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hi everyone!
today i was thinking what i would have done if i was the first and only wife of my husband initially and then followed by a trail of begums how would i have felt?
ruq when got married was a child of tender age where one is unaware of responsibilities and lacks the capability of rational thinking! she was seasoned to be jalal' wife at the time when she did not know what love is and what it is to be a wife..she only knew her friend jalal but who was this husband jalal?
was he the same friend or a different man and how should i treat him!..being a female she fell in love but with love comes insecurities and possessiveness! jalal the husband never responded to her love! was she not worth loving? was her love too shallow that jalal always had to remind her of being heartless! how can i forget the scene where i see tears in her eyes when jalal does not acknowledge her love! then slowly she adapted to the fact that jalal must be indeed heartless!
she started playing mind games with jalal as jalal liked challenges and was impressed by intelligent women..she did all to impress jalal..took care of his begums..took charge of harem..and sometimes i wonder how she would have felt making arrangements for her own husband who he is going to sleep with! i guess that was the era of polygamy..what can i say!
her fear of loosing jalal with every new entry of a begum would have increased but at the end she compromised of being the number one and started finding happiness in her power..was jalal faithful to her..maybe as a friend but not as a husband! then how can we expect love from her side,,how can she love when she never got any love..i sometimes think why i love my child so much, you all must be thinking whats big deal every mother loves their child, but why i mentioned is that i got unconditional love from my grandfather in abundance..so much that it started spilling over to the others! i reciprocate to that love by being a loving and caring mother because i felt great when i received love and to give love is even greater! unfortunately ruq never got that kind of love then how could she have reciprocated!
she might be self centered but then she started protecting whatever little she had until her fears started to creep again by jodha's entry..she knew she is different..she knew jalal well..she knew if someone can change jalal and attract towards her its jodha!..she could smell the danger but then jalal reassures her of her position..she kept quite and again compromised with her position at least she has that!...and now we all know how deeply and madly jalal is in love with jodha..ruq is crying inside..she is in the denial phase..thinking if she tries a little more she might get him back.. she is scared and confused, he never had a heart but what it is now that he feels for jodha which he never felt for me?..that is the reason ruq tries to take jodha's place by spending time with someone who is not there...
ruq, he is not yours anymore..maybe he will give u power and money but his heart is jodha's..what will you do with his body without a soul..i pity you ruq and sympathize with you but what can i do...can he give you another chance of being loved can he?..can he love u the way he loves jodha?..can he?,,if not then what will you do?
i ask this question to you all that should jalal give ruq a second chance and accept her love for the sake of her being his friend and first wife?
today i was thinking what i would have done if i was the first and only wife of my husband initially and then followed by a trail of begums how would i have felt?
ruq when got married was a child of tender age where one is unaware of responsibilities and lacks the capability of rational thinking! she was seasoned to be jalal' wife at the time when she did not know what love is and what it is to be a wife..she only knew her friend jalal but who was this husband jalal?
was he the same friend or a different man and how should i treat him!..being a female she fell in love but with love comes insecurities and possessiveness! jalal the husband never responded to her love! was she not worth loving? was her love too shallow that jalal always had to remind her of being heartless! how can i forget the scene where i see tears in her eyes when jalal does not acknowledge her love! then slowly she adapted to the fact that jalal must be indeed heartless!
she started playing mind games with jalal as jalal liked challenges and was impressed by intelligent women..she did all to impress jalal..took care of his begums..took charge of harem..and sometimes i wonder how she would have felt making arrangements for her own husband who he is going to sleep with! i guess that was the era of polygamy..what can i say!
her fear of loosing jalal with every new entry of a begum would have increased but at the end she compromised of being the number one and started finding happiness in her power..was jalal faithful to her..maybe as a friend but not as a husband! then how can we expect love from her side,,how can she love when she never got any love..i sometimes think why i love my child so much, you all must be thinking whats big deal every mother loves their child, but why i mentioned is that i got unconditional love from my grandfather in abundance..so much that it started spilling over to the others! i reciprocate to that love by being a loving and caring mother because i felt great when i received love and to give love is even greater! unfortunately ruq never got that kind of love then how could she have reciprocated!
she might be self centered but then she started protecting whatever little she had until her fears started to creep again by jodha's entry..she knew she is different..she knew jalal well..she knew if someone can change jalal and attract towards her its jodha!..she could smell the danger but then jalal reassures her of her position..she kept quite and again compromised with her position at least she has that!...and now we all know how deeply and madly jalal is in love with jodha..ruq is crying inside..she is in the denial phase..thinking if she tries a little more she might get him back.. she is scared and confused, he never had a heart but what it is now that he feels for jodha which he never felt for me?..that is the reason ruq tries to take jodha's place by spending time with someone who is not there...
ruq, he is not yours anymore..maybe he will give u power and money but his heart is jodha's..what will you do with his body without a soul..i pity you ruq and sympathize with you but what can i do...can he give you another chance of being loved can he?..can he love u the way he loves jodha?..can he?,,if not then what will you do?
i ask this question to you all that should jalal give ruq a second chance and accept her love for the sake of her being his friend and first wife?
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