking at him standing there all startled. Raghu looked at her expectantly, hoping for some answer from her but her dumb eyes didn't give any reactions. Suddenly he caught around her face tightly. His hard palms brushed harshly on her soft chicks making her shiver. "tune aisa kaise kiya misscall haan?!! Pata hain apun ka kya halat ho gaya tha jab mere ko pata chala ki tu bimar hain?!.. s**a duniya idhar ki udhar ho gayi ... aisa lag raha tha ki pairo tale zameen khisak gayi hain... kyun kiya tune aisa?!... arey tu hazar galiyan de de mere ko.. thappar maar, chot paucha... apun ko sab manzoor hain... PAR TUNE APNE AAP KO CHOT KYUN PAUCHAYA?!!... KYUN BIMAR KIYA APNE AAP KO?!... NAHI KAR SAKTI TU AISA!!... NAII KARNE DEGA APUN TERE KO... KYUN KI AB APUN KA BHI HAQ HAIN TUJHPE!!!" he again said angrily in hurt voice. antara was feeling almost dizzy by his mad angry scream. She had gone beyond the point to tolerate and react. A lone tear escaped from her eye and fell on raghu's palm attached to her chicks. raghu felt the moist in his hand and looked at teardrop in his hand. Sadness flickered in his eyes. he looked at her teary, fearful eyes with a very gentle and look full of guilt. She was again shedding tears only because of him. he again got hurt inside. slowly he left her chicks unwillingly. Antara squeezed her eyes to stop the outburst. His words were screaming in her mand and creating havoc. For all these days the barrier she created around her suddenly got a huge crack and was almost about to break out. She wanted to tell him something but she didn't know what to tell, how to say. She felt so exhausted and slowly sat on the floor brushing her back with the door. She hugged her knees and looked at front with blank eyes. raghu sat cross legged in his front keeping his eyes on her. He lifted his left knee and kept his forearm on it observing her thoroughly and trying to detect what was going in her mind. "misscall..." he said slowly. She didn't respond back. "ek baar to bharosa kar ke dekh leta... tu jo kar rahi hain na.. iss sey to s**a apun dono ki life barbaad ho rahi hain... mere ko apni parwa naii hain.. kabhi naii thi... par apun tere ko aise naii dekh sakta..." his voice almost broke. Antara was feeling blank due to the inner battle going inside her. two different thoughts creating havocs in her mind. her common sense, her thoughtful mind was trying hard to repair the crack and making her remember that she shouldn't get caught by his words. But their words seemed fading away as the crack was huge. The water of flood was about to hit the world and go through that. All these made her numb, blank inside. unable to say a single word, unable to response. Raghu again loose that and caught her shoulder again. "arey kuch too bol... dekh tera ye silent mode na mera dimag kha jata hain.. sach kahe raha hoon...aisa kuch kar doonga ki..." his threatening mad gaze again widened her eyes and made her gasp. raghu noticed that and he resisted his voice. he sank his head in his chest keeping his hand intact to her shoulder. antara looked at her in confusion. suddenly he lifted his face and looked at her with hard, determined look. "tere ko apni zid pe hi arra rahena hain na?!! abhi bhi ek shabd bhi naii kahegi... too thik hain... tu mere ko bhoolna chahta hain na hamesha hamesha ke liye?!! Apun ka thobra tere se bardast naii hota... chir machta hain... meri yadon ko hamesha hamesha ke liye apne dil se apne dimag se nikalna chahta hain hain na?!... to yahin sahi..." he said firmly and come so close to her face making heer numb. His black deep eyes were just inches apart from her hazels. "too sun le ANTARA!!.." his deep voice roamed in her ear, "aaj ke baad tu kya... tere aas paros wale bhi mere ko tere aas pass naii dekhe ga... apun gurantee leta hain ki ye gandha sa thobra jo tujhe itni takleef deta hain woo tere ko basti ke kisi gali pe bhi nazar nahi ayega... tu dhundegi to bhi nahi dikhayi dega... Apun iske baad tere saamne kabhi nahi ayega... galti se bhi naiii!!!" he said in firm voice and antara's eyes widened again. she felt her heart shattered into pieces when he said those word. She loose all her strength, all her capability by just those mere words by him. "ab tujhe takleef karne ki koi zarurat naii.. ab apun hi tere akhin se apne aap ko mita dega... par haan, aqpun tere ko chorke naii jayega... kabhi bhi naiii!!!... tu chahegi to bhi naii.. meri nazar hamesha ki tarah tujhpe rahegi... Par tu tension na le... apun pass raega to bhi tere ko ek bhanak bhi naii paregi mere pass hone ki... tere ko apun ye ahesaas hone hi naii dega ki apun tere aas pass hain. tere life se apna har wajoot mita dega apun... abtoo thik hain na?!.. tab too tu aise har second apni asson ki tanki khali karne mein naii laga rahega na?!!" he asked in a mocking voice. she gasped again. what was he talking about?! Did he really mean those words?! "par haan... Jab bhi tu kissi loche mein hogi ya apun ko lage ga ki tujhe help chahiye tab tu hamesha mere ko apne saamne khara payegi... teri har takleef, har musibaat ko pahele apun se ho kar guzarna parega.. tu chahe ya na chahein par aisa ho kar rahega.. aur aisa kar ne se tu too kyat era pura khandaan mere ko naii rok payega... SAMJHI MISS CALL??!!" he said in his deep calm dangerous voice. for a long pause they looked into each other's eyes trying to digest the situation. after some moment raghu left her shoulder and backed off. Antara's feature limply fell on the door behind like she didn't have a single strength left. Her shocked, stunned, dumb gaze was fixed on his hard unreadable face leaning back to her. he stood up and their eyes met for another long moment. "tere aas paass se, tere nazar se too apun hat jayega, ab apne dil aur dimag se mere ko nikal sakti hain to nikla le.." he said in a mocked but firm tone and forwarded towards the balcony door. Antara's startled, dumb eyes followed his every steps going away from her. each and every step broke her heart into million pieces. When he went near the railings, he turned back to show his face to him for last time. She saw the hidden smirk in his face which was almost challenging her. Like he was saying that if she could then show him forgetting about his everything. He turned back and hooped outside the railing. Antara's hand stretched towards him and she almost resisted her voice which was about to call his name. she knew that he must be going down through the rain pipes attached to the wall. She sat their wide eeyees taking heavy gasps recalling each and every bizarre moment happened just a while ago. His each and every word hit inside her badly. Did he really mean those words?!! Was she really not gonna see him ever again?!!! Someone pinched badly inside heart and another doze of silent tears came out of her eyes. The crack on the wall was getting huge time by time.
From the evening, antara's condition developed. Her temperature came back to normal almost. But she was feeling restless all the day. His words were roaming in her mind all the day. Whenever she was thinking that she wouldn't be able to see him again she felt burn inside her, turning everything into ashes inside her. Her heart screamed all the time but she didn't listened to it a single time due to his own insecurity and fear as a result she was going to lose her happiness for her whole lifetime and she was going became a heartless being for the eternity. She was lying on the bed and thinking about all those. It was late at night and surprisingly that mesmerizing mouth organ tune didn't spread in the air. She closed her eyes tiredly. She knew that it would be just like that, she wouldn't be able to forget anything about raghu. suddenly she heard a loud metallic sound which jerked her feature. She jumped on the bed. What was the sound?! It felt like something fell in front of their house. Antara quickly came out from the room in balcony. The whole basti was silent. There was not a single tress of anything. She noticed something shinning on the street light on the road beneath her balcony. Curiously she came down. Mummy's room was locked from inside. She must be sleeping. Antara opened the door and came out at the street. When she reached near the shinning thing, her eyes widened in shock. She stood there numb for a while and after a huge moment she lifted the broken metallic pieces of mouth organ in her hand. She knew which that broken mouth organ belonged to. Automatically her eyes moved towards the dark balcony of naik sadan. But she couldn't see him there. you lost him antara. you lost him forever. That's what you wanted na?! do get rid of him for your whole lifetime. Then why are you sad now?!' someone said from her inside and a silent lone tear escaped from her eyes. She looked at the sky which was totally cloudy. Not a single star was visible. Perhaps her stars had also left her leaving her all alone there. She slowly went inside and closed the door. The sound of door reflected on the silent streets of night.
Sometimes stars couldn't be seen when there was cloud in the sky. But it doesn't mean that they are not there. They are still with all of us keeping their eyes from the behind of clouds. Just like antara's hidden star smile towards her hiding behind the cloud. Sometimes something happened which was beyond our thoughts and our destiny could never be predicted.
Precap: "wooo antara... apne dosto ke sath gayi thi.. itni raat ho gayi abhi bhi nahi lauti..." saroj said with worried eyes looking towards the strret. "KYA?!!!" raghu asked in frustrated voice as her innocent conceited hazels flashed in his mind again.
Ps: sorry I was a bit late posting this chap and I was hell tired yesterday. Just hope these another depressing crap doesn't eat up your brain. Now I don't know what I deserve from all of you. I can't even ask for chappal for this long depressing chapter. But don't worry. It's the time for turnover. Depression phase is going to get over from next chapter.
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OMG ri... I don't know what to say to u right now
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Gun and Guitar-a RANTARA ff(3rd thread)(last chapter @pg66)
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A rantara os for rantara lovers
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In conversation with Ayaz Ahmed aka Cabir from 'Kaisi Yeh Yaariaan' ...
TellyBuzz in a candid conversation with Nikita Sharma...
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